The Ladder of Manhood and Challenging Harmful Masculinity

Jeff Perera
Community Engagement Manager
jperera@whiteribbon.ca
Twitter: @jeffperera
white ribbon

Conversations
we need
to have
with men,
young men
and boys
whiteribbon.ca

whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon

Ideas of who
we can
or can’t be.

Explore through
the lens of Gender

“If we want to create safe learning
environments, we need to take a hard look
at how power disparities influence who
feels safe and who doesn’t – and how we
can challenge those power disparities as
educators, parents, colleagues, fellow
students, and fellow human beings.
- Steph Guthrie
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca

How does
your
Gender
impact
your
dream?

www.whiteribbon.ca
@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera

whiteribbon.ca
“Good teams have good players. Great
teams have great teammates.”
- Roy Rana

Reality
For
Women
And
Girls

More than 1000 Aboriginal Women have
been murdered, are missing or feared dead...

“Being a woman or girl online,
is like being in a dark alley”
– Ramona Pringle

By the age of 12,
1 in 4 girls will
experience
street
harassment in
the form of
unwanted
attention in
public.
By the age of 19
that number is
nearly 90
percent.
From ‘Street Harassment: Every Women’s War” by
Ebony Magazine’s Kristin Braswell

Role and Responsibility
vs.
‘Blame and Shame’

@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.caLabels

What does it mean to be a girl?

Courageous vs.
Conscientiousness

Sugar and Spice:
What a girl ‘can and can’t be’

What does it mean to be a boy?

Tough
Aggressive
Not Emotional
Smart
Keep in inside
Strong
Knows all
about Sex
“Be A Man”
In control
Can take it
Take charge
Capable
Hard
Push people around
Don’t back down
Don’t Cry
Emotional, Soft, Weak, Have feelings, Vulnerable,
Cry, Need help, Expressive, Passive …feminine.

The Ladder of Manhood

What do you like or dislike
about identifying as a
specific gender?
white ribbon

Boys
What do you like or not like
about being a boy?

Identity

Growing Up:
Ascent or
Descent
into
Manhood?

OWN HAPPY EXCITED DEPRESSED
OVING TENDER RELIEVED PERKY
RIGHTENED OPTIMISTIC DOWN
YMPATHETIC FASCINATED JOYFU
NXIOUS DEJECTED SOFT LOVING
SENTFUL VITALITY HOPE PATIEN
EERFUL FEAR CONFIDENCE SHAM
APPY PANIC ASTONISHED TRUST
ASHAMED ENVY APPRECIATION
LATION OFFENDED DETERMINED

Men and
Mental
Health

Men with disabilities
Avatar’s
Jake Sully
‘damaged goods’ ‘not beautiful’

What does
‘being a man’
look like
for students
in their school,
in their community?
white ribbon

The Performance
of Masculinity

whiteribbon.ca#WhatMakesAManUTSC @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon

The Greatest Insult

LA Lakers rookies
Tarik Black and
Jordan Clarkson
with fake baby.
(They have to
wear pink
backpacks and
push the strollers
to games all
season)

...are a big part
of the problem.

www.whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon

Power and Privilege

Pretending

Not having power only heightens
masculine insecurities.
If manhood is about power and
control, not being powerful
means you are not a man.
Again, violence becomes a means
to prove otherwise to yourself
and others”
-Michael Kaufman

@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca

superhero zero

…to have and to hold
does not mean
to have and hold down
- Lishai Peel

Women and Girls as rungs

In a hyper
masculine world,
you see people as
tools. Now I see
them as family.
- Terry Crews

Ideas of Gender
enforced by society

“Homophobia and
Transphobia
is
Violence Against
Women”

violence

“It’s an important moment for men
to look at themselves and decide
who they want to be in this world.”
- Hannah Markham

Inspiring male-identified
brothers, fathers, sons,
husbands, co-workers. friends
and romantic partners to
embrace how they can
be a part of change.
White Ribbon is the world’s
largest grassroots effort
engaging men and boys
to redefine masculinity and
help end gender-based
violence.

19911993200020052007+
Growth of the WRC

“Always have a dream
that will last beyond
your lifetime”
Jack Layton
co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign

Wearing a White Ribbon is a
personal pledge to never
commit, condone or remain
silent about violence against
women and girls.

Wearing a white ribbon is a
way of saying, “Our future
has no violence against
women.”

Strength
Based Approach
to Engaging Men

www.whiteribbon.ca
Engaging Boys and Men in
Ending Violence Against
Women – A Life Cycle
Approach
White Ribbon Campaign
University & College Students
Facilitators of WR Clubs
Mentors and role models
WRC campus & community
organizers
Peer educators, engaged
bystanders
High School Students
(grades 9-12)
White Ribbon Clubs
Common Ground Conferences (with Boys &
Girls) Youth Education and Action Kit
Peer & Near Peer Educators
Elementary Students
(grades 7-8)
Boys Conferences
Youth Education and Action Kit
Campaign in a Box
Adults
It Starts With You, Facilitators of WR
Clubs Parents, teachers, mentors,
volunteers, community leaders & role
models WRC community organizers &
supporters Peer educators, engaged
bystanders
The WRC Lifecycle Approach – An Example

The fundamental
question has shifted
from “why” we
should work with
men and boys, to
“how” we work
with men and boys.
www.whiteribbon.ca/issuebrief
whiteribbon.ca

White Ribbon held an Ontario
Men’s Attitudinal Survey on
Violence Against Women

The findings show that 94% of men in
Ontario believe violence against
women and girls is a concern to them

87% think violence against women
and girls affects all women including
the women in their life.

97% agree that they can personally
make a difference in promoting healthy,
respectful, non-violent relationships

Raising our
awareness

Examine
your own
actions,
attitudes
and
behaviour…

Being A Role Model

Peer motivation is a powerful force for men.

February 2010

whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @NSB_Speakerswhiteribbon.ca

Speaking in a
Language of Consent

Consent starts before you
even interact with someone.
It starts internally with
exploring your wants,
motivations and intentions.

Research suggests
that the strongest
influence on men’s
behavior is
other men

Give Love
Get Love:
Involved
Fatherhood

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.
It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy
injustice and inspire change.
It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.
Shifting the culture and climate

But I’m a good guy!

Who do you want to be
in this picture?

Even if we taught
every woman in
the world to
defend
themselves,
why would we
ever accept a
world in which
they have to.
- @ElliottBayev

OPEN THE DOOR TO THE CONVERSATION
Open the door to a continuous ongoing
conversation. Boys have questions and it doesn't
stop growing into adulthood. Open up pathways
for conversation and consciousness

being
assertiveness and
ambitiousness is
not a masculine
trait

love, kindness
and emotional literacy
is not a feminine
trait

let’s work towards a
change that affects us all.

There is help. No one deserves to
live with violence.
Look for emergency or distress
services in the front of your local
phone book

www.whatmakesaman.org

Keep the conversation going.

The Ladder of Manhood and Challenging Harmful Masculinity

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