Java sutra

@nickvdh @Hypernation#Devoxx #junior2professional
Java Sutra
The audience questions
Nick Vanderhoven
Jeroen Horemans

Introduction
Nick : Badass architect elite
Jeroen : Intergalactic senior supreme

Question 1
“ Since methods in Java are now first class citizens,
is it okay to write them with a first capital letter? “

Methods are first class citizen
● Bytecode library to give them a firstname and lastname
● Methods from foreign library to avoid illegal access exception

Question 2
“You said you support test driven development, but not in all cases...
… when is testing not appropriate?”

Inappropriate testing
● Testing on animal should never be allowed
● Java threats everything as an object with a number
○ Filed a JSR to introduce an extra root class: Animal

Question 3
“Sometimes I believe the compiler ignores all my comments”

Comments
In order to make people read your comments
● Give them nonsense names, like a(), execute() or doSomething()
● Use a lot of html and images in them
● Use self invented javadoc annotations like @Pre en @Post
The pattern is called comments by obfuscation

Question 4
How to keep your velocity stable

Agile velocity
Do the estimations after the story is developed
● That way you are always sure the velocity is maintained
If the velocity is 2 mandays / storypoint
● If you are ready after 1 day
● You have a day left to drink coffee

Question 5
“How did you fix your 4 hour build time?”

The long build
Kick 50% of your integration/gui tests
● even/odd approach
● If its old its stable approach
Let someone else do it

Question 6
“How come your build never fails”

The stablest build
● Push max twice per sprint
● Push when no other devs are around
● If it fails fix it fast and remove the failed jenkins build
○ Are you sure you want to delete this permanently >> YES

Question 7
You like to work with a lot of juniors, how do you keep them all busy

Newbies FTW
You had one job
● 1 junior for merging branches
● 1 junior for writing javadoc
● 1 junior for writing tests for my code
● 1 junior for fixing bugs
They can choose a new role every sprint

Question 9
How do I stop morons changing my code

My Code is not for sharing
Obfuscation is again your friend
● Self invented patterns
● Extreme use of lambdas, optional and self invented function interfaces
● Functions returning
○ functions returning
■ streams of functions
● of optionals
○ of streams
■ of functions

My Code is not for sharing
// Autogenerated, do not edit. All changes will be undone.

Any questions left?
Thank you!
Nick Vanderhoven
Jeroen Horemans

Java sutra

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