Lack of self-worth is one of the reasons for the need to help others and to be needed.

1. Others depend on me and I can’t let them down

2. Others depend on me. I can’t let them down
“I always want to help people. People come to me a lot. I can never say no to their
requests for help.”
This is an interesting scenario that might at first appear of altruistic nature, but deep
down it’s not really the case and it can somehow be detrimental to your true happiness.
You might experience it within your professional circumstances or in your personal life;
but, its impact is similar in both scenarios.
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3. Putting others first
Putting others first at all time comes at the expense of your own priorities. Within a
professional context, you may find yourself ending up trying to take on far too much to
help others and then being disappointed with yourself when realising you cannot do it all.
You subsequently realise having left too many things about your own work to the last
minute. As you desperately try to catch up, you feel frustrated with yourself as you
nonetheless end up letting others down while also failing to deliver your work on time or
to the expected standards.
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4. Others come first
If ‘Others Come First’ is within your personal life, you may find yourself continuously
postponing what you would wish to have or to accomplish for yourself, because you feel
you can’t disappoint whoever has just asked for your help.
There are various motives that compel you to get occupied by what others need, like your
dependency on others, wanting to be the centre of attention or avoiding to face what you
should deal with about yourself or in your life. But keeping yourself occupied with others’
needs will not resolve what you know should be addressed unless you actually deal with
it. And that something will eventually come down to our core needs and fears.
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5. It’s about saying ‘yes’
In my coaching experience, I have noticed that the most common reason for the need to
help others (and to be needed!) is not so much the desire to be appreciated or the lack of
self-worth (both valid and real reasons), but it is the fear of not being loved. Yet, for much
you keep putting others first, that fear won’t go away because what you’re failing at is to
appreciate and love yourself by taking care of your life (and professional) priorities.
This is not so much about saying ‘No’ to others’ requests for help, but it is about saying
‘Yes’ to your priorities and allow for a natural balance to emerge between the two.
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6. Your life priorities
When you think that others might not appreciate and love you (unless you help them),
what you are doing is simply seeing a reflection of what you are not doing to yourself. In
other words, you are not appreciating yourself, because you are not attending to what you
need and want for yourself.
So, be responsible for your life priorities. This will bring about a positive impact not only
in you, but also in a healthier way to help others.
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7. Others depend on me and I can’t let them down
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