The document discusses how relationship mistakes can actually help with future relationship success. It argues that people who learn from their mistakes do better than those who dwell on them. Making mistakes provides opportunities to develop important relationship skills like forgiveness of oneself and others. Struggles and overcoming problems together also make relationships stronger by building communication and teamwork skills needed to face adversity. Rather than viewing mistakes as failures, one should see them as learning experiences and a badge of experience.

1. What Your Relationship Mistakes Say about You
January 01, 2022
An article from James Bauer[1]
"Do you worry much?
One of the things I see a lot in my coaching practice is worry about relationship decisions and
relationship mistakes from the past.
Many of the women I talk to worry they’ve made the wrong choices. Stayed in the wrong
relationship too long. Let go of the wrong guy. Put o looking for Mr. Right until it was too late.

2. They re worried they re going to pay a steep price for what they ve done. They don t know if they ll
ever get the love they desire, and it’s all because of what happened in the past. If only they could go
back and do it all over again!
No doubt about it, making mistakes hurts.
But if that’s all you focus on—the pain of past mistakes—your beliefs become a self-fulfilling
prophecy. Life becomes harder. Your past sabotages you at every turn.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could wave a magic wand and make all your past mistakes go away?
You don’t need a magic wand. You have all the power you need, right inside your own mind.
I’m going to show you how every mistake you’ve ever made in love can actually boost you towards
greater
relationship
success
.All it takesisasimpleswitchinperspective…
Your mistakes do not make you a failure.
They’re your badge of experience, and here’s why.
1. People who learn from their mistakes do better than people who beat themselves up over
them.
It’s a myth that there’s anyone out there who never makes stupid mistakes.
Even women in dream marriages will tell you quite frankly that they’ve made more than their fair

3. share of mistakes. It was a long road to get to where they are now. They know just how lucky they
are.
But luck didn’t have as much to do with it as they think.
I’ve found that how successful a person is in relationships strongly correlates to how they feel about
mistakes, whether their own or someone else’s.
If you feel that your mistakes make you less worthy as a person, then you’ll find relationships more
difficult. You’ll feel enormous pressure to do everything right. You’ll beat yourself up over the
slightest misstep. Being in a relationship will make you feel anxious, stressed, and worried. There’s
just so much that could go wrong.
If, on the other hand, you look on each mistake as a learning experience, you’ll find relationships
much easier. You’ll find it easier to relax and be yourself. You’ll be more accepting of all the ways in
which life doesn’t go as planned. He’ll love the way you can laugh at yourself without taking yourself
too seriously. It shows how confident you are—and makes you pretty cool, too.
2. Being able to forgive yourself makes you better able to forgive others.
The more mistakes you make—and the bigger they are—the more opportunities you have to
cultivate the skill of forgiveness.
Have you ever noticed how it’s easier to forgive other people than it is to forgive yourself?
We understand that not everyone can be perfect, but we won’t let ourselves o the hook.
So, if you can forgive yourself for all the dumb things you’ve ever done, then it follows that you’ll be
really good at forgiving him for doing stupid things.
Forgiveness is an essential relationship skill. One study found couples who managed to stay
married for over 20 years had ten clearly defined traits that set them apart—and the ability to
forgive and be forgiven was on the list.[2]

4. 3. Mistakes make your relationship stronger.
Another myth that leads us astray is the notion that we should aim for relationships that never have
any problems.
We want smooth sailing. We don’t want anything to upset the apple cart. Surely the perfect
relationship is the one where nothing goes wrong … or is it?
If you’re aiming for a long-term relationship, then you won’t be able to avoid challenges. Even if
you’re the most well-matched couple on the planet, life will throw obstacles in your way. From
financial struggles to health issues, problems are a normal part of most relationships.
And that’s a good thing.
Working through problems together is how we exercise our relationship muscles. We learn how to
listen to one another, respect one another’s point of view, and move forward as a team.
Couples without problems never get that chance. Something big happens, and they can’t cope.
They’ve never developed the skills to face adversity together.

5. So be more gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. They’re your greatest teachers.
[1]James Bauer the author of the bestselling His Secret Obsession and What Men Secretly Want courses. His website
moto, “Be Irresistible” reflects something important that he’d like to share with you. It’s at the core of what he teaches as a
dating and relationship coach.
Being irresistible is about a special set of qualities that emanate from feelings of happiness, true confidence, and a kind of
inner beauty that pulls at a man’s heartstrings.
[2] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232460879_Characteristics_of_long-term_ rst_marriages