The document is a talk given by President Thomas S. Monson to members of the priesthood. In 3 sentences: President Monson counsels members of the priesthood to choose to refrain from anger, as anger is destructive and not of God. He tells the story of a couple whose marriage was destroyed by anger, which caused the husband to injure their child during an argument. President Monson testifies that with choice, it is possible to not become angry and instead have the Spirit, encouraging the priesthood holders to make that choice.

1. School Thy Feelings,
O My Brother
P R E S I D E N T T H O M A S S. M O N S O N
If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we
must choose to refrain from becoming angry.
baby’s crying had so infuriated him
that he had broken one of the child’s
limbs and several ribs. Alarming was
the report of growing gang violence,
with the number of gang-related
killings having risen sharply. Another
story that night involved the shooting
of a woman by her estranged hus-
band, who was reportedly in a jealous
rage after finding her with another
man. Then, of course, there was the
usual coverage of wars and conflicts
throughout the world.
I thought of the words of the
Psalmist: “Cease from anger, and
forsake wrath.”1
Many years ago, a young couple
B
rethren, we are assembled as a called my office and asked if they
mighty body of the priesthood, could come in for counseling. They
both here in the Conference indicated they had suffered a tragedy
Center and in locations throughout in their lives and that their marriage
the world. We have heard inspired was in serious jeopardy. An appoint-
messages this evening, and I express ment was arranged.
my appreciation to those Brethren The tension between this husband
who have addressed us. I am hon- and wife was apparent as they entered
ored, yet humbled, by the privilege to my office. Their story unfolded slowly
speak to you, and I pray that the inspi- at first as the husband spoke haltingly
ration of the Lord may attend me. and the wife cried quietly and partici-
Recently as I watched the news on pated very little in the conversation.
television, I realized that many of the The young man had returned from
lead stories were similar in nature in serving a mission and was accepted to
that the tragedies reported all basi- a prestigious university in the eastern
cally traced back to one emotion: part of the United States. It was there,
anger. The father of an infant had in a university ward, that he had met
been arrested for physical abuse of his future wife. She was also a student
the baby. It was alleged that the at the university. After a year of dating,
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2. they journeyed to Utah and were mar- they made the decision to remain work which he said was 10 times more
ried in the Salt Lake Temple, return- together, comforted and blessed by difficult, involving 10 times more labor
ing east shortly afterward to finish the gospel of Jesus Christ. and a great deal more time. This sec-
their schooling. I think of them whenever I read ond man sent him a check for $150.
By the time they graduated and the words: “Anger doesn’t solve any- Young Heber felt he had been treated
returned to their home state, they thing. It builds nothing, but it can most unfairly. He was at first insulted
were expecting their first child and destroy everything.”2 and then incensed.
the husband had employment in his We’ve all felt anger. It can come He recounted the experience to an
chosen field. The wife gave birth to a when things don’t turn out the way older friend, who asked, “Did that
baby boy. Life was good. we want. It might be a reaction to man intend to insult you?”
When their son was about 18 something which is said of us or to us. President Grant replied, “No. He
months old, they decided to take a We may experience it when people told my friends he had rewarded me
short vacation to visit family members don’t behave the way we want them handsomely.”
who lived a few hundred miles away. to behave. Perhaps it comes when we To this the older friend replied, “A
This was at a time when car seats for have to wait for something longer man’s a fool who takes an insult that
children and seat belts for adults were than we expected. We might feel angry isn’t intended.”3
scarcely heard of, let alone used. The when others can’t see things from our The Apostle Paul asks in Ephesians,
three members of the family all rode perspective. There seem to be count- chapter 4, verse 26 of the Joseph
in the front seat with the toddler in less possible reasons for anger. Smith Translation: “Can ye be angry,
the middle. There are times when we can and not sin? let not the sun go down
Sometime during the trip, the hus- become upset at imagined hurts or upon your wrath.” I ask, is it possible
band and wife had a disagreement. perceived injustices. President Heber J. to feel the Spirit of our Heavenly
After all these years, I cannot recall Grant, seventh President of the Father when we are angry? I know
what caused it. But I do remember Church, told of a time as a young adult of no instance where such would be
that their argument escalated and when he did some work for a man who the case.
became so heated that they were then sent him a check for $500 with a From 3 Nephi in the Book of
eventually yelling at one another. letter apologizing for not being able to Mormon, we read:
Understandably, this caused their pay him more. Then President Grant “There shall be no disputations
young son to begin crying, which did some work for another man— among you. . . .
the husband said only added to his
anger. Losing total control of his tem-
per, he picked up a toy the child had
dropped on the seat and flung it in
the direction of his wife.
He missed hitting his wife. Instead,
the toy struck their son, with the
result that he was brain damaged and
would be handicapped for the rest of
his life.
This was one of the most tragic
situations I had ever encountered. I
counseled and encouraged them. We
talked of commitment and responsi-
bility, of acceptance and forgiveness.
We spoke of the affection and respect
which needed to return to their fam-
ily. We read words of comfort from
the scriptures. We prayed together.
Though I have not heard from them
since that day so long ago, they were
smiling through their tears as they left
my office. All these years I’ve hoped
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3. went before a magistrate and swore
that the Mormons were hostile
toward the state of Missouri. His affi-
davit led to—or at least was a factor
in—Governor Lilburn Boggs’s cruel
extermination order, which resulted
in over 15,000 Saints being driven
from their homes, with all the terrible
suffering and consequent death that
followed. All of this occurred because
of a disagreement over the exchange
of milk and cream.5
After 19 years of rancor and loss,
Thomas B. Marsh made his way to the
Salt Lake Valley and asked President
Brigham Young for forgiveness.
“For verily, verily I say unto you, he called the strippings, but that the Brother Marsh also wrote to Heber C.
that hath the spirit of contention is milk and strippings should all go Kimball, First Counselor in the First
not of me, but is of the devil, who is together. Strippings came at the end Presidency, of the lesson he had
the father of contention, and he stir- of the milking and were richer in learned. Said Brother Marsh: “The
reth up the hearts of men to contend cream. Lord could get along very well with-
with anger, one with another. Sister Harris was faithful to the out me and He . . . lost nothing by my
“Behold, this is not my doctrine, to agreement, but Sister Marsh, desiring falling out of the ranks; But O what
stir up the hearts of men with anger, to make some especially delicious have I lost?! Riches, greater riches
one against another; but this is my cheese, saved a pint of strippings than all this world or many planets
doctrine, that such things should be from each cow and sent Sister Harris like this could afford.”6
done away.”4 the milk without the strippings. This Apropos are the words of the poet
To be angry is to yield to the influ- caused the two women to quarrel. John Greenleaf Whittier: “Of all sad
ence of Satan. No one can make us When they could not settle their dif- words of tongue or pen, the saddest
angry. It is our choice. If we desire ferences, the matter was referred to are these: ‘It might have been!’ ”7
to have a proper spirit with us at all the home teachers to settle. They My brethren, we are all suscepti-
times, we must choose to refrain from found Elizabeth Marsh guilty of failure ble to those feelings which, if left
becoming angry. I testify that such is to keep her agreement. She and her unchecked, can lead to anger. We
possible. husband were upset with the deci- experience displeasure or irritation
Anger, Satan’s tool, is destructive sion, and the matter was then or antagonism, and if we so choose,
in so many ways. referred to the bishop for a Church we lose our temper and become
I believe most of us are familiar trial. The bishop’s court decided that angry with others. Ironically, those
with the sad account of Thomas B. the strippings were wrongfully saved others are often members of our
Marsh and his wife, Elizabeth. Brother and that Sister Marsh had violated her own families—the people we really
Marsh was one of the first modern- covenant with Sister Harris. love the most.
day Apostles called after the Church Thomas Marsh appealed to the Many years ago I read the following
was restored to the earth. He eventu- high council, and the men comprising Associated Press dispatch which
ally became President of the Quorum this council confirmed the bishop’s appeared in the newspaper: An el-
of the Twelve Apostles. decision. He then appealed to the derly man disclosed at the funeral
While the Saints were in Far West, First Presidency of the Church. of his brother, with whom he had
Missouri, Elizabeth Marsh, Thomas’s Joseph Smith and his counselors con- shared, from early manhood, a small,
wife, and her friend Sister Harris sidered the case and upheld the deci- one-room cabin near Canisteo, New
decided they would exchange milk sion of the high council. York, that following a quarrel, they
in order to make more cheese than Elder Thomas B. Marsh, who had divided the room in half with a
they otherwise could. To be certain sided with his wife through all of this, chalk line, and neither had crossed
all was done fairly, they agreed that became angrier with each successive the line or spoken a word to the
they should not save what were decision—so angry, in fact, that he other since that day—62 years before.
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4. Just think of the consequence of that Priesthood, it is a pronouncement we ever be exemplary in our homes
anger. What a tragedy! concerning future duty and responsi- and faithful in keeping all of the com-
May we make a conscious decision, bility, that you may prepare yourselves mandments, that we may harbor no
each time such a decision must be here and now. animosity toward any man but rather
made, to refrain from anger and to This oath and covenant is set forth be peacemakers, ever remembering
leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful by the Lord in these words: the Savior’s admonition, “By this shall
things we may be tempted to say. “For whoso is faithful unto the all men know that ye are my disci-
I love the words of the hymn writ- obtaining these two priesthoods of ples, if ye have love one to another.”10
ten by Elder Charles W Penrose, who
. which I have spoken, and the magni- This is my plea tonight at the conclu-
served in the Quorum of the Twelve fying their calling, are sanctified by sion of this great priesthood meeting,
and in the First Presidency during the the Spirit unto the renewing of their and it’s also my humble and sincere
early years of the 20th century: bodies. prayer, for I love you, brethren, with
“They become the sons of Moses all my heart and soul. And I pray our
School thy feelings, O my brother; and of Aaron and the seed of Heavenly Father’s blessing to attend
Train thy warm, impulsive soul. Abraham, and the church and king- each of you in your life, in your
Do not its emotions smother, dom, and the elect of God. home, in your heart, in your soul, in
But let wisdom’s voice control. “And also all they who receive this the name of Jesus Christ, amen. ■
School thy feelings; there is power priesthood receive me, saith the Lord;
NOTES
In the cool, collected mind. “For he that receiveth my servants 1. Psalm 37:8.
Passion shatters reason’s tower, receiveth me; 2. Lawrence Douglas Wilder, quoted in “Early
Makes the clearest vision blind.8 “And he that receiveth me receiveth Hardships Shaped Candidates,” Deseret
News, Dec. 7, 1991, A2.
my Father; 3. See Heber J. Grant, Gospel Standards,
Each of us is a holder of the priest- “And he that receiveth my Father comp. G. Homer Durham (1969), 288–89.
4. 3 Nephi 11:28–30.
hood of God. The oath and covenant receiveth my Father’s kingdom; 5. See George A. Smith, “Discourse,” Deseret
of the priesthood pertains to all of us. therefore all that my Father hath shall News, Apr. 16, 1856, 44.
To those who hold the Melchizedek be given unto him.”9 6. Thomas B. Marsh to Heber C. Kimball,
May 5, 1857, Brigham Young Collection,
Priesthood, it is a declaration of Brethren, great promises await us Church History Library.
our requirement to be faithful and if we are true and faithful to the oath 7. “Maud Muller,” The Complete Poetical Works
obedient to the laws of God and to and covenant of this precious priest- of John Greenleaf Whittier (1876), 206.
8. “School Thy Feelings,” Hymns, no. 336.
magnify the callings which come to hood which we hold. May we be wor- 9. D&C 84:33–38.
us. To those who hold the Aaronic thy sons of our Heavenly Father. May 10. John 13:35.
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