Veterans have learned basic skills in the military that can be used for self-care. Veterans are caregivers too who can build compassion resilience skills to overcome compassion fatigue, burnout, and secondary traumatic stress.

1. “Self-Care for Caregivers”
by Dr. Edward M Smink PhD
VETERAN HEALTH EDUCATION & BENEFITS WORKSHOPS“
Lunch and Learn”

2. I. Introduction
My Father’s Story
 A veteran from WWII in the Merchant Marines
 Never able to tell his story on Omaha Beach
 Who would understand?
 Who would listen?
 Would he be considered less for acknowledging his pain?
 How could he deal with being powerless?

3. He carried into war
the unresolved pain
and grief of his
father’s death when
he was 16. A man
whom he worshiped.
Suffering from what is
now called PTSD, he
turned to alcohol to
smother and cope with
his unresolved pain and
complicated grief.

4. II. About me!
Gosh! Don’t I look wonderful for my age!
Not a Veteran
However, Studies have shown that living with a parent with
alcoholic dependency is like living in a war-zone
While I do not have the experience of combat, I can relate to
three areas of that veterans experience:
1. Trust- How can you trust when you are waiting for the next
shoe to drop- and how you wish it could be different.
2. Emotions-Dangerous, they are hidden, somewhat
submerged. How can you acknowledge what you are
feeling, rather than numb, because if you do, you don’t
know what you can do with them. (Children of a Lesser
God.)
3. Truth-telling- How can I speak when it is dangerous and
no one will listen. Does anyone really want to hear my
story?
I am a survivor of primary and secondary PTSD

5. 1. Over forty years of experience in healthcare as
nurse, crisis and pastoral counselor, executive
leader, facilitator of mission, ethics, value and
leadership formation and community health.
2. Served on local, regional and international
committees of value formation in the US,
Australia, Korea, England, Spain and Italy.
3. Has learned most from my experience with
colleagues who care for others and from those
who needed his services.
4. Most of the materials I am speaking about this
afternoon come from my new book The Soul of
Caregiving, A Caregiver’s Guide to Healing and
Transformation.

6. Developing skills to break through experiences of a
lack of trust, inability to speak, and difficulty in
expressing feelings is what self-care is about that
creates a path to healing

7. Who are the caregiver’s?
We all are!
For at the heart of being human is the ability to care
and to build human relationships

8. In the military you are trained to develop selfless
dedication and personal sacrifice to achieve the
mission. Trained to cover each other’s back as a
team.
As Veterans, you have skills to
help you with self-care.
What you have developed for
others you can use for yourself.

10. Is your call to military service
a call to care for others?
Caregivers are most fulfilled when they can make a difference
for someone else. Is this part of self-care?

11. Because you have cared….
You have put your life on the line, scarified for others, and
experienced physical, emotional, and spiritual fatigue.
Because you have cared….
You have experienced what all caregiver’s experience
Compassion Fatigue.

12. Skills learned in the military help with self-care

13. What is Self-Care?
Has to do with “Loving your
neighbor as you love yourself”
Looking in the mirror
“For you have knit me in my
mother’s womb and wonderful
are your works oh Lord.”

14. Badass Skills Learned in the Military.
from www.badassboys.com
Are These Examples of Self Care?
-
 Personal Discipline
 Getting along with others
 Team Work
 Toughness and Tenacity
 Learn Quickly and Be
Adaptable
 Take Responsibility
 Leadership
 How to be Decisive
 Good Etiquette
 How to keep Fit
 How to Work under Stress
 Practical Skills
 How to Form Good Habits
 Loyalty
 Minimalism-Streamlined

15. Characteristics of a Caregiver
What is similar to your experiences in the Armed Services?
Supporter Lends encouraging help, guidance or counsel to
others
Advocate Stands up to others on behalf of those at a
disadvantage
Developer Brings out and/or fosters capabilities and potential
in others
Service provider Provides consistent , high quality service or
support
Altruist Gives selflessly to make a difference for others

16. Strengths of Caregiving
 Providing Great Service
 Providing care of counsel
 Advocating for and marshalling people resources
 Creating stable, supportive environments where people
can develop/grow/heal
 Putting structures in place to help others and keep them
safe from harm
 Responding to need/offering assistance
 Modeling servant leadership

17. What is Compassion Fatigue?
Christina Maslach argues that the symptoms can be
physical, emotional, and spiritual. Again, caregivers
experience these because we care.

19. Do you have an elephant in
your room that needs
attention?
Metaphor: How do you eat an elephant?
On bite at a time!
Or
Said another way: Learning the skill of chunking it.

20. Too much at one time is not
good. If symptoms of
Compassion Fatigue took
time to develop, they will
take time to dissipate with
building compassion
resilience skills, one step at a
time is called chucking it.

21. When feeling overwhelmed – Do what is the
easiest thing to do!

22. Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue
Symptoms can be physical, emotional, and spiritual.
1. Physical exhaustion symptoms
somatic complaints,
weight loss or weight gain,
gastric intestinal distress,
insomnia,
aches and pains.

23. 2. Symptoms of emotional exhaustion
 outbursts,
 emotional instability,
 anger,
 suicidal ideation,
 cynicism,
 irritability,
 racing thoughts,
 sarcasm,
 poor concentration,
 violent fantasies,
 fears and anxiety,
 isolation and withdraw from interpersonal relationships,
 fears of relating one’s experience
Instead of turning toward a loved one or colleague, one turns to
isolation and self-medicating with drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex,
and food addictions.

25. 3. Symptoms of spiritual exhaustion
Our spiritual values may be challenged.
We seem to be drifting out to sea,
experiencing a loss of meaning and
purpose
Caregivers experience a loss of joy and
happiness. They become like robots,
appearing at work to do a job but with the
loss of the passion they once had. We all
know through our own experiences with
our peers, that some members are on the
precipice of falling into compassion
fatigue, burnout, or secondary traumatic
stress, even PTSD.
We move from caregiving to caretaking

26. Building compassion Resilience
Three rules by Eric Gentry
Story of Allison

27. Building Compassion
Resilience – Self-Care
1. Acknowledge: “Houston we
have a problem.”
Hospitality: Inner and Outer experiences
Chinese symbol for Crisis
Creating the space to welcome
As the host -We are trained to help
others – to welcome the guest
As the host - We are trained to listen to
their stories – in creating a unique
relationship
As the host - Are we able to listen to the
inner stirring of our soul because of this
experience?

29. 2. Sharing our Story: Seek
Someone who will listen.
State Department Guidelines
for Listening
Four rules of active listening:
To seek to understand vs.
to be understood
To be non-judgmental
Give undivided attention
Use silence effectively

30. Creating the Space of listening
 Three rules of listening
Story of Children of a Lesser God
Painting the bars of our cells gold

31. Self-Care is often easier than we think

32. 3. Developing a Self-Care Practice of Relaxation
What is your spiritual practice of relaxing?

34. We are wounded Healers

35. Thank You for being
a Caregiver!
Questions and Answers