Narcissism - a workshop by Alex de Carvalho
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Narcissistic Personality Disorder Workshop led by Alex de Carvalho [ Nerd Nite Miami - USA ]
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Narcissism - a workshop by Alex de Carvalho
- 1. NARCISSISM A User’s Guide Alex de Carvalho ig: @alex_dc Nerd Nite Miami 3/14/19
- 3. Narciso, Jules-Cyrille Cavé, 1890
- 4. Echo and Narcissus John William Waterhouse, 1903
- 6. • Unrealistic sense of superiority • Excessive need of admiration and attention • Arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding • Stunning lack of empathy NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
- 9. Tim Robbins The Player, 1992 COVERT NARCISSISM
- 10. Covert, closet, passive-aggressive narcissist: • Fantasies of success, beauty, brilliance • Sense of entitlement, special treatment • Associates with successful people • Self-deprecating, humble • Sociable, charming, well-liked • Has even fooled himself into thinking he’s an unpresuming guy • Only family, SO, and his PA experience his profound insensitivity Tim Robbins, The Player, 1992
- 11. HIGHLY FUNCTIONING, CHARMING, ADMIRED, DESIRED
- 13. CLUSTER B ANTISOCIAL, BORDERLINE, HISTRIONIC, NARCISSISTIC • Upstanding member of society • Causes considerable damage through hidden abuse • Mom, dad, brother, sister, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, adult child, friend, in-laws, co- worker, boss, pastor, mentor • 1 in 7 people (15% of population) • Males AND females • 150M+ Americans impacted by a Cluster B personality
- 14. HOW TO RECOGNIZE THEM? • DSM-5 American Psychiatric Association • Behaviors • How you feel
- 15. THE VOCABULARY OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE • Intermittent reinforcement • Co-dependency • Triangulation • Stonewalling • Idealization • Destructive conditioning • Devaluation • Gaslighting • Projection • Walking on eggshells • Survivor • Grooming • Thriver • Lack of empathy • Cluster B • Support group • Discard • Changing subjects • Narcissistic supply • Escape • Flying Monkeys • Moving the goalpoasts • Narcissistic wound • Support group • Smear campaign • Whole object relations • Lack of emppathy • Narcissistic rage • Blame-shifting • Hoovering
- 17. 1. IDEALIZATION (LOVE BOMBING) • Idealization – Devaluation – Discard cycle • Intermittent reinforcement starts here • Intense focus and attention • You have never felt this way before • They say they have never felt this way before • They are studying you intensely • Your weaknesses and vulnerabilities • Your strengths and qualities • Your dreams & goals • They mirror you
- 18. 2. DEVALUATION • Intermittent reinforcement • Triangulation • Blame-shifting • Gaslighting • Narcissistic wound • Stonewalling
- 19. 3. DISCARD •At the worst possible time •Stunning lack of empathy •Shocking language
- 20. SMEAR CAMPAIGN •You abused me •You hit me •You raped me •You cheated on me •You never loved me •You’re stalking me •You’re mentally ill
- 22. THE LABEL DOESN’T MATTER • It’s about how you feel • Worry, stress, walking on eggshells, guilt, shame, being stonewalled & gaslighted • Being made to think it’s all your fault • Being made to think you’re not ok somehow • It’s always about them • Your body knows
- 23. WHAT TO DO • No contact • Gray Rock • Educate yourself • Talk about it • There are support groups
- 26. “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV