Style 1:
diction
In Essay #1, reactions should be linked to one topic studied in Weeks 1-3.
The first topic is diction.
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 1
3 impressionist paintings
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 2
of the same thing - boats
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 3
But very different
because of . ..
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 4
The painters made
different style choices:
different brushstrokes,
colors,textures …
STYLE STYLE
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 5
…even different
perspectives. (These
boats areseen from above
–a different perspective.)
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 6
And those different style choices create different feelings. This
painting says SUMMERTIME! It feels fun, upbeat, playful.
Butthispainting’sstylecreates a serious,somber, STORM-
COMING feeling.
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 7
In creative writing, style
is the writer’s stamp. It
gives the piece a voice
readers can hear and
relate to. And it helps set
the tone. Plus, in fiction
the style of someone’s
speech reveals what kind
of person they are (i.e.,
style adds to
characterization). Just as
in life.
I keep Raymond on the
inside of me and he plays
like he’s driving a stage
coach which is OK by me so
long as he doesn’t run me
over or interrupt my
breathing exercises, which
I have to do on account of
I’m serious about my
running, and I don’t care
who knows it.
Do you hear a voice? Guess
the speaker’s age? Feel her
attitude toward her brother
and life? What words &
phrases help with that?
From Raymond’s Run by Toni Cade Bambara
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 8
How do writers create their Style?
A constant stream of choices shapes a writer’s style. In
revising, skilled writers make small changes that bring out
their style. To achieve the style they want, they make basic
choices about which words to use; this is known as diction.
Do you ever adapt your choice of words especially for the
individual or group you’re talking to? Imagine giving
instructions to a six year old vs to a teenager, or sharing a
story with a supervisor at work vs a friend. What about a
cover letter sent with a resume vs a memo at work vs a
Facebook post? Different styles needed.
If you can think of a good example, email it in for up to 10
Bonus Points. Email to kgordon@northampton.edu
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 9
Informal: casual, every day, colloquial type words
Formal: dressed up, “standard” English words
Usual, commonplace, easy (for most of us) words
Unusual, rare, jargony, difficult (for most of us),
poetic words
Concrete: specific, detailed words
Abstract: general, or vague words
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 10
The types of words a writer chooses are important
for meaning of course but also for tone & style. As
with colors, most meanings have a range of words,
each with a slightly different tone or feeling.
Informal to Formal
Informal, casual, colloquial,
“slang” from different times
In between Formal, fancy, dressed up,
“standard” English
crib, pad, digs* my place, apartment,
house, home
residence, place of residence,
abode*
foot it, hoof it, pound the
sidewalk, burn the shoe leather
walk, take a walk, stroll Perambulate, amble, sashay,
mosey
Rad, bad, mad cool, slaying,
snatched, neat-o, boss*
Awesome, amazing, very
impressive, marvelous
Bodacious (slang tho?),
stupendous, prodigious
*Colloquial words tend to go in and
out of style. As with their clothes,
some people want to be in style with
their words. So they update their
lingo.
Advice: Know your audience. Use
slang when your readers/listeners
can relate.
In between words may be
most common for us, but
creative writers try for a
more distinct style. This can
make them harder, but also
more rewarding. They’re
trying to do more with each
word.
*Some formal words may also be
unusual.
Advice: Use words you know, but
read widely and know more!
Revise with dictionary and
Thesaurus, looking for the just-
right word to capture your
thought.
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 11
Usual to Unusual
Usual,
commonplace,
easy
A bit more
unusual/poetic
A tad more unusual Unusual, rare,
jargony, difficult
The sun went
down.
The sun dropped
below the horizon.
The golden orb of
the sun sank from
sight.
The fiery chariot
achieved
its destination at
long last and
moved
beyond the grasp
of human vision.
Does the job. Works
fine for some
purposes & audiences
Adds a fancier verb (went
became dropped) and
more info.
Adds alliteration Novelists and poets use
unusual diction to get the
most out of a moment.
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 12
Concrete to Abstract
Concrete, specific, detailed Abstract, general, vague
Red Honda with a dented back bumper Damaged compact car
Rhododendron in full bloom Pretty bush
Ride the elliptical for 20 minutes Exercise a while
Square piece of old parchment Paper
Tip: When revising, look for the more specific,
concrete word or phrase. Good writing in most
fields is concrete writing.
Tip: Do you tend to give too much detail? Find just
the right spot between concrete and abstract. Ask:
Why am I writing, and to whom? What does the
occasion and the audience need?
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 13
Good writingis oftenspecific& concrete
I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is
not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong,
neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to
men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of
skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
— From Ecclesiastes, a part of The Bible which novelist Thomas Wolfe described as “ the
greatest single piece of writing I have ever known.”
To show how empty bad writing can be, George Orwell (who wrote 1984 and
Animal Farm) translated the above passage into abstract, bureaucratic English:
Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena
compel the conclusion that success or failure in
competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be
commensurate with innate capacity, but that a
considerable element of the unpredictable must
invariably be taken into account.
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 14
Bonus Point Opportunity
As on the previous slide, do a George Orwell to a common saying
or an inspirational passage you like. Email it in for 10-20 Bonus
Points. For example, that old saying “A bird in hand is worth two in
the bush” very nicely and concretely says - Value what you have
more than what you see but may not be able to get.
Here is my translation of A bird in the hand etc into vague,
general, empty language: “An item which is already in one’s
possession can be valued more highly than twice the amount of
that same or a similar item that is not yet actually and fully in
one’s possession.”
Have fun! Bonus Opps are usually e-mailed in. Include a short
cover letter that let’s me know what you’re sending and why.
Serious attempts only please.
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 15
Novelist Cormac McCarthy (The Road, No Country for Old Men)
is known for unusual, poetic diction
Schmoop has a brief analysis of McCarthy’s diction here. They quote this stunning passage
from The Road. I’ve underlined unusual word choices. We see hard words and also common
words used in uncommon ways:
He rose and stood tottering in that cold autistic dark with his arms
outheld for balance while the vestibular calculations in his skull cranked
out their reckonings. An old chronicle. To seek out the upright. No fall
but preceded by a declination. [< 3 sentence fragments] He took great
marching steps into the nothingness, counting them against his return.
Eyes closed, arms oaring. Upright to what? Something nameless in the
night, lode or matrix. To which he and the stars were common satellite.
Like the great pendulum in its rotunda scribing through the long day
movements of the universe of which you may say it knows nothing and
yet know it must.
For up to 5 bonus points send an email explaining how the verb “oaring” is used
here. Hint: 1) It’s an implied metaphor. The Week 9 lecture explains metaphors.
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 16
Analyzing diction
I keep Raymond on the
inside of me and he
plays like he’s
driving a stage coach
which is OK by me so
long as he doesn’t run
me over or interrupt
my breathing
exercises, which I
have to do on account
of I’m serious about
my running, and I
don’t care who knows
it.
 Is this casual or formal? Casual
OK, on account of - fits her age.
I don’t care who knows it – fits her personality.
 usual or unusual (or prosaic vs
poetic). Usual. But “Like he’s driving a stage
coach” is a bit unusual and poetic. It’s a simile.
Touches like that is where I first thought good
writer here!
 concrete or abstract? Concrete
Physical things are described, not thoughts &
feelings. Later the writing grows more abstract
when she describes the amazing feeling she
gets while running (bottom of p. 5).
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 17
Many words come with a feeling (aka a connotation)
like these casual-formal examples from Slide 11:
Home – Warm feeling. Home is where the heart is. “There’s no place like home, there’s no
place like home...”
House – Cold impersonal feeling. A new house on the block.
Crib – Modern, hip, youthful. “Now this crib's about to kick off, this party looks wack.”
Pad – Once modern, beatnik then hippie. “Hey daddy-o let’s go to my pad.”
Place – Neutral feeling and casual. “Nice place you got here.”
Residence – Neutral feeling and formal. Official language. “State your place of residence.”
Abode – Fancy, poetic diction. Pretentious? “Welcome to my humble abode.” (But haha not
so a humble word choice)
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 18
Start your Essay
Find 5 stand-out words in the piece you’ve chosen. Select
words that help create the style & that add to the tone
(funny, serious, sarcastic, sad…). List those, as on the
previous slide, then write the feelings each word gives
you. Ask friends and family what feeling they get from the
words. Take notes. If the writer is any good, the feelings
you list will be the same he/she was aiming for. If a word
seems like a bad choice to you – yay! You have something
to say in your essay. Are you allowed to be critical of an
author? Definitely!
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 19
Notice my style here is informal (as in yay!). I know essays
make some people nervous and I’m trying to put a lid on that
from the get-go. (Or, to say it more formally, I’m attempting to
pre-empt or forestall that nervousness from the beginning.)
Style analysis of Scout, a young child from the classic
novel To Kill a Mockingbird. She is bragging about her
father’s marksmanship
Style
Scout’s casual word choice
and unusual word order create
a strong, real-sounding voice,
with a little poetry too.
Ain’t everybody’s
daddy the deadest
shot in Macomb
County.
No style
“Standard” formal English
would lose that voice
Not everyone’s
father is the best
shot in Macomb
County.
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 20
Diction questions for your
React & Reflect Essay
• Do the word choices in this piece have anything to do with my reaction
to it? (i.e., is diction the topic I’ll use in my essay, or might another one
work better?)
• Where does my piece fall on the 3 ranges in slide 17?
• Does the diction change from concrete to abstract anywhere? Why
might the writer have done that?
• What 5 standout words help create the style?
• What words come with or bring up a subtle feeling (connotation)? (Ask
friends to help!)
• If characters talk, what is their speaking style? Different at all from the
style of the narrator telling the story?
• Is the style of my piece very similar or different from another writer’s I
know well? Can I add a section on that for and some or all of the 25
Bonus points?
Style 1 - ENGL 151L 21

Style 1: Diction

  • 1.
    Style 1: diction In Essay#1, reactions should be linked to one topic studied in Weeks 1-3. The first topic is diction. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 1
  • 2.
  • 3.
    of the samething - boats Style 1 - ENGL 151L 3
  • 4.
    But very different becauseof . .. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 4
  • 5.
    The painters made differentstyle choices: different brushstrokes, colors,textures … STYLE STYLE Style 1 - ENGL 151L 5
  • 6.
    …even different perspectives. (These boatsareseen from above –a different perspective.) Style 1 - ENGL 151L 6 And those different style choices create different feelings. This painting says SUMMERTIME! It feels fun, upbeat, playful.
  • 7.
    Butthispainting’sstylecreates a serious,somber,STORM- COMING feeling. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 7
  • 8.
    In creative writing,style is the writer’s stamp. It gives the piece a voice readers can hear and relate to. And it helps set the tone. Plus, in fiction the style of someone’s speech reveals what kind of person they are (i.e., style adds to characterization). Just as in life. I keep Raymond on the inside of me and he plays like he’s driving a stage coach which is OK by me so long as he doesn’t run me over or interrupt my breathing exercises, which I have to do on account of I’m serious about my running, and I don’t care who knows it. Do you hear a voice? Guess the speaker’s age? Feel her attitude toward her brother and life? What words & phrases help with that? From Raymond’s Run by Toni Cade Bambara Style 1 - ENGL 151L 8
  • 9.
    How do writerscreate their Style? A constant stream of choices shapes a writer’s style. In revising, skilled writers make small changes that bring out their style. To achieve the style they want, they make basic choices about which words to use; this is known as diction. Do you ever adapt your choice of words especially for the individual or group you’re talking to? Imagine giving instructions to a six year old vs to a teenager, or sharing a story with a supervisor at work vs a friend. What about a cover letter sent with a resume vs a memo at work vs a Facebook post? Different styles needed. If you can think of a good example, email it in for up to 10 Bonus Points. Email to kgordon@northampton.edu Style 1 - ENGL 151L 9
  • 10.
    Informal: casual, everyday, colloquial type words Formal: dressed up, “standard” English words Usual, commonplace, easy (for most of us) words Unusual, rare, jargony, difficult (for most of us), poetic words Concrete: specific, detailed words Abstract: general, or vague words Style 1 - ENGL 151L 10 The types of words a writer chooses are important for meaning of course but also for tone & style. As with colors, most meanings have a range of words, each with a slightly different tone or feeling.
  • 11.
    Informal to Formal Informal,casual, colloquial, “slang” from different times In between Formal, fancy, dressed up, “standard” English crib, pad, digs* my place, apartment, house, home residence, place of residence, abode* foot it, hoof it, pound the sidewalk, burn the shoe leather walk, take a walk, stroll Perambulate, amble, sashay, mosey Rad, bad, mad cool, slaying, snatched, neat-o, boss* Awesome, amazing, very impressive, marvelous Bodacious (slang tho?), stupendous, prodigious *Colloquial words tend to go in and out of style. As with their clothes, some people want to be in style with their words. So they update their lingo. Advice: Know your audience. Use slang when your readers/listeners can relate. In between words may be most common for us, but creative writers try for a more distinct style. This can make them harder, but also more rewarding. They’re trying to do more with each word. *Some formal words may also be unusual. Advice: Use words you know, but read widely and know more! Revise with dictionary and Thesaurus, looking for the just- right word to capture your thought. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 11
  • 12.
    Usual to Unusual Usual, commonplace, easy Abit more unusual/poetic A tad more unusual Unusual, rare, jargony, difficult The sun went down. The sun dropped below the horizon. The golden orb of the sun sank from sight. The fiery chariot achieved its destination at long last and moved beyond the grasp of human vision. Does the job. Works fine for some purposes & audiences Adds a fancier verb (went became dropped) and more info. Adds alliteration Novelists and poets use unusual diction to get the most out of a moment. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 12
  • 13.
    Concrete to Abstract Concrete,specific, detailed Abstract, general, vague Red Honda with a dented back bumper Damaged compact car Rhododendron in full bloom Pretty bush Ride the elliptical for 20 minutes Exercise a while Square piece of old parchment Paper Tip: When revising, look for the more specific, concrete word or phrase. Good writing in most fields is concrete writing. Tip: Do you tend to give too much detail? Find just the right spot between concrete and abstract. Ask: Why am I writing, and to whom? What does the occasion and the audience need? Style 1 - ENGL 151L 13
  • 14.
    Good writingis oftenspecific&concrete I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. — From Ecclesiastes, a part of The Bible which novelist Thomas Wolfe described as “ the greatest single piece of writing I have ever known.” To show how empty bad writing can be, George Orwell (who wrote 1984 and Animal Farm) translated the above passage into abstract, bureaucratic English: Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 14
  • 15.
    Bonus Point Opportunity Ason the previous slide, do a George Orwell to a common saying or an inspirational passage you like. Email it in for 10-20 Bonus Points. For example, that old saying “A bird in hand is worth two in the bush” very nicely and concretely says - Value what you have more than what you see but may not be able to get. Here is my translation of A bird in the hand etc into vague, general, empty language: “An item which is already in one’s possession can be valued more highly than twice the amount of that same or a similar item that is not yet actually and fully in one’s possession.” Have fun! Bonus Opps are usually e-mailed in. Include a short cover letter that let’s me know what you’re sending and why. Serious attempts only please. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 15
  • 16.
    Novelist Cormac McCarthy(The Road, No Country for Old Men) is known for unusual, poetic diction Schmoop has a brief analysis of McCarthy’s diction here. They quote this stunning passage from The Road. I’ve underlined unusual word choices. We see hard words and also common words used in uncommon ways: He rose and stood tottering in that cold autistic dark with his arms outheld for balance while the vestibular calculations in his skull cranked out their reckonings. An old chronicle. To seek out the upright. No fall but preceded by a declination. [< 3 sentence fragments] He took great marching steps into the nothingness, counting them against his return. Eyes closed, arms oaring. Upright to what? Something nameless in the night, lode or matrix. To which he and the stars were common satellite. Like the great pendulum in its rotunda scribing through the long day movements of the universe of which you may say it knows nothing and yet know it must. For up to 5 bonus points send an email explaining how the verb “oaring” is used here. Hint: 1) It’s an implied metaphor. The Week 9 lecture explains metaphors. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 16
  • 17.
    Analyzing diction I keepRaymond on the inside of me and he plays like he’s driving a stage coach which is OK by me so long as he doesn’t run me over or interrupt my breathing exercises, which I have to do on account of I’m serious about my running, and I don’t care who knows it.  Is this casual or formal? Casual OK, on account of - fits her age. I don’t care who knows it – fits her personality.  usual or unusual (or prosaic vs poetic). Usual. But “Like he’s driving a stage coach” is a bit unusual and poetic. It’s a simile. Touches like that is where I first thought good writer here!  concrete or abstract? Concrete Physical things are described, not thoughts & feelings. Later the writing grows more abstract when she describes the amazing feeling she gets while running (bottom of p. 5). Style 1 - ENGL 151L 17
  • 18.
    Many words comewith a feeling (aka a connotation) like these casual-formal examples from Slide 11: Home – Warm feeling. Home is where the heart is. “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home...” House – Cold impersonal feeling. A new house on the block. Crib – Modern, hip, youthful. “Now this crib's about to kick off, this party looks wack.” Pad – Once modern, beatnik then hippie. “Hey daddy-o let’s go to my pad.” Place – Neutral feeling and casual. “Nice place you got here.” Residence – Neutral feeling and formal. Official language. “State your place of residence.” Abode – Fancy, poetic diction. Pretentious? “Welcome to my humble abode.” (But haha not so a humble word choice) Style 1 - ENGL 151L 18
  • 19.
    Start your Essay Find5 stand-out words in the piece you’ve chosen. Select words that help create the style & that add to the tone (funny, serious, sarcastic, sad…). List those, as on the previous slide, then write the feelings each word gives you. Ask friends and family what feeling they get from the words. Take notes. If the writer is any good, the feelings you list will be the same he/she was aiming for. If a word seems like a bad choice to you – yay! You have something to say in your essay. Are you allowed to be critical of an author? Definitely! Style 1 - ENGL 151L 19 Notice my style here is informal (as in yay!). I know essays make some people nervous and I’m trying to put a lid on that from the get-go. (Or, to say it more formally, I’m attempting to pre-empt or forestall that nervousness from the beginning.)
  • 20.
    Style analysis ofScout, a young child from the classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird. She is bragging about her father’s marksmanship Style Scout’s casual word choice and unusual word order create a strong, real-sounding voice, with a little poetry too. Ain’t everybody’s daddy the deadest shot in Macomb County. No style “Standard” formal English would lose that voice Not everyone’s father is the best shot in Macomb County. Style 1 - ENGL 151L 20
  • 21.
    Diction questions foryour React & Reflect Essay • Do the word choices in this piece have anything to do with my reaction to it? (i.e., is diction the topic I’ll use in my essay, or might another one work better?) • Where does my piece fall on the 3 ranges in slide 17? • Does the diction change from concrete to abstract anywhere? Why might the writer have done that? • What 5 standout words help create the style? • What words come with or bring up a subtle feeling (connotation)? (Ask friends to help!) • If characters talk, what is their speaking style? Different at all from the style of the narrator telling the story? • Is the style of my piece very similar or different from another writer’s I know well? Can I add a section on that for and some or all of the 25 Bonus points? Style 1 - ENGL 151L 21