1) The document contains a series of jokes that use the past continuous tense ("was/were + verb+ing") to describe situations. The jokes are presented with blanks that must be filled in with "was", "were", "wasn't" or "weren't". 2) It also includes a reflection at the end that warns against heedless and mindless actions, calling them the actions of fools. 3) The jokes poke fun at situations involving cards cheating, public transportation mishaps, dental appointments, inappropriate flirting, cannibalism, seasickness, drunkenness, childhood antics, and marital arguments.

1. The Past Continuous
Grammar
With Humor 5
Complete the jokes by using was, were, wasn’t or weren’t
1 You ….. cheating at cards tonight.
But how did you know that I ….. cheating?
Because you ….. playing with the cards I gave you.
2 A young man ….. standing on a bus. He ….. chewing gum.
An old man ….. sitting opposite him. After five minutes
the old man shouted at him, “It’s no good talking to me.
I’m deaf.”
3 A motorist was in court for speeding. He told the judge
that on the day he ….. driving at ten miles an hour and not
at sixty miles an hour.
How can you be so sure that you ….. traveling at sixty
miles an hour?
Because I ….. going to the dentist at the time!
4 Mr Goldsmith ….. shopping in an expensive London store.
He ….. talking to a young male shop assistant.
“I want something unusual to give to my beautiful
eighteen-year-old daughter for her birthday.” The young
man thought for a second, then said, “Here’s my phone
number sir!”
5 Two cannibals ….. walking along the road when they saw
a long line of people at a bus stop. One said to the other,
“Oh, look, do you fancy a barbecue?”
6 On the ferry to France a green-faced passenger ….. leaning
over the side of the boat.
“Would you like your lunch out here, sir?” asked a steward
from the ship’s restaurant.
The passenger ….. feeling very well and said,
“Just throw it over the side and save me the trouble.”

2. ANSWERS
1 were, was, weren’t 2 was, was, was 3 was,
were, was 4 was, was 5 were 6 was, wasn’t
7 were, were, was 8 was 9 were 10 were
Reflection
Any action that can bring harm to oneself or others
is not wise.
Heedless and mindless actions are actions of Fools.
7 Two very drunk men ….. trying to find their way home,
but they were lost. They ….. staggering along a railway line.
“This is a very long staircase,” said the first one. “My legs are
killing me!” The second drunk ….. holding his back.
“And the handrail is so low my back is killing me!”
8 John, what were you doing out there in the rain?
I ….. getting wet, mum!
9 Two little boys were on holiday. They ….. paddling in the
sea. “Your feet are really dirty,” one boy said to the other.”
“I know. We didn’t come last year.
10 Mr and Mrs Smith ….. arguing at the dinner table. After
half an hour Mrs Smith said, “I’ve had enough. One more
word out of you and I’m going back to live with my mother.”
Mr Smith looked at his wife and then shouted, “Taxi!”
Humor Pic
Is this smart
and creative or
sheer
Foolishness?