Work Life Balance Right Exe Connect

Maintaining Balance
While Moving Toward Our Dreams and Goals
ExeConnect Session at Right Management
With Michael Beasley, Ph.D.

Slides available on Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/mikebeasley

Also seen in my Youtube presentation: Accessed through my LinkedIn profile.

Copyright 2000, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2012 Career-Crossings.

Agenda
• Part I: Mental/Emotional/Spiritual Self-
Care Practices to Maintain Balance.
• Part II: Planning for a Balanced Life.


Part I:
Mental/Emotional/Spiritual Self-Care
Practices to Maintain Balance.


Career Transition Challenges
Both Real and Perceived
• Your Destination: Where you’ve been /
where you’re going.
• The economy
• Your age
• Your level
• Your industry / field of expertise
• What else is going on in your life


Why is it important to maintain
life balance?


Other Reasons it’s Important
Daniel Goleman, Working With Emotional Intelligence.
• Leadership success is largely an emotional intelligence.
Some estimates put it as high as 90%.
– Failed leaders were too critical, moody, angry,
defensive, and lacking empathy. (Birkman Reference)
• All interaction can be gauged along a continuum from
emotionally toxic to nourishing. Emotionally intelligent
people are aware of that,
– and consequently, so are the people around them.
• I.Q. is about 24 points higher now than in 1918. However,
E.Q. is down compared to the last generation.
– Why do you think that is?
• E.Q. predicts higher performance 3 times better than I.Q.

Birkman reference
If you have taken the Birkman, these sections will
potentially give you more words to describe:

• You when you are in a balanced state – Your Usual Style.
• What you need to remain in a balanced state – Your Needs.
• How you behave or feel when you are out of balance –
Your Stress Behavior. (This is what others see in you)

Introductions (2 minutes or less)
• Name
• What’s next in your career? (Reference 4 box chart if appropriate)
– What you did in your past job?
– What you’re aiming for in your next job?
• What drew you to attend the session today.
• Tell one thing you do to build/maintain your mental/emotional or
spiritual strength?
– Maybe a specific thing you do to address a specific issue –
sleepless night, getting rejected from a job interview, etc.
– Maybe of a more general nature – go for a weekend bike ride,
walk to clear my mind
• (Optional) Accomplishment you’re proud of that demonstrates you
are an emotionally balanced person – Good Emotional Intelligence?


What has your emotional “temperature”
reading been lately, on a scale of 0 to 10?

-10- Couldn’t feel better!
-9-
-8-
-7- The magic formula:
-6- - How do I feel?
- What am I going to
-5- do to feel better?
-4-
-3-
-2-
-1-
-0- Feel hopeless

Some of the aspects of Mental/Emotional/Spiritual
well being and overall balance:
• “Being” as well as “doing”
• Letting go as well as taking direct
action
• Taking care of oneself as well as
taking care of others
• Getting support from others as well
as acting independently
• Imagining the future as well as taking
action on what’s in front of you
• Taking care of the body as well as Staying in balance
taking care of the mind is a never ending
• Playing as well as working process. . . . . . . . .
• Time alone as well as time with Enjoy the Ride!
others

Menu of Practices to Build/Maintain Mental/Emotional/Spiritual
Core Strength. (Choose the ones that work for you.)
 Honor your needs: How do I feel? What do I need to do to feel better?
 Take direct action on the matter(s).
 Determine priorities, focus on them, and let go of the rest for now.
 Get organized / Get re-organized: Write / re-write your todo list.
 Prayer, mediation or other mental / emotional / spiritual practices.
 Talk to a trusted friend, career coach, counselor, therapist, spiritual leader.
 Gain comfort from supportive family and friends.
 Avoid people who drag you down.
 Meditative activities like: Being in nature; walks in your neighborhood, the
forest, at the ocean; bike riding; swimming
 Have unscheduled / “do nothing” time: Have a balance of “be” and “do”.
 Journaling.
 Positive self talk. (Example: “At least I tried”.)
 Forgive yourself: Take the word “should have” out of your vocabulary.
 Gratitude list / (Variation: List past surprise successes, events that came
out of nowhere that made you happy).
 Positive quotes like “Wishbone, Backbone, Funnybone” Riba Mcintyre.
 Personal rituals daily or before special events like interviews.


Menu of Practices (continued)
 Visualize yourself in a balanced state / Visualize other things you
want in your life. Could verbalize this through affirmations.
 Personal care: Dress in your favorite clothes, candles, soothing
music, get a massage, get a facial.
 Get plenty of rest and sleep.
 Eat nutritious foods.
 Consider minimizing alcohol consumption.
 Consider minimizing caffeine .
 Physical exercise; stretching / yoga.
 Take a temporary break from that aspect of life and focus on another
part of life.
 Play / have some fun.
 Weekend getaway or longer vacation.
 Feed your mind with uplifting / inspirational information: Readings-
spiritual or religious, movies, music, books, lectures, sermons.
 “Be there” for someone else.
 If you feel insecure about what others have that you don’t have, see
them as a model for what you want.
 Turn off the news media when you’re overloaded.
 Take it one day at a time.

Mental/Emotional Core Strength: What
will I do to build/maintain mine?
Exercise: Using the previous “Menu of Practices” (updated with the
ones you do that are not on the list), check off the actions that might
uplift you over the next few days/weeks. If you gave yourself a high
emotional temperature rating, check off the actions that might help to
keep you at that high level.
Suggestion 1: Over time, notice which “Practices” are working for
you and turn them into “Routine Practices”. You may need to
change up your routine from time to time!
Suggestion 2: Identify some “Routine Practices” for dealing with
the “dark days”.

Try this “Check in With Yourself” routine practice: If you’re feeling
especially down, in order to see what’s working for you, every day take
your “emotional temperature”, and keep a record of your emotional
temperature reading in your journal. At the same time, document the
“Self Care Actions” that you implemented that day. Soon you’ll gain
confidence in what’s working and what’s not working for you, and feel
the pride of having gotten through a difficult time.
Copyright 2000, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2012 Career-Crossings,

Mental/Emotional/Spiritual practices can
help to tame the Gremlin / Negative Voice

What lies
does your gremlin
tell you?


Part II:
Planning for a Balanced Life.


Life Balance Categories
(Choose wording and identify categories that fit for you.)

Profession / Career
Vocation / Job
Home /
Finances / Money
Surroundings

Play / Fun
Fitness /
Leisure /
Health
Entertainment

Relationships:
•Significant Other Mental /
•Children Emotional /
•Parents / Siblings Community Spiritual
•Friends Service /
Volunteering


Planning for a Balanced Life:
The parts of the plan

• Dream Statements
• Goals
• Todo’s
• Routine Actions (Habits)


Dream Statement Examples – Rough Draft
Include what you want as well as what you already have.
• Profession / Vocation • Fitness / Health
– To land a VP level position…. – To maintain my current fitness
– To live and work abroad. level.
– To find a job that I love and that – To remain in extraordinarily
offers me an opportunity to learn excellent health.
and grow. • Home / Surroundings
– To have a short commute to work, – For my home to be clean,
or to work from home. organized, beautiful and
– To be recognized as an outstanding maintained.
manager. • Mental / Emotional / Spiritual
– To be trusted as a leader based on – To keep things simple and
my past technical skills. uncomplicated.
– To lead through example as a – To maintain a positive, optimistic
manager who likes to “get my and hopeful outlook.
hands dirty” doing technical work. – To enjoy exercise (like biking) that
– To have close, caring, and is also meditative.
respectful relationships at work. • Relationships: Significant other;
– To stay current in my field. Children; Parents / Siblings; Friends
– To have my own business. – To maintain a positive relationship
• Finances with my siblings.
– To have my profession provide for • Play / Leisure / Entertainment
me abundantly. – To compete professionally in
– To have my mortgage paid in full. couples dancing.
– To have financial independence.

Dreams: Key Points Regarding Dreams
Dreams are our wishes, wants, fantasies and desires.
• Dreams are a natural part of life.
• It is natural for fears and doubts to come up when writing
down our dreams. The gremlin may show up.
• Distant dreams can be more “fuzzy” and the details for
accomplishing them may be unknown.
• Dreams become clearer as next step goals are followed.
• Dreams are about creation and creation can be messy.
• Writing down dreams helps to clarify them.


Why Dream?
Why Write Down Our Dreams?
• Dreams provide the big picture of our lives as a step before
defining goals
• Getting clear can impact clarity of priorities.
• Following dreams leads to satisfaction and life balance.
• Dreams help us to define our future.
• Dreams help us to define the next steps/goals for moving
into our future.
• Dreams provide, hope, motivation, and excitement.
• Our dreams inspire others.


Dream Exercise: Write down your dreams
Instructions – Part 1:
1. Using the Life Balance Categories, write dream
statements for each category of life.
2. Write as many as you want. Try for at least one per
category for this exercise. (Add more later.)

1. Meet with a partner and review your dream
statements to get feedback and ideas.

A suggested practice: Regularly revisit
and refine your dream statements.

Dreams: Potential practices and actions
to Support you in Progressing Toward
Your Dreams
1. Have fun with the process!
2. The “Harry Potter’s closet” practice: Go to a quiet / private
place to dream and write them down before sharing with
others. Be selective about who you share your dreams with.
3. Shared Dreams: For significant people in your lives, dream
together.
4. Individual Dreams: Gain support from significant people in
your lives.
5. Dream affirmations.
6. Dream Story Board.
7. Dream folders to collect articles, etc.
8. Read “Oh the Places you’ll go” by Dr. Suess. See reading list
for other books. It’s a fun playful book as you might expect.


Shared Dreams and goals
• Share your dreams and goals with those
who are significant in your life (spouse,
children, others) at the time that’s
appropriate for you.
• Enlist the support of others who are in
your life for the dreams and goals that are
individual to you.


Goals


Goals: Key Points Regarding Achieving Goals
Goals are the parts of the dreams that are materializing.

Why is it important to achieve goals?
• Allows us to progress in our lives.
• Helps us to believe in ourselves. Gives us confidence.
• Encourages us to believe in our dreams.
• Helps others to believe in and be a part of our dreams.
• Helps others to participate in our dreams.
• Helps us to grow even when we don’t achieve a goal.


Goals - Priorities: What areas of your life will be
your priority for the next few months / weeks?

Factors Impacting priorities
• Other important priorities in our life (Life Happens!)
• The clarity of our dreams.
• Pressure from peers, family, society.
• Background and experience.
• Belief in the possibility.
• Fear of the dream / Fear of not doing it.
• I’m not sure if I want it. Changed my mind.


Goals – Priorities: What areas of your life will be
your priority for the next few months / weeks?
Exercise: Identify Your Current Priorities (Individually)
• Use the Life Balance Chart for reference. Based on what’s going on now in
your life and what you anticipate, for the next __________months / weeks,
identify the areas of your life that seem to be the ones that you need to give
your attention at this time? Jot down notes and ideas for the goals that come
into your mind.
Exercise: Meet with a partner and review:
• Your priorities for the next ___months/weeks.
• Some of the goals you have in mind.
• **Note: Partners ask probing questions to help them gain clarity about
what’s best for them.
Exercise for later:
• Think more about this over the next few days / weeks. Consider writing
goals for all of the categories of your life, for approximately a 1 year period.
Label the ones you want to focus on during this current period in your life.


Goal Writing Exercise for later: Continue to
Write Your Goals.

1. Continue to write goal statements for the categories of
life that are currently your focus. Write as many goals as
you want (Be specific with dates of completion).
2. There may also be goals you’ll want to write that are
outside the categories of your current focus.
3. If you wish, write both shorter term or longer term goals.

1. Meet with a partner and review your goals to get
feedback and ideas.

Goals: Actions to support you in
achieving goals

1. Get ideas and feedback from others
2. Gratitude: Notice what “is” working
3. Celebrating
4. Quick “wins” (“Wins” provide encouragement)
5. Personal pep talk (For example: At least I tried!)
6. 15 minutes toward fame (A trick to get yourself started)
7. Relationships for emotional support and to “let down”
8. Form or become part of a coaching (ELF) group.
Continue coming to ExeConnect.


Summary: Planning for a Balanced Life

Suggested Activity: Create a Planning Binder and
update it regularly. For each category of your life,
include the following:

• Dreams
• Goals
• Todo’s
• Routine Actions (Habits)


For Further Reading
Life Balance
Goleman, Daniel, (Any of his emotional intelligence books)
Dyer, Wayne; Inspiration. (Featured on KQED)
Dyer, Wayne; Being in Balance.
Dreams and Goals
Canfield, Jack and Mark Hansen; Chicken Soup for the Soul, Unlocking the Secrets to
Living your Dreams.
Dyer, Wayne; Wishes Fulfilled. (Featured on KQED)
Dickey, R.A.; Wherever I Wind Up. (Featured on National Public Radio)
Weider, Marsha; Making Your Dreams Come True. (Offers workshops in the Bay Area.
Featured on Oprah Winfrey)
Weider, Marsha; Dreams are Whispers From the Soul.
Self Care
Venne, Veronique; The Art of Doing Nothing.
Muller, Wayne; Sabbath.
Carlson, Richard & Joseph Bailey; Slowing Down to the Speed of Life.
Other Related
Lloyd, Carol; Creating a Life Worth Living.
Dr. Seuss; Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (For fun with lots of good meaning.)

Wrap-up
What one thing are you going to do next to
maintain life balance while you advance toward
your dreams and goals?

After the session:
• Please email me about:
• How this session was for you.
• Changes you plan for better life balance.
• Make a coaching appointment with us if your
program is still active.

Thank You!
Mike Beasley

Linkedin: http://www.linkedin.com/in/mikebeasley


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