Some of the issues with my step siblings as adults... Even though we grew up together, in the same family, in the same house, my step brother whom I was always close with talked to me about "his" family as though I wasn't part of it... It was bizarre!

1. Problems with step siblings as adults…
Here’s a problem I don’t hear a lot about. Having issues with your step siblings as adults. All siblings have
issues of some sort through the years. As adults, we can suffer from many of the sibling and family issues
that we did when when we were kids. Things like the parents still favoring another sibling, simple sibling
rivalry, or even frustration over a siblings success or failure. My step family situation was so bad, I
eventually just walked away. It wasn’t a fight, or anything dramatic like that… I just stopped contact with my
step family, and in turn, they stopped contacting me.
That’s not to say we didn’t see each other occasionally. Living in a small New England county, we ran into
each other a few times before I moved out of state. I remember the last time I ran into my step sister
Petunia. Growing up, this girl made my life miserable at times. And as adults, she was even more
unbearable. She was always supposedly there for me, but the problem was, she always had a secret
agenda. She never thought twice about stabbing me in the back. Petunia is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
My life was, and still continues to be so much better and stress free since I stopped talking to her. Then I
ran into Petunia at the local grocery store…
I had just purchased my merchandise, and was exiting the store, when Petunia was coming in with her cart.
I tried to walk fast past her, but she called out to me, and I mistakenly looked up and made eye contact with
her. Mistake: I should have just ignored her and kept walking out the door. But I looked at her, and I could
see from her big happy eyes and exuberant smile that she was happy to see me. That’s how she does it,
that’s how she sucks you in, her lovable “I care about you and am happy to see you” face… Which of
course is a lie…
I was in my late thirty’s at this time, which means Petunia was in her forty’s. “How are you!” she asked
excitedly. My tactic: give short vague answers, because no matter what I say, I know it will be reported to
everyone in my step family. I mumbled something about being fine…
Petunia went on to tell me all about herself, how she wasn’t talking to her father (my step father), that there
had been a family fight. I was not at all surprised by this, and more importantly, didn’t care. So after letting
her talk for a few minutes, I interjected that I had to go, I was in a rush to get somewhere, anywhere but
there. So she quickly asked me what I was doing, because she had to have something to report to the rest
of the family. I was honest, and told her that I was planning on leaving and moving out of state in the next
year. She looked pleased, she had some good information to tell the clan. Information the others didn’t
know… Score! Petunia started asking me other questions, but I politely told her that it was nice to see her,
but I had to go, and I walked out of the store as she was still talking to me…
Then about six months after that, I had gone to the local extension office in our county to set up something
with the 4-H club I was running. As I was leaving the office and walking through the parking lot to my car,
someone called my name. I looked over to see my step brother Chipper sitting in his car. Chipper was
about four years older then me, and we had always gotten along in the past. I got along better with him
then I did my own biological brother Patrick. I walked over to him.

2. Chipper asked how I was doing, and said, of course, that he had heard that I was moving out of state. I
gave him the same answer that I had given to Petunia, a vague “I’m good…”, then I turned it around and
asked him what was happening on the farm. That’s all I needed to do, it gave him plenty of fodder to talk
about.
Apparently, there really had been a bad argument within the step family, and Chipper, like Petunia, was not
talking to “his” father. You see, when we were a part of the family, the focus was on me and my siblings. We
were the focus of all the hatred. Because, not only had I stopped talking to our step family, my bio brother
and two sisters had stopped contact as well. So with us out of the picture, the step family had nothing
better to do then to turn on each other naturally. Which again, didn’t really concern me, and didn’t bother
me. What did bother me was the way Chipper was talking to me.
Chipper went on to explain to me how “his” family worked. How “his” father had ruined the farm, and how
“his” grandfather did things right, and would be disgraced by “his” fathers actions. HIS father? HIS
grandfather? Chipper proceeded to tell me all about the farm past and present, as if I had never been
there…? As if I had never existed. As if Chipper and I hadn’t grown up together on the farm. HIS father was
the only father I had ever known. Chipper and I had worked hours together on the farm with OUR father,
stacking hay, milking cows, chopping wood in the snow. We had all gone together to the funeral when OUR
grandfather passed away.
It was such a bizarre conversation. Chipper was visibly happy to have run into me, but was talking to me as
though we hadn’t known each other in the past. I let him go on for awhile, I remember looking at him
incredulously with unblinking eyes. I ended up stopping the conversation much the same way I had ended
it with Petunia, I had to go, something much more important to do. Still to this day, I can’t believe that
conversation. That was the last time I have seen Chipper. What the heck was he thinking???
This craziness is a small amount of the reasons why I don’t see or talk to my step family anymore. What do
you think? Leave a comment and let me know… www.colliesjournal.com