A Free eBook with 100 useful and important common English proverbs. Authored by OH Teik Theam (in English). The proverbs not only serve to 'Edutain' (Educate and Entertain) but also teach good life lessons through pieces of Humor.

1. OH TEIK THEAM

2. 100 COMMON
ENGLISH PROVERBS
FREE
EBOOK
OH TEIK THEAM

3. 100 COMMON
ENGLISH PROVERBS
Copyright © 2025 Oh Teik Theam
Published by Oh Teik Theam
This book is published solely for free
distribution/circulation. It should not be
used in any way for commercial gain.

4. Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience.
- Miguel de Cervantes

5. CONTENTS
1. Self-praise is no recommendation
2. No pain, no gain
3. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
4. Practise what you preach
5. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
6. Spare the rod and spoil the child
7. One man’s meat is another man’s poison
8. A forced kindness deserves no thanks
9. Pride goes before a fall
10. As you make your bed, so you must lie in it
11. Look before you leap
12. Half a loaf is better than none (or no bread)
13. Great oaks from little acorns grow
14. He that will not work will want
15. No man is indispensable
16. Deliver your words not by number but by weight
17. Idleness is the mother of poverty
18. He laughs best who laughs last
19. Procrastination is the thief of time
20. Eat to live, not live to eat
21. No sweet without his sweat
22. If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well
23. Call a spade a spade
24. Necessity is the mother of invention
25. Promises and pie crusts are made to be broken
26. The end justifies the means
27. Manners make the man
28. Moderation in all things
29. A watched pot never boils
30. Circumstances alter cases
31. Knowledge is power
32. The grapes are sour
33. The pot calling the kettle black
34. Birds of a feather flock together
35. Too many cooks spoil the broth
36. Brevity is the soul of wit
37. Diligence is the mother of success
38. A worry shared is a worry halved
39. You reap what you sow
40. A leopard cannot change its spots
41. Do not wear out your welcome

6. 42. A miss is as good as a mile
43. Better late than never
44. One is never too old to learn
45. What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity
46. Opportunity knocks only once
47. Rome was not built in a day
48. An ounce of discretion is worth a pound of wit
49. Love is blind
50. A word to the wise is enough
51. Necessity knows no law
52. Appearances are deceptive
53. Little pitchers have big ears
54. The eye is bigger than the belly
55. Worry gives a small thing a big shadow
56. Cross the stream where it is shallowest
57. While there is life, there is hope
58. The rotten apple injures its neighbours
59. Boys will be boys
60. Of two evils, choose the lesser
61. Cleanliness is next to godliness
62. It is never too late to mend
63. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
64. It is better to give than to receive
65. Easier said than done
66. A stitch in time saves nine
67. Better to ask the way than go astray
68. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones
69. All things are difficult before they are easy
70. There’s no fool like an old fool
71. Little by little and bit by bit
72. Let bygones be bygones
73. Truth is stranger than fiction
74. A bad workman always blames his tools
75. Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves
76. When the cat is away, the mice will play
77. Beggars cannot be choosers
78. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
79. Gluttony kills more than the sword
80. Discretion is the better part of valour
81. Experience is the mother of wisdom
82. The biter is sometimes bit
83. Once bitten, twice shy
84. Revenge is sweet
85. Don’t cross a bridge till you come to it
86. Burn the candle at both ends
87. One good turn deserves another

7. 88. Every why has its wherefore
89. All’s fish that comes to the net
90. A hedge between keeps friendship green
91. Better safe than sorry
92. Advice when most needed is least heeded
93. Honesty is the best policy
94. Coming events cast their shadows before
95. The straw that breaks the camel’s back
96. Easy come, easy go
97. Cut your coat according to your cloth
98. Health is better than wealth
99. Help a lame dog over a stile
100. Prevention is better than cure

8. 1. Self-praise is no recommendation
A person who praises themselves will not earn the praise of others.
“After my powerful portrayal of Hamlet last night, the audience took thirty minutes to
leave the theatre.”
“Was he lame?”
2. No pain, no gain
It is necessary to put in great effort to succeed or make progress.
An old woman said to a young man, “I will pay you one hundred dollars if you give this
wall a new coat of ____t.”
The lad agreed to do the job. However, after five minutes of work, he felt tired and
leaned a____st a pillar.
3. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
We should not focus all our efforts and resources in one venture as we could lose
everything.
A senior citizen was walking alone in a deserted street. A robber robbed him of his
wallet.
The old geezer put up a big fight. Surprised, the robber asked, “Why did you put up
such a fight for just twenty dollars?”
“I thought you were after the one thousand dollars in my belt!”
4. Practise what you preach
Do what you advise others to do.
“Why do you walk crookedly?” a crab asked his son. “It’s better to walk straight.”
“Quite true, Dad,” the young crustacean said. “Could you show me how to walk
straight?”
“Er, I really can’t,” said the big crab, and he added sotto voce, “Not while I’m not
drunk!”
5. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Constant work without rest and relaxation adversely affects your personal life and well-
being.

9. A termite said to his friend, “We have been working our mandibles for an hour. I think
we need to rest awhile.”
The friend said, “I agree with you. It’s time we took a coffee table break!”
6. Spare the rod and spoil the child
If a child is not punished for a wrongdoing they have committed, their personal
development will suffer.
“I am disappointed with your misbehaviour,” Mother Porcupine said to her son. And as
she braced herself for the unpleasant task of spanking the naughty little rodent, she
whispered to herself, “This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt him!”
7. One man’s meat is another man’s poison
What one person finds enjoyable or beneficial, another person may find unpleasant or
unwholesome.
Two goats were munching on rubbish behind a movie studio. One found a roll of film
and started to chew it up. “Want some?” he asked his friend.
“No, thanks,” said the other caprine creature. “The book is far and away more
palatable.”
8. A forced kindness deserves no thanks
A person who does a kind deed deserves no thanks if they have done it unwillingly or with
an ulterior motive.
A blind man was leaning against a wall when a mongrel stopped and cocked its leg
against him. The blind man fished out from his trouser pocket a biscuit packet, bent
down, and offered the food to the canine.
A passer-by said, “This is a wonderful thing you are doing, considering what the dog
just did.”
The blind man said, “I only want to find out which end to kick.”
9. Pride goes before a fall
People who are overconfident or too arrogant are likely to suffer failure or misfortune.
The winner of the marathon race breasted the tape and raised his arms in triumph.
Ten minutes later, as he was stretchered off the stadium, a spectator said to herself,
“His lap of honour did him in.”
10. As you make you bed, so you must lie in it

10. You are responsible for the consequences of your choices and actions and therefore have
to put up with them.
A woman had a baby six months after her marriage. Her husband asked the doctor, “How
did that happen?”
“Don’t let it bother you,” said the doctor, smiling. “This can happen with the first
child, but never again.”
11. Look before you leap
Don’t act without first considering the possible consequences or dangers.
A rabbit and a lion went to a restaurant. The rabbit ordered a small salad with diet
dressing.
“What about you, lion?” the waiter asked.
“Nothing for me,” said the lion. “I’m not hungry.”
The rabbit said to the waiter, “If he was hungry, do you think I’d be with him?”
12. Half a loaf is better than none (or no bread)
Something is better than nothing, even if it is less than what one wanted or expected.
“Do you mind eating yesterday’s congee?” said the woman to the tramp who was
begging a handout at the door.
“No, not at all,” he said.
“Good,” she said. “Come back tomorrow.”
13. Great oaks from little acorns grow
Something of modest dimensions may grow into something large or successful.
“You have a bowl in each hand,” the woman said to the skinny beggar sitting on the
pavement. “What is the additional bowl for?”
The beggar said, “Business is so good that I have opened a branch office!”
14. He that will not work will want
A lazy person who doesn’t work won’t be able to satisfy their daily needs.
“I bet you haven’t done any work in your life,” said the woman to the bum begging a
handout at the door.
The bum said, “If you think asking mean people like you for a bite isn’t work, you
don’t know what work is!”
15. No man is indispensable

11. No one is so important that they can’t be replaced or that their absence would create a
huge problem.
“Don’t you ever take a holiday?”
“I can’t get away.”
“I’m sure the company can do without you for a week or two.”
“Of course, they can—but I don’t want them to find out!”
16. Deliver your words not by number but by weight
Words are measured by value, not quantity.
A man walking in the street quickens his pace when he realizes that the town bore is a
few metres behind him.
The bore catches up to the man and grips his shoulder. “You seem to be in a big hurry.
What’s going on?”
Breaking free, the man says, “I am”—and does so.
17. Idleness is the mother of poverty
Lack of work and effort may cause financial hardship.
“Why have you stopped carrying the bricks?” the foreman at the construction site asked a
lazy worker.
“I’m not feeling well,” said the sluggard. “Look, I’m trembling all over.”
The foreman was certain that the worker was feigning an illness, so he said, “All right,
then—get busy with the sieve.”
18. He laughs best who laughs last
Success is sweeter if you have previously endured ridicule.
A muscular young worker at a construction site was always boasting that he could beat
any man in a contest of strength.
One afternoon, an older worker said to the braggart, “I bet you ten dollars that I can
haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that shed that you can’t wheel back.”
“I accept your bet.”
Grinning, the older worker grabbed a wheelbarrow by the handles and said to his
adversary, “Get in, big mouth.”
19. Procrastination is the thief of time
Postponing things unnecessarily causes people to waste a lot of their time and disrupts
their ability to be successful.

12. The teacher said to her class, “Many people like to delay doing things without good
reason.”
She then asked a pupil, “Jimmy, do you procrastinate?”
“Yes, miss,” said the boy. “It’s a fault which I put off correcting.”
20. Eat to live, not live to eat
We should eat for nourishment, and not as a main source of enjoyment.
“I think I need to cut down on eating, from five meals a day to three, and I need your
help.”
“What can I do to help?”
“I want you to talk me out of it.”
21. No sweet without his sweat
We need effort and persistence to achieve worthwhile goals.
A woman was driving along a country road when she espied a farmer standing in the
middle of a big field of grass, doing nothing at all.
She stopped her car and walked up to him. “Excuse me, mister,” she said, “what are
you doing?”
“I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
“A Nobel Prize, eh?” said the woman, smiling. “How is that possible when you are not
doing anything at all?”
“Well,” said the farmer, scratching his head, “I heard that they give the Nobel Prize to
people who are out standing in their field.”
22. If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well
When you undertake a task, do it with your full effort and to the best of your ability.
“I’m looking for a small boy with one eye.”
“One eye, eh? Why half-heartedly?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Since he is small, you’d better use both eyes.”
23. Call a spade a spade
Speak the truth about something, even if it isn’t polite or pleasant.
“How did you like my essay on electricity?” the student asked her teacher.
The teacher said, “It was shocking!”
24. Necessity is the mother of invention

13. When the need for something becomes essential, we are more likely to find creative and
ingenious solutions.
“Who was the smartest inventor?” the teacher asked his class.
A student said, “Thomas Edison.”
“Why was he the smartest?”
“Well, he invented the light bulb so that people could stay up all night to use his
gramophone.”
25. Promises and pie crusts are made to be broken
Promises are often made without genuine intent to follow through, and are therefore not
reliable or trustworthy.
“Didn’t you promise to get good grades on your report card?” the father asked his son.
“Yes, Dad,” the boy said.
“And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?”
“Dad, since I’ve broken my promise, you don’t have to keep yours!”
26. The end justifies the means
The goal is so important that any way of achieving it is acceptable.
“Tommy,” said the father, “I hear you fought with one of the two boys across the street
and gave him a black eye.”
“Yes, Dad,” said Tommy. “They are identical twins, and I wanted some way to tell
them apart!”
27. Manners make the man
A person’s character is defined by their behaviour and how they treat others.
“My dad wants to know if he can borrow your lawnmower,” said the little boy to his
elderly neighbour.
Wanting to remind the boy of the importance of politeness, the neighbour said,
“Haven’t you forgotten something, son?”
“Oh, yes. My father said if the old geezer refuses, I should try the next house.”
28. Moderation in all things
Avoid extremes and strive for moderation in all aspects of life.
“Why are you drinking so heavily? Your doctor said you’d have to limit your drinking to
one glass a day.”
“Well, I’m following his advice faithfully—one glass a day, and right now I’m up to
July 18, 2032!”

14. 29. A watched pot never boils
If you wait anxiously for something to happen, it will seem to take a very long time, or it
will not happen at all.
“Kevin promised to call me this evening, but I’ve been waiting for the phone to ring for
two hours,” Helen said to her mother, with a sullen pout.
“You should get on with something else—like taking a bath. A person’s phone always
rings when they are in the bathtub!”
30. Circumstances alter cases
A person’s opinion or treatment of someone or something may change according to the
prevailing circumstances.
“Two hundred dollars for just a tooth extraction?” said the young patient at the dentist’s
office. “That’s twice the amount you normally charge.”
The dentist said, “You screamed so loudly that you scared away another patient!”
31. Knowledge is power
Knowledge is potential, and action transforms it into power.
“Why does it rain, Dad?”
“The rain makes the grass grow, Son.”
“Why does it rain on the streets?”
32. The grapes are sour
When a person cannot get what they want, they say it is worthless or undesirable.
“Your new car is a waste of money,” Joe said to his colleague Ben.
Ben thought, You would like very much to own one yourself. But he said, “Well, Joe, I
had no choice. My mechanic told me I could double the value of my old car—by filling
up the petrol tank!”
33. The pot calling the kettle black
A person criticizes another for a fault the first person also has.
“Our new neighbour is terrible,” the wife says to her husband. “He stole a towel from our
clothesline to clean his windows.”
“Which towel is it, dear?”
She says, “The one we took from the hotel during our holiday last month.”

15. 34. Birds of a feather flock together
People with similar interests or tastes will be found together.
“Why is it that your friends never visit you?” the prison warden asked an inmate.
The inmate said, “They are all in here, too!”
35. Too many cooks spoil the broth
If too many people work together on a task or an activity, it will not be done well.
A woman asked her new maid, “Tina, are you a good cook?”
Tina said, “Yes, I think so—if you will not try to help me.”
36. Brevity is the soul of wit
Witty people can express what they wish to say using few words.
The chairman of the conference requested the last speaker to make his talk on sex short,
as time was almost running out.
The speaker took the floor and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great
pleasure.” And then he walked back to his seat.
37. Diligence is the mother of success
Hard work and perseverance are crucial ingredients for achieving success.
“You failed the exam even though I promised to buy you a bicycle if you passed,” the
father said to his son. “What did you do with your time?”
The boy said, “I learned how to ride a bicycle at Mike’s place!”
38. A worry shared is a worry halved
Talking about your worry to someone helps to relieve your anxiety.
“You look unhappy. Do you want to tell me about your problem?”
“It’s about my wife.”
“What happened?”
“She told me she wasn’t going to speak to me for two weeks.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“I know, but today is the last day!”
39. You reap what you sow
Consequences are shaped by present actions.

16. A farmer sold his surplus butter to a grocer.
The next day, the grocer said to the farmer, “Your butter was underweight by half a
kilo.”
The farmer said, “My scale was broken, so I used the kilo of sugar you sold me to
measure the butter.”
40. A leopard cannot change its spots
A person’s fundamental traits are deeply ingrained and resistant to change.
A businessman who likes to flirt with his sexy secretary promises his wife that he will
turn over a new leaf and become a devoted husband.
One morning, the wife marches into her husband’s office and finds the secretary on his
lap.
“Keep your shirt on, honey,” he says to his wife. “I didn’t want to let you know that
business is so bad that I’m learning to be a ventriloquist!”
41. Do not wear out your welcome
If a guest stays for a longer period than is appropriate, they will become a burden to the
host.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Please don’t cry. I’m here for only thirty minutes!
42. A miss is as good as a mile
A narrow miss and a wide miss have the same practical effect—they are both misses.
The couple had missed the bus.
“We missed it by just a minute,” said the husband. “If you had walked faster, we
would have caught it.”
“If you hadn’t walked so fast,” said the wife, “we won’t have to wait so long for the
next one!”
43. Better late than never
It is better for something to happen late than not to happen at all.
“The fence needs painting badly,” the wife said to her husband. “You promised me two
weeks ago that you’d do it.”
“I’ll do it tomorrow,” he said.

17. When he had completed the task, she said judgementally, “You sure made a poor job
of painting it.”
“Well,” he said, “you said that it needed painting badly!”
44. One is never too old to learn
There is no age limit to learning new things.
The husband says to his wife, “Tommy is almost seventeen years old, so this morning I
had a frank discussion with him about the facts of life.”
The wife says, “That’s good. I’m sure you learned something new.”
45. What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity
Smiles are simple gestures, but they have a positive and uplifting effect on people.
“I don’t see your affable assistant around today,” a man says to the pharmacist. “Did she
quit her job?”
“No, I had to transfer her to the accounts department,” says the pharmacist. “All my
customers kept saying that a smile from her was as good as a tonic!”
46. Opportunity knocks only once
We may only get one chance to pursue a particular opportunity or goal, so we should
grab it when it comes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
You’re lying. Opportunity knocks only once.
47. Rome was not built in a day
We need time, effort and perseverance to achieve great things.
“It’s already five o’clock,” the householder said to the odd-job worker. “Where’s the
firewood?”
“Be patient, sir. First, I have to chop the tree down, and then I have to chop it up!”
48. An ounce of discretion is worth a pound of wit
Caution and thoughtfulness are more valuable than cleverness or wit.
“This liniment makes my arm smart,” Joan said to her friend Ruby.
Ruby simply nodded, having managed to suppress the temptation to say, “Why not rub
some of it on your head?”

18. 49. Love is blind
People in love do not see each other’s faults.
“I’m getting a divorce from Fred.”
“Why?”
“I said ‘I do’ at the wrong time during the wedding ceremony.”
“What do you mean?”
“I should have said it when the minister said, ‘Is there anyone present who objects to
this marriage?’”
50. A word to the wise is enough
A wise or intelligent person takes a hint readily and does not need a long explanation.
“Didn’t that girl you met yesterday invite you to her apartment?”
“She did.”
“So why are you home so early?”
“Well, we sat awhile and talked about this and that. And then she suddenly turned off
the lights. If she was getting ready to go to sleep, it was time I left the place.”
51. Necessity knows no law
A person who is in urgent need of something may feel compelled to act outside of legal or
societal norms to obtain it.
“So you admit that you stole the food from the convenience store because your wife and
children were starving,” said the judge.
“That’s right, Your Honour,” said the defendant.
“I will have to give you thirty days or five hundred dollars.”
“I’ll take the five hundred dollars, Your Honour. I could use the money.”
52. Appearances are deceptive
Superficial appearances can be misleading.
“I can’t serve as a juror, Your Honour. I took a close look at that fellow, and I’m certain
that he’s guilty.”
“That’s the public prosecutor!”
53. Little pitchers have big ears
Young children may overhear what they should not.
Little Johnny asks a visitor to his house, “Could you show me your trick?”

19. “What trick?”
“Dad says you drink like a fish.”
54. The eye is bigger than the belly
A person wants more food than they can eat, often due to being greedy or overestimating
their capacity.
“Mum, I’m having terrible pains in my stomach,” says little Charlie.
The mother asks, “What did you eat at the party?”
“I had a slice of pizza.”
“But pizza shouldn’t make you sick.”
“Well, I drank a glass of orange juice and ate a bowl of cashew nuts. The apple pies
and anchovy buns were delicious too. After that I had two drumsticks, two cheese burgers
and three portions of vanilla ice cream. And then I had to eat that lousy piece of pizza,
and it made me sick!”
55. Worry gives a small thing a big shadow
Excessive worry can amplify small matters, making them seem far more important and
frightening than they actually are.
The doctor says to the patient, who is chewing his fingernails, “The best thing for you to
do is to stop worrying and bury yourself in your work.”
The patient says, “This is terrible—I am a grave digger!”
56. Cross the stream where it is shallowest
When you tackle a problem or task, find the simplest approach or route to success.
The farmer asks his new farmhand, “Did you count the cows?”
“Yes, I did. You have thirty-six head of cows.”
“And you took an hour to complete the task?”
“It wasn’t easy: I had to count the legs and divide the number by four.”
57. While there is life, there is hope
The present situation may not look good, but as long as we are alive, there is a possibility
for things to improve.
“Is it true that your rubber ball factory has folded?” a reporter asks a businessman.
“Yes,” the businessman says, “but I am confident that I will bounce back.”
58. The rotten apple injures its neighbours
People of bad character can corrupt the people they associate with.

20. Little Johnny asks his mother, “Can I go out and play with Randy?”
The mother says, “He’s not a nice boy to play with.”
“Then can I go out and fight with him?”
59. Boys will be boys
Boys can be expected to behave in a boisterous, rowdy or even reckless manner.
Six-year-old Tommy says to his mother, “Mum, Eddie broke a window.”
“How did he do it?”
“I threw a rock at him, and he ducked his head.”
60. Of two evils, choose the lesser
Choose the somewhat less unpleasant of two poor choices.
A little boy accidentally collided with a woman on the pavement.
“Sorry, miss,” he said. “I have to go home quickly for my mum to spank me.”
“Goodness,” said the woman, “I’ve never before seen a boy in a hurry to get home to
be punished.”
The boy said, “If I don’t get home by five o’clock, my dad will be home to mete out
the punishment.”
61. Cleanliness is next to godliness
It is a virtue to keep clean in person and attire.
The teacher was sure that the pupil had not washed his face, so she said to him, “I can see
what you had for breakfast this morning.”
“What did I have?” the pupil asked.
“Soft-boiled eggs.”
“Wrong! That was yesterday!”
62. It is never too late to mend
It is never too late for a person to reform and lead a better life.
Two shipwrecked sailors had been drifting aimlessly in mid-ocean on a makeshift raft for
three days.
One of them became frightened and fell on his knees to pray. “Oh God, I’ve sinned all
my life. I drink heavily, I cheat at gambling, and I betray my friends. If you give me
another chance, I promise never to—”
“Hold on, Joe,” said his friend suddenly. “Don’t go too far. I think I see a ship.”

21. 63. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
You do me a favour, and I’ll return it.
“The waiter served me twice as much food yesterday,” the diner said to the restaurant
manager.
“Where did you sit yesterday?” the manager asked.
“Over there by the window.”
“The larger portion yesterday was for advertising.”
64. It is better to give than to receive
The more you give, the more you will get.
“Children,” said the moral science teacher, “I want you to memorize this motto, ‘It is
better to give than to receive’.”
A boy raised his hand and said, “It’s my father’s motto for his work.”
“That’s very noble of him,” said the teacher. “What does he do?”
“He is a professional boxer.”
65. Easier said than done
Easy to talk about but difficult to do.
“Look at the poor grades on your report card, Son. You have to do something about
them.”
“Easier said than done, Dad. My erasers can’t work on anything written in ink.”
66. A stitch in time saves nine
It’s better to solve a problem immediately before it becomes a much bigger one.
“If we mend a small tear in a dress now,” said the teacher, “we avoid having to mend a
big tear later. Can anyone tell me which proverb I’m referring to?”
The pupils all had puzzled expressions, so the teacher prompted them to give an
answer. “A stitch in time saves…what?”
Mary raised her hand and said, “Embarrassing exposure.”
67. Better to ask the way than go astray
We should swallow our pride and ask for help or advice to avoid becoming lost or doing
something in a wrong way.
A motorist stops his car on a country road and asks a farmer, “How far is it to the nearest
town?”
“Well,” says the farmer, chuckling, “the way you are going it’s about sixty kilometres,
but if you turn around it’s only five.”

22. 68. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones
People who have faults should not criticize other people for having the same faults.
A woman listened in amusement as her neighbour said to her, “The world is full of
dishonest people. This morning, the grocer passed me a forged fifty-dollar note. Luckily,
I managed to pass it to the butcher.”
69. All things are difficult before they are easy
Difficult tasks become easy with constant practice.
The doctor says to the patient, “Your cough sounds better this morning.”
The patient says, “I had a lot of practice last night.”
70. There’s no fool like an old fool
The foolish behaviour of an old person, whose age should have made him wise, seems
more shameful than that of a young person.
“Did you mark the place where the fishing was good?”
“Yes, Grandpa. I put an X on the side of the boat.”
Grandpa said, “That was foolish. What if we use another boat on our next fishing
trip?”
71. Little by little and bit by bit
Do not be discouraged by the size of a task. Stick to it and you’ll succeed.
“How do you manage to write such thick books?” an aspiring young writer asked the
famous novelist.
The novelist said, “If you want to write a three hundred-page book, write a page each
day and you will complete the book in less than a year.”
“That’s amazing. I can’t even write half a page in one day.”
“Well,” said the novelist, “writing is not unlike quarrelling with one’s spouse—one
word leads to another!”
72. Let bygones be bygones
Forgive past grievances and move on.
“Whenever my wife and I quarrel, she becomes historical,” a man says to his best friend.
“Don’t you mean ‘hysterical’?”
“No, historical. She likes to dig up the past.”

23. 73. Truth is stranger than fiction
Real-life events or things are sometimes more incredible than imaginary ones.
“I finally had a story accepted,” the would-be fiction writer said to a friend.
“That’s wonderful.”
“Last Sunday, I got home at three in the morning, and my wife believed every word of
my explanation.”
74. A bad workman always blames his tools
A person who does a job poorly blames external factors rather than admitting their
mistakes or lack of ability.
A man walks into a hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that can fell five trees in an
hour. The proprietor recommends the latest model of a popular brand.
The next day, the man returns the tool and says, “This chainsaw is not good. It cuts
down only one tree in a day.”
The proprietor starts the chainsaw up to see what’s wrong. The saw roars to life. And
the man says, “What’s that noise?”
75. Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves
Save in small amounts and eventually you will have a large amount.
The husband says to his wife, “This morning, I ran behind a bus and saved a dollar.”
She says, “You should have run behind a taxi and saved twenty dollars!”
76. When the cat is away, the mice will play
When the person in authority is away, the other people will do what they want, or
misbehave.
“Did you enjoy your holiday, Mr. Lee?” the secretary asked her boss.
“I did,” he said. “Did the staff enjoy my holiday, too?”
77. Beggars cannot be choosers
People with no other options must be satisfied with what is offered.
A beggar knocked on the back door of a house and asked for food.
The householder said, “Didn’t I give you some of my wife’s homemade pie
yesterday?”
“Yes, you did, sir, but I’m all right now.”

24. 78. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Beauty is subjective, not objective. What one person finds beautiful, another may not.
Two little boys were looking at an abstract painting in a gift shop. One of them suddenly
said, “Let’s run before they say we did it!”
79. Gluttony kills more than the sword
More people die from overeating than are killed in battle.
“Who ate my porridge?” cried Mother Bear.
“Who ate my porridge?” snivelled Baby Bear.
Father Bear patted his stomach and gave out a loud belch.
80. Discretion is the better part of valour
It is better to avoid a dangerous or unpleasant situation than to confront it.
A lion escaped from the zoo. The zookeeper said to a worker, “Why don’t you track it
down?”
Shaking his head, the worker said, “I’m not brave enough.”
“Drink some booze first.”
“No. Booze gives me too much courage!”
81. Experience is the mother of wisdom
We learn from what happens to us.
“You want five thousand dollars a month when you don’t have any experience?” said the
interviewer.
“Well,” said the job applicant, “the work is more difficult when you don’t know
anything about it.”
82. The biter is sometimes bit
A person suffers from what they have done to cheat another person.
“What’s this charge for ‘watermelon’?” the hotel guest asked the manager. “We didn’t
eat the fruit.”
“It was put in your room every day. It’s not our fault if you didn’t eat it.”
“I see,” said the guest as he subtracted three hundred dollars from the bill.
“What are you doing?” sputtered the manager.
“I’m subtracting one hundred dollars a day for your kissing my wife.”
“What? Are you crazy? I didn’t kiss your wife!”
“Ah, but she was there.”

25. 83. Once bitten, twice shy
A painful experience with something is not forgotten and teaches caution.
It was early Friday afternoon, and the boss announced that he was leaving the office to
play golf.
Five minutes later, all the staff left the office, too.
When Charlie, the accounts clerk, came home, he found his wife in bed with his boss.
He quickly left the house and went to a mall.
The next Friday, the boss again announced that he was leaving the office early to play
golf. The staff again started leaving the office within five minutes of the boss’s
departure—everyone except Charlie.
“What’s the matter, Charlie?” someone asked. “He won’t be coming back.”
“No, I won’t be leaving before five o’clock. Last week, I left early and I almost got
caught!”
84. Revenge is sweet
We feel satisfaction from harming someone who has harmed us. (However, seeking
revenge can lead to negative consequences.)
A woman whose husband cheated on her divorced him. One morning, she found an old
oil lamp. She rubbed it, and a genie appeared.
With an extravagant bow, the grateful apparition said, “I’m going to give you three
wishes, but with every wish your ex-husband will get twice of what you get.”
The woman thought awhile and said, “For my first wish, I want to be rich.”
She became rich, and her ex-husband became twice as rich.
“For my second wish, I want to be beautiful.”
She became beautiful, and her ex-husband became twice as handsome.
The genie said, “What is your third and final wish?”
“I want you to scare me half to death.”
85. Don’t cross a bridge till you come to it
Do not concern yourself with difficulties until they happen.
“My wife is pregnant, and I am really worried.”
“Why is that?”
“A few years ago, she read A Tale of Two Cities and we had twins. Fifteen months
later, she read The Three Musketeers and we had triplets. Now she is reading The Sign of
Four!”
86. Burn the candle at both ends
Work or do other things from early in the morning until late at night and so get
insufficient rest.

26. “Look at our poor son studying for his final exam. He looks so exhausted. I think he is
burning the candle at both ends.”
“I think it’s worse than that, dear. He has cut the candle in two and lit up all four ends.”
87. One good turn deserves another
An act of kindness should be paid back by another act of kindness.
A doctor had a leak in the bathroom that worsened by the minute. Even though it was
three in the morning, he called his plumber.
“For goodness’ sake,” said the plumber, “don’t you know what time it is?”
The doctor said, “You’ve never hesitated to call me in the middle of the night with a
medical problem.”
“OK,” said the plumber, “tell me what’s wrong.”
The doctor explained about the leak.
The plumber said as he stifled a yawn, “Drop two aspirins down the pipe every two
hours. If the leak hasn’t cleared by morning, call me at the office.”
88. Every why has its wherefore
Everything has a reason or explanation behind it.
“I’m Dr. Tan’s nurse,” a sweet voice said to the famous writer, “and I’m calling to inform
you that your cheque came back.”
The writer said, “Tell the doctor that my rheumatism came back, too.”
89. All’s fish that comes to the net
Anything that comes your way can be of value or advantage if you are resourceful.
“Where’s the caddie who accompanied me yesterday?” the golfer asked the new caddie.
The new caddie said, “He’s gone fishing with the worms you dug up, sir!”
90. A hedge between keeps friendship green
A healthy friendship reflects a certain amount of distance and privacy.
An invisible man said to another invisible man whom he had not met in a month of
Sundays, “”It’s so good not to see you again!”
91. Better safe than sorry
Being careful may avoid unpleasant consequences.

27. “After tonight’s show, I’m going to have you killed in Act I instead of Act III,” the
producer says to the stage actress.
“Why the change?”
“I want to preclude the possibility of the audience taking the same action.”
92. Advice when most needed is least heeded
People who are in the greatest need of advice are the ones most likely to ignore it.
“I think I’m wasting my advice on my son.”
“You didn’t waste your time. Twenty years from now, he’ll be using the same advice
on his son.”
93. Honesty is the best policy
Honesty always pays in the long run.
A boy said to a friend, “You remember that puppy that I found in my porch a few nights
ago? I tried to sell it, but the highest offer I got was five dollars. I finally decided to find
its owner. After some hard work, I found him—and he gave me a reward of one hundred
dollars!”
94. Coming events cast their shadows before
There are often early signs or indications of future happenings.
The court found the pickpocket guilty. A woman who knew him said to her friend,
“When he was born, his right hand was clutching something—the midwife’s wedding
ring!”
95. The straw that breaks the camel’s back
The last in a series of unpleasant or difficult events that makes a person feel that they
cannot tolerate a situation any more.
A doctor made a house call on a sick woman. He went into the woman’s bedroom but
came out a minute later and asked her husband, “Do you have a hammer?”
The husband was puzzled, but he got a hammer from his toolbox.
Another minute later, the doctor came out of the room and asked for a pair of pliers.
The husband complied with the request, although he was beginning to feel worried.
Five minutes later, the doctor asked for a hacksaw. The husband asked, “What are you
doing to my wife?!”
“Not a thing,” the doctor said. “I can’t open my bag.”
96. Easy come, easy go

28. Something that is easily got is soon spent or lost.
Richard went to the racecourse with one hundred dollars in his pocket. He picked a forty-
to-one shot in the first race and won. His good luck continued until the end of the
afternoon, when he had collected more than ten thousand dollars.
On his way back to his apartment, he stopped at a casino to play roulette. He quickly
increased his winnings to almost twenty thousand dollars. As he was about to leave for
home, he had a hunch—and all his money went on black.
The ball bounced, rolled, and settled. The croupier called out, “Red!”
When Richard reached his apartment, his roommate asked, “How did it go?”
“I lost one hundred dollars.”
97. Cut your coat according to your cloth
Live within your means, and adjust your plans according to the resources you have.
The wife had hinted that she wanted a big car for her birthday. The husband couldn’t
afford to buy a big car, so he bought a small one instead.
She was visibly disappointed, and said, “I’ve set my heart on a big car.”
“We are not made of money,” he said, “so that’s the only part of your anatomy that
you can set on it.”
98. Health is better than wealth
Good health is more important than material possessions.
“Are you sure he left no money?”
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
“Well, he lost his health getting wealthy, and then he lost his wealth trying to get
healthy.”
99. Help a lame dog over a stile
Offer assistance to someone facing a difficulty or problem.
A woman was struggling with a couch at the doorway when a passer-by went to help her.
After a few minutes of hard work, the woman said, “We’ll never get this thing in
through the doorway.”
“In?” said the good Samaritan. “I thought you were trying to get it out!”
100. Prevention is better than cure
It’s wiser and easier to stop something happening in the first place than to fix it after it
has happened.

29. A reporter asked the sergeant of a village police station about the size of his workforce.
“Four men, including me,” said the sergeant.
“Surely there isn’t enough work here to keep all of you occupied.”
Smiling, the cop said, “True, there isn’t enough work, but if we weren’t here, there
would be.”
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