JSwipe Love Study 2019

INTRODUCTION
When we started JSwipe 5 years ago, we couldn’t have imagined the impact it would ultimately have, the lives it would
touch, and the love and connection it would foster. What started as a passion project out of a small factory in Brooklyn now
proudly represents over a million users spanning generations, denominations, and every major Jewish community around
the world. Not a day goes by where we don’t pinch ourselves.
Over the years we’ve had the honor and privilege of getting to know the community we serve. Our curiosity and questions
led to conversations that helped cultivate a deeper understanding of the modern Jewish experience. Each story, each
answer, uniquely true to the individual living it, and collectively coloring the picture of what Jewish life and Jewish dating
looks like in 2019.
We’ve been so inspired by this journey and the diversity of practice and beliefs within our community, that with great
excitement, we bring to you the "JSwipe Love Study.”
L O V E S T U D Y I N T R O D U C T I O N | 2

WHY
The world is a different place than it was just 10-20 years ago. Our sense of connection to each other and the world around
us, how we go about finding love, and the role of organized religion in our lives all look very different than our parents and
grandparents generations. Organizations, federations, and foundations across the Jewish world are struggling to understand
and engage younger audiences. And yet, it’s rare to find the establishment simply and actively listening to them. Much of the
research on Jewish millennials is funded by organizations or individuals looking to validate a specific idea, program, or
initiative. It’s often conducted by and for (endearingly) non-millennials and kept within the walls of the organization.
We began this process to give people a voice. No agenda, no preferred outcome, nothing to prove - rather, to start a
conversation with the generation rather than about them.
As we became more aware of how unusual it was to have Jews of all backgrounds sharing space, in our case within the app,
we felt called to step further into our role of “open tent,” welcoming and celebrating ALL - one of our core values. It is
through this lens that we now share a glimpse of what that looks like.

STRUCTURE
The study is made-up of three sections, each covering topics interesting on their own and prismatic when layered together.
For our first go, we wanted to focus on areas directly relevant and relatable to the JSwipe user — things we’re curious
about and grappling with ourselves. Within these pages there is no right or wrong, there is no better or worse, there simply
is — an open, honest, unfiltered exploration of: The State of Jewish, The State of Dating, and The State of Jewish Dating.
The State of
Jewish
The State of
Dating
The State of
Jewish Dating
P A RT 3
P A RT 2
P A RT 1

JEWISH
Millennials are said to be the least 'traditionally religious’ generation in recent history. We’ve heard people joke about SoulCycle taking the place of
Synagogue as spiritual practice. In this section we explore Jewish identity, Jewish engagement, Israel, and more.
1
T H E S T A T E OF
DATING
We’ll be the first to say it: dating today is weird. Lack of established norms and etiquette in modern dating and the paradox of choice have resulted
in people being frustrated and confused. In this section we explore what people are looking for, defining the relationship, deal-breakers and more.
2
T H E S T A T E OF
JEWISH DATING
With Jews making up 0.2% of the world’s population, finding Jewish love can sometimes feel like a needle in a haystack. We’ve grown up being
told, “everyone is equal, everyone is equal, everyone is equal, but you have to marry someone Jewish!” To some, that’s an absolute. For others, it’s
not even a factor. A large majority are left somewhere in between. This section explores motivations behind dating within the faith and the
particularly charged conversation of interfaith marriage.
3
T H E S T A T E OF

L O V E S T U D Y M E T H O D O L O G Y | 7
We surveyed 4,000 Jewish singles in February 2019. The survey was made available to
JSwipe users of all ages, allowing for the observation of trends between different age
groups, with the majority of responses coming from our core 25-35 demo.

60% of respondents live in the United States, 9% live in Israel, 8% live in Canada, 8% live in the UK, with
the remaining 15% spread across France, Germany, Australia, South Africa, Argentina, Brazil, & Mexico

26%
54%
18%
2%
18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
DENOMINATION
23%
22%
16%
16%
11%
6%
2%
1%
2%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist
Just Jewish
Other
GENDER
Female
42%
Male
58%
AGE

Survey Questions
We asked a blend of open-ended, Likert scale, single choice, and multiple choice questions covering an array
of topics we thought would be interesting to explore. Open-ended responses were then thematically coded
by data analysts, allowing for the visualization of response themes proportionally, relative to the overall sample.
O P E N - E N D E D L I K E R T S C A L E S I N G L E C H O I C E M U L T I C H O I C E

Millennials are said to be the least 'traditionally religious’ generation in recent history.
We’ve heard people joke about SoulCycle taking the place of Synagogue as spiritual
practice. In this section we explore Jewish identity, Jewish engagement, Israel, and more.
L O V E S T U D Y S T A T E O F J E W I S H | 12

How important is your Jewish identity to you?
3895 out of 3910 people answered this question.
4.2
Weighted
Average of 5
48% 33% 14% 5%
5 - Very Important 4 3 - Neutral 2 1 - Not Important

50%
47%
47%
47%
34%
33%
30%
36%
12%
14%
16%
14%
3%
5%
6%
3%
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55 - 64
B Y A G E

26%
61%
33%
51%
77%
74%
53%
35%
29%
42%
39%
19%
19%
32%
26%
8%
18%
8%
4%
5%
15%
11%
5%
1%
1%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist
B Y D E N O M I N A T I O N

What does being Jewish mean to you?
26%
24%
22%
21%
20%
16%
16%
8%
6%
5%
3%
2%
Identifying as a Jew
Traditions / holidays
Culture
Family / heritage / roots
Community / people / friends
Way of life / value system
Religion / faith
A respect of history / memory
Everything / a lot
Other
Not much
Support for Israel
% Check all that apply

Identifying as a Jew Fundamental to who I am Even though I am not religious, it is very important
to my identity.
Gives me an identity
Traditions / holidays Celebrating the holidays and passing on the
traditions
Celebrating the Jewish holidays The food I eat and the traditions I follow
Culture Being a part of a beautiful culture The culture and way I was raised. I take pride in
being unique from others.
Culture. History. Sense of belonging.
Family / heritage / roots Recognizing where I've come from and what my
family has sacrificed for me. It makes me feel
proud and blessed to be a Jew.
Spending time with family and remembering what
our ancestors endured
Being a part of (and contributing to) a heritage and
way of life
Community / people / friends I was born into a life where there is a clear path
for how to live my best life, and given the
structure of a community and loved ones who
are able to take the journey along with me.
Being part of a community It’s my religion, yes, but it’s also my culture and my
community.
Way of life / value system It is my way of life. Guides many of my decisions. It’s more than just religion, it’s a way of life. Cultural and traditional values and keeping true with
my parents upbringing
Religion / faith Practicing the religion Means I'm free to practice my religion, worship and
be who I was born to be
Judaism is my faith.
A respect of history / memory More about connection with the past Remembering the past and learning from it to make
a greater future
Ancestry, roots, introspection, remember and never
forget, respect
Support for Israel Supporting a state of Israel Always having a home in Israel Having a connection to the land of Israel
Quotes from “What does being Jewish mean to you?”

What makes someone Jewish?
29%
24%
23%
16%
14%
13%
9%
8%
4%
2%
2%
3%
Jewish mother
Jewish “by birth”
Faith / religion
Upbringing / traditions / heritage
Identity / soul / feeling
Jews by choice / conversion
Culture
Values / lifestyle
Community / connection with people
Documentation / recognized by Israel
Other
None / it’s hard to tell

Jewish mother If their mother is Jewish Their mother being Jewish Being born from a Jewish mother
Jewish by “birth” Family being Jewish If either parent is Jewish Technically, by birth
Faith / religion Love for Hashem and study of Torah Respect the commandments Celebrating the religion and taking part in it
Upbringing / traditions / heritage Being raised with Jewish traditions and customs Their soul and heritage Following the traditions
Identity / soul / feeling Identifying as Jewish and being proud of it Most important if they feel Jewish Your soul has to want to
Jews by choice / conversion They choose to be Jewish A choice to partake in its practices and customs If they convert
Culture Engaging in the culture and wanting to be a part
of it
You have to love the culture Their love for the culture
Values / lifestyle How they live their life The way they live their lives- either their
observance or their values having been informed
by Jewish practice
Living a Jewish lifestyle
Community / connection with people Wanting to belong to the Jewish people Being part of the tribe They’re participation in the community.
Documentation / recognized by Israel Recognized as Jewish by a rabbinic authority Recognition from a rabbi or state of Israel Feeling connected to Israel
Quotes from “What makes someone Jewish?”

If you do, how do you practice Judaism?
3881 | 3330 out of 3910 people answered these questions.
“I light Shabbat candles
and honor the holidays. No
business on Shabbat.”
“I always go to synagogue
on Jewish holidays, I don’t
eat pork, I always say the
Shema before going to
bed.”
“My Judaism centers
around the Jewish
holidays. I also like to do
Shabbat on Friday nights.”
Practice Judaism
in some form
87%

95%
92%
90%
84%
65%
56%
42%
39%
35%
33%
31% 30% 29%
27%
20% 18%
What Jewish holidays do you celebrate?
Passover Rosh
Hashanah
Yom Kippur Hanukkah Purim Sukkot Shavuot Simchat Torah Yom HaShoah Yom
Ha’atzmaut
Tish'a B'Av Yom
HaZikaron
Tu BiShvat Lag BaOmer Tu B'Av Yom
Yerushalayim

Celebrate Shabbat in
some form
69%
59%
27%
18%
18%
14%
13%
13%
11%
Dinner / share a meal
Family / parents / at home
Go to synagogue
Services / kiddush / pray
Friends / community
Don't work / no tech / relax
Light candles
Keep it “fully” / halacha
If you do, how do you celebrate Shabbat?
3881 | 2636 out of 3910 people answered this question.

Dinner / share a meal Every Shabbat I have Shabbat dinner and
Saturday lunch with cholent.
I attend a Shabbat dinner almost every week. Always make sure to have a nice Shabbat
meal
Family / parents / at home I celebrate at my parent’s home every Friday
night.
Friday night with family Spending time with family, connecting and
reflecting
Go to synagogue Occasionally go to temple At my local Chabad house Synagogue on some Shabbats
Services / kiddush / pray Sometimes go to services I attended Saturday morning services. Kiddush and praying
Friends / community Community events Get together with friends I usually host, or will go to a friend’s
apartment. We all cook together.
Don't work / no tech / relax Don’t work. Don’t drive. Break from technology I take time to relax and disconnect.
Light candles Occasional candles and staying at home I light Shabbat candles. Light candles and Shabbat meal
Keep it “fully” / halacha I keep Shabbat fully. Keeping 100% Keeping the laws, shul, Shabbat meals. All of
it.
Quotes from “If you do, how do you celebrate Shabbat?”

Don’t keep Kosher in
any form
51%
If you do, describe your kosher practice.
30%
24%
21%
20%
18%
13%
4%
3%
3%
2%
2%
1%
Don't eat pork or shellfish
Fully kosher (100%)
Don't mix meat and milk
Eat only kosher meat
Kosher at home
Vegetarian / vegetarian out
Try / do my best
Pescatarian / eat fish out
Eat at kosher restaurants
Vegan / vegan out
Other
Not sure / don't know / NA

Don't eat pork or shellfish Only so much as not eating pork or shellfish I might not eat kosher, but I don’t eat pork / ham /
bacon.
I don’t eat pork or seafood.
Fully kosher (100%) I eat only certified kosher products. I am strictly kosher inside the home and outside
the home.
100% kosher
Don't mix meat and milk Avoiding eating meat and dairy together I avoid meat and milk, not out of religious
observance but comfort due to how I grew up.
Separate milk and meat at home
Eat only kosher meat Don’t eat meat at non-kosher restaurants but
happy to eat other food
Only kosher meat Only eat kosher meat but will eat dairy at any
restaurant
Kosher at home Only within my house, not when I go out Kosher in the house Kosher kitchen, but no rules when eating out
Vegetarian / vegetarian out Eat vegetarian outside the house I am vegetarian, so kosher by default I am a vegetarian, but all my food products
are kosher
Try / do my best Partial adherence to laws Flexible kosher Try to eat kosher when available. I travel a lot
so I have to make do with what is available
sometimes.
Pescatarian / eat fish out I eat kosher fish in non-kosher restaurants. I eat out at non kosher restaurants as a vegetarian
/ pescatarian.
Pescatarian out of the house
Eat at kosher restaurants I will eat only in a kosher restaurant but will sit
for coffee or beer in a place that is not kosher
Just kosher restaurants, and products on kosher
list
I only eat food in kosher restaurants
Vegan / vegan out I’m vegan, so basically kosher Totally vegan Vegan, so "kosher style" by default
Quotes “If you do, describe your kosher practice”

Support Jewish
organizations
55%
72%
69%
80%
82%
83%
64%
45%
28%
31%
20%
18%
17%
36%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist
70%
70%
68%
73%
77%
30%
32%
27%
23%
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55 - 64
A
G
E
D
E
N
O
M
I
N
A
T
I
O
N
Do you support Jewish organizations?
Yes No

Which Jewish organizations do you support?
3%
4%
5%
5%
5%
7%
8%
8%
8%
9%
14%
15%
Chabad
Synagogue / temple
Federation
FIDF
A few / all of them
Hillel
JNF
UJA
JCC
AIPAC
Birthright Israel
Chai lifeline
Followed by the organizations below, each at 2%:
Hatzalah / Jewish schools / JUF / Moishe House / ADL / BBYO

18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
Chabad
Synagogue / temple
Federation
FIDF
Hillel
JNF
UJA
JCC
AIPAC
17%
10%
6%
5%
17%
5%
4%
4%
5%
16%
13%
10%
10%
6%
7%
5%
5%
4%
11%
19%
10%
8%
2%
9%
8%
7%
5%
13%
27%
17%
13%
3%
10%
3%
3%
10%
B Y A G E

Cultural Traditional Reform Conservative Modern Orthodox Orthodox Zionist
Chabad
Synagogue / temple
Federation
FIDF
Hillel
JNF
UJA
JCC
AIPAC
13%
10%
10%
9%
9%
5%
5%
8%
5%
16%
12%
17%
8%
11%
10%
7%
7%
7%
17%
19%
2%
10%
4%
4%
4%
1%
3%
20%
16%
1%
5%
1%
1%
1%
0%
2%
18%
15%
6%
8%
6%
7%
7%
2%
4%
7%
14%
5%
21%
7%
5%
2%
2%
7%
10%
14%
13%
7%
10%
8%
6%
7%
4%

Why do you support these organizations?
21%
19%
18%
18%
12%
8%
8%
8%
8%
6%
3%
1%
4%
Current or previous involvement
Help others / impact
Community / family / friends
Believe / like / trust them
Jewish identity / culture
Important to me / matter
Close to home / proximity
No special reason
Israel support
Shared values / mission / vision / beliefs
My synagogue / temple
They ask / call
Other

Current or previous
involvement
Giving back to an
organization that gave so
much to me
I contribute to the ones I
am active in.
Help others / impact I know 100% that they
really use the proceeds to
help people.
They are great people -
they help others
Community / family /
friends
Cause I support my
people
My friends have been
involved. They are a similar
“type of Jewish” as I.
Believe / like / trust them I believe in them. I trust that my money is
going to people in need.
Jewish identity / culture Have had an impact on
my Jewish identity
Because I like to support
Jewish people and culture
Important to me / matter They changed my life. They do work that I believe
is important.
Close to home / proximity Closest to home - I see
their direct impact
Whichever are near me
No special reason Why not? No special reason
Israel support They do what I perceive
to be good and beneficial
for Israel and for the
world.
I want to support Israel.
Shared values / mission /
vision / beliefs
Shared values and goals I see their vision and I think
it’s very important to
support each other.
My synagogue / temple I make donations to my
synagogue.
The temple where I belong
Quotes from “Why do you support these organizations?”

44%
42%
41%
28%
21%
14% 14% 13%
10% 10%
9% 8% 7%
6%
5% 4% 4% 3%
2%
Birthright
Israel
Hillel Chabad JCC Jewish
Federation
YJP Aish BBYO FIDF Moishe
House
USY NCSY Bnei Akiva Alpha
Epsilon Pi
NFTY Young
Judea
The Y Olami J Street
What organizations are you or have you ever been affiliated with?
OTHER

68%
41%
3%
13%
31%
37%
16%
Daily Weekly Occasionally Only High
Holidays
Never
How many times a year
do you go to synagogue?
Me My Family
Do you / your family
belong to a synagogue?
3850 | 3849 | 3858 out of 3910 people answered these questions.

81%
69%
88%
71%
81%
50%
61%
33%
76%
50%
47%
16%
52%
29%
67%
36%
61%
52%
62%
39%
Do you / your family belong to a synagogue?
74%
52%
My Family
Me
My Family
Me
18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
D
E
N
O
M
I
N
A
T
I
O
N
A
G
E

On what occasions do you go to synagogue?
94%
74%
68%
53%
26%
11%
High Holidays
Bar / Bat Mitzvahs
Weddings
Shabbat services
Just because
Other

Why do you go to synagogue?
36%
18%
18%
15%
13%
13%
7%
3%
2%
6%
Pray / God / spiritual
Community / connection
Traditions / culture
Holidays
Social aspects (events, friends)
Family
Enjoy it / like it / love it
Identity / being Jewish
Learning
Other

Pray / God / spiritual Reflect on myself and my spirituality To daven with a minyan Important to show appreciation to God
Community / connection To be part of a Jewish community It gives me a sense of community and I have made
very close friends.
I feel a connection to a time when I was
more involved (as a kid). I want that again
someday... I don't want to forget that feeling.
Traditions / culture Respecting my culture It is a tradition I have been doing since I was a
child.
Our family tradition is to go to synagogue
on High Holidays. I have my whole life.
Holidays Out of feeling obligated for Rosh Hashanah and
Yom Kippur
For High Holidays mostly To celebrate important holidays
Social aspects (events, friends) To see my friends and relax after a long week More to see friends than to pray For young professional events
Family Honestly to please parents To make my family happy Because it's important to my grandfather
and my parents
Enjoy it / like it / love it Enjoy being there I love the feeling. I love the atmosphere.
Identity / being Jewish Because it is part of who I am and what I believe
in.
Because it’s important to my Jewish identity As part of my commitment to feeling and
being Jewish
Learning To see what the Torah teaches and get the
latest information from the rabbi
It’s a place to learn I love learning.
Quotes from “Why do you go to synagogue?”

How do you feel when you go to synagogue?
34%
20%
14%
14%
12%
7%
5%
3%
2%
3%
2%
Good / happy / excited / uplifted
Connection with community / sense of belonging
At home / comfortable / peaceful / welcomed
Not good / bored / tired
Close to God / religious
Depends
Indifferent / neutral / nothing
Obligation
Proud / respectful
Other
Not sure / don't know

Good / happy / excited / uplifted Happy & looking forward to it Uplifted and given a sense of clarity Best feeling lots of good energy
Connection with community /
sense of belonging
Happy to be surrounded by such a warm
community
Like I'm part of a community and the Jewish
people at large
A sense of belonging
At home / comfortable /
peaceful / welcomed
That I'm at home and at peace Comfortable, home, accepted I feel welcomed and at peace
Not good / bored / tired Bored, lost, not able to follow, Don’t know the
meaning of it all.
Kind of bored, a little out of touch A little stressed and a lot bored
Close to God / religious Connected to a higher power Close to God Like my prayers are being listened to
Depends Depends on who I'm sitting next to It depends on the synagogue. It goes from inspired
and connected to bored and alienated.
It depends on the synagogue. Some I feel
more / less connected and comfortable than
others.
Indifferent / neutral / nothing How I do everyday, no different Indifferent for the most part The same as usual
Obligation Fulfilling an obligation Obligated to be there As though that's where I'm supposed to be,
but more in an obligatory sense than a
spiritual sense
Proud / respectful Proud of myself for going That I’m proud to be Jewish Respectful
Quotes from “How do you feel when you go to synagogue?”

Did you partake in any form
of Jewish education?
57%
36%
35%
16%
13%
2%
17%
Hebrew school
Jewish day school
Israel program
Yeshiva
Confirmation
None
Other
If other, explain.
Children programs outside of
school, madrich trainings,
summer camps
USY and post B'nai Mitzvah
community-wide weekly Hebrew
high program
Study in Israeli regular schools Learn in Israel
Private lessons with the rabbi Worked at Jewish summer camps
(though did not attend as a
camper)
Shiurim or learn on my own I was homeschooled.
Hebrew high, it was basically
extended Hebrew school in
high school

What Jewish lifecycle events did you experience?
87%
69%
48%
15%
5%
Bar / Bat Mitzvah
Bris / baby naming
Birthright Israel
Confirmation
None

Were active in Jewish
life on campus
If active, select all that apply.
1%
1%
1%
1%
3%
4%
4%
6%
6%
6%
12%
39%
68%
J Street
Sigma Delta Tau
Young Judaea
Sigma Alpha Mu
Jewish Heritage Programs
World Union of Jewish Students
Alpha Epsilon Phi
Maimonides
Israel on Campus Coalition
Aish Campus
Alpha Epsilon Pi
Chabad on Campus
Hillel
48%

Have been to Israel
88%
42%
19%
19%
16%
11%
7%
6%
3%
2%
4%
Family / friends
Live / born / grew up there
Trip / travel / tour
Just vacation / holidays
College / work / volunteering / learning
Religious events / temple
Alone / on my own / by myself
Event / camp / sport
Wedding / marriage
Other
How did you travel to Israel?

Family / friends One time with my best friend and another time
with my family
With my family multiple times I went to Israel with my mother.
Live / born / grew up there Born and raised in Israel Grew up in Israel. I go every year. I did Aliyah so now I live here.
Trip / travel / tour Israel tour Spent 4 years traveling 2004-09. Archeological tourism (Jewish focused)
Just vacation / holidays Go on holiday there couple times a year I go for vacation. For Jewish holidays
College / work / volunteering / learning Went to Israel for my masters degree Volunteer program during college To work on a kibbutz
Religious events / temple Had my Bar Mitzvah in Israel Traveled with my synagogue One time was with my family and synagogue
for a friend’s Bat Mitzvah
Alone / on my own / by myself For fun on my own Went by myself Packed a bag and went alone
Event / camp / sport With my camp Maccabiah games I went with my Jewish summer camp.
Wedding / marriage Once for a wedding Wedding of relatives My older sister’s wedding
Quotes from “How do you travel to Israel?”

How important is Israel to your Jewish identity?
45% 22% 19% 8% 5%
3.9
Weighted
Average

48%
44%
45%
48%
24%
22%
21%
24%
19%
20%
19%
15%
6%
8%
8%
7%
4%
6%
6%
6%
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55 - 64
5 - Very Important 4 3 - Neutral 2 1 - Not Imprtant
B Y A G E

28%
63%
26%
44%
64%
63%
87%
22%
20%
28%
27%
19%
21%
10%
26%
11%
28%
21%
13%
11%
3%
13%
4%
11%
6%
3%
3%
0%
11%
8%
2%
2%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist

What are your views on Israel?
33%
20%
16%
12%
8%
7%
5%
4%
3%
2%
6%
6%
Support / pro-Israel
Jewish homeland
Beautiful / amazing / the best
I love it / I like it
Negative about politics / gov
It’s complicated
Zionistic
One-state solution / Jewish state
Nothing special / neutral
Two-state solution
Other
Not sure / none

Support / pro-Israel I support Israel and care about its safety. Israel is an important country in the world that
needs to be protected as a safe place for Jews.
Strongly pro-Israel
Jewish homeland I feel like it's our homeland. It is home and a place of our heritage Proud that there is a Jewish homeland
Beautiful / amazing / the best Israel is an amazing country that has done
incredible things in its short life.
It’s a beautiful country with great food Israel is the greatest, most beautiful country.
I love it / I like it I love Israel from a community aspect & for its
history.
I love anything and everything to do with Israel. I love it, but would not like to live there.
Negative about politics / gov I disagree with the Israeli government, but love
the country and its people.
It is the home of Judaism, yet there are many
things I don't like about the government and the
Orthodox Rabbinate.
I love Israel and it's very complicated. I am
overwhelmed by the politics and I wish that
there could be peace.
It’s complicated I agree and disagree with political moves Israel
makes.
Wow, too complicated to fit in here, but Cliff
Notes are support most of the time.
That’s a complicated question. I am very pro-
Israel but there are issues I have with Israel,
similar to my feelings with America.
Zionistic Pro-Zionist I am a proud Zionist. Zionism is the greatest thing ever.
One-state solution / Jewish state It should be one state One state solution - no compromise I believe in one state solution, but not sure
it's possible.
Nothing special / neutral It is a country like other countries Nothing special Neutral, but supportive overall
Two-state solution I believe in a two-state solution. The state of Israel has a right to exist as a Jewish
State, the Palestinian people have a right to exist
in harmony with Israel.
There should probably be some kind of two
state solution.
Quotes from “What are you views on Israel?”

Do you consider yourself more religious or spiritual?
Spiritual
41%
Both Equally
28%
Religious
13%
Neither
18%

What are your favorite things about being Jewish?
37%
31%
16%
14%
13%
10%
10%
7%
7%
3%
2%
3%
4%
Community
Culture and traditions
Food
Identity
Family
Holidays
Values
Religion
History
Humor
Everything
Other
None

Community The feeling that no matter what my problem is,
that the community will always help me
Tradition, being part of a community, there’s also a
certain vibration I feel with other Jewish people
That you always feel a connection to another
Jew, even if they’re from the other side of
the world
Culture and traditions Having a culture of people who were raised like
me that I can relate to
The importance of family, the food, the feeling of
community when practicing traditions
A part of a growing, dynamic, and academic
culture which has been steering through the
course of human history for four millennia.
Food Matzah ball soup Challah BAGELS!
Identity Having pride in my Jewish identity It’s who I am and I’m proud of who I am. It’s who I am and how I think of myself. The
people, culture and traditions make it
amazing.
Family The connections with family and friends I love how close knit and loving Jewish families are. The dynamic of family and the opportunity to
spend time together on Shabbat and the
holidays
Holidays Hanukkah Purim The High Holidays
Values Commitment to morals, ethics, and, above all
else, Tikkun Olam.
We have a wonderful family orientated value
system.
Having shared cultural and religious values
that connect you to others and make you
different; make you stand out
Religion Study Torah, Talmud, and Mitzvot Be part of a multi-millennial people with a unique
connection with G-d, be a descent of Abraham
and Moses.
Accepting a tradition that is part of a larger
picture in my understanding of the way the
world works and how God created me.
History How ancient the religion and its customs are as
well as the history
Just knowing where my ancestors came from and
how strong we are. I like that we fight for what’s
ours as well.
I love being connected to so much history,
our deep compassion for others.
Humor Comedians Our sense of humor My sense of dry wit and humor, as inspired
by my heroes like Mel Brooks and Jon
Stewart
Quotes from “What are your favorite things about being Jewish?”

What are your least favorite things about being Jewish?
21%
16%
14%
13%
9%
6%
6%
5%
4%
3%
3%
2%
2%
3%
6%
Antisemitism, racism, hate
Restrictions, rules, strictness, obligations
Community / bad things in other Jews
Nothing
Stereotypes, stigmas, prejudices
Culture / traditions
Religion
Jewish identity / being a minority
Difficulties in personal life, dating
Orthodox, ultra religious
Politics
Jewish guilt
Extremists, fanatics, radicals
Other
Not sure / none

Antisemitism,
racism, hate
Anti-Semitism is growing
around the world, and I
sometimes don't feel safe.
Hearing about how people
hate Jewish people
Restrictions, rules,
strictness, obligations
There are a lot of rules /
restrictions
Being restricted to
marrying Jewish reduces
my options. Also the
dietary and Shabbat
restrictions although I don't
personally observe them.
Community / bad
things in other Jews
The division in the
community
Associated with all Jews -
even those with poor
reputations
Nothing Don’t have any. I’m
extremely proud of my
Jewish identity.
There's nothing wrong
with being Jewish.
Stereotypes,
stigma, prejudices
Stigmas and other
people’s ignorance
The stereotypes, aka short
men !
Culture / traditions Tradition and how it feels
out of reach to millennials
who are not native
Hebrew speakers
The achievement culture;
the pressure to be
professionally successful
Religion Forced to go to Sunday
school
The coercive and restrictive
nature of organized
religion, and the excessive
costs involved in trying to
be an affiliated Jew
Jewish identity /
being a minority
The constant struggle of
advocating for my right to
be Jewish and practice
freely
The challenges of being a
minority and how I feel
many Jews don't care
about keeping a Jewish
identity
Orthodox,
ultra-religious
I find Orthodox Jews
hard to manage. I've often
found them to be
judgmental about 'how
Jewish I am' and try to
change me.
That Orthodox people
don’t really respect those
that are not Orthodox
Difficulties in personal
life, dating
Hard to find someone
that you like, and who is
Jewish
The difficulty of living a
traditional lifestyle in a
modern world
Politics Jews getting a bad name
because of right-wing
Israeli politics
The double standard when
it comes to politics in Israel
in the US
Jewish guilt Jewish guilt from Mom Jewish guilt, in all forms
Quotes from “What are your least favorite things about being Jewish?”

79%
79%
78%
80%
86%
21%
21%
22%
20%
14%
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55 - 64
65 - 76
85%
74%
15%
26%
Female
Male
Believe in God
79%
56%
89%
75%
86%
96%
97%
68%
44%
11%
25%
14%
4%
3
32%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist
G
E
N
D
E
R
Yes No
Do you believe in God?
A
G
E
D
E
N
O
M
I
N
A
T
I
O
N

We’ll be the first to say it: dating today is weird. Lack of established norms and
etiquette in modern dating and the paradox of choice have resulted in people
being frustrated and confused. In this section we explore what people are looking
for in a partner, defining the relationship, deal-breakers and more.
L O V E S T U D Y S T A T E O F D A T I N G | 57

How do you feel about being single?
5% 9% 35% 30% 21%
5 - Positive 4 3 - Neutral 2 1 - Negative
2.5
Weighted
Average

How do you feel about being single?
5%
6%
6%
5%
5%
7%
8%
9%
9%
8%
10%
14%
36%
34%
36%
34%
35%
36%
30%
30%
31%
30%
31%
25%
21%
20%
18%
23%
18%
18%
Female
Male
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55-64
5 - Positive 4 3 - Neutral 2 1 - Negative

What are you looking for in your dating experience?
71%
69%
45%
31%
9%
Marriage
Monogamous
relationship
Companionship
Something casual
Open relationship
49
%
64
%
56
%
42
%
10
%
18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
79
%
71
%
42
%
29
%
9
%
81
%
70
%
39
%
21
%
8
%
51
%
81
%
46
%
16
%
7
%
74
%
72
%
36
%
13
%
3
%
68
%
67
%
52
%
44
%
13
%
Female Male
A G E
G E N D E R

How satisfied are you in your current dating experience?
3% 8% 32% 31% 26%
5 - Very Satisfied 4 3 - Neutral 2 1 - Unsatisfied
2.3
Weighted
Average

What is your favorite part about dating?
46%
16%
15%
9%
8%
6%
3%
2%
1%
3%
Getting to know someone
Connection / being in a relationship
Having fun / adventures / new experiences
Feelings (love / chemistry / excitement)
Nothing / negative
Hope / opportunity
Intimacy / sex
Start / beginning / first dates, kiss
Everything about dating
Other

Getting to know someone Getting to know someone new and discovering
shared interests and beliefs
Meeting new people and learning about the things
that make them happy
Meeting people that challenge me
Connection / being in a relationship After you move past the “dating” stage and get
to a place of “relationship”. When the
overthinking slows down.
Having a meaningful connection with another
person
Finding a connection with a special person
Having fun / adventures / new experiences Having fun, going out and enjoying each other’s
company, laughing together
New adventures and experiences Being playful and having fun with someone
Feelings (love / chemistry / excitement) Getting butterflies Excitement and looking forward to seeing
someone I’m excited to see, making that
connection and feeling that chemistry
The excitement of something new / feeling
excited when I meet someone new that I like
/ the excitement after a good date
Nothing / negative Nothing! It’s frustrating finding dates. None of it. I’m ready to be done dating and be in a
serious relationship.
If we're defining 'dating' as the mishegas that
involves many failed attempts at finding a
suitable partner before arriving at something
that works for both people, then nothing at
all. It is the worst and if I could get to the
other side without going through it, I would.
Hope / opportunity The thought that at any moment I could meet
my soulmate
The potential to get married The idea of finding someone to spend the
rest of my life with
Intimacy / sex The physical attachment like sex / the
excitement of learning someone new you’re
attracted to / becoming intimate
Finding out someone's weird and nerdish
obsessions, nurturing them, and reassuring them
it's normal. Also, sex.
Wooing and intimacy / the passionate
moments
Start / beginning / first dates, kiss The kindergarten crush phase / the honeymoon
phase of getting to know someone
The sparks when you first meet someone and it
works
Getting that nervous, but excited feeling
about a first date. Meeting someone new.
Everything about dating Everything - it's romantic, fun, and you get to
learn about yourself and others.
Everything about it All of it
Quotes from “What is your favorite part about dating?”

What is your least favorite part about dating?
20%
18%
14%
12%
9%
9%
7%
7%
4%
4%
4%
5%
4%
Efforts to find someone / repetition / wasting time
Anxiety / awkwardness
Disappointment / bad dates / break ups
Inappropriate people
The ”games”
Ghosting / rejection
Everything / a lot / all of it
Conversation with new people
Uncertainty / unknown expectations
Apps / online dating
The cost
Other
Not sure / none

Efforts to find
someone / repetition /
wasting time
Wasting time on people
who don't know what
they want
Having the same
conversations over and
over
Anxiety /
awkwardness
Nervous anticipation and
miscommunication
leading to disappointment
Staring at each other
awkwardly across a table
Disappointment /
bad dates / break ups
Meeting someone you
don’t like and want to
leave the date as soon as
you get there
I have been on dates with
people who I say to
myself...wtf.
Inappropriate people Having to weed through
all the people with poor
values or who are
disrespectful or only
looking for a fling
Dealing with inappropriate
people and comments
The ”games” People who lie and play
games. People who say
they want a monogamous
relationship, but don’t
behave that way. People
who never respond.
The stress, the
complications,
unintentionally playing
games. Not knowing what
they're thinking / how
they're feeling.
Ghosting / rejection People being fickle with
inconsistent
communication -
ghosting, not holding a
conversation, etc.
The pain of rejection and
the lack of control over
finding a match
Everything /
a lot / all of it
Dating itself is the worst
thing about dating
The whole process. Dating
is hard. Being alone is hard.
Conversation
with new people
Figuring out what I want
and communicating that /
knowing what to say
First dates that feel like an
interview
Uncertainty /
unknown
expectations
Not knowing where you
stand in the early days
I personally hate the not
knowing, especially when
they deliberately do it.
When you say "So are you
feeling this or do you just
wanna be friends?" and
they answer "I don't know."
It's a waste of my time.
Apps / online dating The BS. The constant
texting. Too many options
to the point where
nobody really ever
connects.
The incredible amount of
time and effort to get a
date and the flakiness of
prospective dates. Fake
profiles, redundant repeat
profiles, profiles of people
not interested in dating
(Instagram follower fishing,
etc.)
The cost Spending money on the
first date and there is no
second / pay even if it
was an utter disaster
Almost everything. I spend
a lot of time doing it, I drive
all over LA and pay for
drinks I rarely want and
usually never see the
person again. It’s a low
yield process.
Quotes from “What is your least favorite part about dating?”

What are some trends you see in modern dating?
28%
19%
13%
10%
10%
5%
5%
3%
1%
Challenges of apps / texting
Casual encounters
Fear of commitment
Paradox of choice
Ghosting
Communication challenges
Lack of manners / unreliable
Dishonesty / catfishing
It’s getting harder

Challenges of apps / texting Harder to make good conversations on text Dates don’t mean anything because it’s so easy to
get another one with apps
Lots and lots of texting. Nobody calls
anymore.
Casual encounters Dating multiple people simultaneously— not
taking it too seriously
Seeing everything casual and not committing Lack of commitment. Seems everyone wants
something casual.
Fear of commitment No one wants to get serious People not taking initiative and not wanting to
commit
More exploration prior to commitment,
superficial connections, fear of commitment
Paradox of choice Too many options makes it harder for people to
give someone a fair chance and settle down
People are becoming more picky and less likely to
work on a relationship
The “paradox of choice” effect with dating
apps seems to cause people to move on
quickly in search of “a better match”
Ghosting Too much “ghosting”, difficult to have real
connections
Lots of ghosting and last minute canceling Ghosting: people not treating other people
with respect and kindness
Communication challenges Lack of respect and polite communication Lack of in person communication - too much
focus on digital interaction
Lack of direct communication about what
you are looking for and what you really are
like
Lack of manners / unreliable No chivalry Lack of manners, lack of social skills, lack of follow
through or thoughtfulness
People are treated like they’re disposable, no
manners
Dishonesty / catfishing People pretending to be someone they are not People not being truthful, especially about
appearance
Dishonesty, disloyalty, and overall not taking
feelings into consideration
It’s getting harder Everything changed! It's torture. The internet has changed everything. There is an
illusion of plenty and that makes people much
more fussy, making it ironically harder to find love.
Getting harder to actually meet someone for
a real relationship and not just a one night
thing or a few dates and at the first chance
they cut things off
Quotes from “What are some trends you see in modern dating?”

How do you like to meet potential dates?
89%
79%
68%
38%
29%
29%
13%
Mutual friend
Dating app
Day-to-day
Work
Social media
Blind date
Other

What are the most important traits you are looking for in a partner?
42%
35%
29%
26%
24%
22%
19%
15%
13%
8%
8%
Kind / compassionate
Interesting / sense of humor
Intelligent / smart / clever
Family oriented / stable / dependable
Honest / trustworthy
Physical attraction
Ambitions / hard working / drive
Shared values / interests
Compatibility / connection
Communicative / communication
Connection to Judaism
54%
43%
31%
33%
33%
15%
27%
16%
11%
9%
10%
Total Female Male
34%
29%
28%
20%
18%
27%
13%
14%
15%
7%
6%
G E N D E R

Kind / compassionate Loving, kindness, good warm heart, patient,
someone who cares
Someone who’s compassionate and kind Good person, good heart, kind, and
compassionate
Interesting / sense of humor Fun, lively, interesting, can hold a conversation Common or interesting interests, a good
personality
A good sense of humor
Intelligent / smart / clever They have to be smart and be able to have
intelligent discussions, but also fun and light
hearted
Intelligent, clever, open minded Active mind. Strong sense of self. Clever.
Family oriented / stable / dependable Genuine, good-hearted, family-oriented Loving, family oriented, stable to support a family Stability (mental, financial, etc.), chemistry
(physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual), family
oriented and wants to get married
Honest / trustworthy Someone who’s trustworthy Honesty, loyalty, trustworthy, good
characteristics
Being honest and trustworthy
Ambitions / hard working / drive Someone who is trying to be a better person
every day
Ambition, open to new ideas Driven and hard working
Shared values / interests Similar interests and values Share values, respect, common interests Common interests, looks, musical tastes, sense
of humor
Compatibility / connection Someone who wants a connection and can be
fully invested
Long-term compatibility Chemistry, compatibility, and connection
Communicative / communication Easy to talk to Someone who actually cares to talk and enjoys
learning about someone
Communicative and willing to understand
Connection to Judaism Someone with a strong Jewish identity Passionate about Judaism and Israel Someone with a similar Jewish background to mine
Quotes from “What are the most important traits you are looking for in a partner?”

23%
21%
17%
17%
16%
11%
9%
8%
5%
4%
2%
6%
7%
Bad character / rudeness / selfish / disrespectful
Smoking / drugs / alcohol
Lack of attraction
Not religiously compatible
Liars / dishonesty
Misaligned interests / values
Lack drive, ambition, goals
Lack of education / close-minded
No sense of humor / boring
Different political views
Already has kids
Others
Not sure / none
What are your deal breakers?

Bad character /
rudeness / selfish /
disrespectful
Rude and obnoxious.
Rude to family members.
Controlling and
manipulative.
Narcissism, cruelty, lack of
compassion, idiocy / selfish,
too loud, inconsiderate,
only talk about themselves,
shows off
Smoking /
drugs / alcohol
Heavy use of drugs,
alcoholism,
unappreciative, selfish
Smoking, drugs, bullsh*t,
cats
Lack of attraction Unattractiveness (to me)...
not educated, not
intelligent, isn’t willing to
be flexible, dishonesty,
bad teeth, bad self care
Unattractive, unhealthy
lifestyle.
Not religiously
compatible
Doesn’t keep Shabbat. Someone who doesn't
believe in God
Liars / dishonesty Lies. Impatience.
Rudeness.
Miscommunication.
Dishonesty and being
superficial
Misaligned interests /
values
Someone not looking for
the same things
Differing opinions on
fundamental issues
Lack drive,
ambition, goals
Lack of drive. Has to have
aspirations.
No goals, wouldn’t
challenge me
Lack of education /
close-minded
Close-minded. unwilling
to try new things
Lack of advanced
education
No sense of humor /
boring
Boring, can’t have a
conversation, unattractive
Being inconsiderate, having
no sense of humor
Different political
views
Extreme political views Homophobia, Trump
supporters (specifically
Trump, Republicans are
fine)
Already has kids If they have kids from a
previous relationship
Having been divorced
without an actual reason
beyond being bored or
unfulfilled. Having cheated
in the past.
Quotes from “What are your deal breakers?”

82%
78%
80%
80%
80%
91%
18%
22%
20%
20%
20%
9%
Female
Male
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55 - 64
Believe in “true love”
80%
Yes No
A
G
E
G
E
N
D
E
R
Do you believe in “true love”?

Consider themselves a
romantic (vs. a realist)
56%
59%
58%
57%
59%
68%
44%
41%
42%
43%
41%
32%
Female
Male
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55-64
58%
Romantic Realist
Do you consider yourself a romantic or a realist?
A
G
E
G
E
N
D
E
R

65% believe that “differences between you
and your partner strengthen relationships”
while the other 35% believe it’s more likely
to make things more complicated.

How often do you like to see someone you are newly dating?
4%
26%
47%
18%
3%
2%
Other
1x / week
2x / week
3x / week
4-6x / week
Everyday
2.1
Weighted Average

69%
Feel the need to officially
define the relationship
At what point do you define the relationship?
35%
19%
17%
14%
8%
3%
5%
5%
When it feels right
Love / commitment / trust
After 1-3 months
Within the first month / few dates
Depends on relationship
After first kiss / sex
Other
Not sure / none

Quotes from “At what point do you define the relationship?”
L O V E S T U D Y S T A T E O F D A T I N G |
When it feels right When it feels right. No set timetable. Once mutually we decide we aren't talking to people
and both express we want to take this seriously
When each person communicates needs, wants and
both parties agree on exclusivity
Love / commitment / trust When you start to feel something for that person When you establish trust and mutual views When you feel true love
After 1-3 months I don't think it has to be defined right away, but I
definitely feel like it should be spoken about pretty
soon in the relationship so I know where I stand and if
I'm wasting another person’s or my time. Probably
after a month.
After going out for enough time and it's going well.
Like a couple months, probably.
When we’ve been seeing each other for a couple of
months but each situation is unique
Within the first month /
few dates
ASAP; if someone isn't serious about me then they
are booted
Ideally at the very beginning. Opens an evolving
conversation.
After a few dates, or there is a serious connection
right from the start
Depends on relationship Different for every couple Depends on the situation and how well you are
working together. Depends how often we see each
other and talk in between dates as well.
The real answer to the question is that it depends. It's
not yes or no. It depends on the person the context,
etc.
After first kiss / sex After we are seeing each other consistently and
having sex
When I'm sleeping with them and realize I'd be jealous
if they were with other people
After the first kiss
78

When you like someone, when do you stop
seeing / talking to other people?
26%
18%
14%
12%
7%
5%
5%
4%
3%
2%
8%
5%
“The Conversation” / mutual agreement
Specific number of dates*
Almost right away / fairly early
Feeling / connection / chemistry based
Several months
Several weeks
Depends / varies
Never
After a few dates
After first kiss or sex
Other
Don't know / Not sure
26%
69%
11% 3%
1 date 2-4 dates 5-7 dates 8+ dates
*Specific number of dates
“The Conversation”
/ mutual agreement
After we both decide it’s mutual / serious
Mutual agreement
When it becomes officially agreed upon
by both parties
Almost right away /
fairly early
Very quickly. I want to give the other
person a proper chance and I feel guilty if
I have another date lined up.
Shortly after or immediately
Immediately, no point if there’s a chance
Feeling /
connection /
chemistry based
When I feel that we each have a real
connection that could develop
As soon as I feel chemistry develop
After a few dates, or if there is a serious
connection right from the start

What’s your ideal first date?
Drinks / bar
Activities (museums / movie / events)
Food (dinner / brunch / lunch)
Conversation / get to know each other
Coffee / tea / ice cream
Walking / hiking
Casual / relaxed / chill
Chemistry / connection / romantic
Anything / anywhere / don't care
Sex
25%
24%
25%
16%
14%
16%
11%
3%
3%
0%
Total 18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
36%
20%
17%
18%
15%
11%
10%
7%
3%
1%
29%
12%
16%
23%
15%
7%
10%
18%
4%
1%
27%
10%
31%
13%
27%
8%
8%
17%
2%
0%
31%
19%
19%
19%
15%
12%
10%
8%
3%
1%
A G E

Drinks / bar Drinks - even though its
basic it’s a relaxed
environment for getting to
know someone
Nothing too fancy, but a place
where you can go to relax,
talk, and drink something. A
bar ideally as there’s not so
much pressure
Activities (museums /
movie / events)
An activity like bowling or
trivia, something where the
pressure isn’t fully on a
conversation
Something fun, not just drinks
or dinner. Karaoke, putt putt,
comedy show, escape room,
cooking class, picnic.
Food (dinner /
brunch / lunch)
Going out to dinner with
someone who’s serious,
passionate, and ideally a little
humble or nervous
As much as I love physical
activity, sharing a meal is
usually best for conversation,
which is important on a first
date
Conversation / get to
know each other
Having a good conversation,
laughing, enjoying yourself
Something casual where we
have meaningful conversation
and get to know each other’s
values and expectations
Coffee / tea / ice cream First date I prefer to be
something quick like coffee
Coffee / tea and a short walk.
Any place quiet enough to
talk.
Walking / hiking Exploring a city together -
talking and walking around
Sunday walking along the
boardwalk or an outdoor
activity. Unexpected turns
make life more interesting.
Casual / relaxed / chill Something super chilled
where we can just talk and
get to know each other and
have fun
Something casual that allows
us to talk and get to know
each other
Chemistry / connection
/ romantic
One where you check your
watch and four hours have
simply vanished
Both feel a strong connection
Anything / anywhere /
don't care
Honestly anything works
with the right person
Just having a nice time
together, no need of anything
special
Depends Depends on my mood Depends on the personality of
the person I go out with
Sex Fun, outside as much as
possible, building to great
sex
Dinner, then a drink, then
dancing, then sex
Quotes from “What’s your ideal first date?“

It’s important to note the following three questions we asked were
open-ended and thematically coded based on response. We celebrate
and champion love in all forms. At first we considered removing the
next three slides based on the gendered / binary / hetero-normative
nature of the responses, as they don’t reflect the dating experience of
all users. Ultimately, we decided to include them as potential prompts
for what we feel is a generative conversation. We are excited for our
next study that will focus specifically on the LGBTQ Jewish experience.

Who asks who out on the first date?
Men ask
Equal / either or / anyone
Women ask
71
%
28
%
5%
67
%
35
%
7%
Total Female Male Female Male
69%
32%
6%
Guy asks girl, but girl hints before
I’m a little old-fashioned, so I’d say the guy asks out
The male, but that's because I’m shy and wouldn’t
have the guts to ask anyone out myself
When I ask him out, things never go well
Guy asks girl almost 100% of the time. Social
conditioning is to blame.
I always ask. Women tend to be more passive
about it.
I like to ask, chivalry isn’t dead.
Either works
Anyone can, but I'm too shy and afraid of rejection to
actually make the first move
It’s 2019 - this is sexist
Anybody who's interested!
Whoever is more courageous
It should be both ways honestly
It's the year 2019. Both can ask out.
In this day in age the woman has to do everything :(
I like to ask men out!
I feel comfortable asking men out on dates
It is extremely flattering when the girl asks and
I do love it when the girl shows initiative, but it
can be awkward.
(I can't say no) when a girl asks me out!
I'm not opposed to her being the one to ask.

Men pay
Both / split
Women pay
(or offer to pay)
Whoever asks
Doesn't matter
Who pays for the first date?
Always the man
He does if he wants a second date
The guy (only because they are trying to impress)
Guy pays always. Come on!
I usually do if I like her
Unfortunately, most girls expects the man
Split. Be prepared to pay for oneself.
We each pay half, or each one pays for their stuff
Both, but the guy needs to insist
Split most of the time unless I feel like
paying
It should be split 50/50 until the couple
defines the relationship
Girl offers and if he agrees is the answer
I'll offer, I don’t think it's fair to assume he has to
Girl should offer to split, but guy should pay
As a feminist, I think she should...
Hopefully her LOL!
I always appreciate a woman who gestures
to her wallet or offers
Whoever asked the person out
Whoever, I’d prefer it be free
Anyone!
Doesn't make a difference to me
Whomever asked, unless otherwise
requested
Whoever offers and agrees
I prefer the person who does the asking out.
One or the other. Or last result split.
74%
23%
9%
4%
5%
80%
18%
2%
4%
3%
77%
20%
5%
4%
4%

Men
Either
Women
Depends on person
/ app
Who messages first?
I still like when the guys sends the first message. Have
much more success when the guy pursues the girl.
I prefer the guy to make the initial move.
I am traditional and I do like it if a guy messages me
first.
90% of the time the guy messages first
For some reason the guy has to...can't quite see
why though
Society says guy
Whoever feels it ;) I don't like playing games.
No games. So makes no difference.
Whoever wants to
Whoever wants to. Shouldn't be based on
gender.
Whoever has something to say
Either one. It's 2019!
If I have a good pickup line (or something good from
their bio) then I do, otherwise I wait for the guy to do it
Lots of men match and don't message at all, so
sometimes women have to
I will if he’s super cute ; )
I like when a girl messages first and actually has
something to say and not hi.
Girl should message to show interest
I would appreciate if the girl messages me first
occasionally.
Depends I guess. Usually I let the guys message first to
see if they’re really interested. Then for x amount of
times, I’ll message first.
Depends on the app 😉
Situational
It depends on context
Me unless I am on Bumble
Depends on the situation
49
%
47
%
10
%
4%
54
%
42
%
7%
4%
51%
45%
8%
4%

Do you believe chivalry is dead?
Do you believe games are
necessary in the beginning of a
relationship?
Do you think someone is
too eager if they don't wait
to respond to texts?
81%
Believe chivalry
is not dead
82%
Believe games are
not necessary
87%
It’s okay to respond
quickly to texts
No Yes
3702 | 3727 | 3734 out of 3910 people answered these questions.

What are the “unspoken” rules of dating that you believe in / practice?
19%
16%
15%
12%
12%
11%
4%
4%
3%
3%
2%
Don't know / not sure / no idea
Don't believe in rules / no rules
Be honest / be yourself
Be nice / patient / positive / respectful
Don’t rush / take it slow
Chivalry / guy asks out
No kiss / sex on the first date
Communication is key
Don't talk about … (exes / politics / mom / religion, etc.)
Don't be a jerk
Don’t date other people

Don't know / not sure / no idea I’m naive about them if they exist I don’t know of any exact rules. Maybe that’s why
I’m single.
I don’t know, I am just living the moment not
calculating anything.
Don't believe in rules / no rules Anything goes. If you vibe with someone, rules
don’t matter.
I don't believe in dating rules or games. Just do
what is comfortable.
I think all rules should be tossed out the
window. Every relationship is a unique thing.
It’s not all movies and sitcoms.
Be honest / be yourself Just be honest and be yourself. That's who you
want to get to know.
Every relationship / dating experience is formed
differently. Just be honest and open.
I’m very open and honest about myself from
the start. If you don’t like it, you’re not right.
Be nice / patient / positive / respectful Be nice. Positive. Polite. Don’t be rude. We are all in this together and for similar end
goals. If someone isn’t right for me, they will be
wonderful for someone else. We should never
treat each other disrespectfully or try to cause
pain. If you're not interested, say it politely.
Be honest and respectful. No one owes
anyone anything beyond that.
Don’t rush / take it slow Don’t fall too hard too quickly. Don’t get too excited about someone, proceed
with caution, take things slowly
Take things slow and easy, don't put them
on a pedestal, but otherwise just be kind.
Chivalry / guy asks out Chivalry. Men should make the moves and pay
for the first few dates.
The man should be a gentleman Guys should pursue women, make the first
move
No kiss / sex on the first dates Usually you wait till date three to be intimate Don’t have sex on first date if looking for serious
relationship
No kiss on the first date. Honesty first,
always. Clear limits.
Communication is key Continued conversations about where we’re at Honesty and communication, making sure the
other person is comfortable with the status
Communication, communication,
communication.
Don't talk about …
(exes / politics / mom / religion, etc.)
Do not speak of past relationships in the first
date.
Don’t talk about money or politics - be yourself Don’t talk about politics early, keep it light,
don’t make sexual innuendos.
Don't be a jerk Treat others as you would like to be treated Be nice! Realize the person is a real person. Even if
they aren't for you just express that nicely. Be
open and calm and normal. :)
1) Always be a gentlemen 2) Be honest 3)
Do not be manipulative 4) Don't be an ass
Quotes from “What are the “unspoken” rules of dating that you believe in / practice?”

General dating do's
42%
32%
21%
12%
9%
4%
Be yourself / honest / no games
Be a good person / good manners
Good communication / listen
Have fun / laugh / relax / be chill
Be a gentleman / chivalry
Be on time / don't be late
Be yourself and express your own individuality
Be honest about what you’re looking for
Don’t play games. This idea of playing out these roles or games sets up fake interactions
Just have good manners
Be polite and put the phone away. Have good manners.
Respect, respect, respect
Have clear communication at all times
Discuss boundaries and define communication needs
Be engaging. Don't spend the whole time talking or listening - do a mix
Have fun and laugh
Just go with what feels comfortable and be normal
Relax and have fun! Be willing to laugh.
Guy should come closer to where the girl lives
Open doors, be a gentleman
Chivalry signals romantic intention and distinguishes a date from friendly hanging out
Don't be late
Don't cancel last minute without reason
Respond to texts in a timely manner
2409 out of 3910 people answered this question (do’s describe 1990 out 3312).

General dating don’ts
49%
30%
25%
Don't be rude
Don't force / don’t be too clingy
Don't talk about …
(exes / politics / mom, etc.)
Don’t be a jerk
Don’t be an asshole
Don’t have bad manners
Don't lie, don't ghost
Don’t’ answer cell phones (unless an emergency)
Don't cancel a date last minute that’s been set
Don’t go home together, don’t be too eager, don’t get too drunk
Don’t force the issue of what you want
Never pressure the other person
Don't be overbearing
Don't call or text too much
Don’t act clingy, Give the person space, and be responsive to texts and calls, but not at work.
Have boundaries going in.
Don't talk about past relationships
Don't talk about yourself too much
Don’t talk about your Mom
Don't talk about politics, dating, difficult topics
Don't talk about going on other dates
Don’t talk about your ex
Don't talk about anything too heavy
882 out of 3910 people answered this question (don’t mentioned 846 out 3312).

59%
43%
43%
57%
43%
6%
41%
57%
57%
43%
57%
94%
Female
Male
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55 - 64
42%
53%
46%
56%
63%
56%
38%
58%
47%
54%
44%
37%
44%
62%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist
Feel pressure to
get married
50%
Feel Pressure Don’t Feel Pressure
A
G
E
G
E
N
D
E
R
D
E
N
O
M
I
N
A
T
I
O
N
Do you feel pressure to get married?

Yourself
Society
Parents
Family
Friends
Other
69%
60%
66%
60%
37%
4%
73%
76%
68%
68%
42%
4%
Male Female
B Y G E N D E R
If you do, from who do you feel the pressure to get married?

Yourself
Society
Parents
Family
Friends
Other
66%
64%
64%
66%
34%
4%
18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
73%
71%
70%
66%
42%
5%
73%
63%
60%
55%
39%
3%
67%
67%
33%
33%
0%
0%
B Y A G E

Yourself
Society
Parents
Family
Friends
Other
68%
61%
64%
64%
38%
4%
77%
74%
69%
68%
43%
3%
73%
66%
73%
65%
39%
5%
71%
77%
69%
63%
47%
3%
80%
76%
69%
69%
55%
13%
74%
62%
62%
41%
32%
3%
67%
66%
61%
60%
30%
3%

How do you determine who from dating apps you will go on dates with?
39%
29%
17%
15%
11%
8%
6%
4%
3%
3%
2%
10%
5%
The conversation / communication
Attraction
Chemistry / feeling / vibe
Profile / bio / photos
Shared interests / values / commonality
Anyone who asks / responds
Fun / interesting / humor
Smart / educated / intelligent
Seems normal / friendly / nice / not weird
Religiously aligned
Depends / various/ random
Other
Don't know / not sure

The conversation / communication Ability to have a good conversation Good conversation over text and I speak to people
over the phone before I meet them in person
How they act with me in chatting, if they
seem genuinely interested
Attraction Physical attraction based on pics and how
engaging they are in messages
They look good and have backup social media like
Snapchat
Initial attraction and meaningful
conversation
Chemistry / feeling / vibe Just get a vibe If there seems like there is a connection I generally pick up on vibes. You can tell by
their face, but their ability to spell correctly
and the texting banter.
Profile / bio / photos They have provided information about
themselves on their profile with a current
photo, so I can tell they are intellectual and have
the emotional capacity to keep up with me
Looks and bio. GIRL, PLEASE PUT UP A BIO. LIKE
BRUH, IM TRYIN TO LOVE YALL BUT DAMN
YALL HAVE NOOOOOO INFO.
Pics: Could I be attracted to this person? Do
they look like a douche? Why is there a
picture of a car, will I be dating the car?
Profile: Do they say anything? Are their
interests or hobbies things I like? If they
make a joke, is it actually funny?
Shared interests / values / commonality Seeing if we have similar values & approach to
life
Feel we have enough in common and are looking
for the same thing
I like to know we have things in common
before we go out, so I have a sense if we’d
have anything to chat about.
Anyone who asks / responds Just about anyone! A first date is the only way
to begin
Whoever I match with and wants to 😂 Whoever replies and says yes
Fun / interesting / humor If the conversation flows, the sense of humor
seems to match, and I feel like we would get
along well in person
By talking to the person! If the person sounds
interesting and if he had a good sense of
humor....it’s a match!
After finding that one or two physical
characteristics I aim for a humorous profile
and I always check for typos.
Smart / educated / intelligent Is she attractive? Does she have the right
educational background? Does she work
somewhere decent? Could I introduce her to
my friends / parents?
I like men who have a decent education and can
write coherent sentences
I look for evidence that the guy is smart and
employed in a decent job.
Seems normal / friendly / nice / not weird The person seems nice, interested and
interesting and asks to meetup (oh and they’re
attractive)
If there is normal conversation, there is no harm in
going on a date
Similar background and seem normal from
conversations.
Religiously aligned If they look religious, we have mutual friends,
and they can hold a fun text conversation
I look to see if they are religious. Then talk to them
about what they are looking for and take it from
there.
I'm more likely to say yes if I can relate to
them. If I see pictures of non-kosher food
it’s an automatic no. If they went to a Jewish
HS similar to mine, more likely.
Quotes from “How do you determine who from dating apps you will go on dates with?” 96
L O V E S T U D Y S T A T E O F D A T I N G |

What percent of your single friends do you presume use dating apps?
3%
13%
25%
39%
21%
None
25%
50%
75%
100%

Shallow, necessary, quick Fun, engaging, spontaneous Frustrating, time-wasting,
ineffective
Easy, fun, frustrating
Convenient, fun, hopeful Fast, judgmental, decisive
Accessible, judgmental, helpful Fun, simple, time-consuming
Interesting, useful, valuable Mainly for entertainment Popular, unpredictable, "fake" Fun (when bored), necessary,
unsuccessful
Describe dating apps in 3 words

Do you follow up with someone after a first
date if it doesn’t go well?
32%
48%
68%
52%
Female
Male
Yes No
41%
Would follow up if the
first date didn’t go well

THE STATE OF
JEWISH DATING
P A R T 3

With Jews making up 0.2% of the world’s population, finding Jewish love can
sometimes feel like a needle in a haystack. We’ve grown up being told, “everyone is
equal, everyone is equal, everyone is equal, but you have to marry someone Jewish!”
To some, that’s an absolute. For others, it’s not even a factor. A large majority are
left somewhere in between. This section explores motivations behind dating within
the faith and the particularly charged conversation of interfaith marriage.
L O V E S T U D Y S T A T E O F J E W I S H D A T I N G | 101

How important is it to you to date someone Jewish?
50% 28% 15% 3% 4%
4.2
Weighted
Average

Why do you feel it is important to date someone Jewish?
30%
26%
22%
14%
8%
8%
3%
5%
4%
33%
29%
31%
8%
8%
9%
3%
3%
2%
27%
24%
16%
17%
8%
7%
3%
6%
5%
Total Female Male
G E N D E R
Marriage / family / kids
Religion / Jewish continuity
Shared interests / values
It's not necessary
Society / family pressure
Identity
I just want to date someone Jewish
Other
Not sure / none

It's not necessary
Identity
Other
Not sure / none
18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
35%
25%
19%
12%
10%
8%
3%
4%
4%
30%
27%
22%
13%
9%
8%
3%
5%
4%
24%
25%
26%
17%
3%
7%
3%
8%
3%
10%
18%
39%
24%
2%
4%
6%
8%
0%
B Y A G E

19%
19%
22%
29%
9%
5%
3%
6%
3%
35%
29%
22%
6%
8%
9%
2%
6%
4%
28%
21%
32%
16%
8%
4%
2%
5%
3%
36%
31%
24%
7%
9%
7%
3%
3%
2%
36%
38%
14%
3%
6%
15%
3%
3%
2%
33%
36%
10%
2%
6%
17%
5%
6%
7%
26%
20%
18%
13%
6%
6%
5%
8%
7%
It's not necessary
Identity
Other
Not sure / none

Marriage / family / kids My family wants me to meet and marry a Jewish
man. I also want to keep family traditions alive
from having family survive the Holocaust and
then there is also the factor of having a common
culture to connect over!
Because I want to raise my kids the same way I was
raised. It’s also important to my family.
Judaism is such a big part of who I am, my
community, my family. It would be hard to be with
someone who didn’t share that. I want to raise a
Jewish family. It is important that Judaism is not
eliminated.
Religion / Jewish continuity Judaism is a major part of my life and I want to
share it with someone who understands.
People from the same cultures have a tendency to
keep culture going, but I want to keep my heritage.
I want to carry on the tradition of being Jewish.
Shared interests / values I want to marry someone who is Jewish and
raise my children to be Jewish. I want to have
Jewish traditions, values, interests, and
experiences in common. I want to keep Judaism
alive.
I want my children to be Jewish and want to date
someone with the same family values and
upbringing.
Judaism is a priority in my life and I would like to
build my home based on those values with a partner
who shares those values.
It’s not necessary It'd be nice to have that in common, but I don't
consider religion a factor in dating unless it
influences our worldview.
If you fall in love with someone it should not matter
what religion they come from.
Ultimately I think I want to be with someone
Jewish, but I don’t rule out dating someone non-
Jewish if they are not religious and understand my
personal beliefs.
Societal / family pressure My Mom would kill me, but I’d also like to raise a
Jewish family full of traditions and culture. It’s
just easier with someone else who’s Jewish.
Because my family will disapprove if the person is
not Jewish and their blessing is important to me
Pressure from my mother and grandparents. Plus I
feel like we share some values that come from a
lifetime of practicing some form of Judaism.
Identity Because Judaism is part of my identity and I can’t
imagine a future without
Judaism and Jewishness are central to my identity,
and I want to share in this with someone
It’s important to preserve our identity, to carry on
the faith, and to share those values
I just want to date someone Jewish No special reason, it's just important for me It’s an interesting question I ask myself a lot. I don’t
know.
Just a strong feeling; have not really qualified it yet
Quotes from “Why do you feel it is important to date someone Jewish?” 106
L O V E S T U D Y S T A T E O F J E W I S H D A T I N G |

How important is it to you to marry someone Jewish?
57% 23% 12% 3% 4%
4.2
Weighted
Average

Total Female Male
36%
22%
28%
7%
7%
10%
6%
4%
3%
3%
28%
20%
14%
17%
9%
7%
7%
3%
5%
5%
Why is it important to you to marry someone Jewish?
Want Jewish family / kids
Tradition / culture / community
It’s not a deal breaker
Identity
Jewish continuity
It's good, right, important to me
Other
Not sure / none
31%
21%
20%
13%
9%
8%
7%
4%
4%
4%
G E N D E R

18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
39%
20%
18%
10%
10%
8%
8%
3%
3%
3%
32%
21%
19%
13%
9%
8%
7%
4%
3%
4%
22%
19%
25%
15%
4%
8%
7%
4%
7%
4%
6%
22%
43%
14%
6%
6%
0%
4%
6%
8%
B Y A G E
Identity
Jewish continuity
Other
Not sure / none

31%
14%
27%
18%
9%
4%
4%
2%
3%
4%
35%
23%
19%
3%
9%
12%
9%
3%
5%
3%
22%
15%
20%
28%
10%
4%
4%
3%
4%
5%
▲
▲ 34%
33%
15%
1%
4%
15%
9%
6%
2%
2%
40%
23%
22%
6%
9%
7%
10%
4%
2%
3%
29%
33%
11%
0%
8%
13%
7%
6%
6%
7%
31%
15%
16%
11%
6%
5%
8%
5%
5%
8%
Identity
Jewish continuity
Other
Not sure / none

Want Jewish family / kids I like being Jewish and want my children to grow
up the same way and with the same religion as
me.
Because you can't have a Jewish household if only
half the couple is Jewish
Because my father wasn’t Jewish and I want to
understand the culture of any children I have better
than I feel he understood mine
Tradition / culture / community I want to keep my culture and Judaism is
important to me.
It is a shared background and history. I want my
children to be raised in a Jewish environment. To
have a Jewish wedding.
Cultural fluency. Ease in making decisions about
kids.
Shared interests / values I want my future kids to grow up with Jewish
values and traditions which come from both
parents.
More common grounds to create a functioning
home on Jewish values in the future.
Similar values strengthen a relationship.
It’s not a deal breaker Depends on the person more than the religion Love doesn’t care what religion you are. If the non-Jewish person accepts me to be Jewish,
it’s enough.
Society / family pressure Because of society and my parents Because my family keeps telling me to marry
someone Jewish and carry on the religion.
Make my Mom proud
Identity Jewish is my identity. You can't really
understand me if you are not Jewish.
Religion is not so important to me, but identity is. I
would like my kids to have a sense of Jewish
identity.
Judaism is part of who I am. Judaism is part of my
identity
Jewish continuity I have a responsibility to keep the Jewish flame
going.
Everybody is Jewish in my family and I don’t want to
be the one to break a multi millennial Jewish
ancestry.
Keep the people and traditions alive
“How important is it to you to marry someone Jewish? Why do you feel that way?” 111

Who influences your feelings on this the most?
87%
54%
45%
30%
27%
3%
Myself
Parents
Family
Community
Friends
Other

How important is it to you to marry someone
who wants to live a Jewish life?
39% 24% 22% 5% 9%
3.8
Weighted
Average

How important is it to you to marry someone
who wants to raise their kids Jewish?
57% 23% 12% 3% 5%
4.2
Weighted
Average

Of those who keep kosher said they
would consider dating someone
who isn’t kosher
Of those who keep Shabbat said
they would consider dating
someone who doesn't keep Shabbat
77.8% 75.1%

53%
89%
76%
88%
92%
96%
77%
47%
11%
24%
12%
8%
4%
23%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist
87%
82%
74%
60%
13%
18%
26%
40%
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55 - 64
Say it’s important that they
have a Jewish wedding
81%
Important Not Important
A
G
E
D
E
N
O
M
I
N
A
T
I
O
N
Is it important to have a Jewish wedding?

59%
91%
81%
92%
95%
96%
82%
41%
9%
19%
8%
5%
4%
18%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist
Say it’s important that a
Rabbi officiates their wedding
77%
A
G
E
D
E
N
O
M
I
N
A
T
I
O
N
Is it important to have a Rabbi officiate your wedding?
84%
76%
72%
71%
16%
24%
28%
29%
18 - 24
25 - 34
35 - 54
55 - 64
Important Not Important

9%
4%
11%
6%
5%
55%
27%
60%
39%
13%
11%
42%
36%
69%
29%
55%
86%
87%
53%
Cultural
Traditional
Reform
Conservative
Modern Orthodox
Orthodox
Zionist
Positive Neutral Negative
How would your family react if you decided to marry
someone who wasn’t Jewish?
6% 40% 54%
54%
Total
Said their family would react
negatively if they married
someone who wasn’t Jewish D
E
N
O
M
I
N
A
T
I
O
N

What are your thoughts on interfaith marriage?
33%
21%
16%
16%
3%
3%
2%
2%
8%
Positive in general / fine
Works for some people / ideally I find someone Jewish
Negative in general
Complicated / challenging
My family is already blended
Neutral / it happens
Doesn’t bother me
Other
None
Total 18 - 24 25 - 34 35 - 54 55 - 64
29%
22%
17%
16%
1%
3%
2%
2%
10%
32%
22%
16%
15%
3%
3%
2%
3%
7%
40%
18%
17%
14%
5%
2%
2%
2%
5%
41%
18%
14%
14%
8%
2%
4%
0%
6%
A G E

53%
15%
6%
12%
4%
3%
3%
7%
2%
Positive in general / fine
Works for some people / ideally I’d find a Jew
Negative in general
Complicated / challenging
My family is already blended
Neutral / it happens
Doesn’t bother me
Other
None
20%
24%
24%
13%
2%
3%
2%
10%
4%
49%
18%
6%
16%
5%
3%
2%
4%
1%
28%
27%
14%
23%
3%
2%
2%
5%
1%
6%
29%
36%
16%
1%
2%
1%
8%
3%
8%
22%
40%
12%
0%
1%
2%
14%
2%
30%
17%
12%
16%
1%
5%
4%
12%
4%
What are your thoughts on interfaith marriage?

Positive in general / fine All for it I support it If the couple is happy, then it’s good
Works for some people /
Ideally I find someone Jewish
Open to it, but not my preference If it works for you, who is to judge It’s an individual choice, I don’t judge other’s
choices about marriage the same as I don’t judge
them about other personal choices.
Negative in general Not good is an understatement No a fan - likely to lose Jewish faith Against it 100%
Complicated / challenging Relationships are difficult to begin with. Why
complicate further?
It's challenging for the whole family and confusing
for kids
I know many interfaith marriages raise their kids
Jewish, but I also know many families where the
kids are very confused.
My family is already blended I am a result of one and I am happy I am raised
with both traditions.
My parents are interfaith. I have nothing against it. It’s in my family, but dilutes Judaism for most.
Occasionally some fall back into the fold.
Neutral / it happens To each their own If it happens it happens No better or worse than others
Doesn’t bother me Doesn't matter to me Doesn't bother me Don’t care
Quotes from “What are your thoughts on interfaith marriage?” 121

Why do you think interfaith marriages are on the rise?
21%
17%
16%
13%
9%
7%
4%
11%
12%
Decline of religion / less important
Lack of Jewish people / hard to find Jews
People are accepting / open-minded
Lack of Jewish identity / assimilation
Globalization
Love is love
Jews don't like Jews / opposites attract
Other
Don't know / not sure

Decline of religion /
less important
Because religion is on the decline and people are
marrying for love
Because religion is not as much of a focus for
younger generations and people are more open and
supportive of different views
People aren’t as connected to Judaism so doesn't
matter who they marry
Lack of Jewish people /
hard to find Jews
Because it’s hard to find anyone no less
someone of your own religion
Because it’s really hard to meet someone who is
Jewish that you connect with. It’s hard, it’s really
hard. It’s way easier to meet someone who isn’t
Jewish.
Because it’s so much easier to meet someone who
is not Jewish, at least living in America
People are accepting /
open-minded
Young generations are more accepting and less
concerned with religion and tradition
More diversity in the dating pool, less emphasis on
religion, and more open minded views from young
people
Because people are more open-minded and are
looking to complete each other in a different way
than before
Lack of Jewish identity /
assimilation
People are distancing themselves from the
religion, values, and traditions. They don’t go to
Jewish schools and are not surrounded by
Jewish influence to strengthen their decision to
be with someone Jewish.
People are not as involved in the Jewish community More influence of secularism in society as a whole,
as well as broad information and exposure to
various faiths / beliefs
Globalization The world is becoming smaller and we’re
meeting many more people of diverse
backgrounds and faiths.
World is kind of global these days. Judaism seems
outdated maybe sometimes. People fall in love and
Jewish identity isn't that important to them.
People's views on their culture and background is
becoming more fluid. We are all being exposed to
the world if you will and sometimes love transcends
our cultural and religious backgrounds.
Love is love Love is love. I think people are more open to
differences in general than they used to be. I also
think it’s harder to find someone when you
narrow it down.
It’s a modern world with endless opportunities. Love
is love.
Because people value love above all else
Jews don't like Jews /
opposites attract
Jewish options appear to be limited, and there
are negative male and female Jewish
stereotypes.
Bigger dating pool that way. Also Jewish guys can
be the worst. Jewish girls can be the worst. We’re a
messy bunch. 😜
Too many expectations in the Jewish world. Too
much gossip and double standards.
“Why do you think interfaith marriages are on the rise?” 123

Would marry someone
who converted
83%
Would marry someone
who converted for them
81%

22%
21%
16%
10%
9%
8%
5%
4%
3%
3%
4%
It's up to them / I can't force (ask, control) it
I want a Jewish family / kids
Not important to me / I accept them for who they are
It's important to me
Jewish rules (family, religion, culture)
Such conversion doesn’t make sense
I wouldn't date non-Jewish
We'll discuss it / why not
Connection / makes things easier
Other
Not sure / don't know / NA
Would ask someone to convert
for them if things got serious
47%
If things get serious with someone not Jewish, would
you ask them to convert? Why?

It's up to them / I can't force (ask,
control) it
I would not dictate someone’s religious beliefs /
it's a big and personal decision and no one should
impose it to others
You can’t tell someone else what to believe. It
would be morally and ethically wrong.
I can’t force someone to be Jewish. They need to
feel / want it themselves. I wouldn’t want them to
do something they were uncomfortable with.
I want a Jewish family / kids So our kids would have a good social support
system to be socialized in
Because living a Jewish life and raising Jewish kids is
very important to me
I want our family to be united as a Jewish family.
Not important to me /
I accept them for who they are
Because it’s 2019 I’m open to other denominations / I’m open to all
faiths
Don’t care enough about this issue to make a big
deal about it
It's important to me Because I can't consider marrying anyone who
doesn't want to be Jewish out of their own will
and desire
Because I believe in Jewish values, the way of life Because living a Jewish life and raising Jewish kids
is very important to me
Jewish rules (family, religion, culture) Because I believe in Jewish values, the way of
life
It's important for me to marry Jewish and have
someone who understands me and can build a
family with me. I want my partner to be familiar with
Jewish traditions and customs and find some level
of meaning from them.
Because I want to have a Jewish lifestyle. I’m not
comfortable celebrating non-Jewish or Christian
holidays
Such conversion doesn’t make sense In Judaism you can’t do that for love. If someone wants to convert, it has to be of his/her
own will. Otherwise it does not count /is untrue.
If someone converts for me, later on if we fight,
they may regret the decision.
I wouldn't date non-Jewish I would never date a non-Jewish person. I wouldn’t start a serious relationship with someone
who isn’t Jewish as it wouldn’t lead anywhere.
I would never get to the point of being serious with
someone who wasn’t Jewish. It’s not right to make
someone convert for your beliefs. Only people who
value Judaism should convert.
We'll discuss it / why not I would ask them if they wanted to, but it
wouldn't be a deal breaker if they said no
Ask isn’t the right term - but we’d talk about it for
sure
If they love me, why not.
Connection / makes things easier Because it makes everything easier when you’re
on the same page
Easier to be the same religion It makes things less complicated
“If things get serious with someone not Jewish, would you ask them to convert? Why?” 126

L O V E S T U D Y I N C L O S I N G | 128
What was most important to us in pulling together this study was to present the individual views, thoughts, and experiences
shared in the most pure, accurate and non-biased way possible. Whereas we originally intended to interpret the findings
through a corresponding narrative layered throughout the report, we found that near-impossible to do without jeopardizing
the ultimate intention of simply being a vessel to honor and amplify the voices of young Jews around the world. While
acknowledging that surveying 4,000 JSwipe users is not the same as a randomly selected sample of the Jewish population -
by virtue of them being on JSwipe, they are to varying degrees more inclined to be Jewishly engaged - for us, this was more
an exploration of the underlying concepts and nuances in language used to answer some of the contemporary Jewish
world’s most pressing questions. May it spark reflection and conversation between families, communities, and generations.
Shanah Tovah! From our family to yours,
@DavidYarus and the JSwipe team
IN CLOSING

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This would not have been possible without the commitment and dedication of several extraordinary humans coming
together in a truly all-hands-on-deck effort to synthesize, visualize, and share these findings with you - with love.
Sruly, Stephanie, Jill, and Mariia - Thank you.
Design by @SrulyLipszyc

CONTACT
We’d love to hear your thoughts. What questions do you wish we asked? What else should we explore?
Please direct all comments, questions, ideas and inquiries to David@JSwipe.me

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