HAVING A MARRIAGE
OF INFLUENCE

Week 2: Impacting Your Spouse
Guest Speakers
Shane & Andrea Fell
October 9, 2010


       ...
MATTHEW 5:13-16
MATTHEW 5:13-16
   You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt
    loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty
again?...
HAVING A MARRIAGE OF
     INFLUENCE
    Impacting Your Spouse
“Marriage is a divine
conspiracy, arranged by
     God for your
   transformation.”
  ~ John & Stasi Eldredge
HEBREWS
  10:24
HEBREWS
     10:24
 And let us consider how we
  may spur one another on
toward love and good deeds.
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding
                   • Understanding your Situation
2. Encouraging     • Understandi...
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
    SITUATION
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
        SITUATION
1. Marriage is not easy

2. Our attitude is important

3. Beware of the enemy
JAMES 3:2
 We all stumble in many ways. If
 anyone is never at fault in what
he says, he is a perfect man, able
to keep hi...
JAMES 3:2
 We all stumble in many ways. If
 anyone is never at fault in what
he says, he is a perfect man, able
to keep hi...
YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS
YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS

   What’s your heart attitude toward
 your spouse? Is it positive or negative?

 How do you speak a...
EPHESIANS
   4:29
EPHESIANS
      4:29
 Do not let any unwholesome
talk come out of your mouths,
  but only what is helpful for
building oth...
“Happiness in marriage
  waits upon the shift
 from changing you to
     changing me”
  ~ John & Stasi Eldredge
MATTHEW
  7:3-5
MATTHEW
        7:3-5
 Why do you look at the speck of
 sawdust in your brother's eye and
  pay no attention to the plank ...
BEWARE THE ENEMY
BEWARE THE ENEMY

We have any enemy who does not
want to see us succeed in becoming
 more Christ-like in our marriage.
  T...
Relativity - M.C. Escher
JAMES 4:7
JAMES 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to
God. Resist the devil, and he
    will flee from you.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
      SPOUSE
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
          SPOUSE
1. Know your spouse’s story

2. Champion your spouse’s gifts

3. Understand your spous...
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER


  Are you a student of your spouse?
      Do you know their story?
I PETER 4:10
I PETER 4:10
                  Each one should use whatever
                   gift he has received to serve
             ...
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
      S.H.A.P.E.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
          S.H.A.P.E.
S   piritual Gifts
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
      S.H.A.P.E.
S
piritual Gifts


H   eart
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
      S.H.A.P.E.
S
piritual Gifts


H   eart


Abilities
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
      S.H.A.P.E.
S
piritual Gifts


H   eart


Abilities


P
ersonality
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
      S.H.A.P.E.
S
piritual Gifts


H   eart


Abilities


P
ersonality


E
xperiences
JAMES 1:2-4
   Consider it pure joy, my
brothers, whenever you face
trials of many kinds, because
you know that the testin...
JAMES 1:2-4
   Consider it pure joy, my
brothers, whenever you face
trials of many kinds, because
you know that the testin...
QUESTION TO CONSIDER


Are you a champion of your spouse using
 their spiritual gifts, or a stumbling block?
HOW DO YOU RECHARGE?
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
      SAVIOR
UNDERSTANDING YOUR
          SAVIOR

• You have a Savior (and it’s not your spouse)
• Your spouse has a Savior (and it’s n...
PSALM 62:1
My soul finds rest in God
alone; my salvation comes
        from him.
PSALM 62:1
My soul finds rest in God
alone; my salvation comes
        from him.

                            MATTHEW 6:33
...
“The greatest gift you
can give to your marriage
 is for you to develop a
  real relationship with
       Jesus Christ.”
 ...
QUESTION TO CONSIDER
QUESTION TO CONSIDER

 Are you more concerned with your
  spouse pleasing God than you are
    with your spouse pleasing y...
QUESTION TO ASK YOUR
       SPOUSE
QUESTION TO ASK YOUR
       SPOUSE

   How can I help cheer you on
  in your relationship with God?
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging
                   • Encourage by word
3. Interceding     • Encour...
GALATIANS
     5:22-23
  But the fruit of the Spirit is
   love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
 ...
GALATIANS
     5:22-23
  But the fruit of the Spirit is
   love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
 ...
•Share what God is doing in your life,
 and ask your spouse what God is
 doing in their life.

•Prayerfully encourage your...
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding
                   • Pray for your spouse
         ...
JAMES 5:16
JAMES 5:16
 Therefore confess your sins to
 each other and pray for each
   other so that you may be
healed. The prayer of...
INTERCEDING FOR YOUR
       SPOUSE
INTERCEDING FOR YOUR
       SPOUSE
 •Pray for your spouse, specifically,
  every day.

 •Pray with your spouse, specifically...
CLOSING THOUGHTS
CLOSING THOUGHTS
     HEBREWS 10:24
   And let us consider how we
    may spur one another on
  toward love and good deeds.
APPLICATION
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in
  their growth an...
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in
  their growth an...
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in
  their growth an...
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in
  their growth an...
SMALL GROUP
 DISCUSSION
SMALL GROUP
          DISCUSSION
• Share something that you appreciate about
  your spouse, or give an example of somethin...
CONNECT WITH LIVING
  MARRIAGE ONLINE
CONNECT WITH LIVING
  MARRIAGE ONLINE
         Blog - livingmarriage.wordpress.com

         Follow us on Twitter @livingm...
Looking Ahead ...
HAVING A MARRIAGE
OF INFLUENCE
Week 3: Impacting Others
Guest Speakers
Dick & Cindy Greenup
October 16, ...
Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010
Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010
Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010
Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010
Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010
Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010
Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010
Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010
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Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

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Impacting Your Spouse message by Shane and Andrea Fell and the 'Having a Marriage of Influence' young couples event at Elmbrook Church 10.9.2010.

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Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

  1. 1. HAVING A MARRIAGE OF INFLUENCE Week 2: Impacting Your Spouse Guest Speakers Shane & Andrea Fell October 9, 2010 LivingMarriage elmbrook church young couples fellowship LivingMarriage elmbrook church young couples fellowship
  2. 2. MATTHEW 5:13-16
  3. 3. MATTHEW 5:13-16 You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
  4. 4. HAVING A MARRIAGE OF INFLUENCE Impacting Your Spouse
  5. 5. “Marriage is a divine conspiracy, arranged by God for your transformation.” ~ John & Stasi Eldredge
  6. 6. HEBREWS 10:24
  7. 7. HEBREWS 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
  8. 8. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
  9. 9. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE 1. Understanding 2. Encouraging 3. Interceding
  10. 10. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE 1. Understanding • Understanding your Situation 2. Encouraging • Understanding your Spouse 3. Interceding • Understanding your Savior
  11. 11. UNDERSTANDING YOUR SITUATION
  12. 12. UNDERSTANDING YOUR SITUATION 1. Marriage is not easy 2. Our attitude is important 3. Beware of the enemy
  13. 13. JAMES 3:2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
  14. 14. JAMES 3:2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. ROMANS 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
  15. 15. YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS
  16. 16. YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS What’s your heart attitude toward your spouse? Is it positive or negative? How do you speak about your spouse when you are not in their presence?
  17. 17. EPHESIANS 4:29
  18. 18. EPHESIANS 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
  19. 19. “Happiness in marriage waits upon the shift from changing you to changing me” ~ John & Stasi Eldredge
  20. 20. MATTHEW 7:3-5
  21. 21. MATTHEW 7:3-5 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
  22. 22. BEWARE THE ENEMY
  23. 23. BEWARE THE ENEMY We have any enemy who does not want to see us succeed in becoming more Christ-like in our marriage. The “father of lies” (John 8:44).
  24. 24. Relativity - M.C. Escher
  25. 25. JAMES 4:7
  26. 26. JAMES 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
  27. 27. UNDERSTANDING YOUR SPOUSE
  28. 28. UNDERSTANDING YOUR SPOUSE 1. Know your spouse’s story 2. Champion your spouse’s gifts 3. Understand your spouse’s needs
  29. 29. QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
  30. 30. QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER Are you a student of your spouse? Do you know their story?
  31. 31. I PETER 4:10
  32. 32. I PETER 4:10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. *For more information on spiritual gifts, see Romans 12, I Corinthians 12, and Ephesians 4.
  33. 33. UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.
  34. 34. UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E. S piritual Gifts
  35. 35. UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E. S piritual Gifts H eart
  36. 36. UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E. S piritual Gifts H eart Abilities
  37. 37. UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E. S piritual Gifts H eart Abilities P ersonality
  38. 38. UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E. S piritual Gifts H eart Abilities P ersonality E xperiences
  39. 39. JAMES 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
  40. 40. JAMES 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance EPHESIANS must finish its work so that you may be mature and 2:10 complete, not lacking For we are God's anything. workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
  41. 41. QUESTION TO CONSIDER Are you a champion of your spouse using their spiritual gifts, or a stumbling block?
  42. 42. HOW DO YOU RECHARGE?
  43. 43. UNDERSTANDING YOUR SAVIOR
  44. 44. UNDERSTANDING YOUR SAVIOR • You have a Savior (and it’s not your spouse) • Your spouse has a Savior (and it’s not you)
  45. 45. PSALM 62:1 My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.
  46. 46. PSALM 62:1 My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. MATTHEW 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
  47. 47. “The greatest gift you can give to your marriage is for you to develop a real relationship with Jesus Christ.” ~ John & Stasi Eldredge
  48. 48. QUESTION TO CONSIDER
  49. 49. QUESTION TO CONSIDER Are you more concerned with your spouse pleasing God than you are with your spouse pleasing you?
  50. 50. QUESTION TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE
  51. 51. QUESTION TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE How can I help cheer you on in your relationship with God?
  52. 52. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE 1. Understanding 2. Encouraging 3. Interceding
  53. 53. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE 1. Understanding 2. Encouraging • Encourage by word 3. Interceding • Encourage by deed • Share how God is at work
  54. 54. GALATIANS 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
  55. 55. GALATIANS 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. JAMES 2:17-18 Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
  56. 56. •Share what God is doing in your life, and ask your spouse what God is doing in their life. •Prayerfully encourage your spouse to grow in their walk with Christ and to serve (individually and as a couple).
  57. 57. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE 1. Understanding 2. Encouraging 3. Interceding
  58. 58. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE 1. Understanding 2. Encouraging 3. Interceding • Pray for your spouse • Pray with your spouse
  59. 59. JAMES 5:16
  60. 60. JAMES 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
  61. 61. INTERCEDING FOR YOUR SPOUSE
  62. 62. INTERCEDING FOR YOUR SPOUSE •Pray for your spouse, specifically, every day. •Pray with your spouse, specifically, every day.
  63. 63. CLOSING THOUGHTS
  64. 64. CLOSING THOUGHTS HEBREWS 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
  65. 65. APPLICATION
  66. 66. APPLICATION • Become a student of your spouse.
  67. 67. APPLICATION • Become a student of your spouse. • Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.
  68. 68. APPLICATION • Become a student of your spouse. • Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate. • Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow.
  69. 69. APPLICATION • Become a student of your spouse. • Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate. • Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow. • Openly share what God is doing in your life.
  70. 70. APPLICATION • Become a student of your spouse. • Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate. • Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow. • Openly share what God is doing in your life. • Pray for and with each other every day.
  71. 71. SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION
  72. 72. SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION • Share something that you appreciate about your spouse, or give an example of something your spouse has done recently that demonstrated serving love. • How do you “recharge” individually or as a couple? • How might you and your spouse use your gifts, abilities, and experiences to serve Christ?
  73. 73. CONNECT WITH LIVING MARRIAGE ONLINE
  74. 74. CONNECT WITH LIVING MARRIAGE ONLINE Blog - livingmarriage.wordpress.com Follow us on Twitter @livingmarriage
  75. 75. Looking Ahead ... HAVING A MARRIAGE OF INFLUENCE Week 3: Impacting Others Guest Speakers Dick & Cindy Greenup October 16, 2010 LivingMarriage elmbrook church young couples fellowship LivingMarriage elmbrook church young couples fellowship

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