To President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. of PhilippinesFrom Tori .docx

To: President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. of Philippines
From: Tori Rocamontes, Farah Itani, Hogan Lee, Maeve
Murphy-Estus, Yusuf
Hussein
Date: 12/05/2022
RE: Improving the Democratization in Philippines
The Philippines has a unitary presidential republic based
political system where there
are three branches of government: presidential for executive,
congress for legislative,
and a supreme court for judiciary1. While this country shares
the same structure of
recognizable democratic countries, the Philippines has been
struggling with maintaining
this identity, those issues will be detailed in this memo as well
as recommendations for
improving and maintaining democracy in the Philippines.
Current State of Democracy and Democratization in Philippines
The Philippines is a state that is experiencing a breakdown in
democracy, and is sliding
backwards into nondemocratic rule. From 1986 up until 2022,
the Philippines has been
run by individuals who believe in democracy. On May 9th of
2022, Ferdinand Marcos Jr
was elected president of the Philippines. The shift from
democratic to nondemocratic
starts with the new President. Ferdinand Marcos Jr is a
descendant of the Marcos
family, which took charge of the Philippines in 1965 and turned
the state into an

authoritarian dictatorship. When Marcos Jr’s father, Ferdinand
Marcos Sr, was removed
from office in 1986, the people of the Philippines referred to the
time period as
“re-democratization”.2 Since the removal of Marcos Sr, the
Philippines experienced a
great shift towards democracy. There have been many
individuals who have assumed
the role of president since Marcos Sr, and they all helped the
Philippines undergo
democratization. However, with the recent election of Marcos
Jr, these democratic
efforts will slowly disappear. Marcos Jr has pledged to reignite
his father’s legacy; his
critics counter this by emphasizing that he will deepen
corruption and tighten political
grip on state institutions.3 The Filipino government regularly
conducts elections, which
contributes to their historically democratic way of government.
As the result of an
election, a ruler, which has a high chance for corruption and
authoritarianism, was
elected. This contradicts the idea that elections make a state a
democracy.4 The
Philippines has a long way to go to get back to their democratic
way of government.
Philippines and Dahl’s Polyarchy Components
4 Schmitter, Philippe and Terry Lynn Karl. 1991. “What
Democracy Is...and Is Not.”Journal of Democracy.
1991: 75-88.
3 Heydarian, Richard Javad. “The Return of the Marcos
Dynasty.” Journal of Democracy. Johns Hopkins
University Press, July 20, 2022.

https://muse.jhu.edu/article/860245/pdf.
2 “Filipino Elections and 'Illiberal' Democracy - University of
the ...” Accessed October 29, 2022.
https://cids.up.edu.ph/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Filipino-
Elections-and-Illiberal-Democracy-vol.2-no.3-J
uly-Sep-1998.pdf.
1 Wikipedia. “Politics of the Philippines.” Wikipedia.
Wikimedia Foundation, October 6, 2022.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics_of_the_Philippines.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics_of_the_Philippines
In the Philippines, the elites have kept their control through the
harassment of
opposition leaders5. This means that the Philippines is
struggling with the second and
fifth components of Dahl's Polyarchy. The opposition leaders
have been arrested or
threatened with the possibility of being arrested if they disagree
with the reigning
political power. This is an issue because it causes no political
progression in the
government. The consequences would be leading to a party that
has political power for
a significant period of time, people may fear the consequences
of not voting in
elections, and the elections are concentrated on a small handful
of powerful families
that control the turnout of the election and contribute the most
amount of money for the
elector’s campaign. Since the party is concentrated in the few
elite, it allows for
corruption in who maintains power of the government. Filipino

society is at risk for their
lives because the government plans to attack the people that
disagree with their values.
Secondly, the Philippines struggles with Dahl’s sixth
component because it does not
allow for freedom to seek out other sources in the media. The
attacks range to people
that are activists, leaders, journalists and more. This means that
people are unable to
have true and differing sources because the media is being
targeted if it does not agree
with the current leader’s view. There are little to no resources
available for the public to
condemn the people in power or for them to protect themselves
from the head of
government. People fear that if they disagree with the
government, then they could be a
victim of violence from the government. According to Freedom
House, journalists are at
the highest risk because the president states dangerous and ill
statements toward the
media. These, as stated before, are physical and verbal attacks.
The president has
assassinated members of society that have publically gone
against his opinion.
President Duerte has struggled with the last of Dahl’s
components by not allowing the
forming of groups without being a target of his violence. As
stated before, he attacks
and assassinates members of human rights groups and civil
society. This means that
groups do not have the freedom to associate without the fear of
death from President
Duerte.
Factors Contributing to Philippines’ Democratization Struggle

Internally, the Philippines have suffered with widespread
corruption. This corruption is
mainly associated with public and governmental services.
Within the police services and
the state’s judicial system, there has been a clear lack of human
rights, bribery, and
even impunity. Police services being bribed by big tycoons have
damaged the
reputation and credibility of the government public services. It
has led to increased
crimes and more violent behavior within the population,
decreasing the quality and
standard of life. Low infrastructure and other factors combined
with high crime rates due
to a lack of genuine police service leads to a slow
modernization rate. The “war on
drugs” hasn’t helped out much either in contributing positively
to the standard of living
for the Philippines.6 Although the many people being killed is a
tragedy in itself due to
them being drug addicts, the more horrendous effect however is
the kids that are left
behind. The children of those victims are left to deal with
psychological stress, financial
struggles, and bullying in their schools. Even though the effects
of children not receiving
6 Wikimedia Foundation. (2022, October 27). Philippine Drug
War. Wikipedia. Retrieved November 28,
2022, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_drug_war
5 “Philippines: Country Profile.” Freedom House,
https://freedomhouse.org/country/philippines.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_drug_war
https://freedomhouse.org/country/philippines

the proper education may not be seen as a current issue, later on
when the children
grow up to be in the workforce, they are less prepared and more
likely less skilled to do
those jobs. That is even considering if they don’t end up falling
into drugs and end up
unfortunately not making it to adulthood as well. This low
replacement rate for the
workforce in the Philippines leaves many open questions for the
economy. Moreover,
nepotism and favoritism within the government decreases the
freedom that the public in
the Philippines hold.7 Using a Padrino system, Philippine’s
political system is mainly
held by an alliance of families which demonstrates the very idea
of nepotism. By
restricting who even gets elected as a government official based
on blood and not by
merit, has the overall idea of democratization to be questioned
within the Philippines.
Fused with the primary idea of nepotism within the government,
the public and
government officials are punished and even executed if they
disagree with the ideals of
the family hierarchy. In recent years, the Philippines have
distanced themselves more
from western countries and showed more support for countries
such as Israel, Kosovo,
and Iran. This path of democracy growing at a slower rate in the
Philippines has led to
them becoming more of a questionable trade partner for other
countries that could
possibly help the economy of the Philippines in the long run.8

Policy Recommendation for Change
8 Wikimedia Foundation. (2022, November 25). Foreign
relations of the Philippines. Wikipedia. Retrieved
November 28, 2022, from
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_relations_of_the_Philippi
nes
7 Wikimedia Foundation. (2022, October 29). Corruption in the
Philippines. Wikipedia. Retrieved
November 28, 2022, from
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_in_the_Philippines
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_relations_of_the_Philippi
nes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corruption_in_the_Philippines
Touchstones are projects that illustrate your comprehension of
the course material, help you to refine skills, and demonstrate
application of knowledge. You
can work on a Touchstone anytime, but you can't submit it for
grading until you have completed the unit’s Challenges. After
you've submitted a Touchstone, it
will be graded and counted towards your final course score.
Touchstone 1: Narrative Essay
ASSIGNMENT: Write a narrative essay using the techniques
and elements of narrative writing that you have learned in this
unit. Your essay must be
approximately 500-800 words long.

growth, all essays you submit must be newly written
specifically for this course. Any recycled
work will be sent back with a 0, and you will be given one
attempt to redo the Touchstone.
A. Instructions
Choose a topic that enables you to tell a short, interesting
personal story. Your story can be funny, suspenseful,
meaningful, or exciting, but it must focus on
one event. For example, if you decide to write about traveling to
Denmark, you should not write about the entire trip. Choose one
event (e.g., an afternoon
you spent bicycling on an island, or your first taste of smoked
herring, or your visit to the childhood home of Hans Christian
Anderson) and tell a detailed story
that focuses on that event.
The following are some ideas that can help you to select a topic
for your story:
• Firsts: Think of a "first" in your life and describe that moment
in detail.
• Proud Moment: Choose a moment when you felt proud about
an accomplishment.
• Adversity: Describe a time when you had to think or act
quickly to overcome a challenge.

• Travel: Recall a memorable experience you had while visiting
an interesting place.
B. Think About Your Writing
Below your completed narrative, include answers to all of the
following reflection questions:
1. Which narrative techniques did you use to bring your story to
life? (2-3 sentences) Sophia says: Did you use vivid description,
sensory details, and/or
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When you’re ready to upload your document, click here.
SUBMIT TOUCHSTONE
-7 business days for a Touchstone to be graded once
it's been submitted.
UNIT 1 — TOUCHSTONE 1: Narrative Essay
SCORE
-/50
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dialogue to engage readers? Provide two examples from your
essay in which you “show” readers rather than “tell” them.
EXAMPLE: A sentence such as "I
glanced at the clock, grabbed my briefcase, and sprinted for the
elevator" uses more descriptive language than simply saying, "I
was running late for the
meeting."
2. How did your purpose and audience shape the way in which
you wrote your narrative? (3-4 sentences) Sophia says: Your
hypothetical audience extends
beyond the people who will evaluate your narrative. Which
individuals or groups were you addressing when you wrote your
narrative, and how did
consideration of your audience and your purpose influence the
way in which you wrote it?
3. Provide a concrete example from your narrative that shows
how you have written specifically for this audience and
purpose. (3-5 sentences) Sophia
says: Consider including a quotation from your essay and
explaining how it was written to appeal to your audience, and to
accomplish your purpose.
Alternatively, you might describe a theme, tone, or narrative
technique that you used and explain how it was intended to
appeal to your audience and achieve

your purpose.
C. Narrative Guidelines
DIRECTIONS: Refer to the checklist below throughout the
writing process. Do not submit your Touchstone until your
essay meets all of the guidelines.
Narrative Focus and Flow
❒ Are all of the details in your story relevant to your purpose?
❒ Are the events presented in a logical order that is easy to
follow?
❒ Is your story 500-800 words in length? If not, which details
do you need to add or subtract?
Narrative Structure
❒ Is there an opening paragraph that introduces the setting,
characters, and situation?
❒ Are there middle paragraphs that describe the progression of
events?
❒ Is there a closing paragraph that provides a thorough
resolution to the story?
Narrative Language and Techniques
❒ Have you incorporated narrative language and techniques
(e.g., figurative language, concrete and sensory details,
dialogue, and vivid description)?
❒ Can examples of narrative language and techniques be found

throughout your story, or are they only evident in some places?
Conventions
❒ Have you double-checked for correct grammar, punctuation,
spelling, formatting, and capitalization?
❒ Have you proofread to find and correct typos?
Before You Submit
❒ Have you included your name, date, and course in the top left
corner of the page?
❒ Have you answered all of the “Think About Your Writing”
questions?
❒ Is your essay between 500 and 800 words in length (2-3
pages)?
D. Scoring
Your composition and reflection will be scored according to the
Touchstone 1 Rubric, which evaluates the narrative focus,
narrative flow, narrative structure,
narrative language and techniques, use of conventions
(grammar, punctuation, etc.), and your answers to the “Think
About your Writing” questions above.
E. Rubric
Advanced (100%) Proficient (85%) Acceptable (75%) Needs
Improvement

(50%)
Non-Performance
(0%)
Narrative Focus
Present a focused,
meaningful narrative.
The composition is consistently
focused, and details are
relevant and specific.
The composition is focused and
details are relevant and specific.
However, a few details and
descriptions detract slightly
from the focus.
The composition is mostly
focused and the majority of
details are relevant and
specific. However, there are
several details and
descriptions that detract
from the focus.
The composition does not
have a consistent focus.
The composition exhibits no
evidence of a focus.
Narrative Flow

Tell the story using a
logical, smooth sequence
of events.
The sequence of events and
details is logical and easy to
follow throughout the
composition.
details is logical and easy to
follow throughout the
composition, with a few minor
exceptions.
details is easy to follow
throughout most of the
composition; however, some
areas are poorly sequenced
or confusing.
The events and details are
primarily poorly sequenced
and difficult to follow.
The sequence of events
and details is illogical.
Readers cannot follow the
progression of the
composition.
Narrative Structure
Develop a clear
beginning, middle, and

end.
The composition has a clear
and well-developed beginning,
middle, and end. The opening
paragraph(s) thoroughly
introduce the setting,
characters, and situation. The
middle paragraphs thoroughly
describe the progression of
events. The closing
paragraph(s) provide a
thorough resolution to the
narrative.
and sufficiently developed
beginning, middle, and end. The
opening paragraph(s)
adequately introduce the
setting, characters, and
situation. The middle
paragraphs adequately
describe the progression of
events. The closing
paragraph(s) provide an
adequate resolution to the
narrative.
beginning, middle, and end;
however, one of the three
sections is minimally
developed.
The composition lacks a

clear beginning, middle, or
end; or, two of the three
sections are minimally
developed.
The composition lacks a
clear beginning, middle, and
end; or, all three sections
are minimally developed.
Narrative Language
and Techniques
Use narrative language
and techniques
competently.
Uses narrative language and
techniques (e.g., concrete and
sensory details, figurative
language, vivid description,
dialogue, pacing, and plot
development) effectively
throughout the composition.
techniques (e.g., concrete and
sensory details, figurative
language, vivid description,
dialogue, pacing, and plot
development) effectively in the
majority of the composition.
techniques (e.g., concrete
and sensory details,

figurative language, vivid
description, dialogue,
pacing, and plot
development) effectively in
some parts of the
composition.
techniques (e.g., concrete
and sensory details,
figurative language, vivid
description, dialogue, pacing,
and plot development) rarely
in the composition.
Does not use narrative
language and techniques
(e.g., concrete and sensory
details, figurative language,
vivid description, dialogue,
pacing, and plot
development) in the
composition.
Conventions
Demonstrate command of
standard English
grammar, punctuation,
spelling, capitalization,
and usage.
There are few, if any, negligible
errors in grammar, punctuation,
formatting, and usage.

There are occasional minor
errors in grammar, punctuation,
There are some significant
errors in grammar,
punctuation, spelling,
capitalization, formatting,
and usage.
There are frequent
significant errors in grammar,
punctuation, spelling,
capitalization, formatting, and
usage.
There are consistent
significant errors in
grammar, punctuation,
Advanced (100%) Proficient (85%) Acceptable (75%) Needs
Improvement
(50%)
Non-Performance
(0%)
Think About Your
Writing

Reply to reflection
questions thoroughly and
thoughtfully.
Demonstrates thoughtful
reflection; consistently includes
insights, observations, and/or
examples in all responses.
Answers all reflection questions
effectively, following or
exceeding response length
guidelines.
Demonstrates thoughtful
reflection; includes multiple
insights, observations, and/or
examples. Answers all reflection
questions effectively, following
response length guidelines.
Primarily demonstrates
thoughtful reflection, but
some responses are lacking
in detail or insight. Answers
all reflection questions,
primarily following response
length guidelines.
Shows limited reflection; the
majority of responses are
lacking in detail or insight.
Answers reflection questions
inadequately; may not
answer all of the questions
and/or may not follow

Does not answer the
majority of reflection
questions, or the majority of
answers do not follow
F. Requirements
• Your narrative must be 500 to 800 words (approximately 2-3
pages) in length.
• Assignment guidelines must be followed or your submission
will not be graded.
• Double-space the essay and use one-inch margins.
• Use an easily-readable 12-point font.
• All writing must be appropriate for an academic context.
• Your narrative must be original and written for this
assignment.
• Plagiarism of any kind is strictly prohibited.
• Your submission must include your name, the name of the
course, the date, and the title of your composition.
• Your submission must include both your narrative and your
answers to the "Think About Your Writing" questions.
• Submit only a single file that contains all of the assignment
components.
• Acceptable file formats are .doc and .docx.

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Sophia Pathways for College Credit – English
Composition I
© 2018 Sophia Learning, LLC.
Are you ready to write Touchstone 1?
The narrative below provides an example of an advanced level
composition. As you read through the
narrative, notice the techniques that the author used to make the
story more interesting and draw you, the
reader, into the experience. Although, as with most writing,
there remains room for improvement, this sample
narrative is focused, organized, and engaging. The answers to
the reflection questions that follow the
narrative show insight into the author’s intended audience and
purpose.

Amanda Brown
English Composition
January 17, 2018
Why I Believe in Sharing Good Food
I believe in sharing meals with loved ones. Food is obviously
an important
component in keeping us alive, but in America today we have
lost the importance of food in
connecting with those around us. We’re all just grasping for the
next Big Mac or soda and
moving on with our day. I used to think that food was just
something delicious or filling, but
then I learned how good food can be at connecting people.
My mom has always been a great cook. When I was a kid, we
had a home-cooked
dinner almost every night. She calls herself a “peasant cook”
because what she makes is
not usually fancy. But still I remember crispy fried chicken
alongside creamy mashed
potatoes smothered in rich gravy or pots of spaghetti sauce that
filled the house with an
herby, tomato smell as they bubbled throughout the day. Our

house was often full of my
Comment [CS1]: This opening paragraph does a great
job
of communicating the overall significance behind
the story
you’re about to tell.
Comment [CS2]: Good use of narrative language here.
Composition I
parents’ friends, particularly after church on Sunday afternoon.
“It’s a sin to not have
enough food for people,” my mother would say, only half
joking, so peasant food or not,
there was always a lot of it. In hindsight, I see the importance
in these meals and a house
full of friends and family, but at the time I just thought it was a
part of normal life.
Everything changed when my grandfather died. I was only 20
years old. He had
always been very healthy but then cancer struck and he died far
too soon, at the age of 67.
I drove with my mom, brother, and sister from Utah to Oregon

where all my extended family
was gathering for his funeral.
“I can’t believe he’s actually gone,” said my brother, Samuel.
“Yeah, I can’t believe that when we get to this end of this trip
we’re not going to hear
Grandpa telling a bunch of crazy stories or teasing jokes,” my
mom replied.
Our drive seemed dotted with memories as much as with trees,
hills, and semi-
trucks. All of us were quiet with our own memories of spending
time with Grandpa. My
grandpa was only the second significant death in my life and it
felt very strange to lose that
important link in my family chain. At his funeral, everyone
talked about him with love and
laughed over his terrible puns, but I was too sad to laugh.
A couple of days later, most of the extended family had gone
home and my
grandparents’ house, which had been crammed to capacity,
started to have more breathing
room. We were down to just my immediate family, my uncle Joe
and his son, Luke, and my
grandmother. During this period, our huge clan had not given

much thought to eating, and
we had just been eating out or snacking as we were all so busy
and stricken with grief. But
on this last night, my uncle offered to make a big, home-cooked
dinner. As I sat down at my
Comment [CS3]: This is a good signaling phrase to
show
the reader that therewill now be a shift in the
tone and
timeline of the story.
Comment [CS4]: I really like how you combine
different
narrative techniques in this paragraph. You include
dialogue, explain your emotions, use concrete detail to
describe your surroundings, and figurative language to
enhance your descriptions. This really helps the
reader
experience the action along with you!
Comment [CS5]: You do a greatjob of focusing on
only the
relevant events, glossing over the “filler” so that
your
narrative doesn’t get off track. This really helps
with the
flow of your story.

Composition I
grandparents’ family-sized table, I heard the ocean crashing
softly outside the open
window. I then noticed the crisp green salad, loaded with fresh
lettuce, carrots, cucumbers,
green onions, and olives. Then I saw the crusty bread with white
butter and the fluffy
mashed potatoes, whipped with butter, salt, and pepper. I felt
my mouth fill with saliva
almost immediately. And then there was the fish. We were on
the coast, after all, so my
uncle baked halibut filets that were lightly crispy and perfectly
flaky. They smelled of rich
butter and just a bit of the Pacific and almost melted in my
mouth when I took a bite.
After my first bite of fish I couldn’t help groaning. “This is so,
so good.”
“Mmm hmm,” said others, diving in from places around the
table.
“You know your grandfather loved fresh fish,” my grandmother
added. “It was one of
his favorite things about living here.”

Unlike the memories at the funeral, this comment felt like it
was both true to my
grandfather’s memory and a recognition of the greatness we had
lost.
But the thing I remember even more than the food was the
connection I felt to my
family. I looked around the table and saw people that I loved,
my uncle Joe, Luke, my mom,
my little brother and sister, and, most importantly, my
grandmother, who had just lost the
love of her life. Even though we had just suffered a huge loss,
the meal felt like it was
healing us and connecting us. I remember so strongly how the
meal, the “breaking of
bread” as they say, seemed like the perfect ending to this hard
experience. This is a lesson
that I have never forgotten and now I love to share meals with
friends and family in times of
happiness and sadness. This is why I believe in sharing meals
with loved ones.
Comment [CS6]: I can almost visualize this exchange.
This
is great.
Comment [CS7]: This is a really strong
conclusion to the

story, as it ties back to the purpose of the
narrative.
Composition I
Think About Your Writing:
1. What narrative techniques did you use to bring your story to
life? (2-3 sentences)
Sophia says: Did you use vivid description, sensory details,
and/or dialogue to pull the reader in? Provide two
examples from your essay in which you “show” the reader
rather than “tell” the reader. EXAMPLE: I was
running late for the meeting vs. I glanced at the clock, grabbed
my briefcase, and sprinted for the elevator.
I really enjoy the fact that narrative writing uses figurative
language and sensory details to
make a point. It allows me to feel more creative in my writing
and allows me to have fun
with the words and phrases I use to paint a picture for the
reader. For example, I used
sensory details and vivid language in this passage to describe
some of the food: “Then I

saw the crusty bread with white butter and the fluffy mashed
potatoes, whipped with butter,
salt, and pepper. I felt my mouth fill with saliva almost
immediately.” I also used figurative
language in the following sentence to bring it to life: “Our drive
seemed dotted with
memories as much as with trees, hills, and semi-trucks.”
2. How did your purpose and audience shape the way in which
you wrote your narrative? (3-
4 sentences) Sophia says: The hypothetical audience goes
beyond the individuals evaluating your
composition. What groups or individuals did you have in mind
when you wrote your narrative and how did
consideration of your audience and purpose influence the way
you wrote?
Because of my purpose, which was to tell about how I learned
to value sharing food with
loved ones, I tried to make sure I made the food sound delicious
because that would draw
the audience in. I also wanted to tell a story that was
meaningful to me, not only in that it
involved the loss of my grandfather, who I loved, but also an
important realization for me

Composition I
about the power of food. When I was writing this narrative, I
imagined my audience as
young adults who have probably experienced the loss of a
grandparent as well.
3. Provide a concrete example from your narrative that shows
how you have directed your
writing towards this audience and purpose. (3-5 sentences)
Sophia says: Consider including a
quotation from your essay and explaining how it is intended to
appeal to your audience and purpose.
Alternatively, you may want to describe a theme, tone, or
narrative technique that you used and explain how it
is intended to appeal to your audience and purpose.
One concrete thing I did to appeal to this audience was to
mention my age when this
happened, which was 20, which is probably close to the same
age as my ideal audience. I
also included related details from when I was a child to show
how I developed from my
experiences then with the events of the narrative up to now. I

also appealed to my broader
audience by telling an experience that was important but also
common so that probably a
lot of people can relate. "And then there was the fish. We were
on the coast, after all, so my
uncle baked halibut fillets that were lightly crispy and perfectly
flaky. They smelled of rich
butter and just a bit of the Pacific and almost melted in my
mouth when I took a bite." In this
example, I wanted my reader to experience the sensations of
tasting freshly caught fish
served in a traditional way. It reinforces the idea that although
we had suffered a major loss
that we could still find comfort in food and family.
SCORING APPEARS ON THE NEXT PAGE
Composition I
SCORING for Sample Touchstone 1
The sample narrative was scored according to the Touchstone 2
Rubric, which includes Narrative Focus,

Narrative Structure, Narrative Language, Conventions, and
responses to the “Think About your Writing”
questions. This Touchstone is worth a total of 100 possible
points. The area scores are explained below.
Narrative Focus (5 possible points)
The narrative clearly sets the scene and relays the significance
of the events described, which meets the
requirements of the prompt. The writer has made a connection
between experiencing the death of a loved
one and the family gathering to share a meal together.
The details provided are relevant to the story line and support
the writer’s purpose to create a link between a
loss and a greater understanding of the bonds that are formed at
a dinner table.
Area Score: Advanced 5/5
Narrative Flow (5 possible points)
The narrative is arranged in a logical manner in which the
sequence of ideas flows naturally and is easy to
follow.
Narrative Structure (15 possible points)
The narrative has a logical flow to the events described. The

writer refers to her distant past and moves
smoothly toward events in her more recent past, and the reader
can easily follow the action. The reader
moves with the writer through her childhood memories, to her
young adult experience with loss, and then to
her eventual understanding of the importance of “breaking
bread” together.
The beginning and ending paragraphs serve as effective
bookends to the story because they reiterate the
importance of family and the connection of family to food.
Narrative Language (15 possible points)
Composition I
The writer uses sensory language to effectively describe the
food, which adds vitality to the narrative. Many
details provided are concrete and specific – “crispy fried
chicken alongside creamy mashed potatoes
smothered in rich gravy” and “They smelled of rich butter and
just a bit of the Pacific” - which draw the reader

into the story by appealing to the senses.
The reader feels a vague sense of loss at the grandfather’s death
but doesn’t really “see” him, nor sense what
he meant to the narrator. Why was he such an important link in
the family? Sharing a specific memory -
allowing readers to hear his voice or glimpse his personality -
would have “shown” rather than “told.” Use of
dialogue was minimal though effective.
Area Score: Proficient 12/15
Conventions (5 possible points)
The writer made very few capitalization, usage, or punctuation
errors and the errors did not impede the
reader’s understanding of the essay.
Area Score: Proficient 4/5
“Think About Your Writing” Responses (5 possible points)
The writer has reflected thoughtfully on the process of writing
the narrative. The writer shows insight into her
purpose in writing and demonstrates an understanding of her
intended audience as well. Response length
guidelines were met or exceeded.

TOTAL SCORE: ADVANCED 46/50
Overall, this narrative effectively tells a story that draws the
reader in. The writer remains focused throughout
the narrative, including relevant details while using a logical
progression to tell the story. The use of figurative
language, concrete description, and dialogue contribute to the
sense that the story is being “shown” rather
than told, though the narrative would benefit from more of all
of these elements. The reflection question
answers show that the writer has thoughtfully considered her
audience and purpose. All assignment
requirements have been met, and the narrative contained very
few errors.
1
“What Democracy Is…and Is Not” Country Memo +
Presentation
Group Assignment
20 points
This assignment requires you to work together in assigned
groups of 3-5 students to produce a
co-authored memo and group presentation. Your group is tasked
with advising a country
struggling with democratization on how best to make progress
in strengthening the quality of their

democracy. Groups will select an actual country currently
struggling with democratization and will
be asked to take on the role of constitutional advisors who must
produce a memo outlining the
current state of democracy in the country, identify key problem
areas preventing democratic
consolidation, pinpoint factors contributing to the country’s
issues with democratization, and make
suggestions for the country’s government on how best to
implement policies to make democratic
consolidation more likely. Groups will work collaboratively to
research and write a 2-3 single-
spaced page memo following the memo template provided by
Dr. Scott. Groups will also complete
an in-class presentation over their topic and memo on a pre-
assigned date. All memos will be due
on the date of the group’s presentation and all group
presentations will happen on Monday,
November 28.
STEP 1). I STRONGLY encourage everyone to read the
following two articles (available in TCU
Online) as well as the first half of Chapter 6 in O’Neil BEFORE
you begin serious research on
your memo:
Schmitter, Philippe and Terry Lynn Karl. 1991. “What
Democracy Is…and Is Not.” Journal of
Democracy. 1991: 75-88. In TCU Online.
Geddes, Barbara. “What Causes Democratization.” 2011. The
Oxford Handbook of Political
Science. In TCU Online. In TCU Online.
STEP 2). Memo: 15 points

After selecting the country your group wishes to study, you will
collaboratively research and write
a memo intended to identify, diagnose, and treat the
democratization struggles your country is
experiencing. All memos will focus substantively on answering
four key questions:
1. What is the current state of the country’s regime?
Because you are studying a “partly free” country, you are
examining a case in which the
state has elements of democratic government, but these
elements are weak. You will
research the quality of democracy in your country and identify
whether it is:
a. a country that has experienced a recent transition away from
nondemocracy and
towards democracy, but the transition has not yet been
successful.
b. a country that is experiencing a breakdown in democracy and
is sliding backwards into
nondemocratic rule.
c. the country has seen no recent movements to/away from
democracy, but has been
stuck at a neither fully democratic nor fully nondemocratic
system of government for a very
long time.
To answer Question 1, your group will identify which of the
above three scenarios best
describes your country, relying on the extensive use of evidence
from the Freedom House

2
report and other sources to explain why you believe your
country to be a case of either a.,
b., or c.
2. What specific challenges is the country facing that are
inhibiting the consolidation of
democracy?
In his famous book, Polyarchy, political scientist Robert Dahl
identified seven conditions
that are necessary for modern democratic governance. Based
upon your research into
your country’s regime type (you will need to look at sources
beyond the FH report) identify
which of Dahl’s conditions your country is struggling with the
most. Be specific in this
section and be sure to give specific examples, cited from
scholarly or empirical sources,
of the ways in which your country is struggling here.
Dahl’s 7 Conditions for Democracy:
a. Control over government decisions about policy is
constitutionally vested in elected
officials
b. Elected officials are chosen in frequent and fairly conducted
elections in which coercion
is comparatively uncommon
c. Practically all adults have the right to vote in the election of
officials

d. Practically all adults have the right to run for elective
offices
e. Citizens have a right to express themselves without the
danger of severe punishment
on political matters broadly defined
f. Citizens have a right to seek out alternative sources of
information. Moreover, alternative
sources of information exist and are protected by law
g. Citizens also have the right to form relatively independent
associations or organizations,
including independent political parties and interest groups1
3. What domestic and/or international factors are contributing to
your country’s challenges as
identified in your answer to Question 2?
Political scientists have a strong body of evidence that suggests
that democratization is
affected by a variety of known causes. In most cases, no single
cause is solely responsible
for issues related to democratization, but it is also common to
be able to identify causes
that play a bigger role than others. Based upon your country
research, read the first half
of O’Neil Chapter 6 and discuss whether you think your
country’s issues with Dahl’s seven
components can be explained by factors relating to
modernization, elites, society,
international relations, or culture.
For more on factors that affect democratization, see the
following sources. On economic
conditions (Acemoglu and Robinson 2001), inequality (Ansell

and Samuels 2010),
modernization (Ingelhart and Welzel 2009), elections (Miller
2015), legal institutions
(Reenock, Staton, and Radean 2013), oil (Ross 2012), civil
society (White 1994),
International Organizations (Pevehouse 2002), democracy aid
(Scott 2012).
4. What are some specific policy recommendations you think
the country should adopt based on
your answers to Question 3?
1 Source: Schmitter and Karl (1991).
3
Be as specific as possible and base your recommendations on
scholarly research. I
strongly recommend that you use the sources listed in the
bibliography to inform your
research here. If you recommend making constitutional changes
to the country’s
government, e.g. from presidential to parliamentary or from
majoritarian to PR, I
recommend reading the piece by Arend Lijphart listed in the
sources below.

All memos should be collaboratively written and draw upon
extensive scholarly and empirical
research! You will turn in one (1) memo per group. All group
members are expected to contribute
meaningfully to the writing of this memo, though groups are
free to divide and delegate key tasks
to group members. All memos must follow the Group Memo
Template provided by Dr. Scott in
TCU Online and should be single-spaced, written in Arial 12-
point font, with 1-inch margins on all
sides, justified text, include footnote citations (any proper
citation format is acceptable-MLA,
Chicago, APA, APSA, etc.), and submitted in PDF form to TCU
Online. Paper due date is the
same date as your group’s presentation on November 28. See
Group Memo Guidelines and
Template document for more information on how to structure
your memo.
STEP 3.) Presentation: 5 points
Group presentations will take place in-class on November 28.
Presentations should be 8-10
minutes long and must summarize, explain, and elaborate upon
the contents of the policy memo.
All presentations must include use of PowerPoint (or
equivalent) slides and all group members
must actively participate in the presentation. Assignment of
presentation time slots will happen in
the next few weeks.
BEGINNING YOUR RESEARCH: How to decide which country
to study (and some

additional sources to get you started!)
All groups must use the Freedom House Freedom in the World
Report/Map to select the country
they will study. Only countries shaded yellow on the
map/identified as “Partly Free” in the report
are eligible for this assignment.
4
Groups should start their research to answer Question 1 by
downloading and reading the
Freedom House Country Report for their selected country. This
can be found by clicking on the
country on the map and selecting “View Report”. Material from
these reports must be cited in your
memo.
Use the information presented in the FH Country Report and
additional research on your country’s
regime to answer Question 1.
5
Recommended Source List:
Start Here:

Schmitter, Philippe and Terry Lynn Karl. 1991. “What
Democracy Is…and Is Not.” Journal of
Democracy. 1991: 75-88. In TCU Online.
Geddes, Barbara. “What Causes Democratization.” 2011. The
Oxford Handbook of Political
Science. In TCU Online. In TCU Online.
Lijphart, Arend. 1991. “Constitutional Choices for New
Democracies.” Journal of Democracy.
1991(1):72-84. In TCU Online.
Lindber, Staffan et al. 2018. “Successful and Failed Episodes of
Democratization:
Conceptualization, Identification, and Description.” Working
Paper., The Varieties of Demcracy
Institute. In TCU Online.
On specific factors related to democratization:
Acemoglu, Daron and James Robinson. 2001. “A Theory of
Political Transitions.” American
Economic Review. 91: 938-963.
Ansell, Ben W. & David J. Samuels. 2010. “Inequality and
Democratization: A Contractarian
Approach.” Comparative Political Studies 43(12):1543–1574.
Foley, Michael W. & Bob Edwards. 1996. “The Paradox of Civil
Society.” Journal of Democracy
7(3):38–50.
Inglehart, Ronald & Christian Welzel. 2009. “How development
leads to democracy: What we
know about modernization.” Foreign Affairs pp. 33–48.

Miller, Michael. 2015. “Democratic Pieces: Autocratic
Elections and Democratic Develop- ment
since 1815.” British Journal of Political Science 45(3):501–530.
Pevehouse, Jon. 2002. “Democracy from the Outside-In?
International Organizations and
Democratization.” International Organization 56(3): 515–549.
Reenock, Christopher, Jeffrey Staton & Marius Radean. 2013.
“Legal Institutions and Democratic
Survival.” Journal of Politics 75(2):491–505.
Ross, Michael L. 2004. “What do we know about natural
resources and civil war?” Journal of
peace research 41(3):337–356.
Scott, James M. 2012. “Funding Freedom? The United States
and US Democracy Aid in the
Developing World, 1988-2001.” In Liberal Interventionism and
Democracy Promotion, Dursun
Peksen, Editor. New York: Lexington/Rowman-Littlefield,
2012, 13-36.
White, Gordon. 1994. “Civil society, democratization and
development (I): Clearing the analytical
ground.” Democratization 1(2):375–390.

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