The remainder of the White family children finish up college.

1. Pickled Toad on a Biscuit
The White Legacy:
Generation Three, College (Part Two)

2. I could always kill Dez.

3. It wouldn’t even be that hard. He spends so much time chatting over the internet lately, I would just have to walk
up behind him and zap him. Easy, no mess, no fuss. And then Dad would have to declare me the heiress.

4. I would do it tonight, except for two things that I just can’t seem to work around.

5. One, I have three brothers on top of Dez who Dad could decide to choose if Dez were to become compromised.
I’m the obvious choice for heiress, but what if Dad pulls an upset again? I would have to kill all of my brothers, and
they might see it coming, and take preventive measures… either that, or that prissy Chantelle, head of Dez’s
Order of Light, might take those preventive measures herself, and I haven’t quite finished my training yet…
But once I have finished training, Chantelle will be the first one to go. I mean, after Dez, of course. And possibly
that uppity bartender that called me a “kid” when I was a teenager.

6. Two, those rotten, stinking memories, that come with those thrice-cursed feelings… I’ve got to do something about
this, or I’ll never get anything done…

7. I guess I’ll call killing Dez “Plan B.”
But if that’s Plan B, what’s Plan A?

8. Why can’t I think of anything…!?

9. Latimeria “Merry” White is a Fortune Sim with the LTW of becoming The Law (uh-huh, yeah, sure). She is a
4/10/10/6/4 Gemini, and an evil witch. And I mean that literally.
The Latimeria chalumnae is the scientific name for the West Indian Ocean Coelacanth. The coelacanth is a fish
that was believed to be extinct up until 1938, when they were rediscovered off the coast of South Africa.
Clearly, this was a majorly exciting event for science. Since then, several species of coelacanth, including
Latimeria chalumnae, have been discovered. They are ugly and foul tasting, and there‟s a pokémon based off of
them called Relicanth.

10. Arc: “Is no one else going to clean Blizzard‟s cage? Do you all want him to die? Am I the only one in this house
capable of holding a sponge!?”

11. Arc: “Well, Dez? Taking the hint yet?”
Dez: “…”

12. Merry: “Listen, Arc. We‟ve had some rough times in the past. But I know you don‟t like being a spare any more
than I do—”

13. Arc: “I don‟t mind being a spare, Merry. If I were heir, I wouldn‟t be able to be with Anne because she‟s not an
NPC.”
Merry: “Listen, I just need you to teach me how to get Dez out of the way and become heiress myself—”
Arc: “No, Merry. What if Dez died, and instead of you, Dad decided I needed to be heir? I would lose Anne!”

14. Arc: “Also, I don‟t like you. Stay away from me.”

16. Dez: “…”
Arc: “Come on, Dez, don‟t give me that. I know you‟re usually on the computer at this hour, but I‟ve been too
distracted by Anne this semester and my grades are suffering. I have to get them up before the final exam, which
means I need some computer time to write my term paper. Go… read, or something.”
Dez: “…”
Arc: *grumble*

17. Arc: {Finished. My GPA will not suffer this semester.}

18. Merry: “You‟re in my way.”
Dez: “…”
Merry: “If you‟re going to say something, then speak up! I don‟t have time for this!”
Dez: “…you wanted the heirship. I got it. I‟m sorry.”

19. Merry: “Oh, don‟t give me that bull! You‟re not sorry at all! If you were, then you would go to Dad and give up the
heirship! Well? Are you going to do that?”
Dez: “…”
Merry: “Yeah, I didn‟t think so. Excuse me, but I have more important and interesting things to do than stand here
and look at you. Like watching the grass grow. Don‟t come anywhere near me ever again.”

20. Merry: “And one more thing! Don‟t you think that I‟m going to take this laying down like an obedient little puppy
dog! I am going to fight, and I will be the heiress! Just you wait!”

21. Dez: “…”

23. Pearl: “Oof!”

24. Pearl: “Latimeria White! How many times must I tell you that Appello Simae is to be used on mortals, and not your
order head!!”

25. Merry: “Can it, old woman. Tell me how to get rid of my brother without bringing his entire order down on my head.
I‟ve waited long enough on your empty promises!”
Pearl: “As I have told you nearly every night since I began your training, I cannot! I have explained this again and
again! You cannot take on Chantelle and all of her pussy minions yet! You must be like the spider—patient and
unmoving until your prey has been trapped in your web.”

26. Merry: “But how can I trap my prey if I have no web!?”
Pearl: “I‟ve told you a thousand times, get your brother Arc to help you. I‟m busy.”

27. Merry: “PEARL!! Get back here!! I‟m not finished with you yet!!”

28. Chantelle: “You called, Dez?”

29. Dez: “…I‟ve lost my best friend.”
Chantelle: “I‟m very sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?”

30. Dez: “…no.”
Chantelle: “Well, okay. Is this about Merry?”
Dez: “…yes.”

31. Chantelle: “Don‟t worry about Merry hurting you or anyone else, Dez. We knew when she joined Pearl‟s order and
have been keeping a careful eye on her. As it is, we can‟t directly interfere without risking bringing Pearl and her
entire order down on us. But if she steps too far out of line, we‟ll stop her, Pearl or no Pearl.”
Dez: “…don‟t hurt her.”
Chantelle: “We‟ll try not to.”

32. Merry: “I‟m just saying, Arc. If you and I teamed up, it would be easy to make me the heiress, and then I could set
you up with your own suite in the legacy house, and we could—”
Arc: “Get out of my face, Merry.”

33. Merry: “This is fabulous lobster, Arc. I have never tasted lobster this—”
Arc: “I mean it, Merry. Back off.”

34. Arc: “I can‟t BELIEVE her!! All through the time when we were kids we did nothing but argue, but now she wants
me to help her! Did I ever tell you that when she was a child, she set the kitchen couch on… on… you‟re wearing
glasses.”
Anne: “Yup. Took you long enough. I used to wear contacts, but Par and I agreed I looked better with these
frames.”

35. Arc: “Well, my brother is a genius. But, Anne, you don‟t have to put on glasses to improve your appearance… you
look so beautiful no matter what you wear.”
Anne: “Wow, that was incredibly cheesy.”

36. Arc: “Cheesy or not, I meant every word. I love you, Anne.”
Anne: “Love you too, Arc.”
Arc: “Stand up for a second, okay?”
Anne: “What? Why?”

37. Arc: “Anne Lillard, will you marry me?”
Anne: “Oh, Arc! Of course!”

38. Merry: Hmph.

40. Dez: “…Merry—”

42. At least there’s one thing going my way.

43. Merry: “Hey, Dez. I notice that you‟re about to become a senior, and you don‟t have a girlfriend. Can‟t be the heir
without a wife. Checkmate!”
Dez: “…”

44. Isis: “Hellooo, Dez!”
Merry: “Who are you!?”

45. Arc: “What a plot twist!”

46. Merry: {But… but… but…}

47. Care to tell everyone about your surprise romance, Dez? How it happened, where it started?
Dez: “…”
No?
Isis: “We started talking online after he came with his brothers to the lounge I was working at. He talked, I
talked, he flirted, I flirted…”

48. Isis: “…there were a few secret dates…”

49. Isis: “But now we don‟t have to hide anything, do we, sugar?”
Dez: “…no, we don‟t.” *smile*
Blech.

50. Dez: “…marry me?”
Isis: “On my first official appearance with you as a couple? …of course!”

51. Isis: “I am so happy!”

52. Merry: “…you wouldn‟t know this, but I made a promise when we were both teenagers.”

53. Merry: {I‟ll come back and break your legs someday. Just you wait.}

54. Isis: “What are you doing? Is that a wand?”
Dez: “…!”

55. Merry: “Put your wand down, Dez!”
Dez: “…I will not.”

56. Dez: “…I don‟t want to fight you.”
Merry: “Yeah, well, I do.”
Alright, that is quite enough.

57. Not only does this scene—this chapter!—have so many clichés I‟m embarrassed to publish it, but it‟s not time for
this yet! Put your wands down and make up! Now!
Merry: “Who do you think you are!?”
Another cliché!? Come on Merry! You can do better than that!

58. You turn yourself around, sit down in your room, and do some homework!
Merry: “Yeah right! Look at him, all happy and smiling back there! This could be my last chance to take him or his
soon-to-be wife out before they produce the next generation, and you are not going to stop me… whoever-you-
are!”
You‟ll get your chance! You think I would set this rivalry and anger all up so you could just fade into obscurity!?

59. Merry: “Set… it… up? Um, how come you‟re speaking with an echo?
SimMe: “Echo? What echo? There was never any… echo… Hug?”
Merry: “You‟re the Author, aren‟t you?”
SimMe: “Um… this is not the Author you are looking for!”

60. Merry: “Uh, yeah, your pathetic mind tricks are so not going to work on me. I don‟t know how much power you
have, or you think you have, but if you get in my way again, Author, so help me…”

61. SimMe: “Oh, don‟t worry, I can‟t repeat this physical manifestation trick like this without cheapening the entire
story. You won‟t see me in person again. But mark my words, you so much as touch your brother while you‟re in
college, and I will send you off to spend the rest of your education in a festering campsite full of flaming bags of
poo, capiche?”
Merry: “Fine! I won‟t touch Dez—”
SimMe: “Or Isis!”

62. Merry: “—or Isis until after graduation.”
SimMe: “Alright. I‟ll be keeping a very close eye on you, Merry.”
Merry: “Hmph.”

63. Dez: “…Author?”

64. …

66. Phew… that was close. I‟m so glad I have an indoor swimming pool at my house so I can get a much-needed
soak in times like these. I hate breaking continuity like that, but it‟s better than letting Dez and Merry tear each
other apart while they‟re still in college…
…I hope this doesn‟t come back to bite me later…
Ahem. I think we‟ve seen enough for poorly-written drama this chapter, don‟t you?

67. After all of… that, Dez went downstairs and found Isis playing chess by herself. Well, we can‟t pass up this chance
to build logic skill, now can we, Dez?
Dez: “…”
Isis: “So, when you two walked into the club when you were teens, I thought you were kidding about being
witches and warlocks. Obviously, I was wrong. Sorry about that. Would you mind filling me in on all of this? I‟m
afraid I‟m a little lost…”

68. For those of you who can‟t read the simlish on Dez‟s computer screen, he just e-mailed Isis a link to the Witches
Anonymous website. I would have him explain this, which might be funnier, but I‟m not sure how well that would
work with this particular sim.
Dez: “…”
Exactly.

69. Merry: “…hmmm? What…”

70. Merry: “Finally! I have my glow!!”

71. Merry: {Ha! I‟ll bet Mister Perfect Heir hasn‟t—}

72. Merry: “PICKLED TOAD ON A BISCUIT!! I hate you, Dez!!”
Dez: “…?”

73. No generation is complete without a break-in, of course. I see the Burglars‟ Union is getting this one in early. I
hope that means we won‟t be seeing you again until Dez‟s kids are grown, sir.
Today’s Burglar: “I wouldn‟t say that—”
I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, YOU, YOU… BURGLAR, YOU!!

74. And here‟s our old friend, Useless Cop. How‟ve you been, buddy?
Useless Cop: “Got any kids here? Because I would love to go tell them I‟ve caught the burglar instead of telling
their parents.”
This is college, man. No kids, period. I don‟t use those mods.
Burglar: “I‟m right here! I haven‟t been arrested yet!”

75. Merry: “Uh, yoohoo? The wall is in my way of zapping them both!”
Arc: “What‟s your problem, Merry? What kind of a witch are you!?”
Dez: “…”
Just go back to bed, all three of you. Arc‟s graduation party is tomorrow, and we‟ve got to get it in before your
evening classes start.

76. Look at that, he won again! Why weren‟t you this effective when it really mattered, Useless Cop?
Useless Cop: “Author, I have now won two of these brawls. I believe that makes the score even. Why are you still
calling me „useless‟?”

77. Hey. Hey, you. You asked why I thought you were useless. You see Arc? You see how he‟s standing right there?

78. Merry is asleep. She doesn‟t care that you caught the burglar, you pervert.
Useless Perverted Cop: *wink*

79. No, really. He winked. Blech. I might have to cowplant this one.

80. Arc, you look disturbingly like Dez when you have your hair tucked under your hat like that. Go change back into
your longer, styling-gel-soaked hair, please.
Arc: “Author, this is my graduation party. I will not be taking orders today. I have earned the right to wear this
hat, and I am wearing this hat.”
Oh, fine. Just for today though.
Arc: “I‟ll take it.”

81. Toro: “Arc! Congratulations on your graduation! Summa cum laude! Give me a high five!”
Dez: “Thanks, Dad! Where‟s Mom?”
Toro: “Oh, she‟s here. You‟ll know her when you see her.”

82. The only non-family member in this picture is Anne. Just so you‟re aware that cow mascot isn‟t slouching because
she‟s lazy… it‟s because she‟s old.
Also, note that Par went right back to exactly where he spent most of his college years. Also note the ring on his
finger, and his nummy sweater. We‟ll get to all of that in the up and coming spare update.

83. Brie: “I love these family reunions of ours! Seeing all of you here, it‟s just like my and Toro‟s graduation parties a
couple of years ago.”
Toro: “Brie honey, it was more than a couple of—‟
Brie: “Shush!”

84. Arc: “Excuse me, Merry, but I was on my way to talk with my fiancée.”
Merry: “Last chance, Arc. Let‟s team up. We could take this all down together.”
Arc: “For the last time, no. I‟m never going to see you again after today, Merry. Suck it up. The world does not
revolve around you. And get out of my way, you‟re between me and Anne.”

85. Other than that, the party ran pretty much like all parties do.

86. And it ended in rather hilariously inappropriate clothes.
…which means that for an entire year, the only ones in the house are going to be…

87. Crap.

88. Merry: “Whoopsie, were you napping, oh brother of mine? I am so sorry. By the way, you snore like a hog and you
fart in your sleep.”
Dez: “…‟

89. Merry: “You know what this potion could really use?”
Llama Mascot: “What!? What!? Oh, this is so exciting!”
Merry: “Llama brains. That would make it perfect.”
Llama Mascot: “Yeah! Yeah, llama brains! …wait, what? You‟re not talking about me, are you? I‟m not really a llama, I‟m only
dressed up as one…”
Merry: “It wouldn‟t be too hard to turn you into one. Let‟s see... pinch of dragon scales, touch of viper essence…”

90. Llama Mascot: “Waaaaaaah!!”
Merry: “That‟s right, you better run! You‟ll be lucky if I don‟t hunt you down! Might as well stay in your dorm forever, just in
case!!”
Nice work, Merry!
Merry: “Same offer goes for you, Author. Buzz off.”
Right. I‟ll just be… going now.

91. Merry: “Son of a hairy wart. Thief. Pansy goody-two-shoes. Rotten tooth. Dog gravy.”
Dez: “…”

92. Merry: “I am out of here before you contaminate me with your little sugar rainbow sparkles.”
That should make for a comfortable flight…

93. Dez has discovered the single best use of Magivestigium…

94. …getting to the toilet in time.

95. Lest I ever be accused of not giving these two enough pre-marriage couple time…

96. You see? This is cute!
Psst. Dez. Please go “change appearance” in the mirror. Your face is paled up again.
Dez: “…”

97. Dez: “…!?!?”

98. Merry: “Heh heh.”
MERRY! You made me a vow! You promised not to touch—
Merry: “I didn‟t touch him. I might have touched the gasoline in the burner I knew he was about to use, though.”
You—you—
Merry: “Aw, the fireman will be here in a second, Author. I wanted to give my dear brother a little going away present before his
big graduation tomorrow, that‟s all. He could put it out with magic if he bothered to waste the reagents, anyway.”

99. Merry: “I protest this treatment! I did nothing to deserve this!!”
You are still a playable in the main house, and you will play by my rules. You did say you wanted to give your big
brother a going away present, after all.
Merry: “I was being—”
You‟ve got three more bathrooms and a kitchen to scrub after this. Less talk, more bubbles.

100. You just defaulted to Philosophy.
Merry: “Yeah, so?”
Little Miss Fortune Sim just let herself default to philosophy.
Merry: “Who cares? It doesn‟t mean anything anyway.”

101. Fair enough. Now then, I expect you to behave at Dez‟s party today, Merry.
Merry: “Yeah, yeah.”
No firebombs.
Merry: “I get it, Author. You are neither my mother nor the head of my order. Drop dead.”
As long as you don‟t cause any trouble. Now go inside, it‟s just getting started.

102. Well, congratulations, Dez! Getting through another six generations of college is going to kill me!
Dez: “…”
Anything you want to say to the good people before the party starts?
Dez: “…I‟m on the phone.”
Oh. Oops. Sorry. Carry on.

103. Toro: “Congratulations on graduating, Arc!”
Dez: “…Dez.”
Toro: “Oh yes, sorry, I knew that. It‟s just, the face… um… I‟m an old man. Don‟t judge me!”
It‟s a-okay, Toro. We understand. Your mind just isn‟t what it used to be.
Toro: “I didn‟t say that…”

104. Toro: “…anyway, congratulations, Dez. I hope you‟ll forgive your old man for letting the wrong name slip off his
tongue. It‟s been a long journey for you, and you‟ve had a lot to deal with from your sister, but you‟ve pulled it off.
Your mother and I are very excited for you, and couldn‟t be more proud.”
Dez: “…thanks, Dad.”

105. Brie: “Don‟t mind your father, sweetie. He‟s not as young as we are anymore.”
Merry: *person person minus*
Your restraint is admirable, Merry. Good job.
Merry: *person person minus minus*

106. You know, I invited Chantelle to this party too, in the hopes of getting some nice “order head” to “newly fully-
fledged order member” chatter in. I haven‟t seen her, though.

107. Aha, there she is. You know, Chantelle, I have a feeling you‟re sorely breaching some witch etiquette here by
using Dez‟s cauldron, which is bound to him and only him…
Chantelle: “Shh!! I just need to make a few crystallized moonbeams! Don‟t tell him!!”

108. Alright, here comes the transition… I would be worried, but I happen to know one of the greatest perks of being a
warlock.

109. That is, awesome transition clothes.
Nonetheless, probably best to put those away when you get back to the family estate, Dez. You want to go
inconspicuous after all. Never mind your glow… or your sparkly skin… or your idle animations…
You know what? Just go.
Dez: “…”

110. Well, I guess that means it‟s just down to you, Mer—
Cow Mascot: *whistle* “You are one hot tamale!”
NO. Get out of here Cow Mascot, you bother me.

111. As I was saying, it‟s just down to—what are you smiling about?

112. Merry: {Heh heh. We got robbed. That was a good one. I‟m gonna have to find that guy. And tear him apart. Heh
heh.}
Smile + flamey thought balloon = creepy. This one is clearly off her rocker.
And by the way, I didn‟t buy her those pajamas (if that‟s what you want to call them). She chose them all on her
own.

113. Turns out, living alone suits Merry very well. She does what she wants, without having to run into her brothers.
She‟s also addicted to pizza apparently; I don‟t think she‟s bought groceries. Ever.

114. Blizzard doesn‟t mind having a sim‟s undivided attention, either. That, and look at Merry here, doesn‟t she look so
sweet and happy and innocent?

115. Yeah, well, don‟t be fooled.

116. Merry: “June.”
June: “Latimeria.”
Merry: “I understand you‟re here to place hold.”
June: “That‟s what it says on my contract.”

117. June: “Say, when you‟re The Law, you should come back here and help me re-work my contract.”
Merry: “Not in a million years.”

118. You‟re not having a graduation party?
Merry: “Why should I? No one would come.”

119. With those charming last words, Merry hopped in a cab (in her nice transition clothes) and headed off to
Peachtree Valley for a life of obscure sparedom.
Merry: “And if you think there‟s any modicum of truth in that statement, your brain is a—”
MERRY! LANGUAGE!!

120. June: “What…? This fridge is practically empty! Did they never buy groceries!? What did they eat!?”

121. So that wraps up Generation Three‟s college years! *confetti!* Join us next time for the beginning of Dez‟s reign as
heir, considering Merry doesn‟t get in the way of those plans. Will there be Generation Four children? I guess we‟ll
see!