After you say i do sermon12 feb2012Presentation Transcript
Marriage Week InternationalRELATIONSHIPs in Marriage
MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP1 Cor 7:1-10 (Message Bible)7 Now, getting down to the questions you asked inyour letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to havesexual relations?2 Certainly — but only within a certain context. Itsgood for a man to have a wife, and for a woman tohave a husband. Sexual drives are strong, butmarriage is strong enough to contain them andprovide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in aworld of sexual disorder. 3 The marriage bed must bea place of mutuality — the husband seeking to satisfyhis wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.
1 Cor 7:1-10 (Message Bible)4 Marriage is not a place to "stand up for yourrights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other,whether in bed or out. 5 Abstaining from sex ispermissible for a period of time if you both agree toit, and if its for the purposes of prayer and fasting —but only for such times. Then come back togetheragain. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting uswhen we least expect it. 6 Im not, understand,commanding these periods of abstinence — onlyproviding my best counsel if you should choosethem.
7 Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me — asimpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not foreveryone any more than marriage is. God gives thegift of the single life to some, the gift of the marriedlife to others.8 I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows thatsingleness might well be the best thing for them, asit has been for me. 9 But if they cant manage theirdesires and emotions, they should by all means goahead and get married. The difficulties of marriageare preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as asingle.10 And if you are married, stay married. This is theMasters command, not mine.
Intro on 1 CorinthiansChps 1-6 Teaching : Paul had been dealing with sinsreportedly in the Corinthian church.Chps 7-16 Application : Dealing with questions &situations – “Now about…”; “Concerning”Marriage (7:1… )Singleness (7:25..)Food offered to idols (8:1….)Spiritual Gifts (12:1..)Resurrection of the dead (15:1…) &Offering for the Jews (16:1…)
Intro on 1 CorinthiansReading 1 Corinthians 7, pleasekeep in mindThe city of Corinth• Temple of Aphrodite (Venus) : Noted for Immorality … Temple prostitutes …• Greek concept : that Body/Flesh is “evil”• Time of persecution for the Christians (v. 26).
Intro on 1 CorinthiansCorinthian Christians in the midst :“Adoption” : It’s all OK (Chps 5 & 6)“Reaction” : Abstinence (Chps 7)• 1 Cor 7 - Paul is replying to definite questions, social situations & circumstances• It is NOT A COMPLETE "theology of marriage" in one chapter• Need to consider what the rest of the Bible has to say about this important subject
Special Mention 1 : 1 Cor 7:1V1 : Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry….V7 : I wish that all men were as I am…V8 : It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am….Is Paul saying all to remain “single” & “not marry” ? advocating “celibacy” for all ?Paul’s personal situation & circumstances …Consider Paul’s other letters … Eph, Col, Timothy, Titus …
1. PRACTICE of MarriageV2 Its GOOD for a man to have a wife,and for a woman to have a husband.1. Marriage is GOOD. Instituted by God Part of God’s Divine Plan Marriage relationships part of the Mosaic Law Basis for society & community
1. PRACTICE of MarriageV2 Its good for A man to have A wife,and for A woman to have A husband.2. Marriage is MONOGAMOUS A man – A wife A woman – A husband Gen 2:24 & Matt 19:5 : Two become One… God’s original design …
1. PRACTICE of MarriageV2 Its good for a MAN to have aWIFE, and for a WOMAN to have aHUSBAND.3. Marriage is HETEROSEXUAL God made MAN (Gen 2:7) Not good for man to be alone (Gen 2:18) God then made WOMAN as a “helper” (Gen 2:22)
1. PRACTICE of MarriageV2 Its good for a MAN to have a WIFE,and for a WOMAN to have a HUSBAND.3. Marriage is HETEROSEXUAL God’s Word is very clear – OT: Lev 18:22, Deut 23:17, NT: Rom 1, 1 Cor 6 … Homosexual relationship is not & never part of God’s Design and Plan … The Church however need to help, not just to judge & condemn…
1. PRACTICE of Marriage1. Marriage is GOOD2. Marriage is MONOGAMOUS3. Marriage is HETEROSEXUALThis is God’s Plan & Design
2. Principles of MarriageV3 The marriage bed must be a place of MUTUALITY..a. MUTUAL SATISFACTION Marriage is not about I, Me and Mine ! Marriage is about … Considering our spouse in all things … Considering our spouse at all times Satisfying the needs of our spouse … BUT do we know how to “satisfy”? Do we even know what are the needs of our spouse ??
Love Language : Our primary way of expressing and interpreting love.Do you know what’s your ‘Love Language’?What’s your Spouse’s ‘Love Language’?“For whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who have a different love language than their own!”2. Principles of Marriagea. Mutual Satisfaction
The 5 Lve Languages …Words Of AffirmationQuality TimeReceiving GiftsActs Of ServicePhysical Touch
Practical Exercise : (Weekly Bulletin)My Response to : Set 1 ( ) Set 2 ( ) Set 3 ( ) My LOVE LANGUAGE is : _______________________________(If Applicable) My Spouse/Mate : Set 1 ( ) Set 2 ( ) Set 3 ( ) Conclusion : _________________________
WHAT’S YOUR / LOVE LANGUAGE?Choose the ONE STATEMENT you (your spouse)PREFER from each of the 3 sets of examples below.SET 1 A. My spouse’s love notes make me feel good B. I love to be alone with him/her C. Receiving special gifts from him/her makes me happy. D. I feel loved when he/she helps me with my work. E. I love his/her hugs
WHAT’S YOUR / LOVE LANGUAGE?SET 2: A. I like it when he/she tells me I look good. B. I enjoy long trips with my spouse. C. I look forward to seeing what he’ll/she’ll give me for my birthday. D. I feel loved when he/she does the laundry E. I love holding his/her hand.
WHAT’S YOUR / LOVE LANGUAGE?SET 3:A. His/Her reactions to my achievements are so encouraging.B. I love having his/her full attention.C. I know he/she really loves me when he/she surprises me with gifts.D. It means a lot to me when he/she helps me with something I know he/she hates.E. I love it when he/she sits close to me.
If you chose mostly ….A’s: your love language is words of affirmationB’s: your love language is quality timeC’s: your love language is receiving giftsD’s: your love language is acts of serviceE’s: your love language is physical touchWhy is this important ?WHAT’S YOUR / LOVE LANGUAGE?
Love Communication Action To Do To Avoid..Language Words of Compliments Send Notes Criticism,Affirmation Kind Words or Cards “Put-Downs” Quality 1-1 Time Long walks, Long periods Time Together Do things.. apart.. Receiving +ve, fact- Gifts-special / Forgetting Gifts orientated… spontanous special days! Acts of ‘I can’, ‘I will’, Help with Only helping Service ‘What else..’ chores others! Physical Holding Physical Non-Verbal, Touch hands, Hugs neglect
The Bible Is RIGHT !“MARRIAGE DURABILITY INDEX”• couples who last : ‘Putdown index’ 5/100• couples who separate: ‘Putdown index’ 10/100 and gets worse with time… 5X+ cruel & negative comments at each other"Hostile putdowns act as cancerous cells that, ifunchecked, erode the relationship over time,“Is it not written in Prov 18:21…. “The tongue has the power of life and death,…”
2. Principles of MarriageV4 Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights."2. MUTUAL SUBMISSION No place to “lord it” over our spouse A conscious decision to “submit” to our spouse Exercising meekness in the marriage relationship
2. Principles of Marriage : b. Mutual Submission21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
2. Principles of MarriageV 4 “Marriage is a decision to serve the other,…”3. MUTUAL SERVICEConsider Jesus… Mark 10:43-45 John 13:13-16 Phil 2:5-8
2. Principles of Marriage c. Mutual Service
2. Principles of Marriage : c. Mutual ServiceUS Magazine made a survey on -What is VERY IMPORTANT in a Marriage : 1. Communication 90% 2. Mutual Respect 82% 3. Doing things as a Couple 58% 4. Sex 32%The survey also showed that those who grew up with parents who were happily married were more likely to be happily married themselves.
2. Principles of MarriageMutual Satisfaction ….Mutual Submission ….Mutual Service …. When you say “I DO” you have made … A COMMITMENT “We are NOT committed to someone because we love them, we love them because we are COMMITTED to them.” Love comes from commitment.
3. PERMANENCE of MarriageV10 : And if you are married, stay married. Thisis the Masters command, not mine.• Marriage is for Life• Must be the basis & foundation for every Christian marriage
Hernan Cortes, a Spanish Conquistador
What about “Cohabitation” orTrial” Marriages ?Barna Research :“statistics have shown that co-habitation increases the likelihood of divorce, ….”Divorce ? Barna Research Reports :“Christian & Non-Christian divorce rates essentially the same” 3. Permanence of Marriage
3 P’s of Marriage1. Practice of Marriage : Good, Monogaous & Heterosexual2. Principles of Marriage : Mutual Satisfaction, Submission & Service3. Permanence of Marriage.CONCLUSION …
I. Rededicate our Hearts to the LORD• Renew our relationship with Jesus.• Spend time daily ‘watering the garden of our soul’ with God’s word and prayer.• Deepen our relationship with Him asking Him to help us become the person He meant us to be.
II. Rededicate our Marriage to the LORD• Our marriage is God ordained• Consciously ensure God is in our marriage• Renew our COMMITMENT to our spouse
Do you renew your vows to your spouse asyour lawfully wedded wife/husband,to continue to live together in the Holy Stateof Matrimony?Will you continue to love her/him, comforther/him, honour and keep her/him, insickness and in health; and forsaking allother, continue to keep yourself only toher/him so long as you both shall live?ANSWER : I DORenewing THE WEDDING PLEDGE
Renewing THE WEDDING VOWSI, (name), renew my commitment to you,(name of spouse) as my (wife/husband),to have and to hold,for better, for worse,for richer, for poorer,in sickness and in health,to love and to cherish,till death do us part,according to God’s holy ordinanceand to this end, I pledge you my faith.
III. Rededicate our Family to the LORD• May the Lord have the place of honor in our family• Consciously commit once again each of our children (? grand-children) unto the Lord
Marriage Moments offershort but poignant biblical devotions, discussionpoints, scripture references and practical ideas for couples to enjoy their marriage.
John / Fee Ling
Conclusion One of the highest goals of any marriage should be to present each other before Christ as a fragrant offering – pure and spotless ….