The author argues that they are not a procrastinator, but rather have perfected procrastination as an art form. While others see them as wasting time, the author believes they deliberately take their time to fully consider options before acting. The author calculates they would be 37 years old if they deducted all the time spent doing nothing over their lifetime. They also recount an experiment where they only worked for 2.8 hours during a full workday, showing they are not unproductive. The author promises to expand on their views later and tell a joke, showing they see putting things off as a sign of prudence rather than procrastination.