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Poly Dating 101

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From Debauchery 2014: How to date when you're poly? Advice on where to find poly folks and how to be the best YOU you can be for the best dating results!

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Poly Dating 101

  1. 1. Poly Dating 101 Tips and Tricks for Poly Dating
  2. 2. Where? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  3. 3. Where? Hmmm... Hot Bi Babe seeks couple @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  4. 4. Where? Wherever you are doing what you love @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  5. 5. Where? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  6. 6. Where? • OK Cupid @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  7. 7. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  8. 8. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  9. 9. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  10. 10. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  11. 11. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions • Burning Man @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  12. 12. Where? • OK Cupid • FetLife • Pagan events • Renaissance Faires • Gaming/sci-fi conventions • Burning Man • Bisexuality events @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  13. 13. Know thyself @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  14. 14. Know thyself @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  15. 15. Your user manual @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  16. 16. Your user manual @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com Tab A goes into Slot B? http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  17. 17. User Manual: Part A Family history • Parents: relationship/major events! • Siblings: relationships/major events! • What are your basic traits?! • What is your baggage?! • What do you value in life? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  18. 18. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  19. 19. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally • Included! • Supported! • Opened up to! • Understood I need to feel... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  20. 20. User Manual: Part B How you work emotionally • Included! • Supported! • Opened up to! • Understood I need to feel... Here, let me help @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  21. 21. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  22. 22. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually What a lovely pattern! I hope he puts these in my butt! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  23. 23. User Manual: Part C How you work sexually • What makes you giggle/feel weak?! • Which touches turn you on?! • What gestures are especially meaningful?! • What is a special date for you? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  24. 24. User Manual: Part D What is sex? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  25. 25. User Manual: Part D What is sex? We’re having sex right now! Wait... what?! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  26. 26. User Manual: Part D What is sex? • What is your take on casual sex?! • What is sex?! • What are you into?! • Tried and true turn-ons?! • What are you willing to try?! • What are your turn-offs? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com http://polyweekly.com/eight-things-links/writing-user-manual/
  27. 27. Second to NONE! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  28. 28. Secondary’s Bill of Rights You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  29. 29. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  30. 30. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  31. 31. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  32. 32. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  33. 33. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  34. 34. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing • spend time alone with your lover You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  35. 35. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  36. 36. Secondary’s Bill of Rights • state and clarify your own needs and wants • explain what you want from the relationship • know what rules and restrictions are being placed on you (emotional and sexual) and if and when they will be lifted • state and clarify your own needs and wants • expect regular STD testing • spend time alone with your lover • spend time with your metamour • spend time together with both partners You have the right to... @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  37. 37. Your responsibilities • State what you want/need! • Own your shit! • Negotiate guidelines! • Ask about your metamours! • Ask about STD testing and current forms of protection! • Check in regularly! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  38. 38. Your responsibilities • State what you want/need! • Own your shit! • Negotiate guidelines! • Ask about your metamours! • Ask about STD testing and current forms of protection! • Check in regularly! Did you remember to get tested? @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  39. 39. How to date a couple @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  40. 40. How to date a couple No, dear, tonight we find a Hot Bi Babe! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  41. 41. What to do when they’re fighting @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  42. 42. Warning signs • “She’s OK with it”! • Comparisons! • “She doesn’t understand that”! • Life-changing decisions during NRE! @cunningminx www.polyweekly.com
  43. 43. Poly Dating 101 Tips and Tricks for Poly Dating

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