Here are the highlights of my presentation to Saskatchewan's Economy Ministry. Thanks to everyone in Regina and Saskatoon for their participation.

1. BRIEFING NOTES
ECONOMY MINISTRY

2. Regina
18 January 2017
Saskatoon
24 January 2017

3. WHAT YOU ASKED FOR
• Tailoring a briefing note for the
audience;
• What are they looking for?
• What is useful when it comes to
background information?
• How much is enough, how much
is too much ?
• Refresher on how to organize
information for a briefing note

5. SINCE YOU ASKED…
• We have problems writing clearly and communicating ideas to external and
internal audiences;
• Those problems are a symptom of a much larger issue—lack of training and
appreciation for critical thinking;
• We never imagine what might be useful for people trying to make a decision;
• We are a hierarchical, president driven organization, fearful of change. So
we keep writing the same kind of briefing notes, over and over again;
• Employees need more of our support.

6. APRIL 2016
MESSAGE FROM CABINET
• Documents are too long;
• Documents are often poorly
structured, meaning that we
have to hunt for important
information;
• This wastes time;
• Please share this.

9. WE WRITE TOO
MUCH.

10. WE DON’T WRITE
CLEARLY.

11. OFTEN OUR LENGTHY
PROSE IS POORLY
ORGANIZED.

12. WE ARE NOT HELPING
OUR AUDIENCE OF
DECISION-MAKERS.

13. IT’S TIME TO RADICALLY RE-
IMAGINE HOW WE WRITE IN
GOVERNMENT.
”
“

14. TODAY WE WILL…
• Survey the current state of briefing notes the Government of
Saskatchewan;
• Introduce a performance standard designed to tell you where you are
at;
• Point towards areas of improvement;
• Talk about clear writing, logical organization, a point of view and
concrete examples;
• Talk about anticipating the needs of your audience.

16. THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN WRITING
• Stop talking about us. Start talking about the people we serve.
• Stop talking about our interior, organizational processes. Quite literally,
no one cares.
• Move from the abstract to the concrete.
• Start looking at things through the eyes of the customer
• Sleep in their beds to know their dreams.

17. Why write a briefing note?

18. A briefing note is…
❖ Part of a broader comms strategy;
❖ Part of an issues-management strategy;
❖ A tool for risk mitigation, record-keeping.
❖ A tool to assist in decision-making.

19. Uses
❖ To communicate a message/values/rationale to an
internal or external audience.(CII)
❖ To provide decision-makers with all of the relevant
information needed to make an effective policy decision.
(CDI)
❖ To explain a past decision in the context of current
information and future predictions.
❖ A template for a change process.

20. What should be in a good
briefing note
❖ Public policy (and by extension, briefing notes) must be:
❖ Forward looking-include statistical trends and informed
predictions;
❖ Outward looking- illustrate the factors in play at local, national and
international levels;
❖ Innovative and creative (questioning the established way);
❖ Empirical-using evidence;
❖ Evaluate-contain a systematic assessment of early going, for use
in self-correction.
Source: UK Cabinet Office, 1999

21. Questions to ask, before you start
writing.
❖
❖ 1) Who is the audience? What do they need? What information
would be useful to them? How could I structure this information to
make it most useful?
❖ 2) What is my hypothesis? What evidence exists in support of that
hypothesis? What hidden assumptions must be explored?
❖ 3) What is this note being used for? To help decision-makers arrive
at an informed decision? To justify a decision that has already been
made? To survey the rationale of past decisions and place them in
context?

23. ❖ A short paper that quickly and effectively informs senior
executives about an issue.
❖ Distillation of complex information into a:
❖ short;
❖ well-structured;
❖ document.

24. Characteristics
❖ Short-one or rarely—two pages.
❖ concise: every word used as efficiently as possible.
❖ clear: what matters to the reader, organized effectively.
❖ reliable- accurate, sound, dependable.

25. Structure
❖ Issue: one sentence, why this matters.
❖ Background: A quick history, evolution.
❖ Current status-last decision made.
❖ Key considerations: Players and alternative points of
view. Why we disagree.

26. Templates

29. WHAT’S IN AN
ISSUE
STATEMENT

30. • A brief, one sentence description of the issue that your note is
addressing
• Non-prejudicial, objective statement of the circumstances
• Should clearly state the subject matter
• Must anticipate that any option could be adopted.

31. WHETHER AND
HOW….
Winter: “You should do this!”

32. • Framed to elicit a yes or no response from
cabinet
• Invites them to accept, reject or amend
the proposal being put forward.

33. EXERCISE
ONE

34. Discuss and report
• What’s important in the document ?
• What’s not ?
• What are they really trying to say ?
• How would you fix it ?

35. Report back

36. Lessons learned:
• If you say everything, you say nothing;
• Keep sentences short;
• Structure is important.

37. Data dumps…

38. ..are hard to
structure.

39. No narrative…
no voice…
no story…
no point…
no interest.

40. Readers have to
hunt for useful info.

41. Long, ponderous
sentences
harm clarity.

42. ❖ many issues, most unrelated.
❖ no background or familiarity with most issues.
❖ cannot spend the time doing their own research.
❖ need a capsule version of key points and
considerations.
Your Audience — Decision makers

43. Have Empathy
❖ A good briefing note (CDI, CII, news release, speech)
myst synthesize information in a way that makes it
useful for people making decisions or defending
decisions already made.
❖ Reading your briefing note should not be a chore
❖ People should want to read your document.
❖ People should feel the need to read your document.

44. TEXT ANALYSIS

45. Text analysis
• Why some stories are better than others.

48. two scores
• Flesch-Kincaid Read Ease score (1 - 100)
• North American Grade Level

49. Reading Ease score
Govt. of Sask. briefing note.
Average Score = 30-36

51. NOT-SO-GOOD
SCORE

54. WORD CHOICE
IS CRUCIAL.

56. FOR SASKATCHEWAN’S PUBLIC SERVICE
NEW TARGETS
• A Flesch-Kincaid readability score of 50 or
greater;
• A grade level between 6-8;
• 12 to 15 words per sentence.

57. “IAN, GRADE 6 LEVEL IS
HARD TO ACHIEVE,
WITHOUT DUMBING DOWN
THE CONTENT
”
“

58. MORE THAN 40% OF NORTH
AMERICANS HAVE ONLY
BASIC LITERACY SKILLS.

59. IMPROVE YOUR NOTES THROUGH…
• The use of concrete language;
• The use of superlatives;
• The use of comparison;
• Special attention to narrative
structure;
• Keep sentences short;
• Use a readability index.

60. SAMPLES YOU
SENT ME.

61. Grade Six readability is hard to
achieve, but it’s not “dumbing
down”.

62. SIMPLE IS NOT
EASY,
IT CAN BE ELEGANT.

63. 0
23
45
68
90
B. Obama
M. Obama
H. Clinton
D. Trump
Readability Scores
Major Convention Speeches
July, 2016

64. 0
2
5
7
9
B. Obama
M. Obama
H. Clinton
D. Trump
Grade Level
Major Convention Speeches
July, 2016

65. STRUCTURING
INFORMATION

67. Subordinating Style
• Components linked by relationship of:

68. CAUSALITY
TEMPORALITY
PRECEDENCE

69. CAUSALITY:
ONE THING CAUSES
ANOTHER

70. TEMPORALITY:
ONE THING HAPPENS
BEFORE ANOTHER.

71. PRECEDENCE:
ONE THING IS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN THE
OTHER.

72. Time for a shift
Temporal
Causal
Precedence

75. IS THERE A TOOL THAT
HELPS ME STRUCTURE
INFORMATION?

76. THE POSITIONING
STATEMENT

77. The positioning statement
• Emotional statement;
• Key Message;
• Two Facts;
• Action Statement (demand)

79. POSITIONING
STATEMENT
EXERCISE

80. NEWS RELEASE, 07 JANUARY 2015
SASKATCHEWAN RESEARCH COUNCIL

81. Positioning statement
exercise
• Go back into your groups;
• Use positioning statement to review release;
• What’s this really about ?
• Can it help you make things better?

82. REPORT BACK IN
15 MINUTES

83. THESIS
• Storytelling is the key to getting your message across
• You need a narrative structure for your
• writing
• presentations
• conversations

84. THE HIDDEN AGENDA:
IF YOU’RE NOT TELLING A
STORY…
YOU’RE NOT DOING
ANYTHING.
”
“

85. SUCCESSFUL
POLITICIANS
UNDERSTAND THIS
PERFECTLY.

86. NATIONAL POST
27 SEPT. 2016

89. WE SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN GOVERNMENT
• speaking to people who are not listening
• writing reports that never get read
• failing to engage people.

90. WE SPEND A LOT OF TIME
IN GOVERNMENT…FAILING
TO TELL A STORY.

91. WE SPEND A LOT OF TIME
TALKING TO OURSELVES
ABOUT OURSELVES.

94. “Stories are the most powerful
delivery tool for information.
The best way to unite an idea with an
emotion is by telling a story.”

100. — Alex Frankel, Guardian,
27 November 2016
YOUR POLICY IS ONLY AS
GOOD AS THE NARRATIVE
OR PUBLIC DISCOURSE YOU
HAVE HUNG IT ON.
”
“

101. Nancy Duarte—Resonate.
• Every story needs a big idea;
• A unique point of view, rather than generalizations;
• Convey what’s at stake;
• Make people care about your perspective.
pg. 78

102. Point of view versus topic
• Governments write about topics;
• People write with a point-of-view;
• One builds a story, one doesn’t

103. The fate of the oceans is
a topic.
Climate change is killing
sea otters expresses a
point of view.

104. — Nancy Duarte, Resonate.
YOU CAN HAVE PILES OF
FACTS AND STILL FAIL TO
RESONATE.
”
“

105. —Resonate, Pg. 14
USE PLENTY OF FACTS, BUT
ACCOMPANY THEM WITH
EMOTIONAL APPEAL.
”
“

106. • Information drives action
• Action has to be explained
• The end result of a decision, inevitably, is the exercise of power.
• The end result of that intersection is story.

107. WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR
NOT, THE GOAL OF YOUR
STORY IS TO EVOKE A
RESPONSE.
”
“

108. “I’ve learned that people will forget
what you said…
…people will forget what you did.

109. …but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

110. How do you feel after reading most government documents ?

111. THE USE OF
NUMBERS IN
STORIES

112. NUMBERS NEED CONTEXT
STORIES SOMETIMES NEED NUMBERS
• Always
• be
• comparing

113. THIS IS A NUMBER

114. THIS IS A
STORY.

115. The US Federal Air Marshal Service spend $800 million annually.

116. That $800 million
represents
• 40% of what the US Secret Service spends;
• 10% of what the FBI spends annually.

117. Know the difference
between numbers and
stories.

118. • Only 5% of US flights have an Air Marshal;
• Since 9/11, there have been no hijackings;
• There have been more arrests of Air Marshals
• than by Air Marshals since 9/11.
Here’s some other
stories…

119. From the abstract to the concrete.

120. The whole tendency of modern prose
is away from concreteness.
George Orwell
Politics and the English Language
1946

122. Concrete narratives use
superlatives to move
the story along.

123. fastest, newest, oldest,
strongest,
first-ever.

127. use of metaphor
make writing concrete

131. Why this worked..
• Clearly written, concrete language;
• Well organized;
• Articulates a point of view, with consequences;
• A simple, defining metaphor (car).

132. VERNACULAR
ELOQUENCE

134. “If we read every sentence aloud carefully…and
if we then fiddle and adjust our words until they
feel right in the mouth and sound right in the
ear, the resulting sentence will be strong and
clear.”
–Prof. Peter Elbow

135. Questions
• Do you write multiple drafts ?
• Do you read them out loud to someone else ?

136. Read this section out loud.

137. Read this section out loud.

138. “If we read every sentence aloud carefully…and
if we then fiddle and adjust our words until they
feel right in the mouth and sound right in the
ear, the resulting sentence will be strong and
clear.”

139. PARTING
THOUGHTS.

140. In your
documents/presentations
….
• convey a big idea;
• covey what’s at stake;
• Convince me I should care.

141. Exhibit a clarity of intent
• What problem am I trying to solve;
• What does ‘good’ look like;
• How will I know when I get there ?

142. Rejected opportunity cost
• What happens if I do nothing ?

143. An audience transformed
• The highest goal;
• Now that I’ve read this, I know this;
• Now, I have to do something.

144. A
PRESENTATION
TEMPLATE.

145. We had a big idea
• It’s important because—
• This idea came from—
• We talked to these people, and they said—

146. Here’s how our big idea
changed
• We were surprised to discover—
• New information created these new insights—
• Here’s why these insights are valuable—

147. The value proposition
• Our big idea will improve a process/save money/
• make life better for people in the following ways—

148. Rejected opportunity cost
• If we do nothing, here are the consequences—
• Here’s what they are doing on other jurisdictions—

149. Now that you now all this
• You must—

150. questions