How To Stay Calm


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How To Stay Calm?

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How To Stay Calm

  1. 1. How to Stay Calm (control your Anger)
  2. 2. An inspiration from  An inspiration from Management Article g
  3. 3. Put yourself in a state of mind where you say  to yourself,  Here is an opportunity for you to  to yourself 'Here is an opportunity for you to celebrate like never before, my own power,  my own ability to get myself to do whatever is  my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary.' Anthony Robbins Anthony Robbins
  4. 4. Have you ever found yourself angry with  Have you ever found yourself angry with people you care about and didn’t seem able  to stop yourself?  to stop yourself?
  5. 5. Do people who love you tell you that  you have anger management issues?  you have anger management issues?
  6. 6. Have you lost some important relationships  Have you lost some important relationships or created problems for yourself at work  because you couldn t seem to control your  because you couldn’t seem to control your angry behavior?
  7. 7. If this describes you, then you need to regain  control and stop yourself from hurting others.
  8. 8. The first thing to do is to recognize that  y you are choosing your anger. gy g
  9. 9. What? 
  10. 10. Choosing my anger? 
  11. 11. Well, there are several reasons people may  W ll h l l choose anger. Let’s see which one best  describes you. d ib
  12. 12. Some people use anger to intimidate others  and subsequently get what they want. In this  way, the angry person is able to control the  behavior of others.
  13. 13. Some people use their anger as a way of  Some people use their anger as a way of getting attention. If a person needs attention,  it doesn t always matter whether that  it doesn’t always matter whether that attention is positive or negative, as long as  someone is noticing him or her. someone is noticing him or her
  14. 14. Anger can also be used as a tactic to avoid  Anger can also be used as a tactic to avoid responsibility. If a person doesn’t want to do  something, anger can be a valid way to get  something anger can be a valid way to get out of it.
  15. 15. Similar to wanting attention, sometimes  Similar to wanting attention sometimes people are feeling small and insignificant and  anger works to pump themselves up or  anger works to pump themselves up or provide courage to do something scary.
  16. 16. Anger has energy.
  17. 17. When someone is experiencing things  that are frustrating, he or she may not  g y be dealing with his or her anger.
  18. 18. Instead of processing it, cognitively  Instead of processing it cognitively restructuring some belief systems or working  out the energy physically, anger can provide a  out the energy physically anger can provide a much needed release valve.
  19. 19. Do you recognize yourself in any of  those scenarios?  those scenarios?
  20. 20. When you lose your temper, which one  of these reasons best identifies what  you are trying to accomplish? 
  21. 21. Perhaps you have yet another reason. One  Perhaps you have yet another reason One thing I know for sure is that you always  behave in your best attempt to get something  behave in your best attempt to get something you want. Your behavior is never random and  it never  just happens to you it never “just happensquot; to you.
  22. 22. It’s a very subtle difference but an  important one nonetheless.
  23. 23. All behavior is proactive.
  24. 24. You do not choose a behavior because of  something that occurred outside of you. 
  25. 25. For example,  For example I can remember asking my youngest son to  clean his room. He said he would do it later— clean his room He said he would do it later only later never came. So, I patiently asked  him a second time. Again, he said he d do it  him a second time Again he said he’d do it later. This went on for most of the day. Finally,  in exasperation, I lost my temper with him  in exasperation I lost my temper with him and yelled at him about cleaning his room.
  26. 26. The question is why did I get angry? 
  27. 27. Most people would say I got angry because  Most people would say I got angry because my son wouldn’t do what I asked. However,  the real reason is that I used my anger as my  the real reason is that I used my anger as my best attempt to get my son to clean his room.  (Just for the record, it didn t work very well.) (Just for the record it didn’t work very well )
  28. 28. Why am I making this seemingly  insignificant distinction?  insignificant distinction?
  29. 29. Because once you become conscious of the  B b i fh reasons you are choosing your behavior, then  you can consciously choose to do something  i lh td thi more responsible and more effective.
  30. 30. More responsible means you are getting your  More responsible means you are getting your needs met without interfering with other  people meeting theirs. Effective means it  people meeting theirs Effective means it actually works to get you what you really  want. want
  31. 31. When you use anger, it is not responsible  When you use anger, it is not responsible because anger almost always interferes with  the other person getting his or her needs  the other person getting his or her needs met. You definitely have not only the right,  but also the responsibility to get your needs  but also the responsibility to get your needs met but not at the expense of someone else.
  32. 32. Underlying most reasons for choosing anger,  you are probably attempting to improve an  you are probably attempting to improve an important relationship in your life. Anger will  never work to do that. You may get the initial  never work to do that You may get the initial satisfaction of getting the other person to do  your bidding, but you have damaged  your bidding but you have damaged something in the relationship.
  33. 33. You must make a proactive plan about what  you are going to do instead of using anger. It  should be something that has at least an  equal chance of getting you what you want  while supporting others in their process of  getting their own needs met.
  34. 34. Control your anger  and  and stay calm
  35. 35. Thank you, gp