The Council of Emperors governing the Empire Zone struggled with an ongoing economic crisis. They tried stimulus plans advocated by New Keynesian economists, repeatedly injecting bailout funds but to no avail, with total debt growing enormously. Finally, a plague struck and the remaining economists instituted free market reforms: sound money, low flat taxes, deregulation, and free trade. The territories prospered as independent nations freed from burdensome policies and bureaucracy.

1. The Emperors' Solution
A very European fable

2. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and
over again and expecting different results.”
- Unknown (but attributed to Albert Einstein)

3. The 27 countries that made up the Empire Zone (and
the 5 "about to join" peripheral territories) had known
only increasing prosperity for 50 of the last 60 years

4. - or so they had convinced themselves.

5. The New Empire ScissorRand (Ω) had brought peace,
harmony, social justice and "ended boom and bust
once and for all".

6. The sunlit uplands of cuddly socialism
beckoned for all

7. Yet the Council of Emperors was in a quandary

8. For the last 6 years an economic crisis had raged on
across the empire with no end in sight

9. The Wise Men of the Viziers' Council had prescribed
more and more stimulus money and yet this had
mysteriously vanished without trace.

10. The Book of Keynes had been consulted and read, re-
read and re-interpreted but to no avail.

11. Annual deficits of 1.2 trillion ScissorRands were still
running in even individual national territories and yet
nothing good was happening

12. Total debt was in the
hundreds of trillions of ScissorRands

13. The outer regions of the New Empire were still
suffering and in fact seemed to be getting poorer even
as the handouts they received grew ever larger

14. In fact the only people getting richer all lived in the
Imperial Cities - the bureaucratic capitals of each of the
territories

15. There was no recession here - life was good

16. Expenses payments had never been higher

17. Every week, a new bar, restaurant or opera opened.

18. And still the Council of Emperors could not put 2 and 2
together

19. So far 6 years of stimulus had produced 100 times the
original debt that had led to the mess in the first place

20. and now even the economically illiterate Council of
Emperors was starting to suspect that the New
Keynesians might not be that bright after all

21. or that there was some nefarious connection between
the size of the bailouts and the prosperity of NK-
politically connected bureaucrats and government
contractors

22. Finally the Council of Emperors decided it was time to
try something else

23. They consulted the Academy of Economists

24. a learned body of very much bearded, bespectacled,
studious looking and serious men

25. and one French woman

26. The New Keynesians argued for bailouts, increased
spending, increased taxes, increased regulation and
centrally controlled economic policy

27. Whereas the Osterrians argued for fewer (and
preferably no) taxes, less regulation, no bailouts, no
central control and reduced public spending but
increased private spending

28. A compromise was arrived at

29. The Empire ScissorRand was to be divided into 2 new
currencies

30. A North Empire ScissorRand and a South Empire
ScissorRand

31. The less fortunate members of the Empire

32. (because only luck determined economic success)

33. could use the latter and devalue somewhat...

34. without losing face (i.e. admitting that they needed
urgent reforms)

35. There was much grumbling amongst the NK faction,
but they went along with it

36. on the proviso that another
100 billion ScissorRands
were "injected into the real economy"

37. Yes I know
' Where did they get the 100 billion ScissorRands to
"inject" in the first place? '

38. A very good and pertinent question

39. One that is not asked often enough - if at all

40. By stealing it from the very people who were only
prosperous in the first instance because they made
correct economic decisions and lived productive and
relatively frugal lives

41. or rather by indebting both the current and future
generations to pay for the follies of the profligate
whims and foolish desires of this generation

42. but this, like much of Keynesian Economics, is a
fairytale so please just bear with me.

43. There was rejoicing, back-slapping and bonuses all
round. A new country joined the Empire bringing the
total to
28

44. 32 weeks later the same situation was afoot

45. The poorer members of the Empire were still poor and
screaming for bailouts

46. A Plan B was devised

47. It was decided again to divide the Empire
ScissorRands currencies again into 2

48. Now, in addition to the North Empire ScissorRand and
South Empire ScissorRand,

49. there would be an East Empire ScissorRand and a
West Empire ScissorRand

50. The less productive countries could then use the latter
3 currencies to devalue somewhat

51. There was grumbling amongst the NK faction, but they
went along with the new plan

52. on the proviso that another
200 billion ScissorRands
were "injected into the real economy"

53. There was yet more rejoicing, back-slapping and
bonuses all round. A new country joined the Empire
bringing the total to
29

54. Yet 16 weeks later, something was still not quite right.

55. The lowest earning territories of the Empire were still
poor, still suffering and now screaming for even more
bailout cash

56. while simultaneously casting aspersions on other
countries that had never needed even 1/00th of the
bailout money they decided was their due

57. A Plan C was devised

58. It was decided again to divide the Empire
ScissorRands currencies again into 2

59. Now, in addition to the North, South, East and West
Empire ScissorRands,

60. there would be a NorthWest Empire ScissorRand, a
SouthWest Empire ScissorRand, a NorthEast Empire
ScissorRand and a SouthEast Empire ScissorRand

61. Bringing the total to 8 currencies

62. The weaker countries

63. (yes, they had taken off the kid gloves by now)

64. could use the 7 latter currencies,
while Te-Uton - the strong region - would alone keep
the North Empire ScissorRand

65. There was grumbling amongst the NK faction, but they
went along with the new plan

66. on the proviso that another
400 billion ScissorRands
were "injected into the real economy"

67. There was rejoicing, back-slapping and bonuses all
round. A new country joined the Empire bringing the
total to
30

68. 8 weeks later....

69. More of the same

70. BEDLAM

71. Hair (what was left of it) was being pulled out and teeth
were being gnashed

72. "Capitalism was broken!"
- the people cried

73. The sensible economists amongst them tried to point
out that Capitalism had not actually been in evidence in
the empire for 200 years...

74. but they were drowned out by those calling for a Plan D

75. Perhaps you can see which way this is going by now...

76. 8 weeks later,
800 billion in bailouts,
more taxes, 31 countries...

77. 4 weeks later,
1,600 billion in bailouts,
even more taxes, 32 countries...

78. Time elapsed

79. 60 weeks

80. Total bailouts so far

81. Ω3.1 Trillion

82. But then just 2 weeks later, a great plague struck the
Imperial City and the New Keynesians were all struck
dumb

83. The ones that could still communicate by hand waving
were shunned by the rest of the population for fear of
catching the virus.

84. The remaining economists used the opportunity to try
a new course of action across the Empire.

85. To write off the ridiculous ' stimulus "money" '

86. To institute a sound money finance system (removing
the parasitic need to pay interest to private entities for
money creation)

87. To reduce taxes to a flat 10% for corporations and a flat
5% for private individuals

88. They annulled 90% of most of the laws

89. They shrank the size of the Empire bureaucracy to less
than 5% of its pre-crisis size

90. and they promoted economic freedom, mainly by
deregulating almost everything that could be - freeing
the citizenry from arbitrary denials by jumped up
bureaucrats

91. The one thing they did keep from before was the 32
subdivided currencies

92. They renamed each currency to the country of the
territory in which it was used

93. e.g. the Te-Uton Scissorrand, the Frankish
ScissorRand, the Osterreich ScissorRand etc

94. and created a massive continent wide free trade zone
in which any territory could export and import at will
with no barriers, tariffs or any other sort of fetid
mercantilism

95. Within 2 weeks the New Empire

96. (which was now no longer an Empire since each
territory controlled its own economic destiny)

97. was starting to show signs of revival

98. Sure, the bureaucratic dwellers in each of the Imperial
Cities of Sprouts were now out of work and finding that
no one valued anything they had to offer

99. (most died in ignominy soon after the trough was taken
away)

100. but 500 million people across the former Empire were
beginning to prosper again, finally freed from
burdensome taxes and pointless regulations

101. A motion was passed to burn all the copies
of the Book of Keynes

102. but wiser heads prevailed arguing that it was still
instructive to see how completely and easily people
could be seduced by claptrap

103. interpretations

104. One copy was kept on permanent display in each of the
territory capitals in a locked golden case in the main
square as a warning to future generations

105. with the incorrectly interpreted policy prescriptions

106. And the New Republic
Commonwealth of Brother Nations
prospered

107. The End