The document discusses perspectives on pornography in relationships. It acknowledges that while some strongly oppose pornography, it can be positive if viewed openly and consensually between committed partners. However, pornography damages relationships if one partner views it secretly or against the other's wishes. Overall, the key is that both partners find pornography exciting and beneficial; it cannot negatively impact intimacy or violate the boundaries either person sets. The document also notes religious perspectives that consider pornography always wrong based on teachings of sexual purity and fidelity in Christianity.

1. Rogerian Analysis

3. Life is
about
Compromise

4. Rogerian = You Win and I Win
Rather than traditional argument, Rogerian argument establishes
common ground through shared values and assumptions.
Common ground is established by summarizing and restating the
opponent’s position.

5. Purpose
The Rogerian argument is designed to bring together two
opposing views and show where/how they reach common
ground.
Once common ground is established, decisions can be made that
all parties can agree to.

6. Carl Rogers (1902-1987)
Believed in nondirective or client-centered therapy in
psychology and clinical therapy situations.
Rogerian viewpoints believes “that the most personal feelings
are also the most common and most likely to be understood by
others” (Mauk and Metz 537).

7. Rogers’ Theory
Rogers wrote “Mutual communication tends to be pointed
toward solving a problem rather than toward attacking a person
or group” (qtd. in Barnet and Bedau 455).

8. Uses for Rogerian
Sensitive topics
Abortion
Gun Control

9. Death Penalty
Stem Cell Research/Cloning
Business meetings
Conflict negotiations
Anytime two or more views are in conflict

10. Emphasis
Great for psychological and emotional arguments
Pathos and ethos emphasized more than logos and strict logic

11. Disadvantages of Rogerian
You have to be willing to try reaching common ground
Seems like you are giving ground to your opponent.
Writer must be willing to change personal views – a risk to
many people.

12. Advantages to Rogerian
Release tension and disagreement
Encourage negotiation and cooperation
Controls uneven power relationships
According to Barnett and Bedau, Rogerian argument is
Nonconfrontational, collegial, and friendly
Seeks some degree of assent rather than convince utterly.

13. Rogerian Strategy
Conveys to the reader that he is understood
Delineates the area within which he believes the reader's
position to be valid
Induces him to believe that he and the writer share certain moral
qualities (Writing Commons)

14. The Process
Introduction
Introduce the issue and state the opposing position in order to
show that you understand it.
Present the problem
Challenge yourself to risk change
Elaborate on the value of opposing positions

15. Where and under what circumstances is the opposing view
valid?

16. The Process Cont’d.
Describe the context in which your position is valid.
Show how the opposing position would be strengthened if
elements from your position were added.
Arrive at an agreeable compromise or reconciliation.

17. Rogerian Essay
Continue using the issue you started with the Classical
Follow APA or MLA format per your instructor
Essay should be a minimum of 1,200-1,500 words PLUS Works
Cited
A minimum of five sources are required

18. Getting Started
Prewrite by creating a summary of the opposing position – the
author’s.
If you can summarize the opposing position, you exhibit your
understanding of the stance.
Create a brief summary of your position.
Before you can find a compromise, you must be sure you
understand both positions – clearly.

19. Write
State the opposing position as presented in the article chosen.
Describe when the position might work or be accepted.
Imagine the article’s author is a member of your audience.
Show that you “heard” the author
Write a clear transition to your position.
State how your position would work or be acceptable.
Try to reconcile the two positions.

20. Documentation
You MUST include a Works Cited/References page per MLA or
APA rules
You must properly cite in your essay
Remember, sloppy documentation is plagiarism.

22. ENGL 112 Rogerian Argument Paper Instructions
Carl Rogers as an influential American psychologist. During
his years as a psychologist, Rogers believed compromise was a
key component of effective argument.
Topic: Using the topic selected and approved for the Topic
Proposal, write a Rogeian Argument about your issue.
Do not select topics from the following list unless you have
permission from your instructor. These topics fall into the
following categories: too broad (you will not write a book for
this class), the topic is too current making reliable sources
difficult to obtain, or the instructor has seen the issues too many
times to read another paper on the issue.
Abortion
Capital Punishment
Censorship
Cell phone use while driving
Child Abuse
Eating disorders
Euthanasia
Evolution
Gun Control
Legalizing Marijuana
Smoking
Stem Cell Research
Objective: Once you have an issue, you will need to use
effective reasoning and specific information to make your
position convincing.
Review the argumentative techniques studied. Your objective is
reconcile two positions allowing both positions to “win” the
argument. You will need to make clear for the reader your
reasons for the position you hold. Before finding a compromise,
it is important to show how both views are valid. You will also
need to show how each view could be strengthened by adding

23. something from the other view.
Focus: The focus is on one position or perspective—your—but
you should clearly show the compromise being made. Do not
use first person “I” or second person “you/your.”
Audience: The audience is appropriately identified stakeholders
interested in and affected by the issue.
Organization and Development: Make sure the controlling ideas
presented in the paper are yours and that all sources are clearly
cited in the text of your essay. Include a Works
Cited/Reference page and proper in-text citations for the
documentation style per your instructor’s requirements.
The Rogerian Argument Purpose: Help people with differing
opinions understand each other’s views and reduce conflict. The
key is to acknowledge the discord between the two sides of an
issue and reach common ground. It is useful in psychological
and emotional arguments where pathos (values & beliefs) and
ethos (credibility) are predominant.
1. Introduction:
a. State the problem to be resolved giving opposing views - be
objective, neutral, and accurate.
b. State the issue as a question
2. Body:
a. Examine key points that support one side of the issue.
Acknowledge these differing viewpoints have merit within
particular contexts. Educate the reader and verify that you, as
the arguer, understand the opposing view correctly. (cite
supporting evidence)

24. b. Examine the points that support an alternative (opposing)
position. This is the meat of the paper. Explain the key evidence
which supports the reasons you have for choosing your stance,
while maintaining neutrality.
c. Find common ground. Achieve dialogue during the process of
discovery to establish trust. The result is change for both sides.
This step is essential for the success of the Rogerian method.
3. Conclusion:
a. Present a fair and concise summary of the strongest points of
both sides of the argument. Craft a resolution that takes the best
from both sides and offers conformity. The solution should
satisfy all parties.
4. Works Cited/References page with a minimum of five
sources.
Length and Format: 1,200-1,500 words, plus Works Cited or
Reference page following MLA or APA formatting guidelines
both in the text and in the Works Cited or Reference page per
your instructor’s guidelines.
Coherence: Show the connections between the evidence
presented and your claim.
Due dates: See the calendar for due dates.
Grading: Review the grade rubric to see how the instructor will
grade your essay.
Borden 1
-
-
ENGL 112-20

25. Final Position Paper
Pornography in Relationships
Most people have an immediate response to the word
PORNOGRAPHY. Some are disgusted or embarrassed, while
others are ambivalent, curious, or even sexually aroused.
Pornography usually elicits a strong response when people are
asked about this controversial subject. Since it affects people
of all age, gender, class, and position in American society, there
are few who do not have an opinion on the subject. While some
pastors and experts completely oppose pornography in every
situation, others think it is harmless for all or think it has its
place in committed relationships. There will always be those
that strongly oppose pornography, however kept in the right
context and shared in an open and honest relationship,
pornography can be a positive aspect of a relationship and an
enhancement to sexual intimacy.
While pornography can be damaging to a relationship if
not kept in the right context, it can be a fun and exciting aspect
of a relationship when dealt with in an open and honest way. I
have been happily married for twenty years and my husband and
I have a deep respect for one another and still enjoy a fulfilling
intimate relationship. As a couple, we enjoy watching
pornography together on occasion. We have openly discussed
the issue, respect each other’s opinions, and only view
pornography together. We have found it to be a positive aspect
of our intimate relationship and have not had any negative
experiences because of it. This is only possible because we
both agree that watching pornography is acceptable, have
agreed on what types of pornography to watch, respect the
boundaries we have set, and continue to communicate with each
other on an ongoing basis. Not only have I seen this to be true
in my own marriage, but in an interview with Jeff Reynolds and
Carla Reynolds both expressed the mutual enjoyment and sexual
fulfillment they get from viewing pornography together. They
feel that this is right for their marriage because they agree on
the issue. If at any time either of them becomes uncomfortable

26. with pornography, they would stop watching it all together.
They believe that the solidarity of their views is what makes
pornography a positive aspect of their relationship rather than a
negative one (Reynolds and Reynolds).
Some experts agree that couples watching pornography
together can be good for their relationships. Stacey Nelkin is
an actress and the co-author of You Can’t Afford to Break Up:
How an Empty Wallet and a Dirty Mind Can Save Your
Relationship. She is a relationship and parenting expert and
blogs for the website The Daily Affair. In an article titled, “5
Reasons Why Watching Porn Together Can Be Good For Your
Relationship” Nelkin addresses the myth that pornography is
destructive to relationships. She states that instead of women
being threatened by their partner’s preference for porn, they
should share in the experience with him, creating a sexual
connection and mutually fulfilling experience. Nelkin provides
five reasons why she believes pornography can actually be a
positive aspect of a relationship. The first reason is that it
creates a shared experience, which is an investment in the long
term intimacy of the relationship. The second reason is that
pornography allows partners to more openly express their secret
fantasies. Some people might be more reserved about bringing
up a sexual fantasy with their partner, but would be able to
express these fantasies through the pornography they choose or
the open sexual communication that pornography creates. Also,
pornography can introduce partners to new experiences that they
did not even realize was a fantasy, but is discovered together
through porn. Nelkin’s third reason for pornography being a
good thing is that it gets each partner excited faster and is part
of foreplay. In this busy world where everyone is rushing from
one commitment to another, partners might need to expedite
their intimate moments. Porn helps get things moving quicker
and allows couples to enjoy each other in the few stolen
moments they have together. The fourth positive aspect of
pornography is that it helps people be comfortable with the fact
that their partner can be attracted to another person without it

27. threatening the relationship. It is ok to become aroused by
another person and can even strengthen the relationship when
partners share in the external arousal experience. Nelkin’s final
reason for pornography being good for relationships is that it
may actually lessen the possibility of one partner acting out on
sexual desires in the form of adultery. If all the sexual needs
and fantasies are fulfilled with the committed partner then there
is no need to look elsewhere for sexual fulfillment and
excitement (Nelkin).
Choosing to view pornography together can build strong bonds
and help partners enjoy a long, satisfying, and healthy sexual
relationship. The key to whether pornography is a positive or
negative force in a relationship is that both partners find it
exciting, enjoyable, and beneficial. This means that not only
does the man have to enjoy pornography, but the woman as
well.
Most people are not surprised to hear a man state that he
enjoys watching pornography, but that is not the case for the
perception toward women viewing it. In general, men watch
pornography more than women and are more open about the
subject. Because of the social stereotypes, women are less
likely to be as open about their views on the subject. However,
there are many women who have a positive attitude toward porn
and believe that watching pornography is a mutually enjoyable
activity that actually increases rather than decreases intimacy.
In an article from the United Kingdom’s Daily Mail, author
Katy Winter cites a survey conducted in 2013. The survey
revealed that ninety-six percent of women have watched
pornography with a partner and over half watch it on their own.
Fifty-five percent of those surveyed said they view pornography
on a monthly basis, with forty percent of those women viewing
it weekly and nine percent viewing it daily. Fifty-eight percent
of the women surveyed claimed pornography had a positive
effect on their sexual relationship and twenty-three percent said
it brought them closer together with their partner. Winter
states, “While the new generations sexually liberated women are

28. embracing porn as part of their own sexuality, they are also
more open to sharing it with their partner.” Even though
pornography still seems to be a taboo subject for women, this
survey suggests that even though it is not discussed as openly as
with men, women are enjoying pornography and are seeing
positive results in their relationships.
Viewing pornography together when both partners enjoy
the experience can be a positive aspect of a relationship,
however it can only be positive if the decision is consensual.
When either partner is not comfortable with pornography or is
against pornography, it should be off limits in the relationship.
When one person chooses to view pornography against the
wishes of their partner or views it in secret, then it becomes a
destructive force in a relationship. This not only destroys the
trust in a relationship but it also drives a wedge between the
couple sexually. One partner is receiving pleasure absent the
other, and each feels closed off from the other. In an interview
with Phillip Cuilty, he discussed how pornography affected his
marriage and what his past and present views were on the
subject. Cuilty was married for ten years, but the marriage
ended in divorce. During the marriage he asked his wife to
view pornography with him on several occasions. Cuilty’s wife
was disgusted by pornography and refused to view it and told
him she did not want him viewing it either. At that time Cuilty
did not see anything wrong with pornography and thought his
wife was being unreasonable. He began watching pornography
behind his wife’s back and continued undetected for several
years. When his wife discovered what he had been doing she
felt betrayed and hurt. She asked him repeatedly to stop, but
Cuilty continued viewing pornography thinking he could
somehow keep it from his wife. Eventually, after repeated
unsuccessful attempts to get Cuilty to stop, his wife divorced
him. He said, at the time, he thought the pornography was
harmless, but now realizes that it destroyed his marriage. He
did not realize until it was too late how much it hurt his wife
and how bad it made her feel. Cuilty sought counseling from

29. his pastor and has since rejected all forms of pornography. He
realizes now what a destructive vice pornography really was
because it was not something he and his wife shared together
(Cuilty).
While some believe that pornography’s effect on a relationship
depends on how both partners feel about porn, there are those
that believe pornography is always wrong in a relationship
regardless of how each partner feels about the subject. A great
deal of the opposition to pornography comes from the Christian
community. Some pastors believe pornography poses a great
threat to the moral fabric of this country and that it is ripping
apart homes and families. Many Christian leaders are making it
their mission to combat this problem and lead people away from
the morally corrupt pornographic industry.
Christianity teaches that pornography goes against the Bible’s
teachings about sexual purity, and is therefore morally wrong
and harmful to marriages. In Hebrews it states, “Let marriage
be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be
undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and
adulterous” (The MacArthur Study Bible, Heb. 13.4). It is clear
that the Christian faith teaches that sexually immoral and
adulterous behavior is wrong, but what is considered adulterous
behavior? Adultery is defined by Jesus when He states, “But I
say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful
intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart”
(Mat. 5.28). Based on these scriptures, looking at a woman
with lust, even if on the television or the Internet, is committing
adultery and a morally wrong thing to do. It is not just the
married people that the Bible addresses. Everyone is called to
be sexually pure. “For this is the will of God, your
sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that
each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness
and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do
not know God” (1 The. 4:3-5). God calls on everyone to be
sexually pure and having sexual relations with someone other
than a spouse is considered impure. “If a man seduces a virgin

30. who he is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the
bride-price for her and make her his wife” (Exo. 22:16). Since
the Bible considers sex with someone other than a spouse to be
wrong, and in Matthew it is taught that looking lustfully at a
woman is the same as actually having sex, then viewing
pornography, whether a person is married or single, is immoral
and wrong according to the Christian faith.
Pastors, based on the teachings of the Bible, believe that
pornography is morally wrong, is committing adultery, and is
destroying the family. While I respect the Christian faith and
the teachings of the Bible, I disagree with the interpretation of
the Bible concerning what constitutes adultery. If a man and
woman view the pornographic material together, in an open and
honest way, it can be an enriching aspect of sexual intimacy and
not adultery. Obviously, if one partner views the pornography
without the knowledge or consent of the other then I would
agree that constitutes adultery and is morally wrong.
Not all opposition to pornography is faith based. Secular
experts on the subject cite several reasons why they believe
pornography is destructive. In a journal article titled “The
Impact of Internet Pornography on Marriage and the Family,”
author Jill Manning states that pornography can have a negative
effect on how men view and treat women. It can cause
callousness toward women, trivialize rape as a criminal offense,
distort the man’s perception about sexuality, increase his desire
for more deviant types of pornography, and devalue the idea of
monogamy, marriage, and children. Research has shown that
men who view pornography on a regular basis tend to be less
satisfied with their partner’s sexual performance, physical
appearance, level of affection, and willingness to be
adventurous and try new things. Manning also states that men
who view pornography tend to see women as a sexual object,
there to fulfill their fantasies rather than seeing them as a
loving partner who has needs of her own. Women feel used,
devalued, and unfulfilled in their own sexual needs because the
men are not focusing on them, but using them as a “warm body”

31. to be a stand-in for the porn actress. Overall, the effects of
pornography on the man/woman relationship seem to be
negative. However, Manning does acknowledge that while
these finding are disturbing and shed light on how destructive
pornography can be, they may not be relevant when the
pornography is viewed in a mutual, consensual, and open
manner by a couple. While pornography can be detrimental
when men view it on their own, it can actually be an enriching
aspect of a couple’s sexual relationship when it is enjoyed
together (Manning). By sharing in the sexual experience and
being active participants in fulfilling each other’s fantasies,
couples can avoid the negative effects of pornography and enjoy
building a sexual bond based on mutual respect and sexual
fulfillment.
The impact on relationships is only one aspect of
pornography and there are many other areas that could be
looked at. My discussion is limited to how pornography affects
couples and whether it is a positive or negative aspect of
relationships. There are other aspects of pornography that I did
not discuss, such as the effects of it on teens, the increasing
availability due to technology, or the differences between soft
core, regular, and hard core pornography. I also did not discuss
the subject from the viewpoint of those making the pornography
or the dangers and negative aspects of the industry.
Pornography is controversial for many reasons and it
involves a topic that few people are comfortable discussing.
But human beings are sexual creatures and it is natural to
explore that aspect of our lives. When a couple decides to look
outside of their own sexual relationship for pleasure, this causes
many to question the morality and validity of that decision.
Most Christian leaders oppose pornography based on the
teachings of the Bible on sexual purity. Some secular experts
see pornography as the cause for men devaluing woman and
woman feeling used and unfulfilled. While I see the validity of
both viewpoints and agree with both on some levels, I do not
believe that pornography is always a negative aspect in a

32. relationship. I agree with the faith based argument that it is
adultery, but only if it is done in secret and against the wishes
of one of the partners. If it is a consensual and mutual decision,
then it is not adultery. I also agree with the secular view that
pornography contributes to the devaluing of woman. However,
this is only if the man is viewing the pornography on his own,
and not the case when both partners are enjoying the
pornography together as a mutually fulfilling aspect of their
sexual relationship. It would be inaccurate to make a blanket
statement that pornography is either a negative or positive
aspect in all relationships. For some couples pornography is
destructive, especially if either partner is not comfortable with
the situation or if one partner secretly view the pornography.
For other couples, pornography can be a positive, shared
experience that benefits both partners. Viewing pornography
should be an enhancement to a sexual relationship and used to
explore fantasies and create sexual intimacy. Whether
pornography is positive or negative depends on each individual
couple. The key to success in any relationship is
communication. The subject of pornography should be explored
in an open and honest way, with each partner’s views being
considered and respected. As long as both partners are in
agreement, whichever decision is made is the right decision.
Works Cited
Cuilty, Phillip. Personal Interview. 14 Sep. 2013.
Manning, Jill C. "The Impact of Internet Pornography on
Marriage and the Family: A Review of the Research." Sexual
Addiction & Compulsivity 13.2/3 (2006): 131-165. Academic
Search Premier. Web. 12 Sep. 2013.
Nelkin, Stacey. “5 Reasons Why Watching Porn Together Can
Be Good For Your Relationship.” Huff Post Weddings. The
Huffington Post, 7 Mar. 2013. Web. 18 Nov. 2013.
Reynolds, Jeff, and Carla Reynolds. Personal Interview. 12 Sep.
2013.
The MacArthur Study Bible. Eng. Standard Vers. John

33. MacArthur, gen. ed. Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2010. Print.
Winter, Katy. “It’s Not Just Men Who Watch Porn!” Mail
Online [London]. Associated Newspapers, 15 Nov. 2013. Web.
18 Nov. 2013.