When it comes to social media - Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, and all the rest - most of us are still trying to keep up with our kids. Where do you turn to try and understand what all the fuss is about, what they might be doing there, and what both the risks and opportunities for relationship building might be?

1. Social Parenting 101
CURTIS MIDDLE SCHOOL • DECEMBER 4, 2012
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2. about.me/miketrap
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COPYRIGHT
©
2012
ACTIFIO

3. The Crew
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4. The Look
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5. My Best Advice
• Bad things can happen. Being concerned about
them is not a strategy for preventing them.
• Educating yourself empowers you to help, and
can even enrich your own relationships.
• A process, aligning freedom & responsibility.
• Contracts provide clarity, transparency, control.
• Focus on preventing mistakes they can’t
recover from. Learn to live with the rest.
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6. Social Media: The Good
• Connecting a global society.
• Enables relationship building.
• Based on “Pull,” Not “Push.”
• Keeps them plugged in to what’s up.
• Keeps you plugged in to them.
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7. Our kids will be more mobile than us,
but may never lose touch with their
first grade classmates.
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8. “Social media is like a cocktail party...”
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9. Social Networks
“The Big Three”
“The Eddie Haskell’s”
“The Sneaky Selfies”
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10. “SoMoLoCo”
• Anything Social is Mobile.
• Anything Mobile is Local.
• Anything Local is Commercial.
• All of it is Commercial.
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11. A Moving Target
• 300 new mobile apps / day
• Most are “social”
• Which are your kid using?
• One of you use them.
• Insist on transparency.
• Agree to invisibility.
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12. Social Media: The Bad
• Like the world: Priests, and Perverts.
• Plus a few Priest Perverts.
• Anonymous, and personal.
• Always on.
• Digital = Permanent.
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13. Amanda Todd
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COPYRIGHT
©
2012
ACTIFIO

14. The Problem
Ability To Create Harmful Consequence
Danger
Magnitude
Zone
Time
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15. A Strategy*
• Focus on the process.
• Define reasonable rules. Get buy-in.
• Gradual… at your speed, not theirs.
• The price of freedom is trust.
• Earned, with time and good judgment.
*Your Mileage May Vary
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16. Facebook Usage Contract
between Jane Smith & her parents
I know that having a Facebook account is a privilege. I respect that my parents
love me and want to keep me safe. My parents respect that I am becoming a
young adult and want the privilege of having a Facebook account. With that in
mind, we agree:
1. I understand that my parents expect full transparency regarding the content
on my Facebook page/account. They can access my account at any time,
and I must share my password with them and notify them if it is ever
changed.
2. I will receive 1 hour each day of “social screen time.” Social screen time
includes: Facebook use on the computer or cell phone; cell phone use
(texting, apps, games, etc.); and non-homework related computer time
(email, YouTube, Chat, etc.). If I am working on a project for fun, such as a
video, more screen time will be allowed.
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17. Facebook Usage Contract
between Jane Smith & her parents
3. I will respect “device free time” which includes during meals, time in the car
immediately after school, and time spent with visiting family members.
4. I agree that if I am unable to keep up with my household responsibilities, or
if I demonstrate untrustworthy behavior, my Facebook account can be
taken away from me.
5. I will not use Facebook account for any malicious or inappropriate purposes
(teasing, bullying, intimidation, etc.) I will remember that what I post
becomes permanent and that I should never post something I wouldn’t feel
comfortable saying directly to a person’s face. If I violate this policy, my
Facebook account can be taken away from me.
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18. Facebook Usage Contract
between Jane Smith & her parents
6. If it is determined that my Facebook account is distracting me to the point
where I exceed my social screen time limits, or my schoolwork suffers, or
impacts my interaction with family members, my Facebook account can be
taken away from me.
7. I will abide by all of these rules and understand that if they are not followed
or if I attempt to circumvent them, there will be consequences including
the loss of my Facebook privilege.
Jane Smith Michael Smith
Jane Smith Michael Smith
Jinny Jones Sarah Smith
Jinny Jones Sarah Smith
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19. The Talk
• “I respect your right to make your own
mistakes. My job is to keep you from making
mistakes you can’t recover from.”
• “In 4 years, you’ll own the consequences of
your choices. We’re going to move from here
to there together, at the rate I decide.”
• “I take this very seriously, because I love
you. I expect you to do the same.”
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20. My Best Advice
• Bad things can happen. Being concerned about
them is not a strategy for preventing them.
• Educating yourself empowers you to help, and
can even enrich your own relationships.
• A process, aligning freedom & responsibility.
• Contracts provide clarity, transparency, control.
• Focus on preventing mistakes they can’t
recover from. Learn to live with the rest.
©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 20

21. Q&A
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22. thank you.
@miketrap