This document discusses the need to invest more in marriage preparation than extravagant weddings in order to create longer-lasting and happier families. It argues that society should provide meaningful marriage preparation for citizens to help them develop self-knowledge and ensure their well-being by forming solid marriages. While weddings have become costly, investing more time and resources into helping couples grow together before marriage could result in stronger relationships and families.

1. Preparingtbrmarriage
Fr Paul Chetcuti is amember of
the Societyoflesus.
As the fragility of marriages
increases, so does the lavishness
of.weddings. Are we investing in
form at the apense of substance?
People may disagree about what
marriage is. But all newly-weds
agree that weddings are becom-
ing a costly nightrnare. Would
i.nvesting more in marriage fhan
in weddings result in longer-last-
ing and happier families? _
What are we investing in mar-
rlage preparation? Time and
money are surely crucial. The.
average age for first marriages is .
norivlate 2Osto early 30s,normally
after a long relationship. This
seems wise. Yet these may be
alienatiag years instead of yeais
of growth and preparation foi.
maded life- Studies need crim-
pleting, careers established,
money saved, houses built and
'furirished, and soci,ifiili rnain-
tained throughout. All this
requires'''ne and moneg
How does thjs irnpsgt.the r€ila-
tionship? What is the couple
preparing br: surviving dre chore
qf 6sking a living or growing in
the ioy of sharing a life? What
nakes for a solid preparation for
alasting marriage?
Any relationship depends on
the personaliE of each individual
in the couple. Their personal
qualities, issues; flaws and real
maturity deerr,riire the quality of
ttreir relationship."So I would prit
self-knowledge as a Erst requii€-
ment. If I dodt*rrowwho Iarn,
how can I get to knowyou? Peo-
ple disconnectgd ftom tft eir inner
self can't enteiahealthy, laiting
relatianship. The/re too cgq{i-
tioned.by the inner, hidden heeds
and compulsions &ati{ill s1rfdce
in a destructive way with time-
Couries; counselling, ftiendsliips,
family conversations, ttre media,
even schooling all help yo$ng
people get to know themselvs.
Society too must shoulder its
responsibility. Opinion formers
-nfolrldinvecingreteinoarriagethaninweddfurgsrwltinlonger-lasillng and happier brrriltec?
and agents ofsocial change need
to help young couples make the
rightchoices bdsed on the right
priorities. Society needs to rede-
line success. What matters isn't
money, comfort, status, pleasure
and' sirperficial excitement-
Itlbat's essential is invisible. Ifs
&e inner meaningfulness of
gFing onesdgraciously and gra-
tuitously out of love that mkes '
Hfewrthwhile-
Fsrndl narriage preparatioli
can belp. The State needs to take
up itsresponsibility in this matter.
Itis an anomalythatthe little for-
mal marriagepreparation on offer
is only offered by the Church to
those wanting q religious m€u-
riage. Our soriety ooEa""s itrreU
mature and emancipaed, bs no
one has as yet s&ouldeced th:s
responsibility. As if a good @&r:
riage beneEts only religiow.l*o. .:
ple. It is arnazing how society
does so muchtoprepare citiuFns
provides crompulsory schcoling to
prepare children to become firl-
filled and active citizens, so
should it provide meaningful
preparation forcitbens to ensure
theirhriman, affective and social
weil-beigg by for,ming solurnd;.last-
ing and flourishinffimilies.
Even economically speaking,
serene citizens are an allset'ldlhen
t&eincreaseiahokn@es
resuleoq more bf*en cHldien,
isdt it ri;ne b'#fratteri€oc aad
resources hosr weddings tc mar-
riages?rrTbinraestm mudr in com-
fo*able dr,'rrcllings-Carftwe invest
more inhappier dwellers?We talk
.Asif
takesisaclgry-er
realtyessenQalartivebutnotrincfully
sta-r,ti+ga famity - the building -
mationrthatsoricer"
I do notquestion people's right
!o get married. Rather I am in
favour of helping them benefit
more from exercising this right. In
the same way that society
tobeeome
realty essential and asaoug deter-
mination to put our mowryndrere
block ofsocie{y- requiresnofor- 'sur mouth - orra&er, srs.tr;pi-
Eess,-is.
Marrying at tbe rigbt time in the
right way will insdll more mean-
ing to celebrating a tmly happy
wedftng.
pchetcuti€gmail.com
Fr Paul Chetcuti
gtrJtog
on..AII it
ofr&mtis