1. Do you play well with others? 5 approaches to take
You may rememberyourimpressionable yearswhenyouplayedinasandbox inthe park withother
children.Thinkaboutwhetheryoujoinedthe otherkidswhowere playingtogether,orif yousat
alone with yournew,shinyshovel andbucket.If itwasthe latter,yourparentsprobablyworriedif
youwouldbe aloof andhave a hard time makingfriends.
How aboutat work?Do youjoinyourcolleaguesorstayto yourself?Whilestayingtoyourself and
buryingyourheadinthe workthat needstobe done may seemlike the correctwayto work,you
may be labeledbyyourcoworkersasa loner,antisocial,orevenasnob.Thisisnot how you wantto
be seen.
Be social,joinyourcolleaguesforlunch
Where I workwe have a staff roomthat mostof the employeesgathertoeattogether.There we
talkabout currentevents.Anythingfromsports;local orworldwide news;family;and,yes,politics.
We touchbase.Laugh. We try not to talkabout work,butthat is sometimesunavoidable.
SometimesIwouldprefertoeatlunchat my desk,ratherthan trudge to the staff room, but I know
it’simportantto interactwithmycolleagues.Idon’tneedtostaythe whole hourwe’re allottedfor
lunch,soI may eat and leave inhalf anhour.In thisway,I getin a few laughsandengage inenough
banterto remindmycolleaguesthatI’mpartof the team.
Be willingtohelpothers
You’re buriedwithanassignmentortwo.You’dlike toclose youroffice door,if youhave one,or
retreatto anotherpart of the building.How amIgoingto get all thisworkdone,youwonder?One
of yourcolleaguesneedsyoutohelpherwithacustomer.You, afterall,are the onlyexpertinthis
area.
You have the optionto tell yourcolleague that“there’sno wayIcan helpyou.I’ve gotmy ownwork
to do.” But here’sthe thing:whenyou’re workingasa team, youdon’tonlyhave yourownwork.
You are contributingtothe overall goal of the company,andyour workismerelyapiece.
Am I suggestingyoudropwhatyou’re doingimmediatelyall the time?No.There willbe timeswhen
helpingotherscanwaitan hour,day,or evena week.Thisiswhenyourabilitytoprioritizeis
important.One of my colleaguesaskedme if Icouldhelphiscustomerwitharésumé.ItoldhimI
couldina fewdays.He and hiscustomerwere verygrateful.
Deal effectivelywithconflict
For some reasona colleague hasitinfor you.You’re notsure why,butit’sobviousthatthere’sa
conflict.Youcan ignore yourcolleague,reactwithanger,ortake the highroad and make an attempt
to resolve it.
I recall a time whenIdidn’tmake an efforttoresolve aconflictbetweenacolleague andmyself.At
firstI was angryand willingtoignore her.ThenIhada sense of uneasiness.FinallyIwasresignedto
not speakwithherat all.Thiswenton forclose to six months.Tosay I didn’thandle thiswell is
untrue.

2. Anothertime Ihad a dispute withacolleague,butinsteadof lettingitfester,Iaddresseditthatday.
“We shouldtalk,”Itold him.“I’d like that,”he said.I toldhimwhyI reactedwithangerfor whathe
had done.He explainedhowhe misunderstoodaprocedure setinplace.Wantingtobe the bigger
person,Iapologizedformyactions.WasI right or wrong?It didn’tmatter.The verynextdaywe
were talkingasif the incidentneveroccurred.
I call one of my colleaguesthe peacekeeper,because whenItell himI’mdisappointedwiththe
behaviorof anothercolleague,he’ll remindme thatIneedto letsome thingsgo.And he’s right;
there are some issuesthataren’tworthaddressing.Some battlesnotworthfighting.
Acceptothers’failures
Are you alwaysright?Doyou performyourdutieswithoutfailure?Are youperfect?The answerto
these questionsisprobably,“NO.”Andif thisistrue,you’re notalone;noone isflawless.Sowhy
shouldyouexpectthose youworkwithtobe withoutflaws?
You will come acrossa boss whoexpectsyoutohand inperfectwork.He may demandthatyou take
on more workthan humanlypossible.In otherwords,he maybe unrealisticinhisexpectations.
Good bossesunderstandthattheirchargeswill commiterrors,andoccasionallywill letthempass.
Don’tbe tooproud
There’sa reasonwhyPride isconsideredone of the mostsevere of the sevendeadlysins.Of course
a little pride isimportant,butwhenyoufeelyouowneveryprojectorassignmentandwon’tlet
otherscontribute,youjeopardize the successof the team.
Have you everfeltthatyouwere the onlypersonwhoshouldbe the leaderof aproject?I know the
feeling.There wasaprojectthat I foughtmyboss to control to noavail.I realizedIhadto give upthe
projectand letotherscontribute.Iwasproudand wantedthe projectformyself.Iwasthat kidinthe
sandbox whowouldn’tshare myshinnybucketandshovel.
Lettinggo of your pride maybe difficultatfirst,butwhenyouunderstandhow importantitistolet
otherscontribute,sotheycangain experience;you’llsee the biggerpicture.Thistrulyshows
emotional intelligence(EQ).Inaddition,askyourself if whatyou’re doingisnecessarilyrightorthe
onlywayto do it.
What I’ve talkedaboutinthispostis the abilitytogetalongwithyourcolleaguesandboss.Overand
overI’ve spokenwithjobseekerswhohave losttheirjobdue topersonal conflictwiththe people
withwhomtheywork.Employersvalue more thaneverthe “soft”skill referredtointerpersonal.
Your abilitytointeractwithyourcolleagueswill take youplaces.Unable toworkwithothersmay
leadyouto talkingwithme…andIdon’twant that.