1. Understanding Where the Bulk of Your Upsetting
Emotion Comes From
John M. Rector, Ph.D.

2. “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne
Over 10 million copies sold

3. Epictetus
Roman slave/philosopher,
born 55 BCE
“People are not upset by
things, but by the view
they take of things.”

4. The A-B-C Model of Emotion
A
Activating Event
B C
Beliefs Consequent Emotions
(adversity)

5. Understanding the
B
beliefs
C Connection:
emotions

6. The hitch:
 a universal truth…
 “All human beings are—by
nature— flawed, imperfect, and
fallible.”
 What does this imply about our ability to
always think well?
 According to the ABC model, what do flawed
beliefs (B) lead to (C)?

7. Some very popular irrational
beliefs:
1. “I must be competent at all
important endeavors; else, I’m
worthless.”
 What’s wrong with this statement?

8. The worth of a human
being:
 What’s that based on?

9. belief in
conditional human-worth:
A set-up for neurosis…

10. belief in
unconditional human-worth:
The enlightened perspective

11. President Monson’s definition of
unconditional human worth:
 “The worth of a human being
is his or her capacity to
become as God.”
 General Conference Address, 1997
 General Priesthood Session, 2006

12. What do you have to be in order to
have the capacity to become as God?
A Human Being.
“Brothers and sisters,
our individual worth
is already divinely
established as “great”;
it does not fluctuate
like the stock market.”
Ensign, May 2002
Neal A. Maxwell

13. So what does this have to do
with you? With stress?
Could you still be motivated to strive if
you no longer believed your worth was
at stake?

14. Another popular
irrational belief:
2. “You
must treat me fairly, kindly,
lovingly, and considerately; else, it’s
proof that either I’m worthless or you’re
worthless.”
 What’s wrong with this statement?

15. All human beings are…
 Flawed
 Imperfect
 Fallible
 Self-interested
 Free to do whatever they choose

16. Unhealthy & healthy beliefs:
musts vs. preferences…

17. Musts…
 “I must be competent at all important
endeavors…”
 imply that you believe somehow your worth is at stake.
 lead to dysfunctional emotions:
 Depression
 Rage These either don’t motivate us
or they motivate us in unhealthy
 Panic
ways.

18. Preferences…
 “I prefer to be completely competent at all
important endeavors.”
 imply that you realize your worth is not at
stake.
 lead to healthy negative emotions:
 Irritation
 Frustration
These tend to motivate
 Annoyance
us in positive ways.
 Disappointment
 Sadness

19. Summary:
 If you want to understand where the bulk of your
upsetting emotions come from, become more
consciously aware of your beliefs/assumptions.
 If you want to change your experience of dysfunctional
emotions, think more rationally.
 Change your irrational “musts” into preferences.
 Remember that your worth is not based on conditions
that fluctuate.