LITERATURE

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Footnote toYouth
Jose Garcia Villa
1The sunwas salmonandhazy inthe west.Dodongthoughtto himself he wouldtell hisfather
aboutTeang whenhe got home,afterhe hadunhitchedthe carabaofrom the plow,andletitto
itsshedand fedit.He washesitantaboutsayingit,buthe wantedhisfathertoknow.What he
had to saywas of seriousimportasitwouldmarka climactericinhislife.Dodongfinallydecided
to tell it,at a thoughtcame to himhisfathermightrefuse toconsiderit.Hisfatherwassilent
hard-workingfarmerwhochewedarecanut,whichhe hadlearnedtodo fromhismother,
Dodong'sgrandmother.
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I will tell ittohim.I will tell ittohim.
3The groundwas brokenupintomanyfreshwoundsandfragrant witha sweetishearthysmell.
Many slendersoftwormsemergedfromthe furrowsandthenburrowedagaindeeperintothe

2. soil.A short colorlesswormmarchedblindlytoDodong'sfootandcrawledcalmlyoverit.
Dodonggo tickledandjerkedhisfoot,flingingthe wormintothe air.Dodongdidnotbotherto
lookwhere itfell,butthoughtof hisage,seventeen,andhe saidto himself he wasnotyoung
any more.
4Dodong unhitchedthe carabaoleisurelyandgave ita healthytapon the hip.The beastturned
itsheadto lookat him withdumbfaithful eyes.Dodonggave itaslightpushandthe animal
walkedalongside himtoitsshed.He placedbundlesof grassbefore itlandthe carabaobegan
to eat.Dodonglookedatit withoutinterests.
5Dodong startedhomeward,thinkinghow he wouldbreakhisnewstohisfather.He wantedto
marry, Dodongdid.He was seventeen,he hadpimplesonhisface,the downonhisupperlip
alreadywasdark--these meanthe wasnolongeraboy.He was growingintoa man – he was a
man.Dodong feltinsolentandbigat the thoughtof it althoughhe wasby nature low instatue.
Thinkinghimself amangrown,Dodongfelthe coulddo anything.
6He walkedfaster,proddedbythe thoughtof hisvirility.A small angledstone bledhisfoot,but
he dismisseditcursorily.He liftedhislegandlookedatthe hurt toe and thenwentonwalking.

3. In the cool sundownhe thoughtwildyoudreamsof himself andTeang.Teang,hisgirl.She hadPage 2 of
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a small brownface and small blackeyesandstraightglossyhair.How desirable she wasto
him.She made himdreamevenduringthe day.
7Dodong tensedwithdesire andlookedatthe musclesof hisarms.Dirty.Thisfield
workwas healthy,invigoratingbutitbegrimedyou, smudgedyouterribly.He turnedbackthe
wayhe had come,thenhe marchedobliquelytoacreek.
8Dodong strippedhimselfandlaidhisclothes,agrayundershirtandredkundimanshorts,on
the grass. The he wentintothe water,wethisbodyover,and rubbedat it vigorously.He was
not longinbathing,thenhe marchedhomewardagain.The bathmade himfeel cool.
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It was duskwhenhe reachedhome.The petroleumlamponthe ceilingalreadywaslightedand
the lowunvarnishedsquare table wassetforsupper.Hisparentsandhe sat downon the floor
aroundthe table toeat.They hadfriedfresh-waterfish,rice,bananas,andcakedsugar.

4. 10Dodong ate fishandrice,but didnotpartake of the fruit.The bananas were overripe andwhen
one heldthem theyfeltmore fluidthansolid.Dodongbroke off apiece of the cakessugar,
dippeditinhisglassof waterand ate it.He got anotherpiece andwantedsome more,buthe
thoughtof leavingthe remainderforhisparents.
11Dodong's motherremovedthe disheswhentheywere throughandwentouttothe batalanto
washthem.She walkedwithslowcareful stepsandDodongwantedtohelphercarrythe dishes
out,but he was tiredandnow feltlazy.He wishedashe lookedather that he had a sisterwho
couldhelphismotherinthe housework.He pitiedher,doingall the houseworkalone.
12His fatherremainedinthe room,suckinga diseasedtooth.Itwaspaininghimagain,Dodong
knew.Dodonghadtoldhimoftenandagain to letthe towndentistpull itout,buthe wasafraid,
hisfatherwas.He didnot tell thatto Dodong,butDodong guessedit.AfterwardDodonghimself
thoughtthat if he had a decayedtoothhe wouldbe afraidto go to the dentist;he wouldnotbe
any bolderthanhisfather.
13Dodong saidwhile hismotherwasoutthat he was goingto marry Teang.There itwas out,

5. whathe had to say,and overwhichhe had done somuch thinking.He hadsaidit withoutany
effortat all andwithoutself-consciousness.DodongfeltrelievedandlookedathisfatherPage 3 of 8
expectantly.A decrescentmoonoutsidesheditsfeeble lightintothe window,grayingthe still
blacktemplesof hisfather.Hisfatherlookedoldnow.
14"I am goingto marry Teang,"Dodongsaid.
15His fatherlookedathim silentlyandstoppedsuckingthe brokentooth.The silencebecame
intense andcruel,andDodongwishedhisfatherwouldsuckthattroubloustoothagain.Dodong
was uncomfortable andthenbecame angrybecause hisfatherkeptlookingathimwithout
utteringanything.
16"I will marryTeang,"Dodongrepeated."Iwill marryTeang."
17His fatherkeptgazingat himininflexible silence andDodongfidgetedonhisseat.
18"I askedherlastnightto marry me andshe said...yes.Iwantyourpermission.I...want...it...."

6. There wasimpatientclamorinhisvoice,anexactingprotestatthiscoldness,thisindifference.
Dodonglookedathisfathersourly.He cracked hisknucklesone byone,andthe little soundsit
made broke dullythe nightstillness.
19"Must youmarry, Dodong?"
20Dodong resentedhisfather'squestions;hisfatherhimself hadmarried.Dodongmade aquick
impassionedeasyinhismindaboutselfishness,butlaterhe gotconfused.
21"You are veryyoung,Dodong."
22"I'm... seventeen."
23"That's veryyoungto getmarriedat."
24"I... I wantto marry...Teang'sa goodgirl."
25"Tell your mother,"hisfathersaid.

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26"You tell her,Tatay."
27"Dodong, youtell yourInay."
28"You tell her."
29"All right,Dodong."
30"You will letme marryTeang?"
31"Son, if that isyour wish...of course..."There wasastrange helplesslightinhisfather'seyes.
Dodongdidnot readit, soabsorbedwashe inhimself.
32Dodong was immenselygladhe hadassertedhimself.He losthisresentmentforhisfather.
For a while he evenfeltsorryforhimaboutthe diseasedtooth.Thenhe confinedhismindto
dreamingof Teangand himself.Sweetyoungdream....

8. 33Dodong stoodin the swelteringnoonheat,sweatingprofusely,sothathiscamisetawasdamp.
He wasstill asa tree and histhoughtswere confused.Hismotherhadtoldhimnotto leave the
house,buthe had left. He had wantedtogetout of itwithoutclearreasonat all.He was afraid,
he felt.Afraidof the house.Ithad seemedtocage him, tocompareshisthoughtswithsevere
tyranny.Afraidalsoof Teang.Teang wasgivingbirthinthe house;she gave screams that
chilledhisblood.He didnotwantherto scream like that,he seemedtobe rebukinghim.He
beganto wondermadlyif the processof childbirthwasreallypainful.Some women,whenthey
gave birth,didnot cry.
34In a fewmomentshe wouldbe a father."Father,father,"he whisperedthe wordwithawe,with
strangeness.He wasyoung,he realizednow,contradictinghimself of nine months
comfortable..."Yourson,"peoplewouldsoonbe tellinghim."Yourson,Dodong."
35Dodong felttiredstanding.He satdownon a saw-horse withhisfeetclose together.He looked
at hiscallusedtoes.Suppose he hadtenchildren...Whatmade himthinkthat?What wasthe
matterwithhim?God!
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9. 36He heardhismother'svoice fromthe house:
37"Come up,Dodong.It isover."
38Suddenlyhe feltterriblyembarrassedashe lookedather.Somehow he wasashamedtohis
motherof hisyouthful paternity.Itmade himfeel guilty,asif he hadtakensomethingno
properlyhis.He droppedhiseyesandpretendedtodustdirtoff hiskundimanshorts.
39"Dodong,"his mothercalledagain."Dodong."
40He turnedtolookagain andthistime saw hisfatherbeside hismother.
41"It isa boy,"his fathersaid.He beckonedDodongtocome up.
42Dodong feltmore embarrassedanddidnotmove.Whata momentforhim.Hisparents'eyes
seemedtopierce himthroughandhe feltlimp.

10. 43He wantedtohide fromthem,torun away.
44"Dodong, youcome up. You come up,"he mothersaid.
45Dodong didnot wantto come upand stayedinthe sun.
45"Dodong. Dodong."
46"I'll...come up."
47Dodong traced tremulousstepsonthe dryparchedyard.He ascendedthe bamboosteps
slowly.Hisheartpoundedmercilesslyinhim.Within,he avoidedhisparents’eyes.He walked
aheadof themsothat theyshouldnotsee hisface.He feltguiltyanduntrue.He feltlike crying.
His eyessmartedandhischestwantedtoburst.He wantedto turn back, to go back to the yard.
He wantedsomebodytopunishhim.
48His fatherthrust hishandin hisand grippeditgently.Page 6of 8

11. 49"Son," hisfathersaid.
50And hismother:"Dodong..."
51How kindwere theirvoices.Theyflowedintohim, makinghimstrong.
52"Teang?" Dodongsaid.
53"She's sleeping.Butyougo on..."
54His fatherledhimintothe small sawali room.Dodongsaw Teang,his girl-wife,asleeponthe
papag withherblackhair softaroundher face.He didnotwant herto lookthat pale.
55Dodong wantedtotouch her,to pushaway that straywispof hairthat touchedherlips,but
againthat feelingof embarrassmentcame overhimandbefore hisparentshe didnotwantto
be demonstrative.

12. 56The hilotwaswrappingthe child,Dodonghearditcry. The thinvoice piercedhimqueerly.He
couldnot control the swellingof happinessinhim.
57“You give himto me.Yougive himto me,"Dodongsaid.
58Blas was not Dodong'sonlychild.Manymore children came.Forsix successive yearsanew
childcame along.Dodongdidnot wantany more children,buttheycame.It seemedthe coming
of childrencouldnotbe helped.Dodonggotangrywithhimself sometimes.
59Teang didnot complain,butthe bearingof childrentoldonher.She wasshapelessandthin
now,evenif she wasyoung.There wasinterminable worktobe done.Cooking.Laundering.
The house.The children.She criedsometimes,wishingshe hadnotmarried.She didnottell
Dodongthis,not wishing himtodislike her.Yetshe wishedshe hadnotmarried.Noteven
Dodong,whomshe loved.There hasbeenanothersuitor,Lucio,olderthanDodongbynine
years,and thatwas whyshe had chosenDodong.YoungDodong.Seventeen.Luciohad
marriedanotherafterhermarriage to Dodong,buthe waschildlessuntil now.She wonderedif Page 7
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13. she had marriedLucio,wouldshe have borne himchildren.Maybe not,either.Thatwasa better
lot.But she lovedDodong...
60Dodong whomlife hadmade ugly.
61One night,as he laybeside hiswife,he rose andwentoutof the house.He stoodinthe
moonlight,tiredandquerulous.He wantedtoaskquestionsandsomebodytoanswerhim.He
wantedtobe wise aboutmanythings.
62One of themwas whylife didnot fulfillall of Youth'sdreams.Whyitmust be so. Whyone was
forsaken...afterLove.
63Dodong wouldnotfindthe answer.Maybe the questionwasnotto be answered.Itmustbe so
to make youthYouth.Youth mustbe dreamfullysweet.Dreamfullysweet. Dodongreturnedto
the house humiliatedbyhimself.He hadwantedtoknow a little wisdombutwasdeniedit.
64When Blaswas eighteenhe came home one nightveryflusteredandhappy.Itwas late at
nightand Teangand the otherchildrenwere asleep.DodongheardBlas'steps,forhe couldnot

14. sleepwell of nights.He watchedBlasundressinthe darkand lie downsoftly.Blaswasrestless
on hismat and couldnotsleep.Dodongcalledhimname andaskedwhyhe didnotsleep.Blas
saidhe could notsleep.
65"You bettergoto sleep.Itislate,"Dodongsaid.
66Blas raisedhimself onhiselbow andmutteredsomethinginalow flutteringvoice.
67Dodong didnot answerandtriedto sleep.
68"Itay ...,"Blas calledsoftly.
69Dodong stirredandaskedhimwhat itwas.
70"I am goingto marry Tona.She acceptedme tonight."
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71Dodong layon the red pillowwithoutmoving.

15. 72"Itay, youthinkit over."
73Dodong laysilent.
74"I love Tonaand...I wanther."
75Dodong rose from hismat andtold Blasto follow him.Theydescendedtothe yard,where
everythingwasstill andquiet.The moonlightwascoldandwhite.
76"You wantto marry Tona," Dodongsaid.He didnot want Blasto marry yet.Blaswas very
young.The life thatwouldfollow marriage wouldbe hard...
77"Yes."
78"Must youmarry?"
79Blas' voice stilledwithresentment."Iwill marryTona."

16. 80Dodong keptsilent,hurt.
81"You have objections,Itay?"Blasaskedacridly.
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"Son...n-none..."(Buttruly,God,Idon't wantBlas to marry yet...notyet.I don'twant Blasto
marry yet....)
83But he was helpless.He couldnotdoanything.Youthmusttriumph...now.Love must
triumph...now.Afterwards...itwill be life.
84As longago Youth and Love didtriumphforDodong...andthenLife.Dodonglookedwistfully
at hisyoungson inthe moonlight.He feltextremelysadandsorryfor him.