Presented by Eric Kaufman
May 1, 2020
Work-Life Jenga & Unscheduling
What You Will Learn
• Myth of work-life balance
• Alternatives to dividing the pie
• Strategies for prioritizing our lives
Caveat: There’s no magic formula; find what
works best for you and those you love.
Balance?
What matters more than work/life
balance?
Work + [X] = Life
Are You an Integrator or Segmentor?
“As technology consumes our lives, nudging us to respond
to Slack messages at midnight and email pings on
weekends, the concept of ‘work-life balance’ increasingly
feels like a myth, created to tease fresh college grads,
torture parents, and plague us all with perpetual
productivity anxiety.” (Fessler, 2018)
What Is Your Priority This
Weekend?
As we approach the end
of the semester, where
do you invest your time?
When Work Takes Over Your Life
“The thing about
machines and the same
thing about software is
that the goal is to
minimize downtime….
Downtime for the
human operating
system is not a bug, it's
a feature.”
- Arianna Huffington
Preparing for the Unexpected
Juggling Life – Identifying Roles
What are your
different roles in life?
What do others
count on you to do?
Juggling Life
“Juggling comes down
to an act of faith.” You
have to “finish each task
and then let go
completely, because the
next task is about to fall
into your hands.”
– Michael Moschen,
world famous juggler
Margin: Avoiding the Overload Syndrome
“Margin is the
space between
our load and our
limits.”
- Richard A. Swenson, M.D.
Dialogue with Colleagues
• Engage in
conversation
• Discuss priorities
• Develop relationships
• Establish mutual
respect
The Tyranny of Success
"At the end of the day, you are only one individual with a limited
amount of time. You can’t do everything, so you must prioritize.
What are the most important topics for you to pay attention to, and
where are you going to draw the line?" - Julie Zhuo, “As Your Team Gets
Bigger, Your Leadership Style Has to Adapt,” Harvard Business Review
Stephen Covey’s Johari Window
Perspectives on Time
“The rest of my time will be
more productive if you give
me my workout time.”
– Barack Obama, POTUS
“I have so much to do today
that I need to spend the first
three hours with the Lord.”
- Martin Luther, theologean
Make Rest a Routine…
Integrating Work and Family
Enriching or Depleting?
The Dynamics of Engagement in Work and Family Roles
“Findings from a survey of 790 employees reveal
evidence for both depletion and enrichment as well
as gender differences. Specifically, depletion
existed only for women and only in the work-to-
family direction. Men experienced enrichment from
work to family, while women experienced
enrichment from family to work. Overall, more
linkages were found between work and family for
women than for men.” (Rothbard, 2001, p. 655)
Involve Family When You Can
Intensity vs. Consistency
Don’t Just Find Time, Make Time
Be Clear About the Value of Your Time
Power of “Unscheduling”
”An upside-down approach
to help chronic postponers
get their lives back on
track.... The twist is that
rather than making a plan
for the work that you have to
do, you do the opposite:
schedule in activities that
you would like to do.”
- Zaria Gorvett
Believe in Work-Life Jenga
“Work-Life Jenga gives us
permission to pick our
pieces and arrange our lives
to suit the desires of our
hearts, not the dictates of
those around us. The
expectation is not one of
balance; it’s one of strategy
and of making the best of
each move, one block at a
time.” - Stacey Abrams
It’s About Attention Management
"It’s not time management,
because you might spend
the same amount of time on
the tasks even after you
rearrange your schedule.
It’s attention management:
You’re noticing the order of
tasks that works for you and
adjusting accordingly."
- Adam Grant
Recap
• Myth of work-life balance
• Alternatives to dividing the pie
• Strategies for prioritizing our lives
Let me know how I can helpEKK@VT.Edu

Work Life Jenga and Unscheduling

  • 1.
    Presented by EricKaufman May 1, 2020 Work-Life Jenga & Unscheduling
  • 2.
    What You WillLearn • Myth of work-life balance • Alternatives to dividing the pie • Strategies for prioritizing our lives
  • 3.
    Caveat: There’s nomagic formula; find what works best for you and those you love.
  • 4.
  • 5.
    What matters morethan work/life balance?
  • 6.
    Work + [X]= Life
  • 7.
    Are You anIntegrator or Segmentor? “As technology consumes our lives, nudging us to respond to Slack messages at midnight and email pings on weekends, the concept of ‘work-life balance’ increasingly feels like a myth, created to tease fresh college grads, torture parents, and plague us all with perpetual productivity anxiety.” (Fessler, 2018)
  • 8.
    What Is YourPriority This Weekend? As we approach the end of the semester, where do you invest your time?
  • 9.
    When Work TakesOver Your Life “The thing about machines and the same thing about software is that the goal is to minimize downtime…. Downtime for the human operating system is not a bug, it's a feature.” - Arianna Huffington
  • 10.
  • 12.
    Juggling Life –Identifying Roles What are your different roles in life? What do others count on you to do?
  • 13.
    Juggling Life “Juggling comesdown to an act of faith.” You have to “finish each task and then let go completely, because the next task is about to fall into your hands.” – Michael Moschen, world famous juggler
  • 14.
    Margin: Avoiding theOverload Syndrome “Margin is the space between our load and our limits.” - Richard A. Swenson, M.D.
  • 15.
    Dialogue with Colleagues •Engage in conversation • Discuss priorities • Develop relationships • Establish mutual respect
  • 16.
    The Tyranny ofSuccess "At the end of the day, you are only one individual with a limited amount of time. You can’t do everything, so you must prioritize. What are the most important topics for you to pay attention to, and where are you going to draw the line?" - Julie Zhuo, “As Your Team Gets Bigger, Your Leadership Style Has to Adapt,” Harvard Business Review
  • 17.
  • 18.
    Perspectives on Time “Therest of my time will be more productive if you give me my workout time.” – Barack Obama, POTUS “I have so much to do today that I need to spend the first three hours with the Lord.” - Martin Luther, theologean
  • 19.
    Make Rest aRoutine…
  • 20.
  • 21.
    Enriching or Depleting? TheDynamics of Engagement in Work and Family Roles “Findings from a survey of 790 employees reveal evidence for both depletion and enrichment as well as gender differences. Specifically, depletion existed only for women and only in the work-to- family direction. Men experienced enrichment from work to family, while women experienced enrichment from family to work. Overall, more linkages were found between work and family for women than for men.” (Rothbard, 2001, p. 655)
  • 22.
  • 23.
  • 24.
    Don’t Just FindTime, Make Time
  • 25.
    Be Clear Aboutthe Value of Your Time
  • 26.
    Power of “Unscheduling” ”Anupside-down approach to help chronic postponers get their lives back on track.... The twist is that rather than making a plan for the work that you have to do, you do the opposite: schedule in activities that you would like to do.” - Zaria Gorvett
  • 27.
    Believe in Work-LifeJenga “Work-Life Jenga gives us permission to pick our pieces and arrange our lives to suit the desires of our hearts, not the dictates of those around us. The expectation is not one of balance; it’s one of strategy and of making the best of each move, one block at a time.” - Stacey Abrams
  • 28.
    It’s About AttentionManagement "It’s not time management, because you might spend the same amount of time on the tasks even after you rearrange your schedule. It’s attention management: You’re noticing the order of tasks that works for you and adjusting accordingly." - Adam Grant
  • 29.
    Recap • Myth ofwork-life balance • Alternatives to dividing the pie • Strategies for prioritizing our lives
  • 30.
    Let me knowhow I can helpEKK@VT.Edu

Editor's Notes

  • #2 With today’s technology, much of our work can travel with us wherever we go, eliminating the natural boundaries of a work day or work week.  The pressure to excel can be all-consuming, leaving many in search of the elusive “work/life balance.”  In this presentation, Dr. Eric Kaufman highlights insights from tragic events in his family that directed him to key opportunities for integrating, juggling, and prioritizing various demands on time.  Kaufman is a tenured professor and Extension specialist at Virginia Tech, where he teaches and studies leadership in the Department of Agricultural, Leadership, and Community Education.  Because there is no magic formula, Eric will draw upon the scholarship associated with work/life balance and invite participants to share their own insights and challenges for discussion.  Although Kaufman’s experience is within an academic career, the strategies he highlights are relevant for professionals in a variety of settings.
  • #4 Note: I’ve been mistaken for a freshman; I’m still learning too.
  • #5 “Work-life balance sets an unrealistic expectation of keeping different roles in steady equilibrium. Instead, strive for work-life rhythm. Each week has a repeating pattern of beats—job, family, friends, health, hobbies—that vary in accent and duration.” Adam Grant https://twitter.com/adammgrant/status/1044945289038028800?lang=en
  • #6 "Balance, when you really look at it, leads to stasis. It’s not a healthy way to move through life, it’s a method to keep things at bay." - Marcus Buckingham https://www.marcusbuckingham.com/rwtb/lie-8/ https://player.vimeo.com/video/323918409?autoplay=0&autopause=0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=ijEl094JAHk
  • #7 Work life is part of life, but not your whole life.
  • #8 https://qz.com/work/1349189/are-you-an-integrator-or-a-segmentor-knowing-the-answer-can-help-with-work-life-balance/ Are you more of an integrator or a segmentor? How have your preferences and habits changed over time?
  • #9 Give them time to write their answers; then encourage a few to share their responses. Be sure to connect with my experience of Shevon’s car accident and the livestock show that weekend.
  • #10 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/when-work-takes-over-your-life-adam-grant/ https://www.ted.com/talks/worklife_with_adam_grant_when_work_takes_over_your_life/transcript?language=en “Preventing work from overtaking your life seems harder than ever. But it might actually be easier than you think.” You want to set boundaries, but you also want to be responsive and accessible. How do you strike a balance between the two?
  • #11 Note: Picture on right was taken 2.5 weeks after the accident. While Shevon was still unconscious, she had been upgraded.
  • #12 Video length: 3:15 https://www.facebook.com/ekkaufman1/videos/10151596140603832/
  • #13 Ask participants to share their list in the chat window. Then, group and prioritize as needed.
  • #14 Excerpt from Life@Work GroupZine, the art of balance “The essence of juggling, then, is the ability to realize that we have multiple balls in the air, each of which is important to the overall make-up of our lives, while recognizing that the ball we have in our hand at any given moment—for whatever length of time—is the one we need to ‘influence’ or concentrate on.” – Steven R. Graves Additional resource on Michael Moschen: https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_moschen_juggles_rhythm_and_motion?language=en#t-50924
  • #15 Highlight over-commitment in college and how it forced me to delegate and trust
  • #16 Note the small group study/discussions with Rick and graduate students (2006)
  • #17 https://hbr.org/2019/03/as-your-team-gets-bigger-your-leadership-style-has-to-adapt
  • #18 These are concepts brought up by Stephen Covey, the author of "The 7 habits of highly effective people". Urgent matters, such as a ringing telephone, may grab our attention. However we should make sure that we have a clear view on the important issues and reprioritize as needed. Schedule family time just like you schedule work appointments (e.g., weekly breakfasts with my children and wife) Video length: 2:38 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwkOMqKqLtc http://smmbc.ca/newsletter-12.htm https://www.ppoe.at/scoutdocs/series/sa_fs/fs_johari.pdf
  • #19 Don't try to find the perfect ratio for time allocation, but look for synergy instead
  • #20 http://qpolitical.com/real-reason-chick-fil-closes-sunday-will-blow-mind/
  • #21 Introduce opportunity with residential college. Share story of how I decided to pursue the opportunity. Highlight image from HRC Super Bowl party: point out Sara lounging in chair at right and Shevon talking to Joseph at top left https://vtnews.vt.edu/articles/2015/08/081815-dsa-facultyprincipals.html
  • #22 DOI: 10.2307/3094827 https://www.jstor.org/stable/3094827 Note the value of tapping into others’ strengths, and accepting the help of family and friends. There is no way to recover the lost time. And, if we are not careful, our relationships can enter a “death spiral” with no hope of recovery. (Too many marriages end this way, and relationships between children and parents can have the same fate.)
  • #23 Avoid living a double life Involve family when you can
  • #24 Why consistency matters in Relations and Leadership - Simon Sinek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njeAb4CLQeI Video length: 4:36 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5OV3RmXhbg https://iamfearlesssoul.com/simon-sinek-real-reason-people-fall-and-stay-in-love/ “Being intense all the time on any activity creates diminishing returns. We need to find that point where the benefit is maximized.” - https://j2-solutions.com/ffft-intensity-vs-consistency/
  • #25 Share the story of our first anniversary—chaperoning a chapter FFA officer retreat. I now do a better job of blocking time on my calendar to spend with my wife and children. The photo on the left is from an Alaskan cruise for our 15th wedding anniversary. The photo on the right is from a Christmas Eve service.
  • #26 Make sure you love what you do. Discuss the benefits of paying others to fulfill household duties. https://hbr.org/ideacast/2019/01/use-your-money-to-buy-happier-time Note: Virginia Tech’s cost to employ me (including all benefits) is more than $50 per hour. With that in mind, I should be comfortable paying others to do work I don’t enjoy, as long as I am paying them less than $50 per hour. Sometimes I mowed the lawn anyway, because I had a personal benefit of doing that. Other times, it was better for me to pay someone to mow the lawn.
  • #27 , such as meeting a friend for dinner, as well as activities that are necessary for keeping yourself happy and in working condition, such as going for a run and getting enough sleep each night.... Begin by focusing on the task in hand for just 15 minutes, because anyone can commit to that amount of time. It’s all about making a start, rather than aiming to finish.” http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20190322-why-prioritising-fun-over-work-will-stop-procrastination https://www.njlifehacks.com/the-unschedule-procrastination/ https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/theres-one-thing-more-valuable-than-our-time-thats-who-john-hall/
  • #28 https://ideas.ted.com/i-believe-in-work-life-jenga-not-work-life-balance-heres-how-stacey-abrams-gets-things-done/
  • #29 https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/28/smarter-living/productivity-isnt-about-time-management-its-about-attention-management.html
  • #31 Supplemental resources: The Empty Pickle Jar, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoxup9cy07M Randy Pausch on Time Management, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r0uOaBhHvs Priorities of Life, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqBwswtK4U0