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Santa 
Brand Book 
1 AD 2010 
*S anta* is a Concept, not an idea. It’s an 
Emotion, not a feeling. It’s both Yesterday 
and Today. And it’s Tomorrow as well. 
*S anta* winds infinite Possibilities around 
finite Limitations to evoke the essence 
of invention and the Odour of Nostalgia. 
It has the complexity of Simpleness and 
the Simplicity of complexitiveness. It begins 
with the Hiss of Power and ends with the 
Ah of Surprise. *Santa* is. 
* Santa*, Santa Claus and the pot-bellied logo are registered trademarks 
of santaclaus global enterprises incorporated ®©
This page has been left blank for your imagination
Santa 001 
Brand Book 
How to live the brand 
Meet it 
Greet it 
Eat it 
Distribution of this Brand Book is strictly 
controlled and limited to authorised 
*Santa* franchisees and partners. 
Our lawyers know where you live.
Santa 
Brand Book 
002 
Our brand journey 
Our brand journey is the Key that unlocks our History, and the Bolt 
that secures our Future Understanding of where we are going and 
what we will do when we arrive at that place that we’ve gone to. 
We began our brand sleigh-ride with an Imagination Shower 
Away-day Team Event in Stornaway. There, we looked at what 
*Santa* might be if it weren’t a fat man in a red suit. We projected 
that if *Santa* were a bird, it would be a stork. If it were a river, 
it would be the Danube. If it were a biscuit, it would be a Hobnob. 
If it were a holiday, it would be Easter. 
The key learning from this was that *Santa* IS brand. PARTLY literally 
and TOTALLY metaphorically. 
Did you know: 
* Santa* is striving to become a carbon-neutral 
corporation by 2056?
Santa 
Brand Book 
003 
Why *Santa*? 
* – the introductory asterisk reminds customers of a snowflake 
alighting on the eyelash of a fawn. 
SAN – the first three letters represent South and North. We are 
headquartered in the North, but our reach is global. 
N – the N also symbolises nitrogen, the most abundant atmospheric 
element, calling to mind the abundance of gifts we distribute. 
TA – the final two letters are the (abbreviated) thanks of the world’s 
children. Note: TA can also stand for Territorial Army. 
This should not be referenced in our communications. 
* – the terminating asterisk points customers to the polar star, and 
hence the birth of dreams. 
‘Santa’ backwards is atnas, which is Lithuanian for chimney.
Santa 
Brand Book 
004 
Our brand promise 
excellence 
measurability 
accountability 
snow 
X 
MAS 
The letters x, m, a and s in both case 
forms are the intellectual property 
of santaclaus global enterprises 
incorporated ©®. Permission must 
be sought for their use in any media, 
and it is never given.
Santa 
Brand Book 
005 
Our brand essence 
Our brand essence is the very essence of our brand. A brand is 
like a sack on a sleigh of belief. At the emotional heart of our brand 
sack is profit. Profit is foundationed in deceit, which is emulsified 
in tricks. Tricks are quasi-authenticated through illusion, and further 
end-gamed via magic. Enveloping this magic is the belief of our 
customers. The sack then hangs within a metaspace of gullibility. 
profit 
deceit 
tricks 
illusion 
magic 
belief 
gullibility 
What our customers say about us 
“ Thank you for your assistance with what 
turned out to be a splendid Christmas 
this year. Some of the presents 
I got were extremely satisfactory.” 
Freddy Haycock, age 7, Caerphilly
Santa 
Brand Book 
006 
Elvis 
The Fat Controller 
Robin Hood 
Our brand assets 
Who else is occupying 
*Santa*’s space? 
The greatest assets of any brand 
are its brand assets. Our critical 
asset duopoly is Volume of Beard 
(beardiness) fused with Extent 
of Fat (fatiness). 
This schematic geographilises 
us and our key competitors on 
the fatiness/beardiness spectrum. 
Fatiness 
Beardiness 
Max 
Santa 
Hagrid 
Entering our 
reputational space 
– monitor him 
Max 
Anne Widdecombe Henry VIII 
1976 
1956 
Michael Moore 
Brian Blessed 
Grizzly Adams 
Che Guevera W G Grace 
Postman Pat Noel Edmonds 
Kylie 
Kevin Costner Erol Flynn 
ZZ top
Santa 
Brand Book 
007 
Our brand assets 
Moses 
The 
Laughing 
Policeman 
Tommy 
Cooper 
Magic 
*Santa* 
Jollyness Justice 
Ho 
Ho Ho Ho Ho 
Ho Ho Ho 
Ho Ho 
Ho Ho 
Alex 
Ferguson 
The 
A-Team 
Reliable 
Rudolph 
Outcast Red nose 
That tramp by 
the station 
Mandatory Venn diagrams
Santa 
Brand Book 
008 
Our brand language 
1. Use approved vocabulary 
The words we use must always be convivial, festivious and jollificatory. 
* Santa* is not 
A bit creepy 
A complete mug 
Morbidly obese 
Half cut 
*Santa* is 
Fond of children 
Generous 
Round and jolly 
Red faced 
2. Avoid familiarity 
Don’t use the over-familiar and paternalistic ‘Father Christmas’. 
If only because it anagrams to ‘the rich Mr Fat-Ass’. 
3. Use this year’s legend 
Following our original ‘Chimneyz Meanz Giftz’ and the popular 
‘I Bet He Drinks Sherry’, our slogan for all channels going forward 
is ‘Never Knowingly Undersnowed’.
Santa 
Brand Book 
009 
Our brand language 
4. Always communicate on-brand 
Deploy brand language to build the *Santa*:Customer relationship. 
This real-life example shows simple mistakes, and how to correct them. 
Dear cust ref: 
48f56kc7856//b 
Due to an oversight by one of 
our contractors, your request 
for [insert name of item] has 
been mis-sleighed. Please 
find below tree/at end of bed 
a present to similar value. 
Ho ho ho 
Santa Claus®™ 
Dear Andy 
I’m really sorry, but Rudolph 
tells me that the X-Box you 
asked for isn’t on the sleigh. 
I hope you enjoy this 
skateboard that I’ve chosen 
for you instead. 
Love 
Santa 
Don’t be over-familiar 
This is more 
professional 
Good, everyday 
words 
Good, this is 
more specific 
Clear instruction 
for customer 
Good – reflects 
customer’s concern 
Good - reinforcing 
brand here 
Don’t use jargon 
Be specific – what 
exactly happened? 
Talk from customer’s 
perspective 
Talk about the 
customer, not us 
Use brand 
message instead
Santa 
Brand Book 
010 
Our brand imagery 
Colour 
Our primary brand colour is red. White is our secondary brand colour. 
There is no tertiary colour. 
We chose red because it connects to blood, which signifies family, 
and communism, which alludes to sharing. 
Pantone reference chart— 
Too naïve 
Too deep 
Too ironic 
Too crisp 
Red 032C 
Believable 
White 000C 
Even 
Our font is— 
santa serif and 
santa serif bold.
Santa 
Brand Book 
011 
Our brand imagery 
Correct use of iconography 
There are very strict guidleines for imagery orientation. 
Always check − twice. 
What our customers say about us 
“ I have always been satisfied by the 
consistently high level of seasonal magic 
you have demonstrated. Many Thanks.” 
Olivia Johnson, age 5, Leicester. 
1 2 3 4
Santa 
Brand Book 
012 
Curve of credulity 
Customers’ belief in *Santa* correlates directly to their 
chronological status. This graph places our brand against 
key competitors in the belief vortex. 
Did You Know: 
*Santa* is the industry 
standard for child-centric 
gift-delivery solutions? 
Customer 
retention 
opportunity 
Age of customer Level of belief 
Santa 
God 
Socialism 
100% Spiritual crisis 
Ethical crisis 
Mid-life crisis 
0% 0 10 
20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100
Santa 013 
Brand Book 
Brand decision tree 
We operate in a crowded market place. So it’s crucial to build the 
customer relationship at every touch point. Always ask yourelf, 
at all times, should I use the Santa Brand? 
by letter 
e-channels 
seasonal films 
Use the 
Santa 
Brand 
in-store franchise 
school fair/party 
guest brand in TV ad 
impromptu Dec 24 sighting 
customer satisfaction survey 
Always 
use the 
brand 
Use the 
Santa 
Brand 
Use the 
Santa 
Brand 
Use the 
Santa 
Brand 
Use the 
Santa 
Brand 
Use the 
Santa 
Brand 
Use the 
Santa 
Brand 
Use the 
Santa 
Brand 
?How am I touching the customer
Santa 
Brand Book 
014 
Have a really great Christmas 
and a fantastic 2011 
Express HerS Elf 
Kate 
Chief Operating Elf 
Mark 
Chief Creative Elf 
Vince 
Chief Knowledge Elf 
Rhys 
Chief Wealth Elf 
Jochem 
Commercial Elf 
Andy 
Chief Top Sh Elf 
Simon 
BehaviourS Elf 
Jane 
Inter National Elf 
Anthony 
Deputy Learning Elf 
Joe 
Do you know someone who should be 
jumping through these kind of brand hoops? 
Download a copy of the Santa Brand Book from our website 
and email it to them. 
www.quietroom.co.uk

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Santa brandbook

  • 1. Santa Brand Book 1 AD 2010 *S anta* is a Concept, not an idea. It’s an Emotion, not a feeling. It’s both Yesterday and Today. And it’s Tomorrow as well. *S anta* winds infinite Possibilities around finite Limitations to evoke the essence of invention and the Odour of Nostalgia. It has the complexity of Simpleness and the Simplicity of complexitiveness. It begins with the Hiss of Power and ends with the Ah of Surprise. *Santa* is. * Santa*, Santa Claus and the pot-bellied logo are registered trademarks of santaclaus global enterprises incorporated ®©
  • 2. This page has been left blank for your imagination
  • 3. Santa 001 Brand Book How to live the brand Meet it Greet it Eat it Distribution of this Brand Book is strictly controlled and limited to authorised *Santa* franchisees and partners. Our lawyers know where you live.
  • 4. Santa Brand Book 002 Our brand journey Our brand journey is the Key that unlocks our History, and the Bolt that secures our Future Understanding of where we are going and what we will do when we arrive at that place that we’ve gone to. We began our brand sleigh-ride with an Imagination Shower Away-day Team Event in Stornaway. There, we looked at what *Santa* might be if it weren’t a fat man in a red suit. We projected that if *Santa* were a bird, it would be a stork. If it were a river, it would be the Danube. If it were a biscuit, it would be a Hobnob. If it were a holiday, it would be Easter. The key learning from this was that *Santa* IS brand. PARTLY literally and TOTALLY metaphorically. Did you know: * Santa* is striving to become a carbon-neutral corporation by 2056?
  • 5. Santa Brand Book 003 Why *Santa*? * – the introductory asterisk reminds customers of a snowflake alighting on the eyelash of a fawn. SAN – the first three letters represent South and North. We are headquartered in the North, but our reach is global. N – the N also symbolises nitrogen, the most abundant atmospheric element, calling to mind the abundance of gifts we distribute. TA – the final two letters are the (abbreviated) thanks of the world’s children. Note: TA can also stand for Territorial Army. This should not be referenced in our communications. * – the terminating asterisk points customers to the polar star, and hence the birth of dreams. ‘Santa’ backwards is atnas, which is Lithuanian for chimney.
  • 6. Santa Brand Book 004 Our brand promise excellence measurability accountability snow X MAS The letters x, m, a and s in both case forms are the intellectual property of santaclaus global enterprises incorporated ©®. Permission must be sought for their use in any media, and it is never given.
  • 7. Santa Brand Book 005 Our brand essence Our brand essence is the very essence of our brand. A brand is like a sack on a sleigh of belief. At the emotional heart of our brand sack is profit. Profit is foundationed in deceit, which is emulsified in tricks. Tricks are quasi-authenticated through illusion, and further end-gamed via magic. Enveloping this magic is the belief of our customers. The sack then hangs within a metaspace of gullibility. profit deceit tricks illusion magic belief gullibility What our customers say about us “ Thank you for your assistance with what turned out to be a splendid Christmas this year. Some of the presents I got were extremely satisfactory.” Freddy Haycock, age 7, Caerphilly
  • 8. Santa Brand Book 006 Elvis The Fat Controller Robin Hood Our brand assets Who else is occupying *Santa*’s space? The greatest assets of any brand are its brand assets. Our critical asset duopoly is Volume of Beard (beardiness) fused with Extent of Fat (fatiness). This schematic geographilises us and our key competitors on the fatiness/beardiness spectrum. Fatiness Beardiness Max Santa Hagrid Entering our reputational space – monitor him Max Anne Widdecombe Henry VIII 1976 1956 Michael Moore Brian Blessed Grizzly Adams Che Guevera W G Grace Postman Pat Noel Edmonds Kylie Kevin Costner Erol Flynn ZZ top
  • 9. Santa Brand Book 007 Our brand assets Moses The Laughing Policeman Tommy Cooper Magic *Santa* Jollyness Justice Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Alex Ferguson The A-Team Reliable Rudolph Outcast Red nose That tramp by the station Mandatory Venn diagrams
  • 10. Santa Brand Book 008 Our brand language 1. Use approved vocabulary The words we use must always be convivial, festivious and jollificatory. * Santa* is not A bit creepy A complete mug Morbidly obese Half cut *Santa* is Fond of children Generous Round and jolly Red faced 2. Avoid familiarity Don’t use the over-familiar and paternalistic ‘Father Christmas’. If only because it anagrams to ‘the rich Mr Fat-Ass’. 3. Use this year’s legend Following our original ‘Chimneyz Meanz Giftz’ and the popular ‘I Bet He Drinks Sherry’, our slogan for all channels going forward is ‘Never Knowingly Undersnowed’.
  • 11. Santa Brand Book 009 Our brand language 4. Always communicate on-brand Deploy brand language to build the *Santa*:Customer relationship. This real-life example shows simple mistakes, and how to correct them. Dear cust ref: 48f56kc7856//b Due to an oversight by one of our contractors, your request for [insert name of item] has been mis-sleighed. Please find below tree/at end of bed a present to similar value. Ho ho ho Santa Claus®™ Dear Andy I’m really sorry, but Rudolph tells me that the X-Box you asked for isn’t on the sleigh. I hope you enjoy this skateboard that I’ve chosen for you instead. Love Santa Don’t be over-familiar This is more professional Good, everyday words Good, this is more specific Clear instruction for customer Good – reflects customer’s concern Good - reinforcing brand here Don’t use jargon Be specific – what exactly happened? Talk from customer’s perspective Talk about the customer, not us Use brand message instead
  • 12. Santa Brand Book 010 Our brand imagery Colour Our primary brand colour is red. White is our secondary brand colour. There is no tertiary colour. We chose red because it connects to blood, which signifies family, and communism, which alludes to sharing. Pantone reference chart— Too naïve Too deep Too ironic Too crisp Red 032C Believable White 000C Even Our font is— santa serif and santa serif bold.
  • 13. Santa Brand Book 011 Our brand imagery Correct use of iconography There are very strict guidleines for imagery orientation. Always check − twice. What our customers say about us “ I have always been satisfied by the consistently high level of seasonal magic you have demonstrated. Many Thanks.” Olivia Johnson, age 5, Leicester. 1 2 3 4
  • 14. Santa Brand Book 012 Curve of credulity Customers’ belief in *Santa* correlates directly to their chronological status. This graph places our brand against key competitors in the belief vortex. Did You Know: *Santa* is the industry standard for child-centric gift-delivery solutions? Customer retention opportunity Age of customer Level of belief Santa God Socialism 100% Spiritual crisis Ethical crisis Mid-life crisis 0% 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100
  • 15. Santa 013 Brand Book Brand decision tree We operate in a crowded market place. So it’s crucial to build the customer relationship at every touch point. Always ask yourelf, at all times, should I use the Santa Brand? by letter e-channels seasonal films Use the Santa Brand in-store franchise school fair/party guest brand in TV ad impromptu Dec 24 sighting customer satisfaction survey Always use the brand Use the Santa Brand Use the Santa Brand Use the Santa Brand Use the Santa Brand Use the Santa Brand Use the Santa Brand Use the Santa Brand ?How am I touching the customer
  • 16. Santa Brand Book 014 Have a really great Christmas and a fantastic 2011 Express HerS Elf Kate Chief Operating Elf Mark Chief Creative Elf Vince Chief Knowledge Elf Rhys Chief Wealth Elf Jochem Commercial Elf Andy Chief Top Sh Elf Simon BehaviourS Elf Jane Inter National Elf Anthony Deputy Learning Elf Joe Do you know someone who should be jumping through these kind of brand hoops? Download a copy of the Santa Brand Book from our website and email it to them. www.quietroom.co.uk