Charles Fitzgerald, an elderly and posh suitcase, finds himself taken on vacation to Magaluf, Spain by three teenage girls instead of his usual luxurious destinations. Upon arriving in Magaluf, a party destination known for rowdy teenagers, Charles is shocked and dismayed by the raucous atmosphere. He spends a uncomfortable week trying to avoid the noisy pool parties and drunken antics around him before finally departing for home, though his bumpy flight back continues his unpleasant vacation experiences.

1. SUN, SEX AND SUITCASE SHENANIGANS
Monday 22nd July
My summer vacation started off with me leaving the dusty, cramped and smelly loft which brought back memories of
my trip to New York last summer where I spent the journey packed inside a cold, dark and crowded compartment.
Then when I arrived, I was locked in a cupboard for the two weeks. It was bloody awful. This year however, was to be
a surprise journey, one that I hoped would be better than last year!
Oh how rude of me, I haven’t even introduced myself yet! My name is Charles Fitzgerald (you may recognise the
name as my great grandfather is a well-known furniture manufacture) and I live in a delightful area of London known
as Kensington. I’ve lived there an awfully long time and despite my age, I still travel to my heart’s content!
Wednesday 24th July
Now it’s finally time to embark on a new adventure and see what the family have in store for me. We’re on our way to
the airport, cramped inside a little taxi; they’re peculiar things aren’t they? Personally, I prefer travelling by private
limos and Bentleys, but not everyone can afford it I suppose.
After what felt like ages we finally arrived at the airport. Luckily our flight is in the afternoon so we don’t have to get up
at the crack of dawn, which would’ve been ghastly. So it’s 11am and we’re queuing up at the check-in; unfortunately it
is still packed and people keep bumping into me and tripping over me, I wish they would look where they’re walking.
I have no idea how long this journey is going to be, hopefully not too long as it does get awfully stuffy and cramped in
here. I wish we were first class like normal but it seems as if I’m in economy class… how strange, this is not
something I’m used to at all… When we got on the plane I met a lovely girl called Poppy, she was dressed in red and
it did indeed suit her superbly. Fashion is something that I always notice on people and she and I had a lovely
conversation on good taste and fashion faux pas’.
Surprisingly, the flight was not even two hours long so I really have no idea where I am. I wonder if I’m in Austria,
Vienna is less than two hours away… seeing some snow would be wonderful right now considering how rare it can be!
Or Prague, I’ve heard it’s beautiful there! Or Paris! That’s my favourite place, fashion capital of the world, I have
missed it there! I cannot contain my excitement right now…
Unfortunately, my excitement is to be short lived as I get separated from the girls when unloaded off the plane. I’m the
last one on this conveyor belt and I can’t see anyone I recognise waiting to pick me up. I’m starting to feel a bit dizzy
and sick now as I travel round and round this uncomfortable belt, where are the girls? I have no idea what country I’m
in; this is turning into a disaster! Finally I hear the familiar voices of three teenage girls panicking and they notice me!
Praise the lord! Just as I thought I was about to throw up, they’ve grabbed me to go off to the hotel. Hang on a
moment, where are the rest of the family? How come I’m with the eldest daughter and her friends? Now I really am
wondering where I am…
So I leave the airport and enter the boiling heat, that’s a good start! I take a glance around as I head into the taxi and I
notice the airports name; Palma de Mallorca. Now, I pride myself on being extremely knowledgeable and from my
understanding, this is in Magaluf…
That can’t be right, surely it’s wrong. No. I don’t tend to take much of an interest in these sort of places but from what
I’ve heard it’s a major party island! I’m absolutely flabbergasted. This is the last place on earth that I would want to be
in, already I can see young people wearing next to no clothes and showing off their tans. This is my worst nightmare,
why am I here right now? There must be a mistake, yes, that’s it! I was on the wrong plane. I should let someone
know so that I can be taken to where I’m supposed to be, somewhere much more pleasant and humble where I can
actually enjoy myself.
I’m surrounded by teenagers laughing, cheering and looking ridiculous. This cannot be real, why would I want to come
to Magaluf, why would anyone? It’s an absolute monstrosity here!
After being reluctantly dragged through the airport to the hotel (which was right around the corner) I was still not
happy. The hotel was not at all five stars like I was used to. Rather than four-poster beds and all the private Jacuzzi,
this particular hotel simply had one double bed, a pull out sofa and a tiny kitchen area! This is a disaster. The staff
member who took the girls to their room spoke about the surrounding area; somewhere known as the ‘strip’ and a few
other things but I couldn’t hear properly due to the noise of screaming teenagers outside.
Despite the ear-piercing noise, the daughter, Sophie, seems extremely happy right now. She and two other girls are
blasting some of their god awful pop music and dancing around laughing their heads off. I’m not sure what’s funny
about this, surely they must have realised that they’re in the wrong country? These things can happen… can’t they?
The girls, (I have discovered are called Emma and Georgia) have ran out onto the balcony, which overlooks a pool
surrounded and filled with youngsters in tiny bikinis and baggy trunks. The noise here is worse than anywhere I’ve

2. been before! All I can hear is high-pitched screams, teenagers cheering and people jumping into the pool. I’ve not
experienced anything like this before.
Georgia suggests to the others that they should go to the pool and of course all three of them run down literally
jumping for joy as they go. My head is spinning. I’m still trying to figure out what on earth is going on here. We must
have been destined for somewhere else, surely… Looking around the ghastly room I spot the airport flight ticket and
see ‘Destination: Palma de Mallorca, Magaluf’ and I almost fainted at the sight of that; I need to sit down, get some air.
But of course, that is not possible, the only air here is hot, stuffy and filled with young annoying people. Oh no. We are
meant to be here. I can’t believe it. How could this family let me come here! Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t
go to these places; they don’t interest me or appeal to me in any way. I prefer classier countries where I can do
grownup and intellectual things. Not run around half naked drinking excessively and getting a little too close with other
people. I think I need to go to sleep, hopefully this is all a dream, actually more of a nightmare, and I’ll wake up on the
place to somewhere much more delightful.
Friday 26th July
I was woken by some boy tripping over me on his way to sneaking out the apartment at 10am. He then said
something so uncouth and ill-mannered that I do not wish to repeat it to you. After that little debacle, he quickly
sprinted out the front door, however he stupidly let it slam somewhat loudly behind him and woke the girls up.
“Where’s, um, whoever that boy was?” Sophie yawned. The others looked about dazedly and shrugged. She sighed
and collapsed on the sofa with the others, they all began talking about their amazing night where they all got so
inebriated that they actually can’t remember a lot of it. That doesn’t sound so amazing to me, but perhaps it’s my old
age…
What are my friends back home going to think when I tell them that I, Charles Fitzgerald, have been to Magaluf? They
won’t be able to contain their laughter! I am known for my extravagant holidays to exotic places but now that is ruined,
my tradition has been broken by this ludicrous country full of intoxicated, brainless, hyper-active teenagers!
Wednesday 31st July
A week has finally passed and I can now leave this wretched country. The girls overslept, what a surprise, and they
are now rushing around the apartment trying to pack. A hotel worker sends a trolley up for the luggage and I get
forcefully chucked on it before being loaded into the back of a taxi. Eventually the girls catch up and we’re off, back to
England.
It is just my luck that the journey home is another dreadful one, I can tell the pilot is inexperienced, rarely have I
endured such a bumpy, awful and rough, landing! It’s really not good enough! I practically bounced out my designated
spot and all of us ended up sliding back and forth crashing into one another. I’m in a terrible amount of pain now and
my view on plane journeys has changed considerably…
Although I’m happy to leave Magaluf and this appalling plane, it does mean that I’ll be sent back to the horrible attic
upon my return for another year. Oh the struggles of being a suitcase. Tata for now my dears! Until next time.
COMMENTARY
The primary intention of my piece was to write in a humorous tone to fit the purpose ‘to entertain’, I hadn’t thought
about having a specific audience as the piece could be read by anyone from about 15 and up. However, the fact that
the interlocutor is portrayed as an old, posh man inevitably, means that the piece would be more suited for the older
generation, conversely, the fact that he ends up in a country typically known to be filled with younger people of a
modern century means that the piece could also be read by them.
I assumed it would appear in the travel section of a newspaper such as The Guardian. Also, I used formal register
without colloquialisms, when the suitcase itself is talking as I wanted his personality to be older and more posh but
when other people were speaking, I tended to use more informal language that relate to the age group; background of
the characters and the environment that they are in. For example, Charles Fitzgerald spoke in traditional English: “the
pilot seems to be somewhat inexperienced as we land due to the rough nature of the arrival.” This makes it clear of his
older age and background. The teenagers spoke more informally: “Where’s, um, whoever that boy was?” The fillers
emphasise that they are younger as it is the younger generation that use these kinds of discourse markers more.
As I wrote the piece, I had to go back and change bits frequently. Furthermore, the beginning took a lot of deletions
and rewrites as I struggled to know how to start writing a piece from the point of view as suitcase without the audience
knowing that. Also, I decided to format it in a typical diary form so that it would be clearer and easier for the reader to
know when a new day has started and it makes more sense that way. To do this, I made sure to write dates above
each section like a typical diary and keep it all in first person with lots of opinions.
In relation to my style model, I used an online travel piece article by Jessica Hynes: ‘Tbilisi or bust,’ as well
as an extract from ‘An Idiot Abroad - The travel diaries of Karl Pilkington’ There are various notable features
used in each of these style models which I have tried to imitate in my piece, for instance I followed the
layout in Karl Pilkington’s book as a guide for how to structure my piece as well incorporating his humorous
tone and language into my descriptions. Furthermore, I used persuasive techniques similar to those found
in Jessica Hynes’article ‘Tbilisi or bust’.

3. I used various language techniques throughout my piece, especially list of threes such as: “dusty, cramped, smelly
loft” and“intoxicated, brainless, hyper-active teenagers!” which emphasised what I was trying to say and sounded a lot
more effective. Moreover, I used a lot of short sentences to highlight the seriousness and severity of what was
happening, for example: ‘No.’ and ‘This is a disaster.’ I used plane and travelling lexis such as: “I wish we were first
class like usual but it seems as if I’m in economy class” to make it clear what was happening and so the reader knows
what the piece or section is about. Additionally, I used a vast amount of descriptive language to help the reader picture
what was happening clearly in their minds and make the whole piece a lot more effective and interesting to read. For
example: I’m absolutely flabbergasted.” The adverb followed by a powerful verb serves to accentuate what has
happened and is very conversational as well being hyperbole in the sense that it seems very dramatic. It links directly
to the character of Charles as well as it is something a stereotypical elderly, posh, English man would say thus
emphasising his characterisation. Additionally, the ellipsis gives a dramatic pause that engages the reader and allows
them time to think and take in what has just been said in an effective and tension building way.
The discourse is structured chronologically which makes the reader feel as if they are almost embarking on a journey
with the suitcase from the moment he is pulled out of the loft: “My surprise summer vacation started off with me
leaving the dusty, cramped and smelly loft…” to the moment he is back on the plane returning home again after the
week: “I’ll be sent back to the horrible attic upon my return for another year.” He then says his goodbyes and ends the
diary in an appropriate way so that the reader knows it is over.