SlideShare a Scribd company logo
Exemplars



SHORT REPORT TEXT TYPE

This section of the Ontario College Writing Exemplars includes four levels of short-
report writing samples rated by the OCWE team. None of these reports is on the same
subject, yet interesting patterns are evident. Approximately half of these report
Exemplars present the results of surveys conducted by the writers, illustrating the
diversity of survey topics developed by the students themselves.

Comparisons between samples on different topics are still possible. For example, at
Level 1, the lowest level in the OCWE system, there are two Exemplars on divergent
topics. One Exemplar is graphically strong, but lacks analysis to mediate between the
data and the conclusions the writer draws. The other Exemplar is visually inaccessible,
lacking sections, sub-headings and graphics. Yet the content is logically developed and
includes the required elements. Contrasts like these help users of the Writing Exemplars
understand how a given level of rating can encompass quite different qualities of written
work.




See page 25 for information on the Rating System.




                                             Ontario College Writing Exemplars          67
Exemplars



Level 4 Short Report                   Sample 1


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compose a report on student field placement work for one’s instructor or supervisor.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Uses headings well,
although overall font is
too small

Makes one bolding
mistake

Demonstrates mature
understanding of what is
needed in a report

Writes vividly




68         Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 2




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          69
Exemplars



Level 4 Short Report                   Sample 2


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compose a short progress report to a personal contact describing one’s achievements to date towards one’s
 educational goal.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Is handwritten for an in-
class exam

Uses headings,
bulleting, and graphics
well

Shows excellent use of
tone and voice

Uses effective diction

Contains subject/verb
agreement error




70        Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 2




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          71
Exemplars


                                           Page 3




72     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 4




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          73
Exemplars


                                           Page 5




74     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                                          Transcription Page 1




To: [Contact’s Name]
From: [Student’s Name]
Date: March 19, 2002
Re: Progress Report



Purpose:
As requested, I have tracked my progress in my area of study, Theatre
Arts – Performance.
The curriculum is composed of three main disciplines:
    1. Voice – The emphasis of this course is on freeing the voice to
       allow for clear communication.
    2. Acting Techniques – This course concentrates on the
       development of basic acting skills.
    3. Movement – This course emphasizes exploration, improvisation
       and developing technical skills in movement of the body.


Findings:

1. Voice
My awareness of my breath and body has increased through the various
physical and vocal exercises. I have a greater vocal flexibility and speak
with efficiency. This vocal dexterity allows me to relate to text and
better comminicate it to the audience. I have explored, and continue to
explore, the placement, resonence and articulation of the voice. The most
significant thing I learned in voice is the difference of “talking to” and
“talking at” a scene partner or audience. The difference is clear but the
execution is subtle and difficult for me at this time.




                                 Ontario College Writing Exemplars           75
Exemplars


                                                                                      Transcription Page 2




                           2. Acting Techniques

                           I have worked on the actor’s instruments, emotions, intellect, creativity
                           and discipline, through text analysis and the preparation of a role. I have
                           been exploring my personal acting mechanism with an empasis on the
                           process, not the final outcome. I found that I need to improve my ability
                           to work with impulse and focus. I have to allow myself to be more
                           vulnerable and ‘play’ more with a role. Many of the techniques learned
                           through my training in other classes has helped me in my Acting
                           Techniques class. This is especially true for Voice which has increased
                           the depth of my roles.

                           3. Movement

                           I have gained a deeper knowledge of how my body is organized for
                           movement and how to develop strength, flexibility and efficiency
                           through conscious engagement. I have continued to develop a dynamic
                           sense of alignment along with increasing awareness of grounding, breath
                           and energy flow. I enjoyed playing with rhythms and the integration of
                           movement with sounding, singing and speaking text.

                           Conclusions and Recommendations

                           I have learned a great deal through my time in Humber’s Teatre Arts –
                           Performance program. I hope to continue to explore myself as an actor
                           and gain more knowledge in the work. In the end of my three years here
                           at Humber, I wish to work as an actor without a necessary secondary job.
                           I believe the education and experience gained at Humber will help me
                           become a better actor and help me achieve my goal to make a living as
                           an actor. I will become the best actor I can possibly be.




76     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 4 Short Report                   Sample 3


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compose an investigation report on an aspect of student or campus life.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Has thorough content

Contains many practical
recommendations

Shows good analytical
content

Makes good transitions

Contains some flaws:
“Subject Line” heading

Needs subcategorization




                                                                           Ontario College Writing Exemplars                    77
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




78     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 3




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          79
Exemplars



Level 4 Short Report                   Sample 4


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry
 based on what one has learned in one’s program courses.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Shows clear structure
and introduction to each
section

Is professionally
formatted

Contains explanations
and exemplification

Is comprehensible to
general audience

Shows inconsistent
formatting in indented
paragraphs

The topic was program
related, not research, so
no citations are required




80        Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 2




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          81
Exemplars


                                           Page 3




82     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 3 Short Report                   Sample 1


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry
 based on what one has learned in one’s program courses.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Sets out a good
alternating comparison

Has formatting issues:
document should be
single spaced and needs
more graphics to
highlight contents

Conclusion is
fragmented: Result
section is part of the
conclusion

Requires more detail
e.g., brand names

Has some grammar
errors under Operator
Requirements




                                                                           Ontario College Writing Exemplars                      83
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




84     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 3




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          85
Exemplars


                                           Page 4




86     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 3 Short Report                   Sample 2


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compose a short progress report to a personal contact describing one’s achievements to date towards one’s
 educational goal.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Document is
handwritten because
assignment was an in-
class exam with no
access to computers

Is well organized and
sectioned

Shows appropriate
understanding of
audience and purpose

Concludes well

Has awkward wording
and parallelism
problems

Needs headings e.g.,
“Achievements”




                                                                           Ontario College Writing Exemplars                    87
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




88     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 3




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          89
Exemplars


                                                                                              Transcription




            To: [Contact’s Name]
            From: [Student’s Name]
            Date: March 19, 2002

            Re: My Educational Goal and Progress



            Purpose:
            As according to our agreement, I am submitting to you a progress report describing my
            headway toward my educational goal of becoming a full time chef.
            The following is a list of my achievements and the things I have left to complete in order
            to become a chef.
            1. Completed first year of culinary management
            2. Attained 2 years of restaurant experience
            3. Considering opening catering business



            Findings:
            1. Completed First Year of Culinary Management
            In completing my first year of culinary management at George Brown College, I have
            received a great introduction to the business and hands-on skills required to work well and
            effectively in a kitchen. By the time I graduate from this 2-year program next year, I will
            have attained the essential skills and experience to work well in the kitchen as a chef.
            2. Attained 2 years of Restaurant Experience
            Before entering college, I have worked in restaurants as a waitress, a host and as kitchen
            help. With this experience, it will help me to become a well rounded chef by knowing all
            sides of the restaurant business. As well, through more years of restaurant experience, I
            will be eligible for a high annual salary.
            3. Considering Opening Catering Business
            In time, I may consider opening a catering business with my experience. By opening this
            business, it will allow me to be my own boss and to work closer to home most of the time.

            Conclusion and Recommendations
            It will take a few more years to gain the experience needed to be successful in the
            restaurant business. However, with the love for what I do, and the determination, I know
            in time, all hard work will pay off.




90     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 3 Short Report                   Sample 3


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to prepare an investigation report on an aspect of student or campus life.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Demonstrates some
understanding of memo
format

Contains fact-based
content

Has format problem in
subject line

Partly meets established
conventions of text
type, but needs bullets,
proper line spacing,
paragraphs in block
format

Tone is conversational
(“I feel”)

Contains error in
subject-verb agreement




                                                                           Ontario College Writing Exemplars                    91
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




92     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 3 Short Report                   Sample 4


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compose an analytical report comparing items for company purchase.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Is dependent on prompt
for fact-based content

Opens weakly

Displays errors in
grammar and word
choice

Has format problems in
conclusion heading;
Works Cited format;
inappropriate use of
bold in font style

Uses inconsistent tone
(sentence structure and
word choice)

Is limited in
consideration of
audience and purpose




                                                                           Ontario College Writing Exemplars                    93
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




94     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 3




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          95
Exemplars



Level 3 Short Report                   Sample 5


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to prepare an analytical report on the results of a survey one has developed and conducted.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Deals with a generic
subject

Provides some
commentary

Conveys authentic
informal research

Shows thoughtful
analysis

Uses headings
consistently

A supporting graph or
table would have
enhanced reader’s
comprehension of
material

Contains awkward,
unclear sentences

Needs breakdown of
extra-long paragraph




96        Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 2




Ontario College Writing Exemplars          97
Exemplars


                                           Page 3




98     Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 1


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry
 based on what one has learned in one’s program courses.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Demonstrates
understanding of memo
heading format

Lacks headings (a
formatting deficiency
which prevents this
Exemplar from being
rated as Level 3)

Contains basic fact-
based content

Contains some
colloquial language
(“trickier and more of a
gamble,” “incredibly”)

Controls grammar with
simple sentence
structure

Contains several vague
pronoun references

Contains some comma
errors, including one
comma splice

Contains an apostrophe
error




                                                                           Ontario College Writing Exemplars                      99
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




100    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 3




Ontario College Writing Exemplars         101
Exemplars


                                           Page 4




102    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 2


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry
 based on what one has learned in one’s program courses.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Demonstrates limited
understanding of memo
heading format (lacks
meaningful subject line,
includes confusing date)

Opens like an essay

Presents confusing
results

Lacks graphic
representation of results

Lacks analysis

Lacks the key element
of direct relationship
between data and
conclusion

Lacks consideration of
audience

Is too “I” focused




                                                                         Ontario College Writing Exemplars                     103
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




104    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 3             ESL


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compose a performance review of an employee, including recommendations for improvement.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Demonstrates
understanding of memo
heading format

Is organized with
headings

Uses numbered lists

Conveys polite tone

Displays ESL writing
characteristics: mistakes
appear to be second
language features,
including apostrophe
errors, pronoun usage,
spellings, some missing
articles, plural errors,
and verb tense errors

Lacks parallelism




                                                                         Ontario College Writing Exemplars                     105
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




106    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 4


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to investigate two charities and write a short report to the chair of one’s company donations committee
 evaluating the charities and recommending a selection for donations.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
10- or 12-point font is
required

Inappropriate use of
capitals

Contains run-on
sentence

Contains too much
breakdown

Needs clarity in subject
line

Concludes weakly

Relationship between
data and analysis of data
is disproportionate

Needs coherence
between
recommendation and
conclusions

Conclusions lack
consideration of
audience and purpose of
task




                                                                         Ontario College Writing Exemplars                     107
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




108    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 3




Ontario College Writing Exemplars         109
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 5


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compose an investigation report on an aspect of student or campus life.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Confuses title and
subject

Introduction consists of
a narrative of the
process used for the
investigation

Uses passive voice

Needs bullets

The relevance of the
detail is not apparent

Needs improved
formatting

Presentation detracts
from genuine research
carried out

Uses colloquial
language
inappropriately




110        Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 2




Ontario College Writing Exemplars         111
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 6


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compose an investigation report detailing and analyzing results of research conducted on a topic of interest to
 students or the workforce.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Opens weakly; purpose
is unclear

Has problems with
format and font

Creates confusion with
list

Grammatical errors are
evident: errors with
article use

Has problems with
logical coherence at the
end

Content is not presented
as research

Is confusing to reader

Little regard for
audience needs




112        Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 7


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to prepare a report for one’s instructor analyzing and evaluating a classmate’s oral presentation.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Uses clear layout and
headings

Summarizes content to
negligible extent

Contains only sketchy
analysis

Displays grammar
errors




                                                                         Ontario College Writing Exemplars                     113
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




114    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 8


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry
 based on what one has learned in one’s program courses.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Develops content only
minimally

Includes definitions, but
they are sometimes
confusing (samplers and
synthesizers are devices,
not techniques)

Fails to explain some
terms (“equalization”,
“Casio”)

Introduces a new topic
(software) in the
conclusion

Shifts point of view in
conclusion

Looses control of tone
in conclusion




                                                                         Ontario College Writing Exemplars                     115
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




116    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 2 Short Report                   Sample 9             ESL


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to compile an analytical report for one’s supervisor proposing upgrades to office computer systems.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Demonstrates good use
of sections including
headings and
subheadings

Sections appear as block

Uses memo format, but
incorrectly

Uses active voice

Subject line could be
more succinct

Demonstrates poor
control within
paragraphs—too many
points included in each

Lacks summary,
recommendations,
conclusions

Demonstrates problems
with word use




                                                                         Ontario College Writing Exemplars                     117
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




118    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 1 Short Report                   Sample 1


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to prepare an analytical report based on the results of the survey one has developed and conducted.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Highlights graphics at
the expense of content

Lacks analysis and
connections between
graphs, text, and
conclusion

Lacks appropriate
headings

Contains little
development of ideas

Has problem with title
on page two pie chart

Does not adhere to
format conventions of
text type (headings,
subheadings, blocks of
text)

Violates format
convention by signing

Contains grammar
errors




                                                                         Ontario College Writing Exemplars                     119
Exemplars


                                           Page 2




120    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 3




Ontario College Writing Exemplars         121
Exemplars


                                           Page 4




122    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars



Level 1 Short Report                   Sample 2


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to prepare an analytical report based on the results of the survey one has developed and conducted.




Comments
Demonstrates strong
development of ideas

Lacks graphics,
headings, and other
formatting cues for
Short Report text type

Contains numerous
spelling errors

Violates format
conventions (lacks
sections and graphics)

Contains unclear,
excessively long
sentences

Presents research
synopsis rather than a
full report




                                                                         Ontario College Writing Exemplars                   123
Exemplars



Level 1 Short Report                   Sample 3


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to write an investigation report for a Performance Arts student explaining issues in obtaining an agent, including
 qualities agents seek and recommended contacts.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Assignment is
handwritten because
produced in class

Misunderstands
assignment purpose

Demonstrates poor
analysis of researched
materials; no
relationship between
information and
conclusion

Content is essentially a
list

Is unclear about what
the sources represent

Uses colloquial
language




124        Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 2




Ontario College Writing Exemplars         125
Exemplars


                                           Page 3




126    Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                                                    Transcription




To: [Contact’s Name]
From: [Student’s Name]
Date: March 19th, 2002
Re: Jimmie Dean, graduating student from Theatre Humber

Purpose:
Jimmie Dean is in the Pursuit in finding an agent. He just recently
graduated from the Humber College theatre program. Being a Humber
graduate, Jimmie Dean feels that he received the training needed in
today’s theatre.

Theatre History:
Jimmie Dean played in a numerous amount of plays in his graduating
year. His credits are as follows: Death of a Salesman (Willie Loman),
Glen Gary Glen Ross (Richard Roma), Romeo and Juliet (Mercutio),
The Glass Menagerie (Tom Wigfield), The Two Gentlemen of Verona
(Proteus, and Criminal Genius (Philly).

Sources:
CBC Talent Resource Centre, 250 Front St. W. (416) 205-3311
Canadian Actors’ Equity Association, 260 Richmond St. E, (416) 867-
9165
Theatrebooks, 11 St. Thomas St., (416) 922-7175
Theatrebooks sells a book for about $10.00 that lists the phone numbers
of Toronto agencies.

Conclusion:
I’ve known Jimmie Dean for about four years know. I don’t think that
there is a actor out there that has the same drive as Jimmie. He is very
dedicated to theatre and loves to work. I trust that the resources
mentioned would benefit Jimmie.




                                Ontario College Writing Exemplars            127
Exemplars



Level 1 Short Report                   Sample 4


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to investigate two charities and write a short report to the chair of one’s company donations committee
 evaluating the charities and recommending a selection for donations.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Content attempts a
block comparison of
two organizations, but
lacks parallel
information and details
(such as statistics for the
Canadian Cancer
Society, research
information for Herbie
Fund)

Format is confusing to
the reader, especially
lack of graphics, and
unclear and repetitive
headings

Introduction does not
clarify informational or
analytical purpose of
report

Recommendation
represents circular
logic; ending lacks a
direct relationship
between data and
conclusions and
recommendations

Lacks an overall
consideration of
audience and purpose




128        Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 2




Ontario College Writing Exemplars         129
Exemplars



Level 1 Short Report                   Sample 5


 Task

 Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted
 formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and
 organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories.

 Assignment: to write a job performance review for a senior company officer regarding an employee about whom there have
 been complaints.

                                                                                                                             Page 1




Comments
Report is hand-written
because prepared as an
in-class assignment

Uses headings but lacks
formal internal
organization to convey
meaning adequately

Uses inappropriately
familiar tone and diction
(“I”, “barely anybody”,
“such a sweet
wom[a]n”)

Contains spelling and
proofreading errors
(“women”,
“saddening”)

Reflects weak
understanding of
purpose of report (“I
have decided upon those
recommendations”)

Headings and content
lack logical order
(recommendations
precede findings)




130       Ontario College Writing Exemplars
Exemplars


                                       Page 2




Ontario College Writing Exemplars         131
Exemplars


                                           Page 3




132    Ontario College Writing Exemplars

More Related Content

What's hot

Assessing writing presentation
Assessing writing presentationAssessing writing presentation
Assessing writing presentation
Uzi Ilman
 
A sample of analytic scoring rubrics
A sample of analytic scoring rubricsA sample of analytic scoring rubrics
A sample of analytic scoring rubrics
Reyza Diannova
 
Modul bahasa inggris xi unit 3 analytical exposition
Modul bahasa inggris xi unit 3 analytical expositionModul bahasa inggris xi unit 3 analytical exposition
Modul bahasa inggris xi unit 3 analytical exposition
sman 2 mataram
 
Teaching Writing
Teaching WritingTeaching Writing
Teaching Writing
Eka Dev Adhikari
 
What is writing?
What is writing?What is writing?
What is writing?
Raymond Dela Cuesta
 
reading and writing
 reading and writing reading and writing
reading and writing
Abigail Estoesta
 
Assignment 1 grading criteria
Assignment 1 grading criteriaAssignment 1 grading criteria
Assignment 1 grading criteria
RhianWynWilliams
 
Analitic rubrics
Analitic rubricsAnalitic rubrics
Analitic rubrics
escobarpaulina
 
Analitic rubrics
Analitic rubricsAnalitic rubrics
Analitic rubrics
ingridbelloa
 
XCOM100_CourseSyllabus-1x
XCOM100_CourseSyllabus-1xXCOM100_CourseSyllabus-1x
XCOM100_CourseSyllabus-1x
Praveen Sudarsan
 
The Research Assignment
The Research AssignmentThe Research Assignment
The Research Assignment
Abigail Bacon
 
Building Units of Effective Writing (in English)
Building Units of Effective Writing (in English)Building Units of Effective Writing (in English)
Building Units of Effective Writing (in English)
trinorei22
 
WRI 102 Syllabus Spring 09
WRI 102 Syllabus Spring 09WRI 102 Syllabus Spring 09
WRI 102 Syllabus Spring 09
Dennis Lewis, PhD
 
AUS_101 Syllabus, Spring 2009
AUS_101 Syllabus, Spring 2009AUS_101 Syllabus, Spring 2009
AUS_101 Syllabus, Spring 2009
Dennis Lewis, PhD
 
2014 reflective writing workshop for 271256
2014 reflective writing workshop for 2712562014 reflective writing workshop for 271256
2014 reflective writing workshop for 271256
Martin McMorrow
 
Writing strategy
Writing strategyWriting strategy
Writing strategy
G.j. Darma
 
Keystone 2012 literature.ppt
Keystone 2012   literature.pptKeystone 2012   literature.ppt
Keystone 2012 literature.ppt
aswinehart
 
Txtbk ev
Txtbk evTxtbk ev
Integrated skills iv spac
Integrated skills iv spacIntegrated skills iv spac
Integrated skills iv spac
SPAC1
 
Assessment & Curriculum Design for International Graduate Students
Assessment & Curriculum Design for International Graduate StudentsAssessment & Curriculum Design for International Graduate Students
Assessment & Curriculum Design for International Graduate Students
nancyabney
 

What's hot (20)

Assessing writing presentation
Assessing writing presentationAssessing writing presentation
Assessing writing presentation
 
A sample of analytic scoring rubrics
A sample of analytic scoring rubricsA sample of analytic scoring rubrics
A sample of analytic scoring rubrics
 
Modul bahasa inggris xi unit 3 analytical exposition
Modul bahasa inggris xi unit 3 analytical expositionModul bahasa inggris xi unit 3 analytical exposition
Modul bahasa inggris xi unit 3 analytical exposition
 
Teaching Writing
Teaching WritingTeaching Writing
Teaching Writing
 
What is writing?
What is writing?What is writing?
What is writing?
 
reading and writing
 reading and writing reading and writing
reading and writing
 
Assignment 1 grading criteria
Assignment 1 grading criteriaAssignment 1 grading criteria
Assignment 1 grading criteria
 
Analitic rubrics
Analitic rubricsAnalitic rubrics
Analitic rubrics
 
Analitic rubrics
Analitic rubricsAnalitic rubrics
Analitic rubrics
 
XCOM100_CourseSyllabus-1x
XCOM100_CourseSyllabus-1xXCOM100_CourseSyllabus-1x
XCOM100_CourseSyllabus-1x
 
The Research Assignment
The Research AssignmentThe Research Assignment
The Research Assignment
 
Building Units of Effective Writing (in English)
Building Units of Effective Writing (in English)Building Units of Effective Writing (in English)
Building Units of Effective Writing (in English)
 
WRI 102 Syllabus Spring 09
WRI 102 Syllabus Spring 09WRI 102 Syllabus Spring 09
WRI 102 Syllabus Spring 09
 
AUS_101 Syllabus, Spring 2009
AUS_101 Syllabus, Spring 2009AUS_101 Syllabus, Spring 2009
AUS_101 Syllabus, Spring 2009
 
2014 reflective writing workshop for 271256
2014 reflective writing workshop for 2712562014 reflective writing workshop for 271256
2014 reflective writing workshop for 271256
 
Writing strategy
Writing strategyWriting strategy
Writing strategy
 
Keystone 2012 literature.ppt
Keystone 2012   literature.pptKeystone 2012   literature.ppt
Keystone 2012 literature.ppt
 
Txtbk ev
Txtbk evTxtbk ev
Txtbk ev
 
Integrated skills iv spac
Integrated skills iv spacIntegrated skills iv spac
Integrated skills iv spac
 
Assessment & Curriculum Design for International Graduate Students
Assessment & Curriculum Design for International Graduate StudentsAssessment & Curriculum Design for International Graduate Students
Assessment & Curriculum Design for International Graduate Students
 

Viewers also liked

Bullivant
BullivantBullivant
Bullivant
mcneeteach
 
InterviewExemplar
InterviewExemplarInterviewExemplar
InterviewExemplar
mcneeteach
 
ENG4CCurriculumDocument
ENG4CCurriculumDocumentENG4CCurriculumDocument
ENG4CCurriculumDocument
mcneeteach
 
Student Learning Plan Chart
Student Learning Plan ChartStudent Learning Plan Chart
Student Learning Plan Chart
mcneeteach
 
4 Corners
4 Corners4 Corners
4 Corners
mcneeteach
 
TeachingSTSE1
TeachingSTSE1TeachingSTSE1
TeachingSTSE1
mcneeteach
 
How can this be
How can this beHow can this be
How can this be
mcneeteach
 
NOTE TAKING
NOTE TAKINGNOTE TAKING
NOTE TAKING
mcneeteach
 
Research4C4U
Research4C4UResearch4C4U
Research4C4U
mcneeteach
 
ArticleA life with purpose and meaning
ArticleA life with purpose and meaningArticleA life with purpose and meaning
ArticleA life with purpose and meaning
mcneeteach
 
Student Learning Plan Exemplar
Student Learning Plan ExemplarStudent Learning Plan Exemplar
Student Learning Plan Exemplar
mcneeteach
 
Receitas Banana Passa
Receitas Banana PassaReceitas Banana Passa
Receitas Banana Passa
MaisVitamina
 
9.Geog.Acad.Outline.08 - Port Perry
9.Geog.Acad.Outline.08 - Port Perry9.Geog.Acad.Outline.08 - Port Perry
9.Geog.Acad.Outline.08 - Port Perry
mcneeteach
 
Week3
Week3Week3
Week3
mcneeteach
 
Shortreportpresentation 090419025639 Phpapp02
Shortreportpresentation 090419025639 Phpapp02Shortreportpresentation 090419025639 Phpapp02
Shortreportpresentation 090419025639 Phpapp02
mcneeteach
 
Next 2 weeks unit 2
Next 2 weeks unit 2Next 2 weeks unit 2
Next 2 weeks unit 2
mcneeteach
 
Proofreading Review 1217255042300017 9
Proofreading Review 1217255042300017 9Proofreading Review 1217255042300017 9
Proofreading Review 1217255042300017 9
mcneeteach
 

Viewers also liked (19)

Bullivant
BullivantBullivant
Bullivant
 
InterviewExemplar
InterviewExemplarInterviewExemplar
InterviewExemplar
 
ENG4CCurriculumDocument
ENG4CCurriculumDocumentENG4CCurriculumDocument
ENG4CCurriculumDocument
 
xx
xxxx
xx
 
Student Learning Plan Chart
Student Learning Plan ChartStudent Learning Plan Chart
Student Learning Plan Chart
 
4 Corners
4 Corners4 Corners
4 Corners
 
TeachingSTSE1
TeachingSTSE1TeachingSTSE1
TeachingSTSE1
 
How can this be
How can this beHow can this be
How can this be
 
NOTE TAKING
NOTE TAKINGNOTE TAKING
NOTE TAKING
 
Research4C4U
Research4C4UResearch4C4U
Research4C4U
 
ArticleA life with purpose and meaning
ArticleA life with purpose and meaningArticleA life with purpose and meaning
ArticleA life with purpose and meaning
 
Student Learning Plan Exemplar
Student Learning Plan ExemplarStudent Learning Plan Exemplar
Student Learning Plan Exemplar
 
Receitas Banana Passa
Receitas Banana PassaReceitas Banana Passa
Receitas Banana Passa
 
9.Geog.Acad.Outline.08 - Port Perry
9.Geog.Acad.Outline.08 - Port Perry9.Geog.Acad.Outline.08 - Port Perry
9.Geog.Acad.Outline.08 - Port Perry
 
Week3
Week3Week3
Week3
 
Shortreportpresentation 090419025639 Phpapp02
Shortreportpresentation 090419025639 Phpapp02Shortreportpresentation 090419025639 Phpapp02
Shortreportpresentation 090419025639 Phpapp02
 
Next 2 weeks unit 2
Next 2 weeks unit 2Next 2 weeks unit 2
Next 2 weeks unit 2
 
Proofreading Review 1217255042300017 9
Proofreading Review 1217255042300017 9Proofreading Review 1217255042300017 9
Proofreading Review 1217255042300017 9
 
Azeite
AzeiteAzeite
Azeite
 

Similar to ShortReportExemplars[1]

Process orientedperformance-basedassessment
Process orientedperformance-basedassessmentProcess orientedperformance-basedassessment
Process orientedperformance-basedassessment
jabello glaiza
 
Performance assessment by rubric method
Performance assessment by rubric methodPerformance assessment by rubric method
Performance assessment by rubric method
Abigail Sapico
 
Year 9 assignment.imaginative literary transformation
Year 9 assignment.imaginative literary transformationYear 9 assignment.imaginative literary transformation
Year 9 assignment.imaginative literary transformation
jennifer_lawrence
 
The essentials of writing cmh
The essentials of writing cmhThe essentials of writing cmh
The essentials of writing cmh
Istanbul Bilgi University
 
Alternatives in assessment
Alternatives in assessmentAlternatives in assessment
Alternatives in assessment
Yamith José Fandiño Parra
 
Obe english 3 final (doe copy)
Obe english 3 final (doe copy)Obe english 3 final (doe copy)
Obe english 3 final (doe copy)
Gian Romano
 
Reflective analysis helps you to make an evidence-based argument.docx
Reflective analysis helps you to make an evidence-based argument.docxReflective analysis helps you to make an evidence-based argument.docx
Reflective analysis helps you to make an evidence-based argument.docx
carlt3
 
Beyond tests alternatives in assessment
Beyond tests alternatives in assessmentBeyond tests alternatives in assessment
Beyond tests alternatives in assessment
Yamith José Fandiño Parra
 
Revised ENG160 Sections
Revised ENG160 SectionsRevised ENG160 Sections
Revised ENG160 Sections
rigolinr
 
Peer feedback or response in writing class
Peer feedback or response in writing classPeer feedback or response in writing class
Peer feedback or response in writing class
Nuttapong Rutamornchai
 
Process oriented performance-based assessment
Process oriented performance-based assessmentProcess oriented performance-based assessment
Process oriented performance-based assessment
renarch
 
Process oriented performance-based assessment
Process oriented performance-based assessmentProcess oriented performance-based assessment
Process oriented performance-based assessment
renarch
 
Essay activities in all year level
Essay activities in all year levelEssay activities in all year level
Essay activities in all year level
Joash Nadab Lao-e
 
Writing assessment
Writing assessmentWriting assessment
Writing assessment
lilian2050
 
Alternative Assessments in Everyday Lessons,, Mam Afroza Akhter Tina
Alternative Assessments in Everyday Lessons,, Mam Afroza Akhter Tina Alternative Assessments in Everyday Lessons,, Mam Afroza Akhter Tina
Alternative Assessments in Everyday Lessons,, Mam Afroza Akhter Tina
SajjadAliHP1
 
Alternatives in assessment
Alternatives in assessmentAlternatives in assessment
Alternatives in assessment
RochiLuu
 
Differences between product and process approach
Differences between product and process approachDifferences between product and process approach
Differences between product and process approach
Naney Ans
 
Character taskb
Character taskbCharacter taskb
Character taskb
C Rankin
 
Beyond tests copy
Beyond tests   copyBeyond tests   copy
Beyond tests copy
Ikfi Husna
 
ASSESSMENT: WRITING COMPREHENSION ASSESSMENT
ASSESSMENT: WRITING COMPREHENSION ASSESSMENTASSESSMENT: WRITING COMPREHENSION ASSESSMENT
ASSESSMENT: WRITING COMPREHENSION ASSESSMENT
A. Tenry Lawangen Aspat Colle
 

Similar to ShortReportExemplars[1] (20)

Process orientedperformance-basedassessment
Process orientedperformance-basedassessmentProcess orientedperformance-basedassessment
Process orientedperformance-basedassessment
 
Performance assessment by rubric method
Performance assessment by rubric methodPerformance assessment by rubric method
Performance assessment by rubric method
 
Year 9 assignment.imaginative literary transformation
Year 9 assignment.imaginative literary transformationYear 9 assignment.imaginative literary transformation
Year 9 assignment.imaginative literary transformation
 
The essentials of writing cmh
The essentials of writing cmhThe essentials of writing cmh
The essentials of writing cmh
 
Alternatives in assessment
Alternatives in assessmentAlternatives in assessment
Alternatives in assessment
 
Obe english 3 final (doe copy)
Obe english 3 final (doe copy)Obe english 3 final (doe copy)
Obe english 3 final (doe copy)
 
Reflective analysis helps you to make an evidence-based argument.docx
Reflective analysis helps you to make an evidence-based argument.docxReflective analysis helps you to make an evidence-based argument.docx
Reflective analysis helps you to make an evidence-based argument.docx
 
Beyond tests alternatives in assessment
Beyond tests alternatives in assessmentBeyond tests alternatives in assessment
Beyond tests alternatives in assessment
 
Revised ENG160 Sections
Revised ENG160 SectionsRevised ENG160 Sections
Revised ENG160 Sections
 
Peer feedback or response in writing class
Peer feedback or response in writing classPeer feedback or response in writing class
Peer feedback or response in writing class
 
Process oriented performance-based assessment
Process oriented performance-based assessmentProcess oriented performance-based assessment
Process oriented performance-based assessment
 
Process oriented performance-based assessment
Process oriented performance-based assessmentProcess oriented performance-based assessment
Process oriented performance-based assessment
 
Essay activities in all year level
Essay activities in all year levelEssay activities in all year level
Essay activities in all year level
 
Writing assessment
Writing assessmentWriting assessment
Writing assessment
 
Alternative Assessments in Everyday Lessons,, Mam Afroza Akhter Tina
Alternative Assessments in Everyday Lessons,, Mam Afroza Akhter Tina Alternative Assessments in Everyday Lessons,, Mam Afroza Akhter Tina
Alternative Assessments in Everyday Lessons,, Mam Afroza Akhter Tina
 
Alternatives in assessment
Alternatives in assessmentAlternatives in assessment
Alternatives in assessment
 
Differences between product and process approach
Differences between product and process approachDifferences between product and process approach
Differences between product and process approach
 
Character taskb
Character taskbCharacter taskb
Character taskb
 
Beyond tests copy
Beyond tests   copyBeyond tests   copy
Beyond tests copy
 
ASSESSMENT: WRITING COMPREHENSION ASSESSMENT
ASSESSMENT: WRITING COMPREHENSION ASSESSMENTASSESSMENT: WRITING COMPREHENSION ASSESSMENT
ASSESSMENT: WRITING COMPREHENSION ASSESSMENT
 

More from mcneeteach

World Religions 1201680727673328 2
World Religions 1201680727673328 2World Religions 1201680727673328 2
World Religions 1201680727673328 2
mcneeteach
 
Level4 Short Report
Level4 Short ReportLevel4 Short Report
Level4 Short Report
mcneeteach
 
ArticleConnected To Nowhere
ArticleConnected To NowhereArticleConnected To Nowhere
ArticleConnected To Nowhere
mcneeteach
 
Media-musicProject
Media-musicProjectMedia-musicProject
Media-musicProject
mcneeteach
 
The Musical Medium
The Musical MediumThe Musical Medium
The Musical Medium
mcneeteach
 
HowtoFrametermsforsearching
HowtoFrametermsforsearchingHowtoFrametermsforsearching
HowtoFrametermsforsearching
mcneeteach
 
ChartTSTSE
ChartTSTSEChartTSTSE
ChartTSTSE
mcneeteach
 
Teacher as Model
Teacher as ModelTeacher as Model
Teacher as Model
mcneeteach
 
TakeaTesttakingTest
TakeaTesttakingTestTakeaTesttakingTest
TakeaTesttakingTest
mcneeteach
 
Fiction Flowchart
Fiction FlowchartFiction Flowchart
Fiction Flowchart
mcneeteach
 
The ICE Model
The ICE ModelThe ICE Model
The ICE Model
mcneeteach
 
ShortReportRubric
ShortReportRubricShortReportRubric
ShortReportRubric
mcneeteach
 
WorksCitedGroupP
WorksCitedGroupPWorksCitedGroupP
WorksCitedGroupP
mcneeteach
 

More from mcneeteach (20)

World Religions 1201680727673328 2
World Religions 1201680727673328 2World Religions 1201680727673328 2
World Religions 1201680727673328 2
 
Level4 Short Report
Level4 Short ReportLevel4 Short Report
Level4 Short Report
 
ArticleConnected To Nowhere
ArticleConnected To NowhereArticleConnected To Nowhere
ArticleConnected To Nowhere
 
Media-musicProject
Media-musicProjectMedia-musicProject
Media-musicProject
 
The Musical Medium
The Musical MediumThe Musical Medium
The Musical Medium
 
25.jpg
25.jpg25.jpg
25.jpg
 
HowtoFrametermsforsearching
HowtoFrametermsforsearchingHowtoFrametermsforsearching
HowtoFrametermsforsearching
 
blankrubric1
blankrubric1blankrubric1
blankrubric1
 
ChartTSTSE
ChartTSTSEChartTSTSE
ChartTSTSE
 
Teacher as Model
Teacher as ModelTeacher as Model
Teacher as Model
 
TakeaTesttakingTest
TakeaTesttakingTestTakeaTesttakingTest
TakeaTesttakingTest
 
17.jpg
17.jpg17.jpg
17.jpg
 
Fiction Flowchart
Fiction FlowchartFiction Flowchart
Fiction Flowchart
 
The ICE Model
The ICE ModelThe ICE Model
The ICE Model
 
3.jpg
3.jpg3.jpg
3.jpg
 
15.jpg
15.jpg15.jpg
15.jpg
 
4.jpg
4.jpg4.jpg
4.jpg
 
ShortReportRubric
ShortReportRubricShortReportRubric
ShortReportRubric
 
16.jpg
16.jpg16.jpg
16.jpg
 
WorksCitedGroupP
WorksCitedGroupPWorksCitedGroupP
WorksCitedGroupP
 

ShortReportExemplars[1]

  • 1. Exemplars SHORT REPORT TEXT TYPE This section of the Ontario College Writing Exemplars includes four levels of short- report writing samples rated by the OCWE team. None of these reports is on the same subject, yet interesting patterns are evident. Approximately half of these report Exemplars present the results of surveys conducted by the writers, illustrating the diversity of survey topics developed by the students themselves. Comparisons between samples on different topics are still possible. For example, at Level 1, the lowest level in the OCWE system, there are two Exemplars on divergent topics. One Exemplar is graphically strong, but lacks analysis to mediate between the data and the conclusions the writer draws. The other Exemplar is visually inaccessible, lacking sections, sub-headings and graphics. Yet the content is logically developed and includes the required elements. Contrasts like these help users of the Writing Exemplars understand how a given level of rating can encompass quite different qualities of written work. See page 25 for information on the Rating System. Ontario College Writing Exemplars 67
  • 2. Exemplars Level 4 Short Report Sample 1 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compose a report on student field placement work for one’s instructor or supervisor. Page 1 Comments Uses headings well, although overall font is too small Makes one bolding mistake Demonstrates mature understanding of what is needed in a report Writes vividly 68 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 3. Exemplars Page 2 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 69
  • 4. Exemplars Level 4 Short Report Sample 2 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compose a short progress report to a personal contact describing one’s achievements to date towards one’s educational goal. Page 1 Comments Is handwritten for an in- class exam Uses headings, bulleting, and graphics well Shows excellent use of tone and voice Uses effective diction Contains subject/verb agreement error 70 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 5. Exemplars Page 2 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 71
  • 6. Exemplars Page 3 72 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 7. Exemplars Page 4 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 73
  • 8. Exemplars Page 5 74 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 9. Exemplars Transcription Page 1 To: [Contact’s Name] From: [Student’s Name] Date: March 19, 2002 Re: Progress Report Purpose: As requested, I have tracked my progress in my area of study, Theatre Arts – Performance. The curriculum is composed of three main disciplines: 1. Voice – The emphasis of this course is on freeing the voice to allow for clear communication. 2. Acting Techniques – This course concentrates on the development of basic acting skills. 3. Movement – This course emphasizes exploration, improvisation and developing technical skills in movement of the body. Findings: 1. Voice My awareness of my breath and body has increased through the various physical and vocal exercises. I have a greater vocal flexibility and speak with efficiency. This vocal dexterity allows me to relate to text and better comminicate it to the audience. I have explored, and continue to explore, the placement, resonence and articulation of the voice. The most significant thing I learned in voice is the difference of “talking to” and “talking at” a scene partner or audience. The difference is clear but the execution is subtle and difficult for me at this time. Ontario College Writing Exemplars 75
  • 10. Exemplars Transcription Page 2 2. Acting Techniques I have worked on the actor’s instruments, emotions, intellect, creativity and discipline, through text analysis and the preparation of a role. I have been exploring my personal acting mechanism with an empasis on the process, not the final outcome. I found that I need to improve my ability to work with impulse and focus. I have to allow myself to be more vulnerable and ‘play’ more with a role. Many of the techniques learned through my training in other classes has helped me in my Acting Techniques class. This is especially true for Voice which has increased the depth of my roles. 3. Movement I have gained a deeper knowledge of how my body is organized for movement and how to develop strength, flexibility and efficiency through conscious engagement. I have continued to develop a dynamic sense of alignment along with increasing awareness of grounding, breath and energy flow. I enjoyed playing with rhythms and the integration of movement with sounding, singing and speaking text. Conclusions and Recommendations I have learned a great deal through my time in Humber’s Teatre Arts – Performance program. I hope to continue to explore myself as an actor and gain more knowledge in the work. In the end of my three years here at Humber, I wish to work as an actor without a necessary secondary job. I believe the education and experience gained at Humber will help me become a better actor and help me achieve my goal to make a living as an actor. I will become the best actor I can possibly be. 76 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 11. Exemplars Level 4 Short Report Sample 3 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compose an investigation report on an aspect of student or campus life. Page 1 Comments Has thorough content Contains many practical recommendations Shows good analytical content Makes good transitions Contains some flaws: “Subject Line” heading Needs subcategorization Ontario College Writing Exemplars 77
  • 12. Exemplars Page 2 78 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 13. Exemplars Page 3 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 79
  • 14. Exemplars Level 4 Short Report Sample 4 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry based on what one has learned in one’s program courses. Page 1 Comments Shows clear structure and introduction to each section Is professionally formatted Contains explanations and exemplification Is comprehensible to general audience Shows inconsistent formatting in indented paragraphs The topic was program related, not research, so no citations are required 80 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 15. Exemplars Page 2 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 81
  • 16. Exemplars Page 3 82 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 17. Exemplars Level 3 Short Report Sample 1 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry based on what one has learned in one’s program courses. Page 1 Comments Sets out a good alternating comparison Has formatting issues: document should be single spaced and needs more graphics to highlight contents Conclusion is fragmented: Result section is part of the conclusion Requires more detail e.g., brand names Has some grammar errors under Operator Requirements Ontario College Writing Exemplars 83
  • 18. Exemplars Page 2 84 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 19. Exemplars Page 3 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 85
  • 20. Exemplars Page 4 86 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 21. Exemplars Level 3 Short Report Sample 2 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compose a short progress report to a personal contact describing one’s achievements to date towards one’s educational goal. Page 1 Comments Document is handwritten because assignment was an in- class exam with no access to computers Is well organized and sectioned Shows appropriate understanding of audience and purpose Concludes well Has awkward wording and parallelism problems Needs headings e.g., “Achievements” Ontario College Writing Exemplars 87
  • 22. Exemplars Page 2 88 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 23. Exemplars Page 3 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 89
  • 24. Exemplars Transcription To: [Contact’s Name] From: [Student’s Name] Date: March 19, 2002 Re: My Educational Goal and Progress Purpose: As according to our agreement, I am submitting to you a progress report describing my headway toward my educational goal of becoming a full time chef. The following is a list of my achievements and the things I have left to complete in order to become a chef. 1. Completed first year of culinary management 2. Attained 2 years of restaurant experience 3. Considering opening catering business Findings: 1. Completed First Year of Culinary Management In completing my first year of culinary management at George Brown College, I have received a great introduction to the business and hands-on skills required to work well and effectively in a kitchen. By the time I graduate from this 2-year program next year, I will have attained the essential skills and experience to work well in the kitchen as a chef. 2. Attained 2 years of Restaurant Experience Before entering college, I have worked in restaurants as a waitress, a host and as kitchen help. With this experience, it will help me to become a well rounded chef by knowing all sides of the restaurant business. As well, through more years of restaurant experience, I will be eligible for a high annual salary. 3. Considering Opening Catering Business In time, I may consider opening a catering business with my experience. By opening this business, it will allow me to be my own boss and to work closer to home most of the time. Conclusion and Recommendations It will take a few more years to gain the experience needed to be successful in the restaurant business. However, with the love for what I do, and the determination, I know in time, all hard work will pay off. 90 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 25. Exemplars Level 3 Short Report Sample 3 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to prepare an investigation report on an aspect of student or campus life. Page 1 Comments Demonstrates some understanding of memo format Contains fact-based content Has format problem in subject line Partly meets established conventions of text type, but needs bullets, proper line spacing, paragraphs in block format Tone is conversational (“I feel”) Contains error in subject-verb agreement Ontario College Writing Exemplars 91
  • 26. Exemplars Page 2 92 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 27. Exemplars Level 3 Short Report Sample 4 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compose an analytical report comparing items for company purchase. Page 1 Comments Is dependent on prompt for fact-based content Opens weakly Displays errors in grammar and word choice Has format problems in conclusion heading; Works Cited format; inappropriate use of bold in font style Uses inconsistent tone (sentence structure and word choice) Is limited in consideration of audience and purpose Ontario College Writing Exemplars 93
  • 28. Exemplars Page 2 94 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 29. Exemplars Page 3 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 95
  • 30. Exemplars Level 3 Short Report Sample 5 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to prepare an analytical report on the results of a survey one has developed and conducted. Page 1 Comments Deals with a generic subject Provides some commentary Conveys authentic informal research Shows thoughtful analysis Uses headings consistently A supporting graph or table would have enhanced reader’s comprehension of material Contains awkward, unclear sentences Needs breakdown of extra-long paragraph 96 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 31. Exemplars Page 2 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 97
  • 32. Exemplars Page 3 98 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 33. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 1 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry based on what one has learned in one’s program courses. Page 1 Comments Demonstrates understanding of memo heading format Lacks headings (a formatting deficiency which prevents this Exemplar from being rated as Level 3) Contains basic fact- based content Contains some colloquial language (“trickier and more of a gamble,” “incredibly”) Controls grammar with simple sentence structure Contains several vague pronoun references Contains some comma errors, including one comma splice Contains an apostrophe error Ontario College Writing Exemplars 99
  • 34. Exemplars Page 2 100 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 35. Exemplars Page 3 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 101
  • 36. Exemplars Page 4 102 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 37. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 2 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry based on what one has learned in one’s program courses. Page 1 Comments Demonstrates limited understanding of memo heading format (lacks meaningful subject line, includes confusing date) Opens like an essay Presents confusing results Lacks graphic representation of results Lacks analysis Lacks the key element of direct relationship between data and conclusion Lacks consideration of audience Is too “I” focused Ontario College Writing Exemplars 103
  • 38. Exemplars Page 2 104 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 39. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 3 ESL Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compose a performance review of an employee, including recommendations for improvement. Page 1 Comments Demonstrates understanding of memo heading format Is organized with headings Uses numbered lists Conveys polite tone Displays ESL writing characteristics: mistakes appear to be second language features, including apostrophe errors, pronoun usage, spellings, some missing articles, plural errors, and verb tense errors Lacks parallelism Ontario College Writing Exemplars 105
  • 40. Exemplars Page 2 106 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 41. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 4 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to investigate two charities and write a short report to the chair of one’s company donations committee evaluating the charities and recommending a selection for donations. Page 1 Comments 10- or 12-point font is required Inappropriate use of capitals Contains run-on sentence Contains too much breakdown Needs clarity in subject line Concludes weakly Relationship between data and analysis of data is disproportionate Needs coherence between recommendation and conclusions Conclusions lack consideration of audience and purpose of task Ontario College Writing Exemplars 107
  • 42. Exemplars Page 2 108 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 43. Exemplars Page 3 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 109
  • 44. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 5 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compose an investigation report on an aspect of student or campus life. Page 1 Comments Confuses title and subject Introduction consists of a narrative of the process used for the investigation Uses passive voice Needs bullets The relevance of the detail is not apparent Needs improved formatting Presentation detracts from genuine research carried out Uses colloquial language inappropriately 110 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 45. Exemplars Page 2 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 111
  • 46. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 6 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compose an investigation report detailing and analyzing results of research conducted on a topic of interest to students or the workforce. Page 1 Comments Opens weakly; purpose is unclear Has problems with format and font Creates confusion with list Grammatical errors are evident: errors with article use Has problems with logical coherence at the end Content is not presented as research Is confusing to reader Little regard for audience needs 112 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 47. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 7 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to prepare a report for one’s instructor analyzing and evaluating a classmate’s oral presentation. Page 1 Comments Uses clear layout and headings Summarizes content to negligible extent Contains only sketchy analysis Displays grammar errors Ontario College Writing Exemplars 113
  • 48. Exemplars Page 2 114 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 49. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 8 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to write a short report for other students comparing two technologies relevant to the film and television industry based on what one has learned in one’s program courses. Page 1 Comments Develops content only minimally Includes definitions, but they are sometimes confusing (samplers and synthesizers are devices, not techniques) Fails to explain some terms (“equalization”, “Casio”) Introduces a new topic (software) in the conclusion Shifts point of view in conclusion Looses control of tone in conclusion Ontario College Writing Exemplars 115
  • 50. Exemplars Page 2 116 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 51. Exemplars Level 2 Short Report Sample 9 ESL Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to compile an analytical report for one’s supervisor proposing upgrades to office computer systems. Page 1 Comments Demonstrates good use of sections including headings and subheadings Sections appear as block Uses memo format, but incorrectly Uses active voice Subject line could be more succinct Demonstrates poor control within paragraphs—too many points included in each Lacks summary, recommendations, conclusions Demonstrates problems with word use Ontario College Writing Exemplars 117
  • 52. Exemplars Page 2 118 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 53. Exemplars Level 1 Short Report Sample 1 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to prepare an analytical report based on the results of the survey one has developed and conducted. Page 1 Comments Highlights graphics at the expense of content Lacks analysis and connections between graphs, text, and conclusion Lacks appropriate headings Contains little development of ideas Has problem with title on page two pie chart Does not adhere to format conventions of text type (headings, subheadings, blocks of text) Violates format convention by signing Contains grammar errors Ontario College Writing Exemplars 119
  • 54. Exemplars Page 2 120 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 55. Exemplars Page 3 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 121
  • 56. Exemplars Page 4 122 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 57. Exemplars Level 1 Short Report Sample 2 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to prepare an analytical report based on the results of the survey one has developed and conducted. Comments Demonstrates strong development of ideas Lacks graphics, headings, and other formatting cues for Short Report text type Contains numerous spelling errors Violates format conventions (lacks sections and graphics) Contains unclear, excessively long sentences Presents research synopsis rather than a full report Ontario College Writing Exemplars 123
  • 58. Exemplars Level 1 Short Report Sample 3 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to write an investigation report for a Performance Arts student explaining issues in obtaining an agent, including qualities agents seek and recommended contacts. Page 1 Comments Assignment is handwritten because produced in class Misunderstands assignment purpose Demonstrates poor analysis of researched materials; no relationship between information and conclusion Content is essentially a list Is unclear about what the sources represent Uses colloquial language 124 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 59. Exemplars Page 2 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 125
  • 60. Exemplars Page 3 126 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 61. Exemplars Transcription To: [Contact’s Name] From: [Student’s Name] Date: March 19th, 2002 Re: Jimmie Dean, graduating student from Theatre Humber Purpose: Jimmie Dean is in the Pursuit in finding an agent. He just recently graduated from the Humber College theatre program. Being a Humber graduate, Jimmie Dean feels that he received the training needed in today’s theatre. Theatre History: Jimmie Dean played in a numerous amount of plays in his graduating year. His credits are as follows: Death of a Salesman (Willie Loman), Glen Gary Glen Ross (Richard Roma), Romeo and Juliet (Mercutio), The Glass Menagerie (Tom Wigfield), The Two Gentlemen of Verona (Proteus, and Criminal Genius (Philly). Sources: CBC Talent Resource Centre, 250 Front St. W. (416) 205-3311 Canadian Actors’ Equity Association, 260 Richmond St. E, (416) 867- 9165 Theatrebooks, 11 St. Thomas St., (416) 922-7175 Theatrebooks sells a book for about $10.00 that lists the phone numbers of Toronto agencies. Conclusion: I’ve known Jimmie Dean for about four years know. I don’t think that there is a actor out there that has the same drive as Jimmie. He is very dedicated to theatre and loves to work. I trust that the resources mentioned would benefit Jimmie. Ontario College Writing Exemplars 127
  • 62. Exemplars Level 1 Short Report Sample 4 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to investigate two charities and write a short report to the chair of one’s company donations committee evaluating the charities and recommending a selection for donations. Page 1 Comments Content attempts a block comparison of two organizations, but lacks parallel information and details (such as statistics for the Canadian Cancer Society, research information for Herbie Fund) Format is confusing to the reader, especially lack of graphics, and unclear and repetitive headings Introduction does not clarify informational or analytical purpose of report Recommendation represents circular logic; ending lacks a direct relationship between data and conclusions and recommendations Lacks an overall consideration of audience and purpose 128 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 63. Exemplars Page 2 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 129
  • 64. Exemplars Level 1 Short Report Sample 5 Task Students were asked to prepare a short report (5 pages or less in length) in memo or letter format on research conducted formally or informally, or on work or study experience. This activity required students to collect, reframe, analyze, and organization information from different sources, and to use standard structural categories. Assignment: to write a job performance review for a senior company officer regarding an employee about whom there have been complaints. Page 1 Comments Report is hand-written because prepared as an in-class assignment Uses headings but lacks formal internal organization to convey meaning adequately Uses inappropriately familiar tone and diction (“I”, “barely anybody”, “such a sweet wom[a]n”) Contains spelling and proofreading errors (“women”, “saddening”) Reflects weak understanding of purpose of report (“I have decided upon those recommendations”) Headings and content lack logical order (recommendations precede findings) 130 Ontario College Writing Exemplars
  • 65. Exemplars Page 2 Ontario College Writing Exemplars 131
  • 66. Exemplars Page 3 132 Ontario College Writing Exemplars