This document contains a collection of short jokes and puns revolving around wordplay and misunderstandings. Some jokes involve similar sounding words being confused, objects or people in unusual places, literal interpretations of figures of speech, and unexpected word associations. The humor is derived from the ironic or unexpected twist at the end of each brief anecdote.
20 Jokes & Lessons From The ProfessionsOH TEIK BIN
A Power Point Presentation using some humor to convey some LIFE LESSONS. Download ppt File for the interactive and animation features. Done by Bro. Oh Teik Bin, Lower Perak Buddhist Association, Teluk Intan, Malaysia.
The Stolen Bacillus by Herbert George WellsEugene Lysak
Herbert George Wells was a prolific English writer, novelist, journalist, sociologist as well as a historian. His contributions to science fiction are legendary. Wells revolutionised the literary culture by introducing the genre of science fiction and filling it with realistic backgrounds, creating a form of literature which called up real emotions with fantastical elements.
Read a biography of H. G. Wells and complete the text with the appropriate forms of the missing words.
The Stolen Bacillus (1895) is the first work of fiction which Wells signed under his own name. Previously he published anonymously or under a pseudonym. Told as a third-person narrative, the story raises the author's concern about the dangers of unchecked scientific experimentation and the potential threat when knowledge falls into the wrong hands.
A girl is the witness of a murder when she gets kidnapped by the crimanals who comitted it.With no phone and no escape toll how will she escape and put them behind bars?
20 Jokes & Lessons From The ProfessionsOH TEIK BIN
A Power Point Presentation using some humor to convey some LIFE LESSONS. Download ppt File for the interactive and animation features. Done by Bro. Oh Teik Bin, Lower Perak Buddhist Association, Teluk Intan, Malaysia.
The Stolen Bacillus by Herbert George WellsEugene Lysak
Herbert George Wells was a prolific English writer, novelist, journalist, sociologist as well as a historian. His contributions to science fiction are legendary. Wells revolutionised the literary culture by introducing the genre of science fiction and filling it with realistic backgrounds, creating a form of literature which called up real emotions with fantastical elements.
Read a biography of H. G. Wells and complete the text with the appropriate forms of the missing words.
The Stolen Bacillus (1895) is the first work of fiction which Wells signed under his own name. Previously he published anonymously or under a pseudonym. Told as a third-person narrative, the story raises the author's concern about the dangers of unchecked scientific experimentation and the potential threat when knowledge falls into the wrong hands.
A girl is the witness of a murder when she gets kidnapped by the crimanals who comitted it.With no phone and no escape toll how will she escape and put them behind bars?
2024.06.01 Introducing a competency framework for languag learning materials ...Sandy Millin
http://sandymillin.wordpress.com/iateflwebinar2024
Published classroom materials form the basis of syllabuses, drive teacher professional development, and have a potentially huge influence on learners, teachers and education systems. All teachers also create their own materials, whether a few sentences on a blackboard, a highly-structured fully-realised online course, or anything in between. Despite this, the knowledge and skills needed to create effective language learning materials are rarely part of teacher training, and are mostly learnt by trial and error.
Knowledge and skills frameworks, generally called competency frameworks, for ELT teachers, trainers and managers have existed for a few years now. However, until I created one for my MA dissertation, there wasn’t one drawing together what we need to know and do to be able to effectively produce language learning materials.
This webinar will introduce you to my framework, highlighting the key competencies I identified from my research. It will also show how anybody involved in language teaching (any language, not just English!), teacher training, managing schools or developing language learning materials can benefit from using the framework.
Macroeconomics- Movie Location
This will be used as part of your Personal Professional Portfolio once graded.
Objective:
Prepare a presentation or a paper using research, basic comparative analysis, data organization and application of economic information. You will make an informed assessment of an economic climate outside of the United States to accomplish an entertainment industry objective.
Introduction to AI for Nonprofits with Tapp NetworkTechSoup
Dive into the world of AI! Experts Jon Hill and Tareq Monaur will guide you through AI's role in enhancing nonprofit websites and basic marketing strategies, making it easy to understand and apply.
The French Revolution, which began in 1789, was a period of radical social and political upheaval in France. It marked the decline of absolute monarchies, the rise of secular and democratic republics, and the eventual rise of Napoleon Bonaparte. This revolutionary period is crucial in understanding the transition from feudalism to modernity in Europe.
For more information, visit-www.vavaclasses.com
Welcome to TechSoup New Member Orientation and Q&A (May 2024).pdfTechSoup
In this webinar you will learn how your organization can access TechSoup's wide variety of product discount and donation programs. From hardware to software, we'll give you a tour of the tools available to help your nonprofit with productivity, collaboration, financial management, donor tracking, security, and more.
Operation “Blue Star” is the only event in the history of Independent India where the state went into war with its own people. Even after about 40 years it is not clear if it was culmination of states anger over people of the region, a political game of power or start of dictatorial chapter in the democratic setup.
The people of Punjab felt alienated from main stream due to denial of their just demands during a long democratic struggle since independence. As it happen all over the word, it led to militant struggle with great loss of lives of military, police and civilian personnel. Killing of Indira Gandhi and massacre of innocent Sikhs in Delhi and other India cities was also associated with this movement.
The Roman Empire A Historical Colossus.pdfkaushalkr1407
The Roman Empire, a vast and enduring power, stands as one of history's most remarkable civilizations, leaving an indelible imprint on the world. It emerged from the Roman Republic, transitioning into an imperial powerhouse under the leadership of Augustus Caesar in 27 BCE. This transformation marked the beginning of an era defined by unprecedented territorial expansion, architectural marvels, and profound cultural influence.
The empire's roots lie in the city of Rome, founded, according to legend, by Romulus in 753 BCE. Over centuries, Rome evolved from a small settlement to a formidable republic, characterized by a complex political system with elected officials and checks on power. However, internal strife, class conflicts, and military ambitions paved the way for the end of the Republic. Julius Caesar’s dictatorship and subsequent assassination in 44 BCE created a power vacuum, leading to a civil war. Octavian, later Augustus, emerged victorious, heralding the Roman Empire’s birth.
Under Augustus, the empire experienced the Pax Romana, a 200-year period of relative peace and stability. Augustus reformed the military, established efficient administrative systems, and initiated grand construction projects. The empire's borders expanded, encompassing territories from Britain to Egypt and from Spain to the Euphrates. Roman legions, renowned for their discipline and engineering prowess, secured and maintained these vast territories, building roads, fortifications, and cities that facilitated control and integration.
The Roman Empire’s society was hierarchical, with a rigid class system. At the top were the patricians, wealthy elites who held significant political power. Below them were the plebeians, free citizens with limited political influence, and the vast numbers of slaves who formed the backbone of the economy. The family unit was central, governed by the paterfamilias, the male head who held absolute authority.
Culturally, the Romans were eclectic, absorbing and adapting elements from the civilizations they encountered, particularly the Greeks. Roman art, literature, and philosophy reflected this synthesis, creating a rich cultural tapestry. Latin, the Roman language, became the lingua franca of the Western world, influencing numerous modern languages.
Roman architecture and engineering achievements were monumental. They perfected the arch, vault, and dome, constructing enduring structures like the Colosseum, Pantheon, and aqueducts. These engineering marvels not only showcased Roman ingenuity but also served practical purposes, from public entertainment to water supply.
Unit 8 - Information and Communication Technology (Paper I).pdfThiyagu K
This slides describes the basic concepts of ICT, basics of Email, Emerging Technology and Digital Initiatives in Education. This presentations aligns with the UGC Paper I syllabus.
Instructions for Submissions thorugh G- Classroom.pptxJheel Barad
This presentation provides a briefing on how to upload submissions and documents in Google Classroom. It was prepared as part of an orientation for new Sainik School in-service teacher trainees. As a training officer, my goal is to ensure that you are comfortable and proficient with this essential tool for managing assignments and fostering student engagement.
Acetabularia Information For Class 9 .docxvaibhavrinwa19
Acetabularia acetabulum is a single-celled green alga that in its vegetative state is morphologically differentiated into a basal rhizoid and an axially elongated stalk, which bears whorls of branching hairs. The single diploid nucleus resides in the rhizoid.
8. I backed a rubbish horse today. I backed it at 20 to 1. It came in at twenty past four.
9. “ Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in many places. What should I do?” “Don’t go to those places again”
10. A huge hole has opened up on the outside lane of the M6. Police are looking into it.
11. Someone complimented me on my driving today – they left a note on my windscreen saying ‘parking fine’….
12. Police arrested two kids the other day. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.
13. I was in my car and my boss phoned me. “You’ve been promoted”, he said – and I swerved. He rang a second time and said “you’ve been promoted again” – and I swerved again. He phoned a third time and said “you’ve been appointed to the Board” – and I ran into a tree. A policeman arrived and said “what happened to you?”. And I said “I careered off the road”
14. “ Doctor, I can’t pronounce my F’s, T’s and H’s.” “Well, you can’t say fairer than that, then.”
15. So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today, but I can’t remember his name. It’s P something T something R
18. I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 5p a month for 2 years….
19. I was reading a book today – The History of Glue. I couldn’t put it down.
20. I asked a plastic surgeon if she’d done anything exciting recently. She said “no, but I’ve raised a few eyebrows”
21. I went to the butchers the other day and bet him he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, “you’re right: the steaks are too high….”
22. I went into the bank the other day and asked the cashier to check my balance. She pushed me over….
23. Two eskimos were in a kayak, and felt cold – so they lit a fire. And the kayak sank. Which goes to prove: You can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
24. An ice cream seller was found dead in his van, covered with hundreds and thousands. Police believe he topped himself.
25. A van of full of liquorice was hijacked yesterday. Police believe the gang are on the run….
26. “ Doctor, I think I’m turning into a pair of curtains” “Pull yourself together!”
27. A taxi driver gave up his job because he was fed up with people talking behind his back….
28. My mate said: “what do you think of voluntary work? I said, “I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.”
29. I phoned the ramblers society today – this bloke just went on and on…
30. I bought a pair of camouflage trousers last week – - can’t find them anywhere
31. “ Pike, I didn’t see you at camouflage practice today..” “Thank you, sir!”
32. This policeman came up to me with a pencil and very thin piece of paper. He said, “I want you to trace someone for me..”
33. So this cowboy walks into a German car showroom, and says “owdy”… (think about it)
34. So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo, and he was playing ‘Dancing Queen’ on it. I thought, “That’s Aboriginal”
44. Two men walked into a bar…. You’d have thought the second man would have noticed….
45. A skeleton walks into a bar. “What’ll you have?”, says the barman. “A beer and a mop”
46. You see this watch? It’s anti-magnetic, dust-proof, shock-proof and water-proof. The first time I wore it, it caught fire…
47. So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said “Analogue?” I said, “No, just a watch.”
48. I went into a shop, and said, “can someone sell me a kettle?”. The bloke said “Kenwood” so I said “where is he?”
49. A chicken crossed the road – unfortunately it was knocked down by a car. At first the driver thought he had killed it – but in fact it had gone into a korma…
50. It was freezing outside today, but I didn’t care…. ..I just gritted my teeth..
51. So I asked my gym instructor to teach me to do the splits. He said, “how flexible are you?” and I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays”
52. She said, “you remind me of a pepper-pot”, so I said “I’ll take that as a condiment”
53. The thing I really enjoy is packing myself into a small suitcase… ..I can hardly contain myself
54. Doctor, one day I think I’m a tepee, the next day I think I’m a wigwam… ..the trouble is – you’re too tense…
55. A woman had twins, and had them adopted. One lived in Egypt, and was called Amal; the other ended up in Spain, and was called Juan. Eventually they were reunited with their mother – but she was disappointed that they looked so similar. She said: “once you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal”
56. So I said, “Do you want a game of darts?” He said “OK, then.” So I said, “Nearest to bull starts” “Baa”, he said. I said “Moo”. He said “You’re closest”.
57. A man goes to the doctors complaining he is a moth. The doctor says “you need psychiatry, which is next door” “I know”, said the man – “but your light was on”
58. Two goats are behind a movie studio eating old movie film. One says to the other: “good, eh?” “Yeah”, says the other goat, “but it’s not as good as the book”
59. Two lions walking down Oxford Street. One turns to the other and says: “Not many people about, are there?”
