This document outlines seven ways to drive yourself crazy by misunderstanding and misusing differences in thinking styles, called "metaprograms".
1. Believe that your own thinking style is superior and label others negatively.
2. Focus only on what is wrong or bad in a detailed way in others' thinking.
3. Continue using your thinking style even when it is not effective.
4. Use derogatory words to describe others' thinking styles.
5. Try to motivate others without understanding their different thinking style.
6. Explain at length what is wrong with others' thinking styles.
7. Only interact with those who think exactly like you.
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> Activities that can help you develop as a thought leader in your own skill expertise
> Hands-on coaching and networking exchange activity within small groups: Practice the skills we discuss and network with your agile community.
> Laughter
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2. Seven Proven Ways to
Drive Yourself Crazy
with Metaprograms
By Jaap Hollander
www.mindsonar.info
3. Goofing up communication
has never been easier
Most people are pretty good, already, at crashing
relationships and messing up communication. But
now you can do better! Different people have
different thinking styles (different metaprograms).
And therein lie some wonderful opportunities for
irritation, misunderstanding, anger, frustration,
conflict, despair and so on.
Let’s have a look at seven of the most effective
and time-tested ways to get frustrated through
thinking styles. Seven proven ways to drive
yourself crazy with metaprograms….
Enjoy!
4. What are metaprograms?
Metaprograms are elements of your
thinking style, things like ‘towards’ (focus
on goals) versus ‘away from’ (focus on
problems).
Your thinking style is a combination of
metaprograms: different metaprograms
working together. Your metaprograms often
determine what you do and how you feel
about things.
To know more about metaprograms,
visit
www.mindsonar.info
5. 1
Be convinced that people with different thinking
styles suck
Let’s start with one of the most effective ways to get
frustrated: believe that your own thinking style is the best style
in the world. If not to say the only style. So for instance let’s
say you think in terms of the future and you like options. You
could then simply call anyone who
thinks in terms of the past and procedures an ‘old-fashioned
coward’.
This is a great technique, because it
guarantees that you will automatically
meet old-fashioned cowards
everywhere.
Principle: My metaprograms are
the only sane metaprograms.
6. 2
Mismatch proactively and in great detail
‘Mismatching’ means that you focus on what’s bad or wrong. Its
counterpart is ‘matching’: looking for what is right and good. If
you mismatch proactively, that means that you do it without
thinking about it much. And if you mismatch on all the details, you
have a huge number of things you can find fault with. Everywhere
you go, you will notice lots of things that are bad or wrong or
incorrect.
Especially when you are an emotional
person, this can be a perfect
self-despairing technique.
Principle: Use ‘mismatching’,
‘proactive’ and ‘specific’ in
combination with eachother.
7. 3
If it doesn’t work, do it some more
Your thinking style is great for some things and not so great for
other things. It may be great for designing buildings but not for
playing with children. That’s why some people are flexible in how
they think.
So here is another great frustration
booster: if your thinking style is not
working, do it some more! For instance,
if you feel strongly responsible for things
and you are exhausted, do it some more of
that: start taking even more responsibility.
Principle: Stick with your metaprograms
no matter what.
8. 4
Find derogative words for other thinking styles
If you are a practical thinker, you like to ask: How can we use
this? And if you work or live with someone who is more of
theoreticalthinker, they like to ask: What is the
essence? Now watch out! You might
be tempted to appreciate them for
their different thinking style. Don’t!
Instead, call them ‘cerebral’ or
‘vague’ or ‘pedantic’.
Finding derogative words for their thinking
style works great as a relationship
destroyer!
Principle: People with other
metaprograms are dumb, ugly and
[fill in negative qualification here].
9. 5
Try to motivate people without understanding them
Sometimes you want to suggest to people what would be a good
thing to do. And their thinking style usually differs from yours. And
this provides yet another great opportunity for self-frustration!
Lets say, for instance, that you think in terms of goals you want to
achieve, and they think in terms of problems they want to avoid.
So you vividly describe the things
they can achieve with your plans.
And they respond with a blank
stare. An awesome self-insaniating
technique!
Principle: Everybody has the same
metaprograms I have.
10. 6
Explain to people what is wrong with them
You have probably had a friend, a co-worker, a family member
start complaining to you about you. You were going after the
wrong things, you didn’t treat them right, and so on. Remember:
if they can do that to you, you can do it to them!
For instance, if you are focused on the future and they are
focused on the past, explain to them – at great length – how
much better it would be if they focussed on the future more. Just
like you do.
And if they protest? That’s just
because they aren’t thinking
right, right?
Principle: Explain to others how
they use the wrong metaprograms.
11. Surround yourself with people who think just like
you 7
This last technique can defeat not only individuals, but whole
nations! And yet it is easy to do. Just select people who have
your thinking style. And then simply refuse to talk
to anyone else. Do you think in terms of goals?
Avoid problem oriented thinkers, they just slow
you down. Do you focus on feelings? Avoid anyone
who focuses on pictures or stories, they just
confuse things anyway. And so on.
And the beauty of it is: you can use all of the
other techniques to support this one!
Principle: Only hang with people who
have your exact same metaprograms.
.