Empowering Teenagers to Live a Life of Passion and Purpose: Week #3

1. Teenage Brains, CommunityEmotions
RiverLakes Choices, and Church

3. • The Bible gives us an impressive list of
teenagers who were not mixed up.
– They knew what they believed
– They were committed
– They knew their general direction in life, by
faith

4. • Young people who stand for something are
not likely to easily fall for anything.
– 1. Joseph beat sexual temptation
– 2. David showed exemplary courage in face of
danger
– 3. Josiah stood firm on ethics
– 4. Daniel demonstrated that integrity needs
not to be compromised just for a promotion.
– 5. The Disciples/Apostles, and Timothy found
the ultimate adventure in the Christian life

5. What Temptations
Do Teens Face Today?
• “No temptation has seized you except
what is common to man. And God is
faithful; He will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when
you are tempted, He will also provide a
way out so that you can stand up under
it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

6. 7 Teenage Pressure-Points
• Body Image
• Personal Identity
• Scheduling Priorities
• High Parental Expectations
• Peer Pressure and Expectations
• Teen Health
• Role Models and Heroes

11. Successful Strategies
• Offer teenagers choices
• Refuse to accept excuses and make none of
our own
• Legitimize behaviors we cannot stop
• Use a variety of ways to communicate
• Be responsible for ourselves and allow
teenagers to be responsible for themselves
• Realize their growing independence
• Start fresh each and every day
• Friends are important; Include them in family
• Mentor beyond our mistakes

13. Wrestling With Right and Wrong
• One of the more difficult things
about making choices is to distinguish
between several factors "before"
making the choices . . .

14. IMPULSIVITY
– First, what level of impulsivity is in
operation at the height of the decision to
be made.
• Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be
hasty in your heart to utter anything before
God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so
let your words be few.

15. • An impulsive vow is a trap; later you'll wish
you could get out of it. After careful
scrutiny, a wise leader makes a clean sweep
of rebels and dolts. God is in charge of
human life, watching and examining us
inside and out. Love and truth form a good
leader; sound leadership is founded on
loving integrity. Youth may be admired for
vigor, but gray hair gives prestige to old
age. (The Message)

16. MOTIVATION
– Second, what is motivating force behind
making the decisions.
• John 16:33
• Philippians 2:13
• Deuteronomy 31:6
• Colossians 3:23
• Philippians 4:13
• Psalm 37:23-24
• Ephesians 2:10

17. CONSEQUENCES
• Third, what are the consequences—if any—
associated with the choice, in terms of
outcomes.
• Galatians 6:7-8
• 1 Corinthians 6:16-17

26. • Choices are made for many basic reasons.
• Fun, frolic, faith, flesh, fibs . . .
• One thing we cannot push aside is the
reality that all choices have costs.
• When it comes to teenagers, this is a
critical element upon which to center.

28. What is Motivation?
• MOTIVATION is usually defined as:
– “ . . . an internal state that arouses, directs,
and maintains behavior.”

29. The Battle
• Ephesians 6:12ff
• Romans 7:15-25

30. Motivating Teenagers
as Christians
• Recently, there has been a lot of focus
on “emotional intelligence.”
• The major implications for parents, in
terms of emotional intelligence research
are:
– Intrinsic Motivation
– Impulse Control
– Empathy
– Social Competence

31. Intrinsic Motivation
• Intrinsic motivation “emerges out of an
environment that encourages the
discovery and exploration of personal
interests and abilities” (Sylwester
2003).
• Just do it?
– Even if you don’t feel like it?

32. Is There a Strong Desire
to Succeed?
• Internal Motivation Can be Stimulated . . .
• We can do this by focusing daily on:
– Finding ways to produce relevance to the
family, whether blended, or single-parent.
– Helping teenagers see how their existence fits
into their world and the larger context of the
world of others.
– Discuss, “Who we are in Christ and what is our
place in the larger context of the Christian
faith?”

33. Who Are We in Christ?
• In Christ
– We are a new creation
• Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new
creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2
Corinthians 5:17)
– For we are God's workmanship, created in
Christ Jesus to do good works, which God
prepared in advance for us to do.
• We are created to do good works (Ephesians
2:10)

34. – We are blessed with every spiritual blessing
• Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with
every spiritual blessing in Christ. (Ephesians 1:3)

35. – We are free from condemnation
• Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those
who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

36. Contextualization
• We all have experienced the teenage
challenge questions:
– “Why do we have to do this?”
– “Why should I go to church, it is so
boring?”

38. Impulse Control
• Impulse control is something very few
teens have a handle on.
• Teenagers often act without giving
themselves any time to think through,
or reflect on their actions ahead of
time
• Teenagers simply act a lot before
thinking
• Their boredom can also be an impulse.

39. • “Teenagers have the passion and the strength
but no brakes.”
– (Jay Giedd, 2003, Neuroscientist)

40. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKT_09pA
RN4&feature=player_detailpage

41. Empathy
• Empathy is an important aspect of
emotional intelligence.

42. • Empathy allows teenagers to act in
ethical ways, and to demonstrate
altruism

43. • Parents can help by allowing teenagers to
share their thoughts, and allow their
expressions to connect with those of
others.
– Youth Programs
– Community Service organizations
– Athletics
– Families
– Missions Trips
– University overnighters at Christian colleges

44. When it Comes to Connecting . . .
• Parents can learn more by listening . . .

45. Social Competence
• Social competence is that which allows
teenagers to “read” social contexts and
respond adequately
– Many teenagers seem socially awkward,
particularly when singled out, or in
relationships with the opposite sex.
– This is why they find such identity by looking
the same as their friends look in attire, hair
style, taste in music, youthful language, etc.
– There is security in numbers!

46.  When it comes to respect, consideration of
others, and development of manners, adults
can play a large positive and negative role.
 “Manners do not come naturally but must be
taught.”
 Parents can assist in the development of
manners by allowing teenagers to work, join
groups, and debriefing afterwards.
 The same works around the dinner tables at
home, as we set aside time in our busy lives.

47. Fruit of the Spirit
• We should point out the Fruit of the
Spirit when our teens show evidence of
that, and attribute that to God.
• Galatians 5:22-23
– But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Against such things there is no law.

48. AFFECTIVE LEARNING
• Levels of the feel good transmitter
“Dopamine” generally decline during the
teen years, levels are STILL increasing
in the front parts of the brain.

49. • In an attempt to achieve
balance, Dopamine levels decrease in the
reward circuitry of the brain.
– Therefore, teenagers who are “dopamine-
depleted” in their reward circuits, might
need more stimulation and activity to get
back to the same “kick, high, or emotional
levels” as before.

50. • Impulsively they are high. But . . .
• It is true that students ARE more bored . . .
chemically.

51. • So, the question: “Why did you do that?” . . .
is best answered by their statement:
– “I don’t know.”

52. Early in Adolescence
• Teens have an abundance of synapses that
emit the “excitement-oriented”
neurotransmitter called glutamate.
– By the end of the teenage years, the ratio of
excitatory synapses to inhibitory synapses
decreases from 7-1 ratio to 4-1 ratio.
– This is one reason why most teens calm down
across the teen years.

56. Female Teen Sizing Up Other Girls

59. Capturing the Brain Lying
• "It's kind of a scary idea," said Stanford University neurobiologist
Ben A. Barres. "Right now, nobody takes lie detectors all that
seriously."
• In the study, researchers looked inside the heads of 18 fibbing test
subjects who had been asked to cheat during a standard laboratory
card game. The game, known as a "guilty knowledge test," involves
hiding a card, then denying you have it when a picture of the card is
flashed on a screen.
• Results of the experiment seemed to confirm what cops, crooks
and more than a few little kids have long known: Lying is hard
work.
• "When you tell a deliberate lie, you have to be holding in mind the
truth," said Dr. Daniel Langleben, a University of Pennsylvania
psychiatrist who led the study. "So it stands to reason it should
mean more brain activity."

60. Why Do Students Seem To Be
“Without Brakes”?
• Frontal lobes are still under construction,
and these are the areas key to impulse
control
• Growth spurts
– Ages 10-12
– Ages 14-16
– Ages 18-20

61. This Is Confirmed by
• Researchers at Radford University (William
Hudspeth) and Harvard Graduate School of
Education (Kurt Fischer) have discovered that
the teenage brain is still “wiring up” and that
there are certain growth spurts that mark this
wiring.

62. Age 15 . . .
• At around age 15, students actually begin to
“get it” and can begin to relate to abstract
things.

63. But They Are Immature

64. Emotional v. Cognitive Maturity
• Researchers now understand that there is a
major difference between emotional maturity
and cognitive maturity.

65. Emotional Intelligence (Goleman)
• The four factors that are tied to brain
development and biological maturity are:
– Intrinsic Motivation
– Impulse Control
– Empathy
– Social Competence

66. Teenage Emotions
• What we call “emotions” are actually
complex body/mind states made up of
four different, overlapping sets of
physiological and psychological
processes.
– Temperaments
– Moods
– Reactions
– Feelings

67. First Process: Temperaments
• These have a range across a continuum
– Stemming from ANXIOUS/INHIBITED
people who pull back from uncertainties,
sensing danger
– to BOLD/UNHIBITED people who
approach uncertainty and sense
“opportunity.”

68. Second Process: Moods
• Layered on top of our basic
temperaments (hours to days in length).
• These are defined as “short term
emotional response bias.” (Sylwester
2003)

69. Third Process: Emotional
Reactions
• Shorter than moods and are defined as
“unconscious physiological responses to
short-term situations.”
• Examples: facial expression, body
language tone of voice, etc.

70. Fourth Process: Feelings
• Defined as conscious representations of
our emotions.
• Feelings take place in the mind and are
almost always hidden.
• MOOD SWINGS by teenagers are REAL

71. Female Teens v. Male Teens
• Ever wonder why some teenage females
seem to have their impulses under
control earlier than some males?

72. • The frontal lobes of our brains are
those areas where impulses are
controlled.
– Scientists are telling us that the frontal
lobes are not fully developed until well past
the age of 20—and up to 25—according to
some studies.

73. Where are All the Good Ones?
• There are different degrees of biological
development for females and males, all which
have interesting implications for parents.
• This kind of puts into perspective why some
males in their early twenties are not mature
enough for females of their same age group.

74. Closing . . .

76. Romans 8:37
• But in all these things we
overwhelmingly conquer through Him
who loved us.

77. Next Week’s Topic