This document summarizes and comments on the failed underwear bombing attempt by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab on Christmas Day 2009. It discusses how the bomb failed to detonate because Abdulmutallab had worn the same underwear for over two weeks, degrading the explosive device. It also notes speculation that his lack of washing hands after spending over 20 minutes in the toilet on the flight may have contributed to the failed attack. The document concludes by questioning if Abdulmutallab's lack of personal hygiene would affect his chances of receiving 72 virgins in paradise as promised by radical Islamic teachings.

1. Is CleanlinessnexttoGodliness?
Russell Grenning
WhenI was a wee youngladmy mummy wouldabsolutelyinsistthat “cleanlinessis nextto
godliness”as, indeed,she still preachestodaywithall of the righteouscertaintyof aContinuing
Presbyterian. Iwasalso askedprobingpersonal questionslike, “Haveyou washed behind your
ears?”
God, I wasledto believe,hateddirt.IlearnedatSundaySchool thatJesuswashedthe feetof his
disciplesduringthe LastSupperandI consideredthatnotjustreasonable giventhe state of the
roads inPalestine atthe time buta verydecentgesture.Icouldhave scouredthe Bible foryears –
not that I didand,in anycase, years laterI saw the movie whichmeantIdidn’t everhave toread the
book – and foundnoreference atall towashingbehindthe ears.
I was alsoordered,bymaternal decree,tomake sure Ihad cleanundiesonanda freshhanky “in
case of an accident” and I was alwaysleftwonderingwhy.Ihadnightmare visionsof the ambulance
man refusingtotake me to hospital afterIhad fallenoff mybike orsome other disasterbecause he
had glimpsedun-cleanunderwearora dirtyhanky.
All of these childhoodrecollectionscame floodingbackwhenIreadabout Umar Farouk
Abdulmutallab,otherwise knownasthe “underwearbomber”.
Thiswarrior forIslamtriedto blowupan Americanpassengeraircraft,NorthwestFlight253 with
almost300 people onboard from AmsterdamtoDetroit,onChristmasDay,2009. He had a bomb
concealedinhisunderwearandlastweekJohnPistole,headof the USTransportationSecurity
Administration,revealedthatthe bombdidnotgo off because Abdulmutallabhadwornhis
underpants formore thantwo weekspriortothe flight.
While Ihave no doubtthat Mr Pistole isadedicatedandenergeticprofessional,Ihave come to
appreciate hissense of delicacyandgoodtaste.Whenhe wasaskedif thismeantthat the “device”
had become damp,he primlyreplied, “Let’ssay itwasdegraded.”
It emergedatAbdulmutallab’strial thathe had spentmore thantwentyminutesinthe toiletasthe
flightapproachedDetroitand,afterhe returnedtohisseat,he coveredhimself withablanket.It
was thenthatpassengersheard “popping noises”andsmelled afoul odour.And,no,I don’teven
wantto thinkabout thatmuch lessspeculate.
Mind you,havingflownwithseveral Americanairlines,Iwouldnothave beenundulyalarmedby
that givenwhatUS airlinesare pleasedtorefertoastheir in-flightmeals.Icanonlyhope that
NorthwestAirlineswere sufficientlyculturallyaware toserve himhalal tucker.
Thenit wasnoticedthat histrouserlegandthe part of the wall of the plane nexttohimwason fire
whichprobablywasnota reactiontothe food.A brave and quick-thinkingpassengerjumpedonhim
and subduedhim –causingseconddegree burnstohishands – while flightattendantsdousedthe
fire.
Afteran emergencylanding,Abdulmutallabwasarrestedandtreatedforfirstandseconddegree
burnsto hishands andseconddegree burnstohisright innerthighandgenitalia.

2. Just whytheywere onlyseconddegree burnstohisbelow the waistareasomewhatpuzzlesme,
givenwhere the bombwasconcealed.Perhaps,whenfinishingupinthe toilet,he didn’tproperly
adjusthisclothing– somethingelsethatmummystronglycondemns –andwe can onlywonderif he
washedhishands.My suspicionisthathe didn’twhichaddsto the gravityof his outrage.
Afterinitiallypleadingnotguiltythis deranged fruitloopchangedhispleatoguiltyof eightcharges
and sackedhislawyersayinghe wantedtodefendhimself.
His defence consistedof shoutingoutseveral times, “Allah Akbar”–“God is great” inArabic– and
announcingthathe was “proud to kill in thenameof God,and thatis whatGod told usto do in the
Quran”.
Afterhe was sentencedtolife withnochance of parole,he said, “Today is a day of victory and God is
great” and thatal-Qaeda,whichhadinspiredhimandprovidedhisbomb,wouldeventuallytriumph
withacts like hisalthough,presumablyfromtheirperspectiverathermore successful acts,until “the
righteousservantsof Allah inherit the world.”
As anybodywouldimagine,inthe aftermathof thisfailedattackthere wasa furiousreactionyetthe
US Secretaryfor HomelandSecurityJanetNapoli actuallyannounced, “oncetheincident occurred,
the systemworked.” To be fair,she didn’tactuallysaythat the Dutch citizenandfilmdirectorJasper
Schuringawasa secretmemberof some US counter-terrorismoutfitwhenhe subdued
Abdulmutallabandthe nextday,aftereverybodyfellaboutindisbelief orlaughter(orboth),she
recantedandsaid the system “failed miserably.”
PerhapsSecretaryNapoli subscribestothe view of thenDefence SecretaryDonaldRumsfeldwho
explainedin2002, “We knowthereare known knowns:therearethingsweknow we know.Wealso
knowthereare known unknowns:that isto say there arethingswe know we don’tknow butthere
are also unknown unknowns –the oneswe don’tknow wedon’tknow.”
So nowyouknowand I knowthat youknow so it isknownto me as a knownknown.
Perhapsinhiszealousness,Abdulmutallabforgotthatthe Holy Quran declares, “ForAllah loves
thosewho turn to Him constantly and He lovesthosewho keep themselvespureand clean” . For his
lack of personal hygienealone,Idon’tlike hischancesof getting72virginsinparadise.