The Muslim family is strong, as is the umma, or Muslim community. Such characteristics as loyalty, honor, avoiding shame, hospitality, and the relationship of man and women are key. One's identity is tied to the family group. In addition to the father, the eldest son has great responsablity. Women's chastity is vital for family honor.

1. Islamic Studies
Family Values
MI 320
Dr. Robert Patton

2. Families have problems
like other cultures
 Distrust, rejection, gossip, abuse and
bitterness may occur
 Sometimes alcoholism, immorality,
unemployment, and other problems

3. Finances
 Saudi Arabia – a few are rich:
 Most are poor – 23% of income in
USA
 Strong group orientation
 Many are in refugee camps, war
situations

4. Family relationships
 Virtually all cultures
 You need to understand the LOCAL
language and culture
 Love, loyalty, and struggle with usual
problems of all people occur
 Family relations are strong – as well
as negative feelings if anything
interferes

5. Two key values
 Honor is tied to the group
 Controls behavior
 Arbitrates justice
 Hope to the group
 Shame – damages the group
 Group solidarity gives value and
worth

6. One way to learn
 Sometimes asking for help will open
the door to understanding the family
and values
 We need to be open in our own
struggles and victories through Christ

7. Keys to understanding
 Arabic language
 Superiority
 Exaggeration
 Shading truth to protect family
 Over-assertion
 Repetition
 Shaming

8. Keys to understanding
 Islamic values
 Finality of the Qur’an and Hadith
 Determinism
 Fatalism
 Resistance to change
 Tied to the past
 Popular Islam

9. Keys to understanding
 Bedoin Ethic:
 Group solidarity
 Mutual responsibility
 Hospitality
 Generosity
 Courage
 Self-respect
 Protection of women

10. Priorities
 Visiting
 Hospitality
 Neighbors often ask for help –
and are rarely turned away

11. Priorities
 Cooperation in larger groups
 Firing is often difficult
 May keep workers just because family
supports your business even if the worker
is inefficient
 Some ladies will pool money for larger
purchases

12. Feasts
 Id-al-Adha – at the end of the
hajj, obligatory slaughtering a
sheep (by all Muslims who can
afford it) celebrating Abraham’s
sacrifice of his son (they claim
Ishmael)

13. Feasts
 Id-al-Fitr – 3 day festival at the
end of Ramadan, visiting friends,
wearing new clothes 10th
month

14. Feasts
 Maulid al-Nabi – the birthday of
Muhammad on the 12th
day of Rabi al-
Awwal.
 Usually not a public holiday – 3rd
month

15. Feasts
 Laailat al-Baraa – the night God
registers all the deeds men do in the
following year.
 All births and deaths recorded.
 Stay awake all night – some fast,
more feast

16. Feasts
 All feasts are religious
 Nominal Muslims enjoy them too
 Respect –
 Do not eat in public during Ramadan
 Close offices & institutions on major feast
days

17. Feasts
 Christians may use Christmas, Good
Friday and Easter as celebrations.
 Celebrate in culturally appropriate ways
 Emphasize the spiritual significance
 Some Muslim countries allow Christmas
or Easter programs at government
expense

18. Feasting - Ramadan
 Hearty meal before dawn
 Until sundown, no food, drink, sex,
except for women who are
menstruating, pregnant or nursing, and
the sick and elderly.
 Travelers may make up the fast later

19. Feasting - Ramadan
 First 3 days usually no schools or
businesses, then feasting.
 Some reverse and sleep during the day

20. Ramadan holy life
 Watch sinful thoughts and emotional
outbursts
 No questionable dating, movies

21. Ramadan holy life
 Time to pray and come close to God
and the community
 Extra public prayers
 Extra food and great hospitality

22. Breaking fast: Id al-Fitr
 Big feast for several days
 Lots of visiting
 Often go to family, ask
forgiveness

23. Family life
 Family is extremely strong
 Honor is given to age, and to the man
 At age 25, the oldest son has
responsibility also for his mother
 The oldest son must maintain family
honor, and protect his sisters

24. Rhythm of Muslim life
 Common to mankind – eating,
sleeping, working
 Muslim faith – 5 pillars of faith
 Calendar of Muslim festivals
 Rites of passage – birth to death

25. Muslim calendar
 Muslim calendar is lunar and 354 days
long
 This is why the dates keep shifting,
including Ramadan – about every 35
years it is back to the beginning
 Calendar starts AH (anno Hegirae –
16 july 622 AD)

26. Muhammad on best women
 Loved by her husband and her
relatives
 Humble in her husband’s presence
 Always listens to him
 Adorns herself and is cheerfully his
joy
 Virtuous, retiring, and modest before
others

27. Birth Customs
 None commanded by the Qur’an
 At birth wrapped in swaddling clothes,
priest repeats call to prayer, gives
alms
 7th
day – Sacrifice – aqiqa
 Male – two sheep or goat
 Female – one sheep or goat

28. Birth rites
 Aqiqa – if not performed, God will not
call up the child by parents name.
Things will not go well; but doing it
brings good luck and protection
against satan
 Meat – 1/3 to poor, 1/3 to midwife, rest
to family

29. Birth rites
 Child named 7th
day – by oldest male
or pious man
 By 4 years, 4 months, 4 days – teach
the child the Bismillah
 Circumcision time varies – some say
7th
year
 Sometimes animistic practices too

30. Birth rites
 It is possible in some cases to
make Christian substitutions

31. Women’s honor
 Very important – women MUST retain
virginity until marriage, and remain
faithful after marriage
 To maintain honor, family may disown,
maim, or kill the women to reestablish
family honor

32. Women’s honor
 Breaking away from the faith and
traditions also brings great shame -

33. Women’s honor
 Women dress and behave modestly
 Never alone with a male who is not a
male from the extended family
 Young ladies marry according to family
wishes
 Children honor and obey adults, even
as adults

34. Women’s honor
 Women and children respect male
authority
 Rearing a son brings honor; no
son is a shame

35. Women’s honor
 Pregnancy outside wedlock is the
ultimate shame
 ISIS has raped women and told
them the only way to regain
family honor was as a suicide
bomber

36. Marriage
 A social contract
 Imam gives a message, and asks
each if they accept the other.
They are in separate rooms

37. Marriage
 Man promises to give a certain
amount of money if he divorces
the woman
 Man may have up to 4 wives;
must treat them equitably

38. Marriage
 There is a feast afterwards
 Sometimes arrangements for
marriage are made in advance,
and then children do not want to
honor them. This creates big
problems

39. Funerals
 Before death, affirm faith in Allah – if
necessary a substitute can do it for him
 Close eyes, recite the Qur’an, point
feet toward Mecca
 Special people wash the body in a
special way

40. Funerals
 Burial service outside
 Angels come to ask about earthly
deeds. They must not be kept waiting,
so bury quickly in a white shroud
without a casket
 Family stays home 10 days and others
come to visit

41. After burial services
 3 days – kol – Qur’an read together for
the man’s soul; distribute food to
children
 Two more services at 10 and 40 days.
The last gives food to the Muslim priest
which supposedly goes to the dead
person