How not to be a douche on FetLife

How not to be DOUCHE a Cunning Minx www.polyweekly.com summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 1

How not to be DOUCHE a Cunning Minx www.polyweekly.comFriday, March 30, 2012 1

@cunningminx WHY. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 2

@cunningminx WHY. STRATEGIZE PRESENCE FOR DATING Make the best impression to maximize your hookup potential. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 2

@cunningminx WHY. STRATEGIZE PRESENCE FOR DATING Make the best impression to maximize your hookup potential. FOR REPUTATION Even if you’re not dating, be aware of community expectations and how you are coming across.Friday, March 30, 2012 2

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 3

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. complete proﬁle Complete your proﬁle before hitting on anyone. It’s like washing your hair and putting on pants before you leave the house.Friday, March 30, 2012 3

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. NOT YOUR COCK NOT YOUR GF NOT ANIME NOT STUFF YOU A cock shot as profile No matter how hot your No matter how much LIKE photo tells that your girlfriend/wife is, you like anime, visitors We love objectification, cock is all you have to visitors come to your come to your profile to but visitors come to your offer. profile to meet YOU. see YOU. profile to meet YOU. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 4

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Profile photo: looks like YOU NOT YOUR COCK NOT YOUR GF NOT ANIME NOT STUFF YOU A cock shot as profile No matter how hot your No matter how much LIKE photo tells that your girlfriend/wife is, you like anime, visitors We love objectification, cock is all you have to visitors come to your come to your profile to but visitors come to your offer. profile to meet YOU. see YOU. profile to meet YOU.Friday, March 30, 2012 4

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Proﬁle photo HEADSHOT Your proﬁle shot should show you at your best: crazy, fun, sexy, geeky, pensive. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 5

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Profile photo HEADSHOT Your profile shot should show you at your best: crazy, fun, sexy, geeky, pensive. FIRST IMPRESSION Your profile shot should show at a glance who you are and how you interact with people. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 5

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Profile photo Photo courtesy Mollena HEADSHOT Your profile shot should show you at your best: crazy, fun, sexy, geeky, pensive. FIRST IMPRESSION Your profile shot should show at a glance who you are and how you interact with people. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 5

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Profile photo HEADSHOT Your profile shot should show you at your best: crazy, fun, sexy, geeky, pensive. FIRST IMPRESSION Your profile shot should show at a glance who you are and how you interact with people.Friday, March 30, 2012 5

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Profile photo HEADSHOT Your profile shot should show you at your best: crazy, fun, sexy, geeky, pensive. FIRST IMPRESSION Your profile shot should show at a glance who you are and how you interact with people. Photo courtesy Anita WagnerFriday, March 30, 2012 5

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Photo gallery DO SHOW Primarily you and your work. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 6

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Photo gallery DO SHOW Primarily you and your work. DO NOT SHOW Cheesy snapshots of the last 20 girls you beat or who sucked your cock.Friday, March 30, 2012 6

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. PRETTY ROPE TOYS YOU MADE SCENES WORK Here’s cool shit that I Here’s how I spend my Here’s what I love to do! made! time! Beauty shots of scenes that convey a strong emotion. Photo courtesy Ralinad Photo courtesy Ralinad summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 7

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. Photo gallery: DO show PRETTY ROPE TOYS YOU MADE SCENES WORK Here’s cool shit that I Here’s how I spend my Here’s what I love to do! made! time! Beauty shots of scenes that convey a strong emotion. Photo courtesy Ralinad Photo courtesy RalinadFriday, March 30, 2012 7

@cunningminx TELL ME WHO YOU ARE. List your fetishes LIST YOUR FETISHES It’s polite to list out your fetishes in the fetish section for easy scanning.Friday, March 30, 2012 8

@cunningminx PAY ATTENTION. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 9

@cunningminx PAY ATTENTION. Do your homework READ THOROUGHLY Read a user’s proﬁle thoroughly before approaching him/her. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 9

@cunningminx PAY ATTENTION. Do your homework READ THOROUGHLY Read a user’s proﬁle thoroughly before approaching him/her. DISLIKES Check for contraindications. Use third-grade reading skills.Friday, March 30, 2012 9

@cunningminx PAY ATTENTION. Do your homework READ THOROUGHLY Not seeking new partners right now Read a user’s proﬁle thoroughly before approaching him/her. DISLIKES Check for contraindications. Use third-grade reading skills.Friday, March 30, 2012 9

@cunningminx PAY ATTENTION. Do your homework READ THOROUGHLY Not seeking new partners right now Read a user’s proﬁle thoroughly before approaching him/her. DISLIKES Check for contraindications. Use third-grade reading skills. www.practicalpolyamory.comFriday, March 30, 2012 9

@cunningminx PAY ATTENTION. Do your homework READ THOROUGHLY Not seeking new partners right now Read a user’s proﬁle thoroughly before approaching him/her. DISLIKES Check for contraindications. Use third-grade reading skills. www.practicalpolyamory.com Conversation starter: True Blood, Dexter, Grey’s AnatomyFriday, March 30, 2012 9

@cunningminx PAYATTENTION. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 10

@cunningminx PAYATTENTION. Start a conversation summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 10

@cunningminx PAYATTENTION. Start a conversation STATEMENT Make a statement or observation based on the user’s proﬁle. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 10

@cunningminx PAYATTENTION. Start a conversation STATEMENT Make a statement or observation based on the user’s proﬁle. DISCLOSURE Reveal something personal about yourself based on the user’s proﬁle. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 10

@cunningminx PAYATTENTION. Start a conversation STATEMENT Make a statement or observation based on the user’s proﬁle. DISCLOSURE Reveal something personal about yourself based on the user’s proﬁle. INVITATION Ask to chat, coffee, scene (if not contraindicated).Friday, March 30, 2012 10

@cunningminx PAYATTENTION. Start a conversation Hey, Dexter is cool. serial killers are STATEMENT awesome, especially when they are Make a statement or observation based on the user’s proﬁle. working for good. DISCLOSURE Reveal something personal about yourself based on the user’s proﬁle. INVITATION Ask to chat, coffee, scene (if not contraindicated).Friday, March 30, 2012 10

@cunningminx PAYATTENTION. Start a conversation Hey, Dexter is cool. serial killers are STATEMENT awesome, especially when they are Make a statement or observation based on the user’s proﬁle. working for good. DISCLOSURE Reveal something personal about yourself I’m not a serial killer, but I’d like to play based on the user’s proﬁle. one on TV. INVITATION Ask to chat, coffee, scene (if not contraindicated).Friday, March 30, 2012 10

@cunningminx PAYATTENTION. Start a conversation Hey, Dexter is cool. serial killers are STATEMENT awesome, especially when they are Make a statement or observation based on the user’s proﬁle. working for good. DISCLOSURE Reveal something personal about yourself I’m not a serial killer, but I’d like to play based on the user’s proﬁle. one on TV. INVITATION Ask to chat, coffee, scene (if not I’m not looking for a partner, and I see contraindicated). you’re not, either. Want to platonically geek out about Dexter over coffee some time?Friday, March 30, 2012 10

@cunningminx BE CIVIL. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 11

@cunningminx BE CIVIL. Don’t be a jerk #1 COMPLAINT Users who approach you as confrontational and aggressive, as if the message were a scene. Aggression from a stranger isn’t safe, sane or sexy. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 11

@cunningminx BE CIVIL. Don’t be a jerk YOU WILL COME TO MY HOUSE AND KNEEL #1 COMPLAINT BEFORE ME. YOU WILL NOT WEAR ANY Users who approach you as confrontational and aggressive, as if the message were a scene. PANTIES. I’M SO AMAZING THAT YOU WILL Aggression from a stranger isn’t safe, sane or CUM ALL NIGHT. I’M TOTALLY FAMOUS FOR sexy. MAKING SUBS CUM ON COMMAND. I WILL MAKE YOU DO THAT, TOO. I WILL CHANGE BE YOURSELF Be your own considerate sadistic or masochistic YOUR LIFE. I’M SO AWESOME. self. Just because a user posts naked photos doesn’t mean all rules of politeness go out the BY THE WAY, MY NAME IS BOB. window. Statement - disclosure - invitationFriday, March 30, 2012 11

@cunningminx DON’T BEDOUCHY. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 12

@cunningminx DON’T BEDOUCHY. YOU’RE NOT MY TOP YET Don’t address users in all caps for the ﬁrst meeting. You DOMMING wouldn’t shout at someone IRL, would you?Friday, March 30, 2012 12

@cunningminx DON’T BEDOUCHY. YOU’RE NOT MY TOP YET Don’t address users in all caps for the first meeting. You DOMMING wouldn’t shout at someone IRL, would you? + Don’t find fault or PICKING pick a a fight in the FIGHTS first message. It’s not a scene yet.Friday, March 30, 2012 12

@cunningminx DON’T BEDOUCHY. YOU’RE NOT MY TOP YET Don’t address users in all caps for the first meeting. You DOMMING wouldn’t shout at someone IRL, would you? Only the most clueless + = DOUCHY n00bs fall for this shit. Just be your considerate, masochistic or sadistic self. Don’t find fault or PICKING pick a a fight in the FIGHTS first message. It’s not a scene yet.Friday, March 30, 2012 12

@cunningminx PARTICIPATE. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 13

@cunningminx PARTICIPATE. Let your freak ﬂag ﬂy summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 13

@cunningminx PARTICIPATE. Let your freak ﬂag ﬂy SHOW YOUR ACTIVITY Show you’re an active member of the local scene, not just some douchebag online. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 13

@cunningminx PARTICIPATE. Let your freak ﬂag ﬂy SHOW YOUR ACTIVITY Show you’re an active member of the local scene, not just some douchebag online. JOIN GROUPS Join, follow and participate in group discussions in your area of interest. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 13

@cunningminx PARTICIPATE. Let your freak ﬂag ﬂy SHOW YOUR ACTIVITY Show you’re an active member of the local scene, not just some douchebag online. JOIN GROUPS Join, follow and participate in group discussions in your area of interest. RSVP FOR EVENTS Post your event activities online so that users may see you’re active in the local community.Friday, March 30, 2012 13

@cunningminx BONUS. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 14

@cunningminx BONUS. BONUS ADVICE summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 14

@cunningminx BONUS. BONUS ADVICE don’t play the numbers summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 14

@cunningminx BONUS. BONUS ADVICE + don’t play bring up a the detail in 1st numbers message summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 14

@cunningminx BONUS. BONUS ADVICE be + + don’t play bring up a confident, the detail in 1st literate, numbers message appealing, politeFriday, March 30, 2012 14

@cunningminx BONUS. BONUS ADVICE be + + + don’t play bring up a confident, demonstrate the detail in 1st literate, your depth numbers message appealing, politeFriday, March 30, 2012 14

@cunningminx BONUS. BONUS ADVICE be + + + don’t play bring up a confident, demonstrate the detail in 1st literate, your depth numbers message appealing, polite Be the interesting personFriday, March 30, 2012 14

@cunningminx BONUS. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 15

@cunningminx BONUS. Training message BE THE CHANGE Some users are new and too excited about community to see how they are coming across. Do training messages to guide their behavior.Friday, March 30, 2012 15

@cunningminx BONUS. Training message Hey, there. Do you mind a little bluntness? I dont have a lot of time to spend on this site; I go out to kink events once a week BE THE CHANGE and meet people IRL. The thing is that your profile doesnt offer much information-- minimal pix (but thank you for the face), no kinks listed, and only a sentence or two Some users are new and too excited about about you. I hope you dont mind my being blunt, but I work 50 hours a week at a startup, 10 hours a week on the podcast, and the rest on workouts, public speaking community to see how they are coming across. engagements and dating. Do training messages to guide their behavior. Your profile doesnt give me any information about who you are or what you want; in short, it makes me work too hard to get to know you, and I need for that part to be a little easier. I dont have time to track down who you are if you cant give me more information up front. Apologize for the bluntness and hope its taken as advice rather than rudeness. My advice would be to monitor conversations and groups here for a bit until you can offer a more complete profile. MinxFriday, March 30, 2012 15

@cunningminx YOURTURN. summary START WHO PAY BE PARTICIPATE BONUS PROFILE Why are you attention civil advice reviewFriday, March 30, 2012 16

@cunningminx Q&A YOURTURN. PROFILE REVIEWFriday, March 30, 2012 16

@cunningminx followMINX.Friday, March 30, 2012 17

@cunningminx followMINX. social links FACEBOOK GOOGLE+ WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/cunningminx WWW.GPLUS.TO/CUNNINGMINX TWITTER SLIDESHARE WWW.TWITTER.COM/cunningminx WWW.SLIDESHARE.NET/cunningminx BLOG TWITTER WWW.POLYWEEKLY.COM WWW.TWITTER.COM/polyweeklyFriday, March 30, 2012 17

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How not to be a douche on FetLife

by Minx M

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How not to be a douche on FetLife Presentation Transcript