A perspective on helping and guiding a child in the Moore, Oklahoma recovery.

1. Ready to
help.
Recovery
in Moore,
Oklahoma
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2. In the last few weeks our state and local community have
suffered unspeakable loss. After the May 20 tornado hit
Moore, my husband and I both leapt into action, each according
to our own talents. We talked openly about our activities in the
presence of our 3-year-old daughter, but not always WITH her
specifically. Several days after the storm the inevitable day came
that we were running errands in Moore, our hometown, and we
drove by our beloved Veteran’s Park.
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3. Since infancy, this park has been the favorite destination for countless play-
dates and snow cone treats, and it was the last place of devastation I wanted
our daughter to witness. I wanted to shield her from this ugliness, so
unrecognizable I held out hope that she might not realize where we were. Not
so! She first clarified that this was indeed “her” park, and that it was indeed
broken, and when we thought she might cry or become angry she announced
“I want to help!” Despite our many attempts to explain that much of the
helping is a “daddy” job, she has relentlessly pursued us over the next several
days to let her help. It finally sunk in, that while I had been shielding her from
what I thought was too much to handle, she responded in the most natural way
she knew.
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4. Turns out, the best thing I can do
for my daughter is not to shield
her from the devastation, but to
be with her as she experiences
it, talk about it frequently with
her, and process our reactions
and emotions together as a
family as much as she is able to
participate.
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5. Certainly, she is not ready for
everything; none of us can process
all of this information at once. But
God knew before He formed her
that this day would come, that it
would be a part of her life
experiences, and He’s had a plan
all along to use this to mold her
into the woman she will become.
We’ve prayed and discussed what
God has to teach us as individuals,
a couple, and a church body
through this experience, but God’s
plans aren’t only for adults! He has
a special plan for my child, and
your children as well!

6. Lord, let me not stand in the way
of your teaching moments with my
daughter, but give me wisdom to
step back when necessary and to
step in when needed with a wise
word and loving heart. Thank you
for humbling me, for reminding
me that this incredible little girl is
yours first, mine second, and your
plans for her are greater than my
wildest imagination. Give me
wisdom to walk with her and teach
her, but most of all to point her to
you as she experiences both the
wonder and the devastation in this
life.
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7.  When painful things happen, I encourage you to prayerfully
consider what God is doing in your children’s lives as well as
your own. Take specific time aside to talk on their level about
the experience, even if they are mostly experiencing it
vicariously (through you, or the media, or friends’ accounts),
give them constructive ways to express their emotions,
positive or negative (art, music, and role play are a few
suggestions). For our daughter, we’re going to plant flowers
to help re-grow what the winds blew away. We’ll start with
pots in our yard for now, as the devastated sites really are not
appropriate or safe for young children, and then we’ll find a
way to make her efforts a part of the public healing process as
it is appropriate. Who knows, maybe one day she’ll take her
own children to the very spot we plant those flowers and tell
the story of what God did in our community!
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8. www.communitytransformationinitiative.org