2. INT. CONCERT HALL
A 90 piece orchestra plays before a large audience.
The conductor ends the song, and turns to the applauding
audience. The rows are filled with well dressed patrons, the
sizable concert hall is full nearly to capacity.
CONDUCTOR
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. It
is our privilege to play before you
tonight.
He turns to the orchestra.
CONDUCTOR
I think I can speak for myself, and
for the Idyll Isles orchestra... it
is nice to get some much needed
time to ourselves.
Not registering the sudden ashen looks on the faces in his
orchestra, he turns back to the audience.
CONDUCTOR
Next, I thought we might play...
The conductor’s sentence dies on his lips.
Overlord PHILIP STANHOPE, clad in priestly robes, nervous
looking entourage in tow, is before him.
PHIL
I was not invited.
The conductor gulps. The audience gazes warily at their
suddenly present overlord.
PHIL
And. I find myself disappointed. I
knew this concert was scheduled
this evening. And I was waiting for
someone to tell me I could come.
It’s the principle of the thing.
He turns to the audience.
PHIL
I mean... no one can forward an
e-vitation anymore? I love the
3. 2.
PHIL
thee-ay-tre, and I love a good
orchestral concert. Did you learn
nothing about me in my mandatory
reeducation seminars?
Swiftly, he turns backs to the conductor and removes his
robe, revealing a gaudy suit underneath.
PHIL
As soon as I find my seat, play for
me sir. Play as though your life
beyond this evening depends on it.
He shoves his robes into the arms of his nearest henchman,
who is revealed to be a degraded looking ALEX BOYLE.
Phil, entourage in tow, turns and saunters up the center
aisle. All desperately avoid making eye contact as he goes.
Finally, Phil arrives at a designated area at the back,
filled with centrally located, extra comfortable chairs.
Phil looks fondly at a "Reserved for Overlord Stanhope" sign
next to the chair, then balks at what he sees next.
A large man, sporting a ponytail despite the rest of his
head being bald, is snoring noisily in Phil’s chair.
Phil takes in the sight of this audacious fellow. He blinks
enormously, then looks again. The man is still there.
Phil snaps his fingers.
The ponytailed man is suddenly on his feet, nose to nose
with Phil. With a snort, he’s jerked awake.
Ponytail sleepily looks from Phil’s face, to the audience,
to the "reserved" sign, back to Phil. Suddenly wide awake.
PONYTAIL
Shhhoot.
The audience and the orchestra watches with baited breath as
Phil stares at the man with tranquility.
After a lengthy silence, Ponytail can stand it no longer.
PONYTAIL
I wez keeping yuh seat warm, muh
lord. I knew you wez comin’, your
overlord, please don’t, I was-
Wordlessly, Phil seizes the ponytail.
4. 3.
RIP. Mid sentence, Phil pulls Ponytail’s head clean off his
shoulders. The audience cringes.
Phil sits down in the chair, and gestures for his entourage
to take their seats as well.
PHIL
Are you taking requests?
The conductor straightens up at this rhetorical question.
PHIL
I’d very much like to hear
Miscouche’s 3rd Waltz, please.
There is a shifting in the audience.
PHIL
I know, I have the radio stations
play it all the time. But there
really is nothing like hearing it
from a live orchestra.
The conductor quickly raises his baton.
CONDUCTOR
One, two, three...
The orchestra comes to life with a cheery, uptempo waltz.
Phil leans back in his seat with satisfaction.
Overhead, in the rafters over the stage, two figures watch
the proceedings on a semi concealed catwalk.
John and Ann. They are in relaxed, "rustic" attire.
ANN
He just decapitated that guy for no
apparent reason.
JOHN
He’s forcing us to listen to an
uptempo waltz in D-Major.
ANN
Bitch has to die.
The two nod grimly, then turn from the catwalk.
5. 4.
INT. BACKSTAGE
John and Ann emerge from a stairwell and step backstage.
A clutter of props and old set pieces form a labyrinth on
the floor; catwalks and sandbags hanging from ropes and
stage lights overlap all the way to the ceiling.
JOHN
I feel kind of bad. These people
were enjoying a perfectly nice
concert, and we had to tip Phil off
about it.
ANN
Making sure he knew he wasn’t
invited to a big party was the only
way to lure him off his base. It’s
like that time you had everyone
over for your birthday except Sam
Sterling.
JOHN
Oh God, he was upset. What happened
when he found out again?
ANN
He threw his Etch-A-Sketch through
the dining room window, and then
sulked under your deck for an hour.
JOHN
Right. Best 18th birthday ever.
ANN
So now that we got him here, how’re
we going to lure Phil backstage?
At that moment, three hooded gunmen, silenced guns in hand,
burst from behind a nearby backdrop.
LEAD GUNMAN
STOP! Don’t you move.
John sizes them up.
JOHN
They should do the trick.
6. 5.
INT. CONCERT HALL
The orchestra, under duress, keeps on playing.
Phil sits with his feet resting on the headless corpse.
Idly, he twirls the severed head around by the ponytail.
Alex leans as far away from his overlord as he can.
INT. BACKSTAGE
John and Ann have their hands up.
LEAD GUNMAN
Do you realize, I mean really
realize, the magnitude of your
idiocy right now?
JOHN
Come again?
LEAD GUNMAN
You’re rebelling against a man who
can’t be killed, can eviscerate you
thoroughly with just a thought, and
has a batcrap crazy temper.
SECOND GUNMAN
I’m gunna tell ’im you said that.
LEAD GUNMAN
We’re about to kill the leader of
the rebellion, you jackass. He’s
not going to care.
He turns to John.
LEAD GUNMAN
You saved our island once. You
saved all our lives. I wish I
didn’t have to kill you.
ANN
We wish we didn’t have to kill you
either, but there we go.
The third gunman shakes back his hood. DANNY ELMSDALE.
Quickly, he points his pistol at the other two gunmen and
pulls the trigger twice.
They collapse before they can react, holes in their heads.
7. 6.
John and Ann lower their hands as Danny fist pumps.
DANNY
YES. Was that not badass?
JOHN
I suppose in some circles, it may
be thought of that way.
DANNY
Pretty sure it was badass.
JOHN
Well, I’m just glad you got into
position on time.
DANNY
Come on. Dad always said I was the
reliable one.
ANN
Is Julia ready on her end?
Danny holds up a cell phone.
DANNY
She’s listening in right now.
EXT. CONCERT HALL - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
JULIA ALBERTON is concealed in an unseen location. One hand
is gripped around an unseen object, the other holds a phone.
JULIA
I’m in place, waiting for your
signal. Try not to die, sweetheart.
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
DANNY
And you.
Footsteps are heard pounding in the corridor outside.
JOHN
Here we go. Load up!
He and Ann scoop up the silenced pistols of the dead gunmen.
As the door bursts open, a small flood of armed henchmen
burst in. John, Ann, and Danny simultaneously open fire.
8. 7.
A hail of silent bullets mow down the first four men. The
fifth, a man with a machine gun, dives into the room.
The three find cover as the henchmen fires a burst at them.
INT. CONCERT HALL - CONTINUOUS
The machine gun is heard very plainly over the sound of the
orchestra. The band comes to a halt.
Many in the orchestra turn in their seats, looking toward
the sound. A loud snap and a cry of pain brings them around.
Phil has assumed the position on the conductor’s podium. His
predecessor writhes in agony on the ground.
PHIL
No one told you to stop. Let’s pick
up where you left off.
The orchestra quickly gets ready to resume playing. Phil
holds up the conductor’s grotesquely severed hand, which
still has the baton clenched tight.
PHIL
I’ve always wanted to do this.
The conductor, now down one hand, watches from the ground as
Phil waves the baton and hand that were once his. The
orchestra plays on.
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
John huddles behind a disused pummel horse as the armed
henchmen fires in his general direction.
Out of sight behind a paper backdrop, Danny climbs a
dangling rope weighed down by a sandbag.
John blindly returns some gunfire from his hiding place, but
the armed henchmen keeps on coming.
From the doorway, four more mooks burst in.
Danny grabs the rail of a catwalk and hoists himself on.
The machine gunned henchman closes in on John’s hiding spot.
PTEW.
And he goes down as Danny fires off from the catwalk.
9. 8.
DANNY
YES! That’s two!
But a mook holding a shotgun hears him and blasts upwards in
his direction. Danny flattens himself to the floor.
At that moment, John is accosted by another goon, who grabs
him and hurtles through a rack of costumes.
John lands entangled in a pile of Victorian era costumes,
but spots some colorful wine bottles on a nearby bureau.
As the goon steps from behind the rack, John scoops the
bottles up and hurtles them in rapid succession.
Three bottles crash into the goon, but he’s barely fazed.
John frowns. Breakaway bottles.
The goon dives at John and the two struggle.
Ann sneaks forward, spots the mook with the shotgun
advancing on John.
John hurtles the goon upward. With a sickening crunch, he
crashes into a stage light and falls back to earth.
The mook with the shotgun has John in sight.
Ann sees something on a nearby cabinet and scoops it up.
The mook points his gun at John’s head as Ann races forward.
She holds a knife to the mook’s throat.
ANN
Don’t move.
John turns. The mook looks at the knife in Ann’s hand.
MOOK
That’s a prop knife.
Ann responds by knocking him out with a right hook.
ANN
Well, that was a real fist.
John raises one hand.
JOHN
Gimmee some.
Ann obliges, they high five. But John sees something coming.
10. 9.
JOHN
Whoops. Duck for a second.
Ann ducks as another henchmen dives from nowhere, real knife
in hand. John grabs him mid air and flings him away.
INT. CONCERT HALL - CONTINUOUS
The henchmen is hurtled through the curtain, crashing into
the startled base drum player. The band stops again.
Phil rolls his eyes.
PHIL
Allll right. Let’s see what the
fuss is about.
He hauls the whimpering conductor back to his feet, shoving
the baton back into his remaining hand.
PHIL
Bring us home.
INT. BACKSTAGE
The remaining henchman bravely charges at John’s back, but
as John turns and glares sternly, he screeches to a halt.
JOHN
Leave. Now.
The henchman obliges. He turns on his heel, runs...
...Straight into a suddenly present Phil. Phil grabs the
deserter and hurls him straight at John, who ducks.
As the hapless henchmen crashes unconscious to the floor,
Ann and Danny’s attention turn to the Overlord.
PHIL
You know, that’s the problem with
ruling through fear. Sure, everyone
does what you want, and the parking
space is unbelievable. But when it
comes down to it, no one is willing
to die for you. Not when your enemy
can kill them just as good.
He gestures at John, who dives upwards as a telekinetic
burst of energy explodes a dangling sandbag.
John grabs a thick support beam.
11. 10.
PHIL
So of course, the hands-on
rebellion squashing falls to me.
As John hoists himself onto the beam, Phil appears next to
him and wallops him in the face. John staggers.
PHIL
Luckily, I forgot how fun it is.
He swings again, but John ducks and sweeps his legs. Phil
loses his balance and teeters on the edge of the beam.
John takes to the air, soaring around in a loop and tackling
Phil. He falls off the beam, but grabs it with one hand.
Drawing his pistol as he flies, John grabs the beam, swings
around, and comes face to face with Phil.
Point blank, John fires five times between Phil’s eyes.
Phil absorbs each and every bullet. Not even a welt.
PHIL
Well, that stung, I grant you. But-
John points the gun at Phil’s hand. BANG.
Startled, Phil loses his grip on the beam and crashes to the
ground, decimating a trunk filled with wigs.
Phil gets up, and glares upwards. No one is there.
But as he starts to creep around, John’s voice is heard.
JOHN (O.S.)
We’re here to take responsibility
for you, Phil. You knew what you
were getting into when you took
that serum, but it was my fault you
were in that position in the place.
You were a good person.
Phil rolls his eyes.
JOHN (O.S.)
But it’s fair to say that the Phil
we knew is dead and gone, isn’t he?
Phil keeps looking around as he responds.
12. 11.
PHIL
Don’t be as melodramatic as all
that, John. My priorities have
shifted, that’s all. Maybe if you
attain immortality, you’ll also
realize that life is about having
fun. Things like morality, or
consequences, or stupid little
crushes, they’ll all seem so
irrelevant. Ooh, speaking of.
He seizes a paper backdrop of a forest and rips it down,
revealing Ann. Phil steps forward.
PHIL (CONT.)
I am so over you.
Ann responds by scooping up a nearby can of hairspray and
letting lose into Phil’s eyes. He reels.
PHIL
OW! Sonuva...
John dives from the rafters, swinging in on one of the
sandbag ropes. He kicks Phil right in the chest, and he
staggers into the back wall.
Danny, from his vantage point, opens his cell phone.
DANNY
He’s in place. Fire at will.
EXT. CONCERT HALL - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
JULIA
Will do.
Julia has got a bazooka mounted in the bushes across the
street from the theatre, aimed straight at the outer wall.
She pulls the trigger.
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
There is a tremendous flash of fire as the back wall of the
theatre explodes, sending Phil flying in a hailstorm of
rubble. He lands face up among the debris.
From the catwalk, Danny throws down a weighted net, which
expands and envelopes Phil.
At the same time, John races forward.
13. 12.
JOHN
Poison!
Ann quickly pulls and uncaps a syringe from her pocket and
tosses it to John, who reaches Phil.
Spinning around, John catches the syringe, plunges it down.
And the needle snaps against Phil’s throat.
Phil opens his eyes.
PHIL
Really? That’s it?
With a gesture, he sends John hurtling upwards. He crashes
painfully onto a catwalk about twenty feet up.
As John gets up, Phil appears in front of him.
John raises his hand, but instead begins coughing mightily.
Danny descends the rope to the floor and looks up with Ann,
as John keels over.
PHIL
Can’t shake that nasty perma-cold,
John? I know what that was like.
But I’m invincible now. It’s great.
He yanks John to his feet.
PHIL
So, you and your little camp of
freedom fighters? It’s not like you
can cause me any actual grief.
You’re like a dandelion
infestation, or a PBS Pledge Drive.
As John struggles, Phil holds him over the ledge.
PHIL
But now, I’m afraid this period of
detente is at an end. I will find
your camp, I will murder anyone I
find there. You annoyed me a bit
more than usual tonight, and they
will pay the price. Return to your
camp and relay that message.
John has a another coughing fit. Phil frowns.
14. 13.
PHIL
Or have Ann do it. I don’t think
you’ll last that long.
With that, he tosses John off the catwalk, who plummets the
twenty feet to the ground. Ann and Danny race to his side.
PHIL
Get ready for the curtain call,
kids. Because tonight? You took
your final bow.
He laughs and vanishes into thin air.
Ann and Danny have helped John to his feet and the three are
scrambling for the exit when Phil reappears on the catwalk.
PHIL
I’ve got a better one. "John, hope
you didn’t break a leg just now!"
He laughs, and then shakes his head.
PHIL
I was right the first time.
John, Ann, and Danny exit through the hole in the wall
without looking back.
INT. CONCERT HALL - CONTINUOUS
As the orchestra wraps up the waltz, Phil reappears next to
his chair and sits down next to Alex.
PHIL
I love the thee-ay-tre.
The band finishes with a flourish. The conductor instantly
keels forward and knocks over a music stand.
Phil leaps to his feet and claps enthusiastically.