This document contains a collection of puns and play on words jokes in short one or two line formats. The jokes make use of wordplay, double meanings, and ambiguous phrases to create humorous interpretations not intended by the literal meaning of the words.

2. I used to have a fear of hurdles,
but I got over it.

3. Why a bicycle can't stand on its own ?
because it is two-tired.

4. Need an ark to save two of every animal?
I noah guy.

5. I'm glad I know sign language,
it's pretty handy.

6. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old child was resisting a rest.

7. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

8. When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

9. He drove his expensive car into a tree and
found out how the Mercedes bends.

10. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very
time consuming.

11. When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.

12. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round
table was Sir Cumference.

13. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana.

14. Jill broke her finger today, but on the other
hand she was completely fine.

15. If you don't pay your exorcist you get
repossessed.

16. I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best
dam movie I've ever seen.

17. I've always pictured myself taking selfies.

18. T
The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

19. • I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot
how it goes.

20. Lightning sometimes shocks people because it
just doesn't know how to conduct itself.

21. Pencils could be made with erasers at both
ends, but what would be the point?

22. Two hats were hanging on a
hat rack in the hallway. One hat
says to the other, 'You stay
here, I'll go on a head.'.

23. A rule of grammar: double
negatives are a no-no.

24. I usually take steps to avoid elevators.

25. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's
impossible to put down.

26. Tennis players don't marry because Love means Nothing
to them.

27. The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.

28. I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint
store. I heard I could get thinner there.

31. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.

32. It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer

33. The movie about the mobile home was advertised with a trailer.

34. My dog has a lot of potential, you just have to unleash it.

35. The owner of the hair salon had to make cuts on his staff.

36. Why are all businessmen fat?
Must be all the inflation.

37. Yesterday I was on the computer, I couldn't find the Esc and I lost Ctrl.

38. No yelling on weekdays if you eat my dessert, but I scream Sunday.

39. I wanted to bring a penguin home but my
parents said that wasn't going to fly.

40. A car can't make you high, but can a bus?

41. Visitors to Cuba are usually Havana good time.

42. Never make fun of a Scotsman's traditional garb.
You could get kilt that way.

43. As a young boy, Brutus' mother
often cautioned him not to run
with Caesars.

44. That's a cool chair. Yeah, I know, it rocks.

45. If all of the women left the country there would be a stagnation.

46. How Long is a Chinese man

47. Will this computer last five years?
Obsoletely!

48. The cat took up computer lessons in hopes of mastering its grip on a mouse.

49. If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend
of yours named Jack don't yell out
Hi Jack!

50. An astronaut who fails on a weightlessness experiment must be aware of the gravity
of the situation.

51. To become a pilot requires a good altitude.

52. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

53. In jail convicts use cell phones.

54. Vandalism is just a stone's throw away.

55. He threw butter out the window in
order to see the butterfly.

56. My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder
and harder.

57. A circus lion eat s clowns but they taste funny.

58. What do people buy coffee with?

59. Contacts are easy to lose, so keep your eyes on them.

60. I need to cut my fingernails before they get too out of hand.

61. The headlines nobody likes are

62. An hourglass is a waist of time.

63. He will not pay for his lunch because he´s a little short today

64. After working for 24 hours straight he called it a day.