Article in The Times of Israel by Andy Blumenthal: Let’s face it, even for those in society who are proponents of pornography, not everyone would admit it if they had an addiction like that. A porn addiction invokes all sorts of social fears and anxieties about “perverts, rapists, and sexual offenders.” In fact, in a Youtube video, The Blessing of Porn Addiction, featuring Beny Schonfeld, as he walks into a recovery meeting, he describes fearing the other people he will meet there and asks, “Is that who I am?” People in our communities are going through all sorts of problems and addictions. Beny’s message is not to suffer in silence: “If you feel ashamed about what you’re doing, speak up and ask for help.”

1. 12/30/22, 5:28 PM When Unhealthy Sexuality Becomes an Addiction | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-unhealthy-sexuality-becomes-an-addiction/ 1/6
THE BLOGS
Andy Blumenthal
Leadership With Heart
When Unhealthy
Sexuality Becomes an
Addiction
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2. 12/30/22, 5:28 PM When Unhealthy Sexuality Becomes an Addiction | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-unhealthy-sexuality-becomes-an-addiction/ 2/6
Photo by Charcoal Soul via Flickr Creative Commons: https://flic.kr/p/7ZxCPG
At a South Florida Chabad synagogue during Shabbat Kiddush, I find myself
sitting across from a couple, Beny Schonfeld and his wife. Casually, in
conversation, I was surprised to learn that Beny was a recovering porn addict
who recently spoke at the synagogue about his experiences.
We don’t know how common porn addiction is in the Jewish community because
it’s a taboo subject that’s rarely, if ever, talked about. However, the Journal of
Psychosexual Health says that porn is pretty common in society as a whole:
Honestly, I had heard of smoking, alcohol, and drug addictions in the Jewish
community. I would even imagine that there is a fair amount of work, social
media, and gaming addiction nowadays. However, until Beny, I had never heard
[The] Study reports that 58% of men view pornography weekly and 87% at
least monthly; while the prevalence of pornography addiction ranges from
4.5% to 9.8%.
“

3. 12/30/22, 5:28 PM When Unhealthy Sexuality Becomes an Addiction | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-unhealthy-sexuality-becomes-an-addiction/ 3/6
of anyone being so open about their personal experiences with an addiction like
pornography.
In terms of the impact of pornography, the American Psychological
Association presents two sides to consider:
Let’s face it, even for those in society who are proponents of pornography, not
everyone would admit it if they had an addiction like that. A porn addiction
invokes all sorts of social fears and anxieties about “perverts, rapists, and sexual
offenders.” In fact, in a Youtube video, The Blessing of Porn Addiction, featuring
Beny Schonfeld, as he walks into a recovery meeting, he describes fearing the
other people he will meet there and asks, “Is that who I am?”
However, just viewing pornography does not mean that people will act out as
dangerous deviants, perverts, or sexual predators. According to The Recovery
Village, there are three levels of porn viewing in order of severity:
1. Recreational Viewers: 75% of viewers include many women or those in
relationships and who watch for about 24 minutes a week as entertainment or
to enhance their sexual relationships.
2. Highly Distressed, Non-Compulsive Viewers: 13% of viewers tend to be
single and who watch about 17 minutes a week for self-soothing or because of
a lack of fulfilling relationships.
3. Compulsive Viewers: 12% of viewers are mostly men (but also women) who
watch on average 110 minutes a week, and can interfere with relationships
Opponents argue that it can ruin marriages, lead to sexual addiction or other
unhealthy behaviors, and encourage sexual aggression. Proponents claim
that erotica can enhance sex lives, provide a safe recreational outlet and
perhaps even reduce the incidence of sexual assault.”
“

4. 12/30/22, 5:28 PM When Unhealthy Sexuality Becomes an Addiction | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-unhealthy-sexuality-becomes-an-addiction/ 4/6
and life functioning.
In My Jewish Learning, it is stressed that, from a traditional Jewish perspective,
all forms of pornography are forbidden. Halacha (Jewish law), which emphasizes
modesty and privacy, strictly forbids pornography and the impure thoughts and
actions (such as sex offenses) that it can lead to. Moreover, biblically, the
mitzvah of tzitzit fringes (Numbers 15:3) is seen as a physical and spiritual
reminder not to follow the lusting of your heart and eyes, as personified by the
depiction of sexually explicit display, behavior, or material.
In Beny’s case, he witnessed a sexual assault at the very tender age of eight,
following which a friend showed him an explicit movie a few years later. These
traumatic and incomprehensible experiences for a young child were
compounded by his parents’ divorce at home. For whatever reason, porn became
his way of coping. With the advent of online 24×7 on-demand pornography, his
problems worsened.
Eventually Beny found someone he cared about, and when he got married at a
young age, he thought that this would also “fix” the problem. However, this was
not the case. Fortunately, when Beny ultimately reached out for help, he was
able to safely face his trauma and work through it. Of course, Beny
acknowledges that it is a lifelong journey to wellness.
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5. 12/30/22, 5:28 PM When Unhealthy Sexuality Becomes an Addiction | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-unhealthy-sexuality-becomes-an-addiction/ 5/6
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Andy Blumenthal is a dynamic, award-winning leader who writes frequently about Jewish life,
culture, and security. All opinions are his own.
More than that, despite the hardship that addiction has brought him, Beny feels
uniquely blessed to have the insight as well as the commitment to help others.
He is particularly concerned that young people have too easy access to adult
material and that real safeguards for their protection are needed.
Many people would not have the courage of this person to come forward, speak
up, and to sacrifice his own time and image to try to help others confront this
important issue and its relationship to healthy sexuality and emotional and
spiritual well-being.
People in our communities are going through all sorts of problems and
addictions. Beny’s message is not to suffer in silence: “If you feel ashamed about
what you’re doing, speak up and ask for help.”
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