Not everyone wants or needs a warm, supportive manager, and not everyone wants or needs the tough, task-focused boss. I’ve come to realize that my usual style of mentoring and motivating people on my teams does not work for everyone, much to my dismay. There are many shades of leadership in between, and knowing what each team member needs means discovering the answers to deeper questions about what makes them who they are.
You’ll need to uncover what inspires and motivates each individual team member, while also understanding how they’ll respond to ambiguity or sudden change. You’ll also need to do this while handling your day job and while also keeping them–and yourself–from burning out. We’ll discuss some approaches to tackling most of this and share tips on empathy and emotional resonance that can help you build stronger and more genuine ties to your team in order to set them all up for their best success.
11. @amymarquez #PPPConf
I failed
Brilliant IA
Expert knowledge of the enterprise flywheels
Solid work on complex systems
Can see trouble coming around the corner
12. @amymarquez #PPPConf
I failed
Brilliant IA
Expert knowledge of the enterprise flywheels
Solid work on complex systems
Can see trouble coming around the corner
Risk-averse…
Does not work well with ambiguity…
Self-doubt…
14. @amymarquez #PPPConf
I failed
Problems were squishy
Mission was to push boundaries
Often had to define the problems
Worked with a lot of new technology
Did not set her up for success
Did not make her feel safe
15. @amymarquez #PPPConf
I failed
Problems were squishy
Mission was to push boundaries
Often had to define the problems
Worked with a lot of new technology
Did not set her up for success
Did not make her feel safe
24. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Know yourself
Big 5 Personality Traits
Openness
Conscientousness
Extroversion
Agreeableness
Neuroticism “He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”
― Lao Tzu
25. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Know yourself
Myers-Briggs
Free at 16Personalities.com, more in-depth
analysis at MBTIonline.com
Resources
StrengthsFinder
Book available on Amazon
www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/Gallup/StrengthsFinder
International Personality Item Pool (IPIP)
Available free online
https://ipip.ori.org
26. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Know yourself
Myers-Briggs
Free at 16Personalities.com, more in-depth
analysis at MBTIonline.com
Resources
StrengthsFinder
Book available on Amazon
www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/Gallup/StrengthsFinder
International Personality Item Pool (IPIP)
Available free online
https://ipip.ori.org
27. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Know yourself
Myers-Briggs
Free at 16Personalities.com, more in-depth
analysis at MBTIonline.com
Resources
StrengthsFinder
Book available on Amazon
www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/Gallup/StrengthsFinder
International Personality Item Pool (IPIP)
Available free online
https://ipip.ori.org
28. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Know yourself
Myers-Briggs
Free at 16Personalities.com, more in-depth
analysis at MBTIonline.com
Resources
StrengthsFinder
Book available on Amazon
www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/Gallup/StrengthsFinder
International Personality Item Pool (IPIP)
Available free online
https://ipip.ori.org
29. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Know yourself
Myers-Briggs
Free at 16Personalities.com, more in-depth
analysis at MBTIonline.com
Resources
StrengthsFinder
Book available on Amazon
www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/Gallup/StrengthsFinder
International Personality Item Pool (IPIP)
Available free online
https://ipip.ori.org
33. @amymarquez #PPPConf
The Empathy Slide
“…empathic emotion plays an important role in creating this paternalistic climate of support and
protection to promote successful job performance in these high power-distance cultures.”
Study - Empathy in the Workplace: A Tool for Effective Leadership
from the Center for Creative Leadership
34. @amymarquez #PPPConf
The Empathy Slide
“…empathic emotion plays an important role in creating this paternalistic climate of support and
protection to promote successful job performance in these high power-distance cultures.”
Study - Empathy in the Workplace: A Tool for Effective Leadership
from the Center for Creative Leadership
35. @amymarquez #PPPConf
What if I’m not good at empathy?
• Pay attention to others
• Pay attention to yourself
• Don’t make assumptions
• Leave the rest of the world outside the door at work
You can work to become more empathetic…
36. @amymarquez #PPPConf
What if I’m not good at empathy?
• Pay attention to others
• Pay attention to yourself
• Don’t make assumptions
• Leave the rest of the world outside the door at work
You can work to become more empathetic…
37. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Have all the feels
Paul Eckman’s Taxonomy of Compassion
“Emotional Resonance”
• Reactive Emotional Resonance - Giving the appearance of empathizing
with someone
• Identical (True) Emotional Resonance - Realizing that someone is in pain
and physically experiencing that same feeling
Read more at greatergood.berkeley.edu
38. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Have all the feels
Paul Eckman’s Taxonomy of Compassion
“Emotional Resonance”
• Reactive Emotional Resonance - Giving the appearance of empathizing
with someone
• Identical (True) Emotional Resonance - Realizing that someone is in pain
and physically experiencing that same feeling
Read more at greatergood.berkeley.edu
39. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Have all the feels
Paul Eckman’s Taxonomy of Compassion
“Emotional Resonance”
• Reactive Emotional Resonance - Giving the appearance of empathizing
with someone
• Identical (True) Emotional Resonance - Realizing that someone is in pain
and physically experiencing that same feeling
Read more at greatergood.berkeley.edu
44. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Social norms
• Go out to lunch/coffee
• Make sure you leave your building
• How do they treat the servers?
• How do they treat others at the restaurant?
• Ask them about their interests, and share yours
• What kinds of questions do they ask you?
45. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Under pressure
• How do they respond to sudden change?
• Are they able to prioritize, or do they need help with that?
• Do they remain calm or get flustered when timelines change?
• Learn their stress tells
46. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Under pressure
• How do they respond to sudden change?
• Are they able to prioritize, or do they need help with that?
• Do they remain calm or get flustered when timelines change?
• Learn their stress tells
47. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Communication skills
• Can they clearly communicate their thought processes?
• Are they good at giving and receiving critique?
• Are they comfortable presenting in front of teammates?
• …in front of leadership?
48. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Communication skills
• Can they clearly communicate their thought processes?
• Are they good at giving and receiving critique?
• Are they comfortable presenting in front of teammates?
• …in front of leadership?
49. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Collaboration skills
• Do they work well in groups?
• Do they tend to facilitate in collaborative sessions?
• Are they often quiet during workshops or critiques?
• Do they do well with disorganization?
50. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Collaboration skills
• Do they work well in groups?
• Do they tend to facilitate in collaborative sessions?
• Are they often quiet during workshops or critiques?
• Do they do well with disorganization?
51. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Finding individual motivation
• What is the team member passionate about?
• What kind of projects are they drawn to?
• Are they being challenged?
• How do they like to be recognized?
52. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Finding individual motivation
• What is the team member passionate about?
• What kind of projects are they drawn to?
• Are they being challenged?
• How do they like to be recognized?
56. @amymarquez #PPPConf
Being responsive
• Understand yourself
• Practice empathy and true emotional resonance
• Seek to know the individuals in your team
• Understand how your team works as a whole
• Own your mistakes
• Forgive yourself when you fail
• Always be mentoring, always be mentored