This document discusses the author's family relationships and communication patterns. It analyzes the family using concepts from academic literature on family roles, communication, and relational maintenance. The author's family exhibits some discomfort with photos together and independence alongside involvement. Sibling relationships are up and down but aim to maintain closeness. Parents' roles have changed over time, and communication norms around privacy differ between family members. The family works to maintain ties with extended family.

1. By: Katy Robinson

2.  Due to the lack of photos of the entire family
together, and the discomfort exhibited by my
parents when taking photos, there will be
limited photos of the whole family, but many
photos with different parts of the family
together. This is my family, this is our crazy.

3. “Connected. Family members experience
emotional independence as well as some
sense of involvement and belonging”
(Brommel, Bylund, and Galvin 2004).
Our family is involved with one another
(we all live next to each other) but we
also enjoy some emotional
independence. We can rely on each other
in times of crisis, but we don’t always
have to be near each other.
Regardless, we all feel a sense of
belonging within the family-of-origin
structure.

4. In my family, our relationships are always up and down. My sister karissa
and I certainly move through phases of strong cohesion, and phases
where we can’t stand to be around one another for any length of time.
Overall, we are both learning how to have a “normal” adult relationship
and leave adolescence and the childhood years behind.

5. “Sibling ties represent the longest lifetime relationships for most people…” (Brommel, Bylund, and
Galvin 2004).
I think that my sister and I learned a lot from our parents about what it means to be a sibling. Our
dad has an awkward relationship with his brother that is still living, our mom has a good relationship
with one aunt, wont speak to or speak of another aunt, and has an awkward relationship with her
mentally handicapped sister. In seeing this relationships play-out over the course of our lives, we
have determined that we don’t want to grow that far apart where a normal relationship is impossible
and the most we can muster is an awkward encounter. As a result, we have a yearly ritual where we
go to Salem, MA together the weekend before Halloween.

6. “…female sibling use relational
maintenance behaviors at a higher
rate than males…”
(Brommel, Bylund, and Galvin 2004).
I completely agree with this finding!
I see my sister and I using a lot of
the strategies, especially humor and
confirmation and validation. We
learned from our dad that
sometimes, humor can lighten any
situation, and other times, it’s just
fun to laugh. Together, if in the
mood, we can both be found
laughing at something someone else
might find strange. We also
confirm/validate the
other, especially if we need to vent
about work and school (both of our
lives are pretty identical as far as
work and school environments go).
The one venting will be validated by
the other with reassurances that it
will get better, and that her problem
is certainly nothing to be scoffed at.

7. “As parent and child relationships move from being highly veritcle to much more
horizontal, responsibility for relational maintenance becomes shared”
(Brommel, Bylund, Galvin 2004).
As I got older, my parents always supported me, with whatever I chose to pursue. They have
always counted my sister and I as huge sources of pride, and as a result, we have always
strived to be the people they see us as. It is awkward to have some conversations with
either parent, but I have seen that my sister and I can rely on them (their relational
currency in many ways is and likely will always be, caring for their children (including much
more adult children)). They support us, and we both work to keep an open communicative
relationship.

8.  “Roles are inextricably bound to the
communication process”
(Brommel, Bylund, and Galvin 2004).
 “Family roles and communication are
strongly interrelated because each
contributes to the maintenance or change of
the other”

9. For much of my life, the role of my mom has been constantly changing!
She was a stay at home mom until my sister and I were old enough to
take care of ourselves. Now she works and uses the money she earns for
things she would like to do. She cares for the family as a traditional
housewife, making dinner, cleaning the house, and doing the
laundry, but she also has her own job and her own independence., she
does not depend solely on my dad financially. My mom is also the one
that provides the MOST nurturing and emotional support.

10. My sister and I both look to our dad for
emotional support, but less than our
mom. Our dad does provide the basic
resources, as the “bread-winner” in the
family. He is also the one that has the
most authority over large purchasing
decisions. Both parents will discuss the
purchase, but ultimately, what my dad
wants is what he gets.

11. “Other times people misunderstand the privacy agreement or forget that the information should be
kept private” (Brommel, Bylund, and Galvin 2004).
This is something that my mom (center) has trouble negotiating. In adolescance both my sister and I
wanted to disclose information about our lives to her, just to have her telling our dad. Her rule was,
he is your dad and deserves to know everything, and my husband, I will not lie to him. This made my
sister and I (and still does a lot of the time) uncomfortable openly sharing more private information
with her simply because we would rather our dad not know about it.

12. “One important maintenance function involves maintaining kinship ties with the extended
family network” (Brommel, Bylund, and Galvin 2004).
My older sister Bev (back right) and her three youngest daughters (front left) are rarely at
our house. Bev’s husband likes to keep him and his family to himself, so my dad and mom
both strive to keep up kinship maintenance with Bev so that she and her youngest children
will know us. My sister and I both work to maintain a relationship with the girls, so they
might remember us from visit to visit and not feel so shy at first. So far, this plan has
worked well. They are terrified of dogs, especially big ones, but here they are pictured with
my 74lb boxer, Levi, because they trusted us that nothing would happen.

13. Another important reason for my sister
and I to maintain kinship ties with one of
our nieces who has been subject to
cyber-bullying and an unfortunately
unpleasant high school experience.
“Cyberbullying victims were almost twice
as likely to have attempted or considered
suicide compared to youth who had not
experienced cyberbullying”
(Brommel, Bylund, and Galvin 2004). We
hope that due to our relatively close
ages, we can be there for her, and she
will be able to recognize that she is far
from alone, despite how it she might feel
at times.

14. “They need to be able to engage in
difficult consations on current concerns”
(Brommel, Bylund, and Galvin 2004).
In this case, my family has had to have
the difficult conversations about my
aunt’s health. She was recently
diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately it is
the survivable type, but regardless, as a
family we have had to discuss how we
can help her get to her appointments and
possible outcomes of her treatment.

15. “In any crisis stage, members go through a process of managing the loss, grief, or chaos”
(Brommel, Bylund, and Galvin 2004).
In our lives, my sister and I grew up with one grandparent. We lost her when we were both
young. Then, as adolescence began to hit me, and my sister not being far behind, we lost
our aunt and uncle within months of each other. We were devastated. Our Mom and Dad had
to help navigate us through the stages of grief, while dealing with the loss themselves.
Today, we remember our lost family members with stories of the past, a celebration of the
memories we were able to make. My sister and I both like to believe that our Gram would
be proud of us if she were here today.