Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life.

1. to criticize. Thus the commandment:
By President Thomas S. Monson “Judge not.”
Forty-seven years ago this gen-
Charity Never Faileth
eral conference, I was called to the
Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. At
the time, I had been serving on one
of the general priesthood commit-
tees of the Church, and so before
my name was presented, I sat with
Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may my fellow members of that priest-
we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this hood committee, as was expected
journey through life. of me. My wife, however, had no
idea where to go and no one with
whom she could sit and, in fact, was
unable to find a seat anywhere in the
O
Tabernacle. A dear friend of ours,
ur souls have rejoiced tonight John replied, “Well, dear, I have the who was a member of one of the
and reached toward heaven. answer for you. You’ll be interested to general auxiliary boards and who was
We have been blessed with know that I got up early this morning sitting in the area designated for the
beautiful music and inspired mes- and washed our windows!” board members, asked Sister Monson
sages. The Spirit of the Lord is here. I Tonight I’d like to share with you to sit with her. This woman knew
pray for His inspiration to be with me a few thoughts concerning how we nothing of my call—which would be
now as I share with you some of my view each other. Are we looking announced shortly—but she spotted
thoughts and feelings. through a window which needs clean- Sister Monson, recognized her con-
I begin with a short anecdote ing? Are we making judgments when sternation, and graciously offered her
which illustrates a point I should like we don’t have all the facts? What do a seat. My dear wife was relieved and
to make. we see when we look at others? What grateful for this kind gesture. Sitting
A young couple, Lisa and John, judgments do we make about them? down, however, she heard loud whis-
moved into a new neighborhood. Said the Savior, “Judge not.” 1 He pering behind her as one of the board
One morning while they were eating continued, “Why beholdest thou the members expressed her annoyance
breakfast, Lisa looked out the window mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but to those around her that one of her
and watched her next-door neighbor considerest not the beam that is in fellow board members would have
hanging out her wash. thine own eye?” 2 Or, to paraphrase, the audacity to invite an “outsider”
“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa why beholdest thou what you think is to sit in this area reserved only for
exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t dirty laundry at your neighbor’s house them. There was no excuse for her
know how to get clothes clean!” but considerest not the soiled window unkind behavior, regardless of who
John looked on but remained in your own house? might have been invited to sit there.
silent. None of us is perfect. I know of no However, I can only imagine how
Every time her neighbor would one who would profess to be so. And that woman felt when she learned
hang her wash to dry, Lisa would yet for some reason, despite our own that the “intruder” was the wife of
make the same comments. imperfections, we have a tendency to the newest Apostle.
A few weeks later Lisa was sur- point out those of others. We make Not only are we inclined to judge
prised to glance out her window and judgments concerning their actions the actions and words of others, but
see a nice, clean wash hanging in or inactions. many of us judge appearances: cloth-
her neighbor’s yard. She said to her There is really no way we can ing, hairstyles, size. The list could go
husband, “Look, John—she’s finally know the heart, the intentions, or the on and on.
learned how to wash correctly! I circumstances of someone who might A classic account of judging by
wonder how she did it.” say or do something we find reason appearance was printed in a national
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2. magazine many years ago. It is a true linens were neatly folded and he was friend’s flowers, she noticed a beautiful
account—one which you may have out on the porch. He refused break- golden chrysanthemum but was puz-
heard but which bears repeating. fast, but just before he left for his bus, zled that it was growing in a dented,
A woman by the name of Mary he asked if he could return the next old, rusty bucket. Her friend explained,
Bartels had a home directly across the time he had a treatment. “I won’t put “I ran short of pots, and knowing how
street from the entrance to a hospital you out a bit,” he promised. “I can beautiful this one would be, I thought it
clinic. Her family lived on the main sleep fine in a chair.” Mary assured wouldn’t mind starting in this old pail.
floor and rented the upstairs rooms to him he was welcome to come again. It’s just for a little while, until I can put
outpatients at the clinic. In the several years he went for it out in the garden.”
One evening a truly awful-looking treatments and stayed in Mary’s home, Mary smiled as she imagined just
old man came to the door asking if the old man, who was a fisherman such a scene in heaven. “Here’s an
there was room for him to stay the by trade, always had gifts of seafood especially beautiful one,” God might
night. He was stooped and shriv- or vegetables from his garden. Other have said when He came to the soul of
eled, and his face was lopsided from times he sent packages in the mail. the little old man. “He won’t mind start-
swelling—red and raw. He said he’d When Mary received these thought- ing in this small, misshapen body.” But
been hunting for a room since noon ful gifts, she often thought of a com- that was long ago, and in God’s garden
but with no success. “I guess it’s my ment her next-door neighbor made how tall this lovely soul must stand! 3
face,” he said. “I know it looks terrible, after the disfigured, stooped old man Appearances can be so deceiving,
but my doctor says it could possibly had left Mary’s home that first morn- such a poor measure of a person.
improve after more treatments.” He ing. “Did you keep that awful-looking Admonished the Savior, “Judge not
indicated he’d be happy to sleep in man last night? I turned him away. according to the appearance.” 4
the rocking chair on the porch. As she You can lose customers by putting up A member of a women’s organiza-
talked with him, Mary realized this such people.” tion once complained when a certain
little old man had an oversized heart Mary knew that maybe they had woman was selected to represent
crowded into that tiny body. Although lost customers once or twice, but she the organization. She had never
her rooms were filled, she told him to thought, “Oh, if only they could have met the woman, but she had seen
wait in the chair and she’d find him a known him, perhaps their illnesses a photograph of her and didn’t like
place to sleep. would have been easier to bear.” what she saw, considering her to be
At bedtime Mary’s husband set After the man passed away, Mary overweight. She commented, “Of the
up a camp cot for the man. When was visiting with a friend who had thousands of women in this organi-
she checked in the morning, the bed a greenhouse. As she looked at her zation, surely a better representative
November 2010 123

3. of charity, I do not at this moment
have in mind the relief of the suffering
through the giving of our substance.
That, of course, is necessary and
proper. Tonight, however, I have in
mind the charity that manifests itself
when we are tolerant of others and
lenient toward their actions, the kind
of charity that forgives, the kind of
charity that is patient.
I have in mind the charity that
impels us to be sympathetic, com-
passionate, and merciful, not only in
could have been chosen.” have college degrees; some of you do times of sickness and affliction and
True, the woman who was chosen not. There are those who can afford distress but also in times of weakness
was not “model slim.” But those who the latest fashions and those who are or error on the part of others.
knew her and knew her qualities saw lucky to have one appropriate Sunday There is a serious need for the
in her far more than was reflected in outfit. Such differences are almost charity that gives attention to those
the photograph. The photograph did endless. Do these differences tempt us who are unnoticed, hope to those who
show that she had a friendly smile to judge one another? are discouraged, aid to those who are
and a look of confidence. What the Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who afflicted. True charity is love in action.
photograph didn’t show was that she worked among the poor in India most The need for charity is everywhere.
was a loyal and compassionate friend, of her life, spoke this profound truth: Needed is the charity which refuses
a woman of intelligence who loved “If you judge people, you have no time to find satisfaction in hearing or in
the Lord and who loved and served to love them.” 5 The Savior has admon- repeating the reports of misfortunes
His children. It didn’t show that she ished, “This is my commandment, That that come to others, unless by so
volunteered in the community and ye love one another, as I have loved doing, the unfortunate one may be
was a considerate and concerned you.” 6 I ask: can we love one another, benefited. The American educator and
neighbor. In short, the photograph as the Savior has commanded, if we politician Horace Mann once said, “To
did not reflect who she really was. judge each other? And I answer—with pity distress is but human; to relieve it
I ask: if attitudes, deeds, and Mother Teresa: no, we cannot. is godlike.” 11
spiritual inclinations were reflected in The Apostle James taught, “If any Charity is having patience with
physical features, would the counte- . . . among you seem to be religious, someone who has let us down. It
nance of the woman who complained and bridleth not his tongue, but is resisting the impulse to become
be as lovely as that of the woman she deceiveth his own heart, this man’s offended easily. It is accepting weak-
criticized? [or woman’s] religion is vain.” 7 nesses and shortcomings. It is accept-
My dear sisters, each of you is I have always loved your Relief ing people as they truly are. It is
unique. You are different from each Society motto: “Charity never faileth.” 8 looking beyond physical appearances
other in many ways. There are those What is charity? The prophet Mormon to attributes that will not dim through
of you who are married. Some of teaches us that “charity is the pure time. It is resisting the impulse to cate-
you stay at home with your children, love of Christ.” 9 In his farewell gorize others.
while others of you work outside message to the Lamanites, Moroni Charity, that pure love of Christ,
your homes. Some of you are empty declared, “Except ye have charity ye is manifest when a group of young
nesters. There are those of you who can in nowise be saved in the king- women from a singles ward travels
are married but do not have children. dom of God.” 10 hundreds of miles to attend the funeral
There are those who are divorced, I consider charity—or “the pure services for the mother of one of their
those who are widowed. Many of love of Christ”—to be the opposite Relief Society sisters. Charity is shown
you are single women. Some of you of criticism and judging. In speaking when devoted visiting teachers return
124

4. Conference Story Index
The following is a list of selected experiences from general conference
addresses for use in personal study, family home evening, and other teaching.
The number refers to the first page of the talk.
Speaker Story
month after month, year after year to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Jeffrey R. Holland’s parents pay for his mission (6).
the same uninterested, somewhat criti- Rosemary M. Wixom Children pray while their mother drives through
cal sister. It is evident when an elderly a blizzard (9).
widow is remembered and taken to Elder D. Todd D. Todd Christofferson’s grandfather shears sheep
ward functions and to Relief Society Christofferson and pays for a mission (16).
activities. It is felt when the sister sitting A business partner divides assets unequally (16).
alone in Relief Society receives the
Elder Robert D. Hales Robert D. Hales varnishes a floor until he gets
invitation, “Come—sit by us.”
himself stuck in a corner (24).
In a hundred small ways, all of you
wear the mantle of charity. Life is per- Elder Quentin L. Cook A bishop helps a man repent of dishonesty (27).
fect for none of us. Rather than being Elder Russell M. Nelson Russell M. Nelson shares the Book of Mormon with
judgmental and critical of each other, friends (47).
may we have the pure love of Christ A young man joins the Church after exploring
for our fellow travelers in this journey mormon.org (47).
through life. May we recognize that Elder Patrick Kearon Patrick Kearon is stung by a scorpion (50).
each one is doing her best to deal
Elder Juan A. Uceda A father gets angry with his daughter during
with the challenges which come her
family scripture study (53).
way, and may we strive to do our best
to help out. President Henry B. Eyring Spencer W. Kimball visits Henry B. Eyring’s father
Charity has been defined as “the in the hospital (59).
highest, noblest, strongest kind of President Thomas S. Clayton M. Christensen refuses to play basketball
love,” 12 the “pure love of Christ . . . ; Monson on Sunday (67).
and whoso is found possessed of it at President Henry B. Eyring A Relief Society president collects clothing to give
the last day, it shall be well with [her].” 13 to the poor (70).
“Charity never faileth.” May this President Boyd K. Packer A repentant woman is urged not to look back (74).
long-enduring Relief Society motto,
this timeless truth, guide you in every- Elder Jay E. Jensen Jay E. Jensen prays and receives a testimony
thing you do. May it permeate your through the Holy Ghost (77).
very souls and find expression in all President Thomas S. A family learns to give thanks even during
your thoughts and actions. Monson hard times (87).
I express my love to you, my sis- Elder L. Tom Perry A young priest helps a man with disabilities
ters, and pray that heaven’s blessings take the sacrament (91).
may ever be yours. In the name of Elder Larry R. Lawrence Parents ask a son to stay home because they
Jesus Christ, amen. ◼ have a bad feeling about an activity (98).
Notes
Elder Mervyn B. Arnold A cow dies after eating too much wheat (105).
1. Matthew 7:1.
2. Matthew 7:3. Elder M. Russell Ballard A woman begins the descent into addiction
3. Adapted from Mary Bartels, “The Old through prescription drugs (108).
Fisherman,” Guideposts, June 1965, 24–25.
4. John 7:24. Silvia H. Allred Tragedy strikes a family as they return from being
5. Mother Teresa, in R. M. Lala, A Touch of sealed in the temple (116).
Greatness: Encounters with the Eminent
(2001), x. Barbara Thompson Barbara Thompson is blessed through visiting
6. John 15:12. teaching Ashley’s mother (119).
7. James 1:26.
8. 1 Corinthians 13:8. President Thomas S. A couple who run a boarding house allow a
9. Moroni 7:47. Monson disfigured man to stay in their home (122).
0. Moroni 10:21.
1
1. Horace Mann, Lectures on Education
1
(1845), 297.
2. Bible Dictionary, “Charity.”
1
3. Moroni 7:47.
1
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