Pleased To Brief You
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A presentation to the Strategic Management Branch, Saskatchewan Ministry of Social Services on effective briefing notes. This presentation was delivered on 26 October 2016
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Pleased To Brief You
- 3. I can’t solve all your problems.
- 4. I can point you in the right direction.
- 5. Important tools • Positioning statement; • Fletch-Kincaid readability score; • Vernacular eloquence review.
- 6. It’s time to radically re-imagine how we write.
- 7. A special emphasis on audience needs.
- 8. A special emphasis on brevity and clarity.
- 9. A special emphasis on logical structure.
- 10. We are writers in a hurry.
- 11. “THE COMPLETI ON OF TWO PERFECT SENTENCE S IS A FULL James Joyc
- 13. Our Problems
- 14. We write too much… and we don’t write clearly.
- 15. Our sentences are too long.
- 16. Our language and style alienates and disenfranchises.
- 18. We fail to imagine what our audience needs.
- 19. Implications
- 21. No one wants to read what we write.
- 22. No one needs to read what we write.
- 23. We don’t have a point of view.
- 24. We don’t present a range of options.
- 25. We don’t explain the implications of various options.
- 26. People don’t need to grapple with our point of view.
- 27. People don’t value our input.
- 28. We’re not articulating a strategy.
- 30. We’re not doing our job.
- 31. We write too much because no one tells us to stop.
- 32. Please stop.
- 33. We don’t know what people want… so we give them everything.
- 34. We’re trying to protect ourselves.
- 35. We think no one is reading what we write.
- 36. We don’t talk about the value of clarity and power.
- 37. No narrative… no voice… no story… no point… no interest.
- 38. Exercise One.
- 39. Discuss and report • What’s important in the document ? • What’s not ? • What are they really trying to say ? • How would you fix it ?
- 40. Report back
- 41. Lessons learned: • If you say everything, you say nothing; • Keep sentences short; • Structure is important.
- 42. Data dumps…
- 44. No narrative… no voice… no story… no point… no interest.
- 45. Readers have to hunt for useful info.
- 48. When structuring a document, apply critical thinking.
- 50. 1) What problem are we trying to solve ?
- 51. 2) What does “good” look like ?
- 52. 3) How will we know when we get there ?
- 53. Audience needs.
- 55. Our audience is looking for more information.
- 56. Our audience wants to make a decision.
- 58. Be clear; Be well-organized; Be brief; Be informative.
- 59. Robert D. Behn Kennedy School of Government.
- 60. “EFFECTIVE POLICY WRITING IS CONVINCING BECAUSE OF THE COHERENCE OF ITS UNDERLYING LOGIC-AND BECAUSE OF THE CLARITY OF ITS PRESENTATION OF THAT LOGIC.” Robert Behn, 2012
- 61. No writer can save poor thinking.
- 62. Bad writing can sabotage good thinking.
- 64. Discuss and report • What problem are we trying to solve ? • What does good look like ? • How will we know when we get there ?
- 65. Report back.
- 66. Tools
- 67. Measuring text
- 69. Govt. of Sask. briefing note. Average Score = 30-36
- 70. Good score
- 71. Bad score
- 74. Aim for: • A score of 50 or better; • 10 - 15 words per sentence; • Grade level between 6 - 8.
- 75. Grade Six readability is hard to achieve, but it’s not “dumbing down”.
- 76. 0 22.5 45 67.5 90 B. Obama M. Obama H. Clinton D. Trump Readability Scores Major Convention Speeches July, 2016
- 77. 0 2.25 4.5 6.75 9 B. Obama M. Obama H. Clinton D. Trump Grade Level Major Convention Speeches July, 2016
- 78. Text Analysis of recent govt. writing.
- 80. the march of the long sentences
- 81. 12 -15 words per sentence
- 82. Reading Ease score: 50 or better.
- 83. Readability grade level 6 to 8
- 89. Qualities • Simplicity • stripped down to core • masters of exclusion, relentless ordering of priorities • proverbs: simple profound, revealing a higher truth. • Concreteness • explained in terms of human actions • Include sensory information • concrete images, language • strengthen, synergy, strategy
- 90. Emotion • This is our past • This is how we imagine the future.... • Steer clear of abstract, analytical pitches. • I have a student.... • I have a daughter....
- 91. • The Simple Positioning Statement • An emotional statement (this is mostly about feelings) • Key Message • Two Facts • Action Statement (Demand)
- 92. A (hypothetical) positioning statement for a (hypothetical) university. • Empathy: Your children should be educated close to home. • Key Message: Support for PSE must increase. • Two Facts: • 1) 70% of the new jobs created in Canada in the next decade will require post secondary education. • 2) Our graduates earn $27,600 more per year than those with diplomas below the bachelor’s level, translating into an extra $1.1 million over their lifetime. • Action Statement: Give us more money.
- 94. Using Readability Scores to improve writing.
- 95. Sasktel 2014 Annual Report. • Pg. 6 • Let’s re-write it.
- 98. 20 minutes • Can you do better ?
- 99. Let’s see how you did
- 100. vernacular eloquence
- 102. “If we read every sentence aloud carefully…and if we then fiddle and adjust our words until they feel right in the mouth and sound right in the ear, the resulting sentence will be strong and clear.” –Prof. Peter Elbow
- 103. Questions • Do you write multiple drafts ? • Do you read them out loud to someone else ?
- 104. Parting thoughts
- 105. In your documents/presentations …. • convey a big idea; • covey what’s at stake; • Convince me I should care.
- 106. Exhibit a clarity of intent • What problem am I trying to solve; • What does ‘good’ look like; • How will I know when I get there ?
- 107. Rejected opportunity cost • What happens if I do nothing ?
- 108. An audience transformed • The highest goal; • Now that I’ve read this, I know this; • Now, I have to do something.
- 110. We had a big idea • It’s important because— • This idea came from— • We talked to these people, and they said—
- 111. Here’s how our big idea changed • We were surprised to discover— • New information created these new insights— • Here’s why these insights are valuable—
- 112. The value proposition • Our big idea will improve a process/save money/ • make life better for people in the following ways—
- 113. Rejected opportunity cost • If we do nothing, here are the consequences— • Here’s what they are doing on other jurisdictions—
- 114. No that you now all this • You must—
- 115. questions