This document provides an 8-step guide to determining what you want in life and how to achieve your goals. It discusses techniques like using envy as motivation, finding patterns in your interests to identify desires, and emulating successful people. It emphasizes having passion and letting others see how helping you benefits them. Unconventional approaches like bold requests and clever strategies are also recommended over conventional advice that may stall progress.

1. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

2. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It How to determine what you want in life: Is there something you want right now in a really bad way - a new job or a promotion; a house; to lose weight; or move to the city of your dreams? You have a vague restlessness or sense of longing but you’re not sure what for. Getting what you want is a skill you can learn. Getting what you want is a matter of believing that you deserve a better life How do you go about getting it? You can have talent and skill but not land the prize because you go about it the wrong way. This is an 8-step practical guide to realizing what you truly want in life. You can learn the secrets from people who are good at getting what they want - Don’t just admire positive traits in other people, emulate them - Learn how to set goals and realize your dreams - Smart how-to advice: motivation, inspiration, and information

3. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It Instead of just admiring smart, capable people, emulate (imitate) them to get what you want. For example, if you want to take fabulous vacations every year, you don’t have be rich, you just have to imitate how the rich use their financial skills. It’s simple, really! Put x amount of travel funds into a savings account or CD that you don’t touch until you’ve accumulated enough to take that dream vacation (a safari in Kenya, exploring the Mayan ruins, or a stay at the Ritz in Paris). It’s all achievable - if you are willing to sacrifice that daily cup of Starbucks - or dinner out more than once a week. Put away that money towards something you really want. It’s not just fabulous vacations - people who get everything they want in life go after it - they don’t wait around for it to miraculously appear at their doorstep. They have success and the things they want because they worked to create it. If you want things to turn out a certain way, you have to make them turn out that way with a bit of sacrifice and hard work.

4. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It People who get what they want operate with a sense of percentages. There’s about 15% of life you have no power over, but the other 85% of life you do have power over. Always start with the attitude that you are at least going to try! People who are successful are sure of what they want. That certainty will give you the strength and determination to go after your dreams. Some of us grow up with a very specific passion (a desire to be an artist or a musician, or to climb the highest mountains) bur for many of us there is no clear, precise goal. We feel passion but it has a hazy outline and we’re not sure where to go with it. People who get what they want are good at knowing what they want. Don’t be ashamed to let yourself feel envy, rather than suppress or deny it, do something great with it. Let it motivate you! Envy is not a good place to end but it can be a great place to start. So let’s talk about the strategies of people who get what they want!

5. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It Learn to use the following methods to your best advantage: How to use envy to help you know what it is you want Envy can point you directly to what you want the most Dig down and find the yearning underneath Expose the desire that hasn’t been recognized or nurtured Now, write down the name of someone you envy. What is it about the other person’s achievement, new job, or new house that you really desire? You may find that you want only one part of it. Write in one sentence what it is you are really envying. What four words sum up that ‘thing’ best Of those four words, which appeals to you the most? Use envy as a ‘kick in the butt’ to identify a dream or a goal you want Be willing to improvise if things turn out differently than you expected.

6. If you’re still unsure of what you want, get out into the world and search until you find it. For example, take classes, read books, travel, or eat lunch with people outside your usual group. Work toward opportunities Then when they present themselves - decide to take or not take them based on whether you can live with yourself if you didn’t at least try. You aren’t necessarily born knowing what you want, you may have to go out and find it. Here are six suggestions for finding what you want out of life: Take a class in something that has the power to move you Talk to three people who have succeeded in your areas of interest Explore the topic on the web Get an exploratory interview with someone who knows something about your topic of interest. Write in a journal (stream of consciousness-style) starting with what you think you want – let your words take you to your heart’s desire. Talk into a tape recorder about what you think you want and really listen to it – your soul is telling you what you really want. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

7. Here are nine offbeat or unusual strategies for finding what you want out of life: 1. Go to lunch with a good or casual friend (not your best friend and not someone you work with) and ask: ”If you could picture me doing something with my life that would make me really happy, what would it be?” 2. Take a long walk by yourself and think about the 3 times in your life when you were truly excited – jot them down as soon as you get home. 3. Plan a dinner party with a few people you know well and several more that you don’t know well – ask questions about their lives, their successes, and what they want to do next. 4. A void talking about yourself over a period of several weeks – but ask others lots of questions about themselves and their hopes and dreams. 5. Keep a journal by your bed - write down what you enjoyed most about that day 6. Make a list of three of your happiest vacations – what do they have in common? Write down the 3 things you are best at – what really makes your heart sing? Create a profile of someone with those 3 skills or talents. What do they do for a living? What are their leisure activities? What type of people do they enjoy being with? 8. Jot down 4 or 5 things people compliment you on the most. 9. List 3 times in the last year when you did something that made you feel supremely satisfied. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

8. Now figure out what all that information is trying to tell you. Step back and see if you recognize a pattern in the things you enjoy and use that to find out what you want in life. Do you have to be a pit bull, a prima donna, or a snake to get what you want? The good news is, you don’t need to come even remotely close to those character traits to get what you want – but you will use a few of the tactics. Remember, you can’t get what you want all the time There’s a difference between getting what you want and getting what you want and enjoying it Getting what you want will probably involve some trade-offs (big and little) As you get more and more of what you want, it will irritate some people – that’s just a fact of life. You’ll have to learn to have a thick skin. Before you can get the things you want, you must first know exactly what they are (the earlier exercises should help you figure out just what they are) Four signs you’re onto something: You can’t stop thinking about it You can’t fall asleep when you’re thinking about it You want to talk to people about it but don’t - because you’re afraid someone will steal it You feel an urge to date it 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

9. Ask for advice but be very careful You should never ask advice from: People who don’t really know you People who know you but aren’t truly supportive Colleagues at work Relatives who have a preconceived notion of who you are or what you need Friends who have a stake in keeping you right where you are Anyone with an ax to grind Anyone who will condone your attempts to stall, postpone, or not even try Three indicators of someone who deserves to be an advisor: They happily conduct a Q & A session with you asking questions that draw you out and help you see your real motives and concerns They do not constantly reference back everything you say to their experience They give you their opinion only after careful consideration 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

10. Sometimes you may have to jump before you’re completely ready – spend less time thinking about the perfect approach and more time just doing it. You can have a plan - just remember you have to remain flexible with that plan – it should be a work-in-progress. Don’t get caught up in mapping out intricate strategies. Instead start in the middle rather than at the beginning. Keep your eyes open for unexpected opportunities and then ‘pounce’ – never wait for ‘ the right moment ’ or you’ll probably never get started. Four Principles of Successful Pouncing Calculate the all-it-takes factor (in other words – what effort is required from you to achieve your goal.) Find Waldo – do your research - know what calls you must make - find out the person ( Waldo ) you need to see who holds the ‘ golden key’ for you. Seize the moment – if there is a great opportunity, grab it and worry later whether you seemed pushy, inappropriate, or overly eager. Discover your inner movie star – to get what you want, you have to feel you deserve it. Three ways to get your butt in gear: Jump into the middle – sometimes you need to skip step one and move to step three . (Ex: Instead of redoing your resume right now, meet with someone who has an inside edge for a job.) Take a road test . Test-drive your idea before fully committing to it (Ex: do it part-time) Create a deadline you can’t miss (or allow someone else to create it) , this will force you to get things done. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

11. Six Rules You Must Ignore Get the right training – You need specialized training for some things but there are plenty for which you don’t. Don’t let that stop you from reaching your goal! Start at the bottom – Sometimes you must start at the bottom, but not always. Look for doors and shortcuts that will allow you entry several levels up. Speak to the right person – instead seek out the best person. The best person is the one who can give you information that you seek or help you meet a need because they have both knowledge and power . Pay your dues – do anything possible to escape someone else’s timetable for your success. Strike when the iron’s hot – It may be much better to strike when the iron’s just heating up . Cool your jets – Some people love to slow down your speed. Before you take anyone’s advice to ‘just wait and see,’ always ask yourself, “What am I waiting for” 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

12. Wear your heart on your sleeve – instead of coolly considering your options. If you want something bad enough, you need to show it. You don’t need to seem desperate, but you do need to let the right person know how much you want something. If you ask for something in the right way, the other person generally finds it impressive, even if they aren’t prepared to give you everything you want. Revealing your passion rather than concealing it is the best way to win the big prize. You can appear as cool as a cucumber in public, but when you meet with the person who has the power to give you what you want, don’t hold back. Be exuberant - be a hot tamale! Here are 4 reasons why being a hot tamale won’t get you burned: By being passionate, you demonstrate with certainty what it is you need By being passionate, you give the other person the impression that there might be something in it for them. By being passionate, you encourage the other person to connect with you personally. That connection can make them feel loyal to you and invested in you. By being passionate, you make the other person long to be around you. Being in the same room with lots of passion can be contagious. When you show excitement, you end up giving people an energy transfer. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

13. 9 things you shouldn’t hesitate to do when you are hot for something: Send a handwritten note expressing your desire on the best note card stock available. Write a formal but very individualized cover letter describing how strongly you feel about what it is you want. Use expressions like: ‘This is fantastic’ – ‘I’ve never been so excited’ – ‘I’ve never wanted anything so much’ Call the person – even if it’s really, really hard to do. Ask someone you know to make an introduction, even if you dread asking them to do it. Dress to the nines for any kind of meeting or get-together. Introduce yourself to total strangers at a party or at an event – it can change your life! Pull an all-nighter to get done anything that needs to be done. Do something on very short notice. Buy someone a great meal – to impress, call the maitre d’ at the restaurant where your meal will be and explain how important the event is and that he should take great care of you and your guest ( tip well ) 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

14. The secret to getting people to give you what you want: You must determine what the TPB ( Their Personal Bonus ) or WIIFM will be for the person who has something you want. You must enable the other person to see how they will benefit when they’ve given you what you want. If you don’t do this, then your request is ‘ all about you ’ and your chance of success will be extremely low. How do you determine TBP? Consider what the other person is going through, what pressure they’re under, what needs they may have. Your offer has to be viewed as valuable to them and that they’ll experience regret if they pass it up. The little trick that works in stubborn cases: Create a sense of urgency and importance. Make the other person feel important for saying yes. It may be necessary to offer proof ( backup ) as to why the person would be making a good choice – it can be numbers, research, or a presentation – but it must add up, look good, and make sense. Keep it short but sweet and never apologize about your backup – simply say you’ll get back with whatever other information is needed. When it’s time to undersell: In some instances, exuberance isn’t appropriate or can offend the person you’re talking to. Keep your cool with the following people - let them see your passion in what you do: Bankers, lenders, and other kinds of moneylenders tend to anxious and may mistake your passion for recklessness Corporate lawyers HR personnel in stodgy companies Groups of people who view you as an outsider 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

15. Be too big for your britches Sometimes a simple request will just not work and the situation calls for something big and bold. What do you do? Sometimes you have to try something unexpected, bold, or over the top . Ignore those people who may claim you are overstepping your bounds. You have to be willing to think about things in a different way – use courage and energy – take chances – bypass the rules. You have to be clever – being clever simply calls for ingenuity and imagination. What it does not mean is being deceptive. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

16. 11 Ways to come up with smart, clever, and bold ways to get what you want: Make a ‘kitchen sink’ list – write down every possible approach that will lead you to your goal – brainstorm with a friend. Once you have your list, spend time reviewing each strategy. Pretend that each strategy is the one you must use. How would it work? How could you pull it off? Relax – get away from the effort altogether – give your subconscious a chance to work. Look up – just outside your range of vision may be something you can work with. Take a little success and make it bigger – sometimes an idea can be expanded and put to much better use. Pretend you’re a celebrity – experiment being someone else. If a celebrity were going after what you want - how would they do it? Hijack a great idea. In some cases, the best thing you can do is recognize how someone else is pulling off the thing that you want and then just copy them. Find the back door. Is there a way to get the same result by going down a different road or in a different door? Ask yourself what would happen if you did the exact opposite of what was expected? You may want to use a ‘bold, not the way it’s usually done’ approach. Remove any restrictions and see what happens. Turn around a rule and think creatively. Sometimes you have to break or change the rules! 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

17. Never mind your own business - be a snoop – keep your eyes peeled for anything that can help you Show up early – getting there early allows you to see the lay of the land, a chance to relax before everything starts, or to talk to people you might not have a chance to chat with later. Watch how people sit – people who know something you need to know often give it away through their body language. Listen between the lines – people often tell you what they want you to know in indirect ways without framing the information as important – so pay attention. Learn to be a great listener! Connect the dots – file information away for later use. You may be able to connect the information back to something important you saw or heard earlier. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

18. Why you should talk to absolutely everybody. People you meet may have information you need or point you in the direction of other people who do. The perfect way to talk to people: Be a sweet-talker no matter how much that runs against the grain of what you’ve heard. No one likes to be barked at or bossed around. Be devastatingly charming Be charming because you really mean it Be charming to everyone Ask them about themselves – people love to know that you’re interested Flatter them, better yet, ask their opinion Be upfront about needing a name, a tip, or a piece of advice. Cast the other person in the role of a ‘ mini-mentor ’ 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

19. How to work a room: Walk into the room, size up who’s there and who you need to talk to Ask your host/hostess to introduce you to their 4 favorite people in the room Try not to monopolize anyone’s time too long – everyone is there to network! When you move on, hand out your business card to each person you’ve spoken to Do some prior research on a guest you know will be attending and ask their opinion on something going on in their industry How to find out bad information about yourself or a situation: Never pressure people into telling you lots of specific information Try to give them multiple choice questions Once you get the information, do not react – simply nod and say ‘Thank You’ – if you react, the person will shutdown the flow of facts that you need 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

20. Tips on how to listen for what you really need to know: Do your homework – start with the right questions – find the thing that’s different and worth asking about Form as many of your questions as possible from what the person just said rather than from what is in your head – this shows you are actively listening When the person has finished answering a question, don’t say anything. Don’t try to fill the vacuum – the person may continue to elaborate or reveal an unexpected truth How not to appear like a ‘brownnoser’ or ‘buttinsky’: Be up front about a favor – ‘I’m calling to ask a favor’ or ‘I could really use your help’ Read the signs: do they seem less than eager to talk to you? Then it’s time to back off Always write a thank-you note to someone who has given you information or advice – even if it wasn’t worth much Whenever possible, find a way to give the person credit for the favor or help If at all possible, make them glad they did it 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

21. Keep your elbows on the table In order to get what you want you sometimes have to do things that you’ve been told in the past aren’t things nice people do. You have to have the ability to put yourself out there, to put yourself in front, and sometimes you even have to be a little pushy. Here are some strategies to help you get what you want – to give you that little extra something to help secure what you’re after: Be a show-off – sometimes it’s just by simply showing up. Go to places where your presence will remind people who matter that you’re in the mix . Be a blabbermouth – make a list of all the people who should hear about your latest projects or triumphs – because they’ll be sure to spread the word. Don’t use it just to toot your own horn – use the list to congratulate other people on their accomplishments. Be slick – ideas and projects need slick packaging – make them appear hot and in demand if you want to get them noticed. Make something sound better than it is – take a slightly negative thing and turn it around to make it seem positive. Cut in line – sometimes what looks like a line - isn’t 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

22. Act like you know more than you do: Accelerate your learning curve by getting others to give you the information you need. Tell them you’d like their thoughts and evaluations: Buy yourself time - offer to get back to them with requested information after the meeting. Get them talking – try redirecting a question for others to answer. Tell a white lie – this may be more of a stretch – just be sure it’s harmless . Value style over substance – it’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed – create a signature look for yourself - people will just give you more respect. Be an ambulance chaser – be on the prowl for opportunities and don’t be afraid to give chase – look for opportunity everywhere – even in disaster. Play hardball when it’s really necessary - act tough, make your demand, hint at the possible consequences and hope you scare the other person into giving you your way – but be prepared to ‘take your toys and go home’ if they won’t budge. Just make sure playing hardball is not going to backfire on you. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

23. Don’t sit tight – motion begets motion. To get what you want you must keep moving - generating action and new opportunities . What to do when things are stinky: When they’re leaving you hanging: Give it a few more days. Their lack of response may have nothing to do with you – sometimes life gets in the way. Try nudging: Don’t sound annoyed. Tell them you’d appreciate it if you could hear back by such and such a date. Ask yourself if you’ve made yourself or your idea as compelling and irresistible as possible: They may not be wild about you or your idea. It may not be too late – you may still have a chance to modify what you’ve presented. Sometimes you need to go back with a new or improved idea. Move on: Sometimes they’re just not excited about you or your idea and never will be. Trust your instinct! If you get the sense that you’re getting the runaround, go to the next best person on your list! 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

24. When they flat out say no: Hearing the word ‘ no ’ shouldn’t stop you from getting what you want – it should energize you to go after it. Don’t see ‘no’ as the end of the world - it’s information and ammunition... and it’s always better than being left wondering. Here are 2 ways to use ‘no’ to your advantage: Try again, using what you’ve just found out – always try to find the reason for the ‘no’ Move on to person #2 or person #7 or person #100 – know that you only need 1 person to say ‘ yes ’ 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

25. When you don’t like what they say: Sometimes the answer isn’t ‘ no ’ - but it’s not an answer you like. Question everything and research other possible answers. What to do when everything’s going your way: 1. Take care of unfinished business - send thank you notes to everyone who helped you. Then do whatever you can to build on your success. Make them think they’re brilliant for picking you or saying yes to your idea. Figure out the next thing you must be an expert at and do it. Become a guru – take advantage of opportunities to perpetuate the idea of yourself as the know-it-all in your profession or your idea. 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

26. Rest on your laurels Lots of things can get in the way of you savoring your ‘cake’: You get what you want - but now life seems ‘anticlimactic’ You reach your goal - but you feel pressure to get on to the next one Just as you’re trying to enjoy your victory - there’s a backlash or a downside you weren’t expecting Sometimes you can get blinded by the imposter syndrome. ‘How could they have given me this job? Why did they buy into my idea?’ 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It

27. Here are some ways you can enjoy your success: Reward yourself Savor - really savor your accomplishment When someone congratulates you, just say ‘Thank You’ - Don’t make excuses about why you’ve achieved your success Allow for buyer’s remorse - ride out those feelings instead of immediate addressing them – if after three months, they’re still there, then you may need to reassess Consider the fringe benefits – they might compensate you for ‘ it isn’t as good as I’d hoped it would be’ thoughts Get rid of friends who refuse to let you enjoy your triumphs Draw your line in the sand – write down / stick to those things that you will or will not do Don’t let work expand to fill hours you’ve allotted as personal time Avoid multitasking all the time – remember to stop and smell the roses! 8-Step Practical Guide to Realizing What You Want in Life and How to Get It