1. Let’s Make it “Facebook
Official”
Developing a Successful
Romantic Relationship
Online
Lisa Torres
COM-451
October 30th, 2015
Professor Danaher
2. Ethical Issue: Behaviors (Betrayal, etc.)
• According to Merkle and Richardson, betrayal is defined as, “a violation of the trust or
expectations on which a relationship is based” (Merkle & Richardson, 2000, pg. 190).
• Can be viewed as the “umbrella” for other ethical issues (i.e. manipulation, etc.)
• Far easier to perform with the advancement of technology
• According to Ben-Ze’ev, “betrayal strikes a devastating blow to our self-image as it shows
how little our partner cares for us; it also shows our partner’s willingness to deceive us”
(Ben-Ze’ev, 2004, p. 206).
3. Online
• Behaviors easier to perform
• Category-based
• Non-verbal cues harder to identify
• Expansion of social media networks and its door to cheating, etc.
• Less intimacy
4. In Person (Interpersonal)
• Increased face-to-face interaction (verbal and non-verbal)
• Not category-based
• Distorted cognitions less severe
• Validation on personal and emotional needs
5. Concepts to Understand
• Perception: active process in which we assign meaning to things or people (Stewart, 2009,
pg. 163)
• Self-Disclosure: revealing of your inner most being, views, and emotions
• Face Work: your performative self (front and back stage)
6. Application of Concepts
• Applying Perception: awareness of perceiving others and increasing perception sensitivity
• Applying Self-Disclosure: disclosing when appropriate to do so
• Applying Face Work: letting go of your “front stage”
7. Conclusion
• In conclusion, it is important to remember the concepts of perception, self-disclosure, and
face work. These concepts will help produce meaningful and authentic romantic
relationships that everyone truly desires.
• “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence,
sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than
perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”-Ann Landers
8. References
• Ben-Ze’ev, A. (2004), Love Online: Emotions on the Internet , Cambridge University Press,
Cambridge.
• Sun, K. (2010). Why Online Dating Is a Poor Way to Find Love. Retrieved from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-justice-and-responsibility-league/201007/why-
online-dating-is-poor-way-find-love
• Merkle, E. and Richardson, R. (2000), “Digital dating and virtual relating: conceptualizing
computer mediated romantic relationships”, Family Relations, Vol. 49 No. 2, pp. 187-92.
• Stewart, J. (2009). Bridges Not Walls: A Book about Interpersonal Communication (11th
Ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
• Seidman, G. (2014). Can You Really Trust the People You Meet Online? Retrieved
fromhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/close-encounters/201407/can-you-really-trust-
the-people-you-meet-online
Editor's Notes
For this presentation, my target audience is Millennials. Generation Xers and Millennials were the first to grow up with technology in their homes. No other generation racks up 18 hours of media use per day than Millennials (McCarthy, 2014). The most popular, of course, is social media such as Facebook and Twitter. Of online users, from the ages of 18-29, 87% have Facebook account and 37% have a Twitter account (Duggan, Ellison, Lampe, Lenhart, & Madden, 2015). When it comes to dating, the Millennials are redefining dating in the digital age. For Millennials it is not about just forming a connection with someone in person; rather, it is about getting to know someone through technology. Many use their cellphone or computer screen to have as a route to getting to know a person or making plans (Anatole, 2013). There is never a moment when they are not waiting or responding to a text message and questioning whether or not their relationship is “Facebook official.” Millennials are always curious of what is out there and have a fear of missing out, also known as FOMO. They are also common with not looking for commitment and would rather keep the relationship casual (Anatole, 2013).
For the occasion, I decided to go with a Communication Convention for Young Adults. Because my target audience is Millennials, I thought having a convention specifically for young adults was a good match. Many conventions have various workshops that people can go to if they want to hear about a specific topic. This specific topic is a Social Media and Romance workshop for those that want to know how to avoid the pit falls of online dating by doing it the right way. Millennials always want the opinions of others before jumping into things and a workshop or convention is a good place to do that because you can get professional insight without having everyone know that you are asking for advice and it gives them an opportunity to hear from a professional instead of peers or family members that can have biased opinions about your relationship or relationships in general. Also, Millennials tend to be very open minded to change and since they are always looking for something new, a convention that has various workshops over a wide variety of topics would be a good place to discover new things, gain new perspectives, and maybe even help create new relationships.
