DNC TIMES - August - 2016

relationships in the aforementioned context. The writers
have tried to bring out various thoughts on the meaning
and value of relations, skills in relationship and tips for
effective friendship, sacrifices required in the
relationship, challenges levelled by the cyber world,
distinction between the real and virtual friendship etc.
This issue also contains an interview with Archbishop
Emeritus Stany Fernandes, SJ (Archdiocese of
Gandhinagar) who expresses his worries about the
growing 'temporality' in
relationships in the context
of increasing annulments in
the church. A very inspiring
article is penned by Fr
Joseph Kalathil, a Jesuit of
Jemshedpur Province who
initiated the 'Peace Mission'
a m o n g t h e I n d o - P a k
relations. Through his lived
experiences and innovations he proves that there are
possibilities for the inculcation and maintenance of
peace and harmony even between two hostile
neighbours. 'Hurdles and barriers would stand apart and
mountains shall become like valleys before a heart with
anindomitablewilltolove.'
Relationship is like nectar in flowers. We need to
collect it like the honey bees and store it in the hives of
our hearts. And once we begin to pour out the sweat of
our painstaking efforts and the blood of self-sacrifice
over it, we shall begin to witness the miracle of nectar
turning to the most cherished honey. This is the
wonderful phenomenon of relationship.We are so glad to
present before you this issue of DNC Times with the
fragrance of relationship. Wish you a fruitful reading
aheadwithanorientationforlife.
nd
(Shijo is a 2 Yr Theologian at JDV)
The quality of your life is the quality of your
relationships.” - Anthony Robbins
All finer religious and philosophical thoughts
emphasize on the cosmic interrelatedness. Even in the
world of science, the quantum facts like, 'phase
entanglement,' 'Bootstrap hypothesis' etc point out to the
reality as an undivided unity. Reality is glorified as a
unity. Still, when every grain of sand, every blade of
grass, every drop of water
and every cell of the body
manifests the cosmic
interconnectedness, the
paradox of disharmony in
the world raises a big
question before us. The book
of Genesis glorifies humans
as “the Crown of Creation.”
Indeed it is not a rank, but a
responsibility – the responsibility to remain as a bridge
and thus to hold the entire created reality in unity in spite
of the diversities. This may stand as one of the reasons
behind humans being uniquely gifted with 'reason' and
'freedom.' But, the same gifts are used for destruction and
division rather than unification. Joseph F. Newton Men
rightly observes, “People are lonely because they build
walls instead of bridges.” The gruesome cruelty
unleashed by humans towards their fellow human beings
is unfathomable. Evanescence overpowers even the
closest relations. The unbridled escalation in divorces,
conflicts, atrocities, molestations, murder, unnatural
relations etc, reveal the distorted image of relationship
among the present generation.There is indeed something
missing in our relationships.The signs of the time urge us
tofindandfixthem.
Therefore, this issue on the theme,
'Relationship,' focuses on the various aspects of
02 AuGust 2016AuGust 2016AuGust 2016
EditorialEditorialEditorial
Shijo Kochupurakal CST

strength for all. It is never too late to begin the process of
improving relationships, even if they are already of good
quality. Whether it is between individuals, an individual
in a group or between groups, here are some ways by
whichrelationshipscanbestrengthened
Learning from experiences: Healthy families teach by
example and learn through experience as they explain
and execute their values; they show and talk about their
appreciation for one another. Love is one important
value. Along with the need for love, another important
human need is the need for appreciation. Each family
member's self-esteem is enhanced when he or she feels
appreciated.Appreciation helps motivate all members to
continue to behave positively towards one another.
Another value is to view stress or crisis as an opportunity
to grow and learn. Family members unite and pull one
another together when things get tough. No individual
within the family has to bear the total responsibility for
resolving the situation. By sharing the responsibility,
every family member can focus on the things he or she
candotohelpsolveproblems.
Commitment and Loyalty: It is important to have a
sense of loyalty and devotion toward each other and to
stand by each other during times of trouble. In times of
personal success or defeat, the family becomes a
cheering section or a mourning bench. Loyalty builds
through sickness and health, want and good fortune,
failure and success. Realize, that there also is a sense of
give and take and that negotiations are part and parcel of
relationships. Those in healthy relationships are devoted
to the well-being and happiness of the others.
Commitment sets a firm foundation for strong
relationships.
Love: Love is the blending of physical and mental
togetherness that includes privacy, intimacy, sharing,
belonging, and caring. Real love is honest,
understanding, patient, and forgiving. All humans have
nderstanding relationships is of increasing
Uinterest in the world today where 'friendships,'
cohabitation, blended families; same sex
families etc. are common. Whatever be the type of
relationship, there are some that work and those that do
not. The question that arises is, “why do some work out
whilesomeothersdon't?”
A relationship is always between a person and
another person or group, or within groups, like a family.
It has been found that the greater the authenticity in a
relationship, the higher the relationship quality.
Authenticity occurs because of emotional
connectedness, knowledge of the other, ability to give
and receive feedback, integration of negative
experiences, resilience and trust. Also, a healthy
relationship is associated with better interpersonal
functioning, more forgiveness, and reduced contempt.
Commitment is an important forecaster of relationship
satisfaction. Therefore, it is important that the partners or
groups like families; recognize that, for the future of their
relationship,commitmentandauthenticityis needed.
Conflicts in relationships are inevitable and they
only become detrimental when people do not feel that
their thoughts, feelings and point of view are understood
by their relationship partners. In relationships knowing
that a partner is more understanding even in a conflict
situation has buffering effects; even a perception of being
understood can result in a better conflict resolution.
Communication is the key to resolving conflicts,
therefore it is necessary to communicate clearly with
each other, develop ways to value boundaries, and build
trustandrespect.
By making a few simple changes in the way we
look at the world and deal with others, it is possible to
create happier, more stable relationships. Groups,
individuals in relationships need to be units of mutual
caring and support thereby becoming sources of lifelong
Fr. Konrad Noronha SJ
Authenticity & Commitment in RelationshipsAuthenticity & Commitment in RelationshipsAuthenticity & Commitment in Relationships
Article

high-quality activity won't make for a strong family.
Nurturing relationships means spending time together.
Memoriesarebuiltaroundtimesspenttogether.
Spiritual wholeness: Asense of a greater good or power
in life and a belief in that power often gives strength,
purpose and sustenance to relationships. “A family that
prays together, stays together” is a well-known saying.
These beliefs encompass those aspects of our lives which
are most noble. Nurturing the spiritual side is important
for growth in spiritual wellness and in deriving benefits
from that nurturance. Many families rely on their
spiritual resources to get them through times of crises.
Spiritual beliefs help sustain people in times of trouble by
providing a philosophy of life, by giving perspective and
byprovidinghope,comfortandasense ofpeace.
None of the above ways are important of
themselves, but all interact, overlap, connect, and
reinforce each other in complex ways that form a mesh of
strength. For example, a person who isn't committed to a
relationship isn't likely to give much time to it and may
not feel the need to pull together with others in a crisis or
to improve communication. Families who spend time
together reinforce commitment and communication. The
expression of appreciation reinforces commitment.
Effective communication is necessary in crisis resolution
and in expressing appreciation. Spiritual wholeness is a
valuable key in coping with crises, appreciating the value
of people, valuing time together and in being committed
toeachother.
Thus the essence of relationships and improving
them is to be aware of the continuous need to work at
them. It takes an extra effort to make relationships work
but the work put into making a relationship stronger is
well worth the effort. Overall, being authentic is
paramount.
(Konrad is a Theology faculty member at JDV)
the need to love and to be loved; the family is normally
the place where love is expressed. Such love does not
happen automatically; it requires constant daily effort by
each member. Loving families share activities and
express a great deal of gratitude for one another. Love
takestime,affection,andapositiveattitude.
Communication: Communication is the lifeblood of
relationships. Persons in relationships talk about small,
trivial things as well as the deep, important issues of life.
Relationships are played out in the context of
communication. Open channels of communication make
problem-solving easier. Effective communication allows
members to express their feelings freely, which is
important in crises. Laughter is one form of
communication. Through laughter we learn to see
ourselves honestly and objectively. Laughter gives a
realistic view of things and must be positive in nature.
Laughing together builds up families and relationships.
Laughing at each other divides a family. Laughter in a
positive way can release tensions, help gain a clearer
viewandbond relationships.
Taking responsibility: Every person in a relationship
has a role to play, with adults assuming greater roles. If
no one accepts their roles, the family will weaken. These
rules are based on every member's greatest
understanding of one another and are not hard and fast
rubrics. In families, guidelines are passed along from
adults to the children by example, and enforced with
firmness and fairness. When crises seem overwhelming
outside help might be called for, as it takes a person from
outside the family to help the family get their lives back
tomanageableproportions.
Spending Time together: Time has to be spent together
for relationships to strengthen; both quality time and
frequent meetings are necessary for a good relationship
formation and maintenance. A lot of time together filled
with bickering and arguing or with small pieces of

students with Pakistani students by exchanging
individual friendly “Peace letters” through schools,
turned out to be a very effective means to promote peace
between these two hostile neignbours. With a little
advertisement new schools joined and the number grew
steadily to approximately 800 letters sent and about 1000
letters received in 2015. The number of schools grew
from 3 in 2012 to 28 in 2015. 8 schools were from India
and 20 from Pakistan. Slowly beyond just exchanging
letters, new areas evolved such as lawyers for peace,
women for peace, youth for peace, NGOs for peace,
seminarians for peace and associations praying for
peace. Now five years later the small beginnings have
grown to be a mission known as 'Peace Mission.' It
involves peace loving people from different
communities: Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs and
Bahais.
Though it was initiated by the two Bishops Late
Bishop Peter Celestine and Bishop Ignatius
Mascarenhas, Archbishop Anil Couto of Delhi,
Archbishop Francis Kallarakkel of Verapoly and Bishop
Joseph Karikkassery of Kottapuram have also become
part of this mission. The latter added a new dimension to
this process. When I visited him in Kerala in Jan 2015,
Bishop Karikkassery asked me what I was doing! On
telling him about this work, he readily said “I will go to
Pakistan' with you”. Though he was dissuaded a lot by
people of his diocese from going to Pakistan he was
nd
determined to come. On 2 Oct 2015 we took the bus
from Amritsar to Pakistan. The gifts that he carried were
80 'Peace letters' written by catechism children from his
diocese.And so the peace initiative reached the southern
borders of India.
If the peace mission has to be effective in
promoting peace between these two countries it has to
spread to all over the country. It is already initiated in three
dioceses in Pakistan: Lahore, Islamabad-Rawalpindi
(Cont’d on Pg.13)
oday when the whole world is looking for
T'Peace,' promoting peace is one of the most
important aspects of our mission as Christians.
To be in peace we must be at peace with ourselves and
with others. Living harmoniously with our neighbours is
sometimes a task. India is constantly at unrest with its
neighbours. If we want peace in SouthAsia, it is essential
that Pakistan and India should have peace between them.
At one time we all lived peacefully until the British
developed the policy of divide and rule. Then in 1947 we
chose to live as two separate nations, both hoping to live
peacefully and happily. Yet, only dominating feelings of
hatred,hostilityand tension have arisen betweenus. How
can we have peace when we have hatred towards our
neighbor?
In such circumstances Jesus challenges us to love
our enemies and do good to those who persecute us.
When the enemy is a nation, can there be a possibility of
making peace? If so where does one begin? 68 years of
hostility cannot be wiped out overnight. But if no one
takes a step to remedy this it will never end but only get
worse. On the other hand even a small positive step can
instill hope. In this direction an unusual step was initiated
in 2011 by Bishop Ignatius Loyola Mascarenhas of
Simla-Chandigarh and the then late Bishop Peter
Celestine OFM Cap of Jammu-Srinagar Diocese. I was
asked to initiate a peace process between India and
Pakistan by these bishops. It was a difficult task even to
think of ways to begin this job. One day an idea struck
me, why not begin with children.They are the best means
to begin such a difficult work, even if it is in a small way. I
asked children from some schools in Jammu to write
peace letters to children in Pakistan. The start itself was
small. In 2012 just 32 students from three big schools
agreed to take the initiative and write letters to students in
Pakistan. The response was different. Besides the 32
replies, 60 fresh letters were received addressed to
‘Unknown Friend in India.' Connecting a small group of
Indo – Pak Peace InitiativeIndo – Pak Peace InitiativeIndo – Pak Peace Initiative
Joseph Kalathil SJ
Article

Yet we cannot deny the challenges we encounter
while upholding good relationship. A healthy
relationship demands understanding, trust, sacrifice,
commitment, patience and forgiveness. Sadly due to a
lack of these virtues we see many relationships falling
apart. We often fail to present ourselves as we are, and
end up putting on masks. Most of the time, we land up
living in relationships that are rid of the spirituality of the
heart. The other becomes a mere object in our selfish
world.
It is time for us to remind ourselves that we are
relational beings. Our life with all its complexities finds
its meaning and richness in being related to others. It's
very true that the quality of happiness we enjoy depends
on the quality of relationships we cherish; its purity is
found in the good will that we show to each other. As we
continue our journey here in JDV let us not
compartmentalize study and relationship but make both
an integral part of our life. Let us live the spirit of
Rakshabandhan that is to protect the other and care for
each other as brothers and sisters. Let us build our
relationship on reciprocal concern and interest and treat
othersasweliketobeinreturn.
st
(Anshu is a 1 Yr Theologian at JDV)
irds that live around a lake will fly away when
Bthe lake dries up. But the lotus that grows in the
lake dies there in. True relationships are
everlasting. They are built on the foundation of love and
trust which is always nurtured by mutual understanding.
A relationship gets better or worse depending on how
much we understand and invest in them. The month of
August reminds us of one of the most celebrated festivals
of India-'Rakshabandhan.' It is the symbol of a deep bond
of affection between humans as brothers and sisters, to
celebrate this sacred relationship. Rakshabandhan
signifies the protection that the sister expects of a brother.
However if we glance through history this practice was
not restricted only to a brother and sister but it was
extended even among a Guru and his disciple, a Rishi and
his pupil, a husband and his wife, a daughter and her
mother etc. It means that whenever there was a need for
the other to be safeguarded Rakshabandan was a means
forit.
Today when we look at it from a broader
perspective this ritual not only strengthens the bond of
love between two persons, it also transcends the confines
of family ties. It is so wonderful to see that when a Rakhi
is tied on the wrist of a close friend or neighbour, it
highlights the need for a harmonious and peaceful living
as brothers and sisters. In fact it even fosters spiritual
growth. Many of our society's problems can be solved
when relationships are highlighted from this point of
view. As students of JDV we have been given this
wonderful opportunity to cherish the bond of love as
brothers and sisters.The joy of friendship gives us asense
of belongingness. It creates room for freedom and
respect for the other. As it is said, the more we love the
other the lesser is the place for lust. A good relationship
strengthens all aspects of life and rejuvenates our spirit
and consequently generates a source of support and
happiness.
A Bond That Unites HeartsA Bond That Unites HeartsA Bond That Unites Hearts
Sr. Anshu Tirkey
Article

undeniable fact is
t h a t h u m a n s
depend on nature
and it is a necessity
for them to depend
f o r t h e i r o w n
survival.
Human persons do not live apart from nature. We
depend on nature for food, air, water, and virtually
everything we use. Ecosystems provide us with a number
ofnaturalservices.
We do not exist as isolated individuals, but are
closely interrelated with one another. It is rightly said that
we are part of a web of life. A web is intricately
interconnected, similarly all components in the universe
are interconnected. On a close look we understand that
there is no one without the other. It is important to
understand who a human person is and how he/she has a
unique and significant place in the intricately fabricated
universe.
This instills two attitudes in humans, one to
consider nature as an object of exploitation to satisfy
one's unquenchable and limitless greed: second, to act
responsibly in using nature to meet one's needs and
protect and preserve it respecting the inherent and unique
value that it possesses independent of human knowing.
By this, we know that human persons, though part of the
entire universe; they do have a unique and significant
role to play. I would like to conclude with another saying
ofPopeFrancisfromLaudatoSi
“Everything is related, and we human beings are
united as brothers and sisters on a wonderful pilgrimage,
woven together by the love God has for each of his
creatures and which also unites us in fond affection with
brothersun, sistermoon,brotherriverandmotherearth.”
rd
( Lumnesh is 3 Yr Theologian at JDV)
n t h i s u n i v e r s e , s h a p e d b y o p e n a n d
Iintercommunicating systems, we can discern
countless forms of relationship and participation.
This leads us to think of the whole as open to God's
transcendence, within which it develops. Faith allows us
to interpret the meaning and the mysterious beauty of
whatisunfolding.”(LaudatoSiNo 79)
We are part of numerous living and non-living
things present in this universe. We are interdependent
and we constantly interact with one another for our very
survival. This dynamic system and structure reveals that
no one can claim independent living. Damage to one
component would mean damage to every other
component as well. Human beings are part of this web.
They are the key players in this ecosystem as they are
endowedwithpowerofthinkingandrationalizing.
An ecosystem is a communityof different species
interacting with one another and with their nonliving
environment of matter and energy. All these factors
(Earth, Water and air and living beings) are related to one
another. The farthest ancient star is related to the new
shoot thatcomeseachmorning.
A number of species depend upon the coactions
or interactions of other members within the species
(intraspecific interactions) or between individuals of
different species of the community of an ecosystem
(interspecific).
In intraspecific interactions, they exhibit various
types of association, colonization, aggregations, social
organizations and behavior. In interspecific interactions,
we find neutralism, commensalism, protocoperation,
mutualism, amensalism, parasitism, and predation. This
only affirms that all species cannot but live in interactive
state for one's own survival. Human persons are in no
way different when it comes to interaction with other
species, but they have a different mechanism. The
Inevitable Intricate InterrelationshipInevitable Intricate InterrelationshipInevitable Intricate Interrelationship
Lumnesh Kumar SJ
Article

world. Online
r e l a t i o n s h i p s
seem to be much
comfortable for
today's younger
generation as
they are not ready
to take up the
burden of the other. This is because virtual networking
has bypassed a lot of aspects of reality and allowed
peopletoliveinaworld of fantasy.
Extensive use of social networking has made the
family and social relationships very shallow, superficial
and inconsistent. The instant culture which is cultivated
by this digital age has taken away the purity of
relationships and has transformed it as a mere channel of
personal gain. In the widened world of communication
people possess a shrinking heart. Mounting up of dating
apps and its users convey that relationships today mean
only a casual living together or mere sex. Cyber crimes
are on the rise. Fake accounts are created to foster fake
relationships. Many of the youth as well as children are
trapped not knowing the reality behind the screen. Cyber
pornography, financial crimes, web jacking, online
gambling, email spoofing and bombing, virus and worm
attack, data diddling etc is news we find in plenty these
days.
We must come to the conviction that social
networking cannot be a substitute for real relationships.
Let us use them instead of letting them use us.Along with
appreciating the usefulness of social networking and
modern gadgets let us also be vigilant so that we do not
become slaves to them blinding ourselves to reality. We
must cultivate and propagate a 'culture of encounter' as
Pope Francis says, going out to meet people and really
becomingpartof theirlives.
rd
(Arun is a 3 Yr Theologian at JDV)
he modern world has been witnessing a
Ttremendous escalation in the technological and
communication field since the beginning of the
st
21 century. In a way it has helped humans to be more
proficient and prolific. However, with the explosion of
the information and communication technologies
availableat our fingertips therehas comeabout a startling
erosion of human and social values. The worst affected
area is human relationship. Unfortunately, the modern
sophisticated communication facilities especially social
networking limits our direct contact with each other.
Parents feel shut out of the lives of their own children,
who often spend hours in front of computers and mobiles.
Communication with family and friends is getting
confined to text messages. 'Talk less and text more' is the
catchphrase of today's younger generation. Expression of
relationships is compressed in flaccid words and
emoticons. The most used communication expression is
not even word but a symbol of the heart. Today's
generation is least interested in serious relationships that
involve commitment.Artificiality has cropped up even in
familial relationships. This disingenuousness has an
appalling role in increasing family break-ups. Studies
prove that whatsapp and facebook have eaten up many
familieseventotheextentofdivorce.
Today, virtual friendships have taken over from
real intimate ties. Modern communication applications
have provided people with more connections but fewer
relations. 'Connecting people' the watchword of all the
social networking sites is merely a mirage which attracts
many only to deceive them. World wide connectivity is
offered at the expense of familial and neighborhood
relations. This is a kind of space crossing mania that
makes people chase connections in a virtual world
neglecting the dear and near ones and finding no time to
be with their kith and kin. Many parents have reported
that their children feel disconnected to the real
Cloud RelationshipCloud RelationshipCloud Relationship
Arun K CST
Article

oneself. From the very moment of our birth we are
burdened with thoughts that prevent us from reasoning
freely. In some parts of India if a boy of a high caste
marries a girl of a lower caste, killing both is considered
an honour for the family members. Members of society
who are close to such families support such violent acts.
We are basically slaves who, in fear find it difficult to
relate because we still
don't have a true
relationship with our
inner self - the true
s e l f w h i c h i s
ultimatelydivine!
G e n u i n e
freedom should urge
a human being to treat
every living creature
w i t h c a r e a n d
concern. It should teach one to respect and understand
the other in equality and also to fight for justice when the
situation demands it. At the same time freedom could
lead to chaos if selfishness has the upper hand and when
altruismis totallyabsent.
One can only relate freely and with purity when
the power comes from the true inner self which is how
one can define actual freedom.You are no longer affected
by the externals when you trust in your inner powers.
Such a freedom would assist in loving every creature,
thereby gradually bringing an atmosphere of peace in the
midstofchaos.
A freedom that is true will always move towards
building relationships rather than breaking them.
Freedom and relationship can walk together hand in hand
only when an individual as a mediator permits such a
unitytotakeplace.
nd
(Savio is a 2 Yr Philosopher at JDV)
Every creature right from the beginning is
instilled with some kind of anxiety, fear etc.
which restrict its growth to freedom. Absolute
freedom may not be a possibility! Still, deep down, every
human being longs to be free and to live his/her life
independently. Being free is an important element if one
wantstorelatetotheother.
India secured
its Independence from
the British in the face
of difficulties and
t h r o u g h g r e a t
sacrifices. But has this
Independence truly
set us free? In the
current scenario the
rich are growing
richer while the poor
are starving to death. And though we are aware of this
injustice happening on a daily basis, it never really
troubles us. The selfish agenda of a few restrict the free
will of many. Those who dare to speak the truth are
silenced forever, thereby muting the songs of freedom
deeplyseatedintheheartsofthepeople.
There is a great diversity of cultures, traditions,
religions etc. in India but people still lack the freedom to
relate to one another. Forget about relating across
cultures and religions; relating within one's own cultural
and religious circles also has become a big challenge.
Politics coupled with selfish desires that corrupt and
break the nations are rampant even within religion and
culture. A house cannot stand strong for long if its
foundation is weak. Similarly, if we are weak from within
wewillneverbeabletofaceanyhardships inlife.
An individual can never freely relate with the
other unless s/he first learns to relate freely with
Freedom and RelationshipFreedom and RelationshipFreedom and Relationship
Savio Fernandes SJ
Article

encouragement to one another can enable us to go
forward with more confidence and joyfulness despite the
strugglesthatwestillface.
Having knitted her child together in her womb for
nine months, Mary gave birth amid blood, mucus, and
anguish of physical birth in a rather unfamiliar and
uncomfortable situation. Motherhood implies a
biological and a psychological relationship between the
mother and the child. The human personality of Jesus
developed in Nazareth under the care of His parents.
Mary had a partner in parenting, at least for twelve years.
We learn from Mary that parenting well, besides
demanding an enormous amount of intelligence and
energy, places the heart in a vulnerable position. A
personal relationship passes through the constant tension
between continued dependence and a growing self-
asserting freedom. Every mother has to face the painful
task of allowing her children to grow and find their own
destiny. A possessive mother who binds the child to
herself may ruin his/her life. To allow freedom is the test
ofreallove.
However, today, not all women want to be
mothers nor need they be in order to be true women.
Women who do bear children are combining career and
family with more or less satisfaction. There are many
avenues along which women may rightly live out their
human vocation. Mary transcends motherhood and
continues to be an exemplar for women and men today in
their relationships through her own life as she heard the
word of God andkeptit.
(ArjenisaTheologyfacultymemberatJDV)
n the Christian tradition, the first century Jewish
Iwoman, Mary, the mother of Jesus, could be said to
have become all things to all people. We see a
variety of attitudes and approaches, both popular and
scholarly, toward her. She seems too idealized, too high,
too holy, and too innocent to be of much use to our
spiritual growth. However, engaging in honest dialogue
with scripture and Christian tradition, today women
scholars are redefining Mary for the liberation of all,
especially women. Following their theological trajectory
this article seeks in Lukan Mary a model of human
relationship.
The annunciation depicts Mary as a hearer and
doer of God's word. It comprises of the birth
announcement and commissioning. At the center of this
story lies a relationship between the Spirit of God and a
peasant woman. Hearing the divine call, Mary decides to
say 'Yes.' God always relates to us whether we are aware
of it or not. We are being “spoken to” continuously. Mary
becomes a model for us, teaching us the manner in which
we can respond to God's communication through her
own example. Mary's response was a conscious and
active obedience. So ought to be ours! When our
response gets articulated through faith in the form of an
aesthetic expression or a social commitment we can be
assured like Mary that we will be empowered and
protectedby God.
Exuberant from her encounter with the angel,
Mary visits her kinswoman Elizabeth. Filled with the
Spirit both women burst into glorious speech. Mary has
to figure out how to live with a blessing that causes more
problems than it solves. Yet, her canticle can barely
contain her joy over the liberation coming to fruition in
her. Like Mary, we do grapple with God's intentions in
our lives. But, we are also blessed with joy, a gift of the
Holy Spirit. This joy is not to be locked up in our hearts
but to be shared with our acquaintances. Akin to the
sharing of Mary and Elizabeth, our mutual solidarity and
Fr Arjen Tete, SJ
Mary: A Model of RelationshipsMary: A Model of RelationshipsMary: A Model of Relationships
Article

they arrive and it is only by this meeting that a new world
is born.” Friendship gives us the chance to chat, share,
tease each other, recall the good old times and gives us
energy to proceed in life further with great enthusiasm in
spite of all the hardships that come on our way. We all
know that friendship has no barriers of age or gender or
education or religion or nationality or race. Friendship is
a relationship where two or more people have mutual
affection for each other. We humans have been gifted
with a large heart which is capable of expressing deep
love for one another. This heart has the capacity to
receiveandgiveloveinanyrelationship.
Here are 3 C's - simple steps to make friends,
understand better, and be a great confidante tofriendship
others:
1.Compassion: To begin any relationship and to
strengthen it later, compassion is essential. Only when
we are compassionate, we can accept and understand the
person as s/heis.
2. Confidentiality: When trust is built in a friendship,
people feel free to share the deepest joys and sorrows
that they undergo in their life and feel great consolation
not always trying to find solutions to their problems but
bymerelysharingthemwitheachother.
3. Care fronting: If there is no freedom to challenge and
correct each other in friendship, then our relation may be
an apparently good looking one. But this will not really
grow into a friendship that will go a long way. When we
know that our friend is not on the right track, we need to
correct him/her, advice and try to make his life more
meaningful. Today people are afraid of care fronting
because we are afraid of losing our friends. Real friends
don't hesitate to be straight forward because they want
the other to grow.Any friendship should help us to live a
happierandmorejoyfullifethatisworth living.
rd
(Thambi is a 3 Yr Theologian at JDV)
riends are the most important ingredient in this
Frecipe of life,” says an anonymous author. On the
contrary, in today’s postmodern world of
relativism, people are fully into their own self-centred
world and this indeed has distorted our understanding of
friendship from the past. We are all living in a fast
changing world and people want to change cell phones,
laptops, bikes, cars etc. Nobody wants to have something
or somebody for a long time. Besides we are entangled in
this technological world in which we are fully
surrounded by media to the extent of neglecting the
persons who are next to us and getting busy with the
person who is physically far away from us. In a way we
arelivinginthevirtualworldofvirtualrelationships.
Friendships today are becoming bitter in such a
situation deprived of intimacy and genuineness and
becoming so mechanical. Once a psychologist in the US
asked his students who were addicted to Whatsapp to
stop sending messages to their friends for a week! As
they did, many of their friends did not bother and never
sent any messages in return either.Very few only actually
cared about this break in messaging. When it continued
for the second week, they were receiving only official
messages of information. It was then that they realized
the instability of impersonal friendships made over
social media. Nothing can give us more happiness when
"A real friend walks into our life and the rest of the world
walks out." Experiences of this sort cannot be given by
social media. Once a friendship is established through
self-disclosure and reciprocity, the glue that binds is
intimacy. Though it is possible for us to have countless
friends through social media, we cannot care and share
with all. There may be some reciprocity in the exchange
of messages, but there may not be a true exchange of
hearts and minds as we find in real and live relationships.
Anais Nin put it beautifully when she said, "”Each friend
represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until
Frienships TodayFrienships TodayFrienships Today
Thambi Kranthi SJ
Article

days of travel across Iran and Iraq, they reach the Beirut
coast.
They paid their entire life's savings of 2,500
Dollars each to the local smugglers to reach them to
Europe and set sailing onto an old fishing boat crammed
with 500 people, 300 below and 200 above. There were
Syrians, Palestinians, Africans, Muslims and Christians,
crammed together shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet,
where Nazi too sat with her legs crammed up to her chest.
Four days later the passengers became agitated and
questioned the captain, when will we get there? No
sooner the Captain insulted them and said 16 hrs from
now, than the boat began to capsize and sink.Those in the
lower deck were doomed and Nazi witnessed her sister
cut into pieces by the propeller and the sea swallowed as
many as it could. Around 54 people survived , as no one
came to their rescue the rest gave up hope and sank into
thesea!
Why do refugees like Nazi take these kinds of
risks? Millions of refugees are living in exile, in limbo.
They're living in countries (fleeing) from a war that has
been raging for years and decades. Even if they want to
return, they can't as their homes, businesses, towns and
cities have been completely destroyed. Even now people
continue to flee into neighboring countries and we build
refugee camps for them in the deserts and the forests.
Millions live in camps like these, and many more are still
fleeing. Communities and neighboring countries that
once welcomed them are hesitant now for there are
simplynotenoughfacilitiestosustainall.
People leave everything behind – everything
except their hopes and dreams for a safer future to escape
violence. No migrant would take that dangerous journey
if theyhad enoughfoodfor themselvesand theirchildren.
And no one would put their life's savings in the hands of
thosenotorioussmugglersiftherewasalegalway!
st
(John is a 1 Yr Theologian at JDV)
Each day war forces thousands of families to flee
their homes. A record high of 65 million
refugees were displaced last year i.e. in 2015 at
an average of 24 people per minute, amounting to 34,000
people per day. Every day, I listen to harrowing stories of
people fleeing for their lives, across dangerous borders
and unfriendly seas, but one story that has affected me is
that of a 17 year old Afghan IDP (Internally Displaced
People)girl,Nazi.
Four years of war drove the family into pieces,
killing her father in conflict. Thereafter, one day, men on
motorcycles tried to kidnap and sell her to an old man in
marriage.Once an aspiring student thinking of her future,
was now scared of life all the time. Hence, Mariam a
schoolmate and close friend of Nazi also struggling in
Afghanistan realized that staying here would be a
nightmare so she said to Nazi, "Let's run away to Europe;
seek asylum, work and study together in safety -- the
promise of a new life." But this meant risking their lives
in the hands of smugglers travelling across Iran, Iraq and
Mediterranean Sea, also water as Nazi was terrified since
she didn't know to swim due to the lack of facilities in
Afghan.
It wasAugust that year, and already around 3,000
people had died trying to cross the Mediterranean, but
Mariam and Nazi felt, “Maybe we can do it.” Thus Nazi
and her aged Mother and along with her two younger
sisters andMariambegantheirjourneyandafterfour
Where Do We Go?Where Do We Go?Where Do We Go?
John Mezsia SJ
Article

reasons for a decline in the closeness of families is connected
to the busy lifestyles that we now lead. Most people have to
work longer hours and often both parents work, so they simply
do not have as much time to spend with each other as they did
in the past. Another factor is the materialistic and consumer
driven culture we now live in, which has led to less value being
placed on family relationships. Modern technology also
means that people are more interested in their online life than
interacting with their family in their free time. The paradox of
the present age is that we become more connected
electronically and less emotionally. Marriage which is
basically a spiritual union has become the “most expensive
programme” of one's life. There is a greater focus on the
weddingthanon themarriedlife.
The families which God prepared as Good News for
the human being, which represents the Trinitarian
Communion, the relation between Christ and the Church now
remain as something that has lost its power to proclaim the
Gospel and to be the Gospel. Nevertheless, let us keep in mind
that no renewal in the church is possible without the renewal
and strengthening of families. Pope Francis in his Apostolic
Exhortation, Amoris Laetitia says, “No family drops down
from heaven perfectly formed; families need constantly to
grow and mature in the ability to love”. Hence The Holy
Father urges everyone to celebrate and support the institution
of marriage and the family at this critical moment in the
history of our civilization. We have been called to become
ambassadors to spread the message of mercy and forgiveness
therebybrokennessofindividualsandfamiliesarehealed.
rd
(Jose is a 3 Yr Theologian at JDV)
“Having a place to go - is a home. Having someone to
love - is a family. Having both - is a blessing.”
Every human being seeks a relationship. The creation of
humans as male and female itself shows the human orientation
is to build a family which is the centre of relationships. Family
is where we all belong to and from where our identity comes
from. By just saying that you live with your family does not
hold any values to being a part of the family. Four or five
persons living under one roof does not become a family.We all
belong to a family and it is our family that keeps us together
throughthickandthin.
But do we not feel that something has gone terribly
wrong with familyinthepresentscenario???
The Family in the modern world, more than any other
institution, has been beset by many profound and rapid
changes and unprecedented challenges. Increase in divorce,
premarital sex, extra marital sex, same sex marriage, broken
families, and one child parents, cold relationships etc are on
the verge. Instead of being a community of persons, unhealthy
individualism reigns over the family. Children who are the gift
of God become hindrance for the free movement of the
spouses, and there are cases where spouses unanimously agree
that they don't want children. Many teenagers today complain
about how intolerable their families can be. When something
is wrong within the family, it is usually seen expressed outside
thefamily,seekingrefugeinfriends.
The voyage of morality has been affected due to the
invasion of modernism and modern culture. One of the first
Family, Where Life Begins & Love Never Ends…Family, Where Life Begins & Love Never Ends…Family, Where Life Begins & Love Never Ends…
Jose Tharayil VC
Article
(Cont’d from Pg.5)
and Faisalabad. In India it has spread to Jammu
and Kashmir, Punjab, Delhi, Jharkhand, Orissa, Tamil
Nadu, Kerala, Karnataka and Gujarat. This work is
literally and truly God's work which God is taking ahead
inHis own way.
(Joseph is a Jesuit of Jamshedpur Province)
Art By Dolwin CutinhaArt By Dolwin CutinhaArt By Dolwin Cutinha
Indo – Pak Peace InitiativeIndo – Pak Peace InitiativeIndo – Pak Peace Initiative

happyabouttheirbrutalityandgetpleasureoutofit.
4. Arrogance: This makes one to be filled with selfish
ego, competitiveness, jealousy and superiority. These
will make the person either go away from society or
causegreaterdisastertohumanity.
5. Ideology: Our ideologies play a great role in our
interaction among us as humans. At times, because of
their ideologies people behave in an aggressive way.
Hence we should go beyond our boundaries in our
relationshipswithpeople.
6. Emotions: It is human nature to feel different kinds of
emotions because we are emotional beings. Therefore,
we should be aware of our emotions which dominate us.
If we are not aware of these emotions we will be very
easilyblindedanditcouldgiverisetoconflictsinsociety.
Buddhist cosmology on philosophy says we need
to be aware of our needs and desires. It is human nature to
fall into all these realms of desires which can result in
different kinds of disasters. One should give more
attention to these desires which are connected with
selfish –interests so that there will be a mutual
understanding and good relationship in the world. It will
help us to transcend the boundaries from the personal
level to the communitarian level. Thus society will
becomemorehuman!
nd
(Moris is a 2 yr Philosopher at JDV)
t is human nature to be motivated by self-interest in
Iall that we do. I would like to call it 'selfish-interest.'
It generally refers to the needs and desires of the
self. Many philosophers, psychologists and economists
agree that these are connected to motivating human
action. Selfish-interests can make us achieve greater
things.If we are not morally aware of the realms of
desires leading to our selfish-interests, then different
forms of disasters can occur across all levels, personal,
social, national as well as international. We are well
aware of the disaster caused to humanity in Hiroshima
and Nagasaki in August 1945, where the atom bombs in
both the cities killed around 129,000 people. It’s ill
effectscanbefelteventoday.Weareresponsibleforit!
Even today, we notice wars, bomb blasts,
corruption, social, political and economic problems,
because of the virus called “selfish –interests” among us
humans. In order to minimize the different forms of
disasters and to bring mutual relationships across all
spheres, we have to be aware of the things which control
our selfish-interests, especially our needs and desires.
The things we should be very much aware of as
individualsare:
1. Controlling others: Every individual person tries to
control the others, but people don't realize that by
controlling the others they make their lives miserable and
get into different kinds of emotions which destroy their
peaceof mind|.
2. Possessiveness: Selfish-interests are very active here
because human nature is to derive pleasure from
everything in the world, namely power, wealth and fame.
Therefore every person wants to possess everything in
theworld.
3. Brutality: A sense of immorality is governed by
instinct. Because of that there are many conflicts in the
worldandmanypeoplearedyinginsociety.Peopleare
Humanity vs Humanity = VanityHumanity vs Humanity = VanityHumanity vs Humanity = Vanity
Moris Martin SJ
Article

through our pastoral ministries we can help persons make
commitments and thus strengthen the bonds of healthy
andmaturerelationships!
3.Are today's youth comfortable with commitment
and responsibility inrelationships?
The youth have a lot of positive energy in them.
They are a work force. They do shoulder a lot of
r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s a n d m a k e
commitments that help in running
the world at large. They are very
efficient too! In fact, if directed well
they can be helped to make lasting,
committed and responsible
decisions that can help foster
healthy relationships! Above all we
need to continue to harness in them a
positive attitude towards life,
towards themselves and towards
others! In this way they could be
guided to see the good in themselves
and hence the good in others! This
will make them comfortable with commitment and
responsibilityinrelationships.
4. In what way is the Church bringing awareness
about pre-marital relationships and helping the
Youth to accept the teachings of the Church in this
regardas moralethics?
With the prevalence of the internet and the media,
the traditional values of family life and marriage are
being eroded. Pre-marital relationships especially in the
cities are coming to the fore. The Church and her Pastors
must help parents and educators to guide the youth and
give them the correct view of sex and marriage, as well as
provide proper faith formation. Much priority is given to
tuition and other educational preoccupations rather than
religious duties, viz. Sunday Mass. In this environment,
1. What is the reason for the growing number of
annulments in the Church of today?
Pope Francis in his recent Post SynodalApostolic
Exhortation 'Amoris Letitia' has said that we need to have
an attitude of gratitude because most people do keep
family bonds and are serious about keeping their
marriage commitments! They are touched by grace and
the sacraments that accompany
them on their journey through life.
Marriages are therefore by and large
fruitful, loving as well as lasting!
There is however the other side too!
The present generation is afraid to
make a commitment; temporality in
everything seems to be the rule of
the world! Viz. people change jobs
often looking for the better; gone are
the days when it was considered a
value for a person to stick on to one
job for the rest of his/her life! In this
context of temporality there do arise
misunderstandings and challenges
in making and keeping long and lasting commitments
especially in relationships. The spouses do not at times
respect their partners and do not spend quality time with
one another; an increase of demands by one or the other
too, challenge relationships to keep them going. The
inability to adjust to one another is just one of the many
situationsthatleadtoseekingannulmentsinthechurch!
2. How can we, the people of the church help in
strengthening thebond ofrelationships?
We as one people of God, as members of the
Church need to promote integrated development of the
individual and of the community. This means that we
need to focus on growth that is spiritual, emotional,
psychological, personal and human hence all
encompassing. With this integrated approach especially
An Interview with ArchbishopAn Interview with Archbishop
Emeritus Stanislaus Fernandes, SJEmeritus Stanislaus Fernandes, SJ
An Interview with Archbishop
Emeritus Stanislaus Fernandes, SJ
Interview

played well! This was to allow the child to grow in age,
wisdom and grace! Besides this, they decided at one
point of time to move away from their only born Son and
to let Him fulfill the mission that he was entrusted with!
This meant taking the relationship to the next level, i.e. a
transformed relationship with their Son Jesus which
would mean distancing themselves from their Son's life
and activities by respecting His response to the mission
of His Father.We need to foster this in our families today!
Allow our children to grow in responsible freedom and
thus help them to make choices for their own good and
thegood ofthefamilyandsociety.
7. What message would you like to give to our
ReadersespeciallytheYouth today?
The message I would like to give to the readers,
especially the youth is - Grow as integrated persons; as
human beings with spiritual values. Be open and honest
to one another in society and in the church community.
Respect the gift of family, foster it more and more with
values and virtues that can be nourished and cherished!
Family is a foundational truth in society, sustain it and
live up to its place in society! Grow therefore as honest,
generous, loving, truthful, forgiving and service minded
people fostering healthy relationships with God, with
oneself,withoneanotherandwithcreation!
(Archbishop Stanislaus is presently the Apostolic
Administrator of Baroda Diocese)
it is not easy to influence the youth with the teachings of
the Church. Dioceses and parishes have youth groups
but the impact may not be felt as through these groups
only a section of the youth can be contacted or connected
with. A good number of youth are away from their home
base because of higher studies or better job opportunities.
The Church has no organized platform to keep in touch
with these who have migrated from their homes and are
largelylefttothemselves.
5. What is the role of Mary in fostering family
relationships?
I don't think Mary can be taken in isolation! If she
has to be a role model we ought not to forget the role of
Joseph! Joseph was a person who trusted his spouse. He
cared for the family. Mary had a special mission to be the
Mother of God. Mary was just another ordinary woman
who would do her daily chores, cooking, mending of
clothes etc! She did have time for herself too. She did
have time to care for the family and especially for her son
Jesus during his hidden life of 30 years. But the core of
Mary's role can be seen in the response that she gets from
Jesus at the time when he was lost in the temple, “Did you
not know I have to be in my father's house?” Jesus had a
mission and even from his very young days, Mary
respected it! The annunciation by the Angel Gabriel and
the words of the prophet Simeon had prepared her to
understand her role. To respect the desire and the
aspirations of a child is an important message Mary's life
givesus.
6. How can today's families live up to the role model of
theHolyFamily?
The Holy Family is a model for us. Mary and
Joseph like good parents had their roles to play in the life
and the upbringing of Jesus! They did their best to
provide for their child's needs just as any other parent
woulddo!Howevertherewas onesignificantrolethey

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helppreventsoilerosion
shieldchildrenfromultra-violetrays
providefood
heal
createeconomicopportunities
areteachersandplaymates
bringdiversegroups of peopletogether
addunity
provideacanopyandhabitatforwildlife
providewood
CleantheSoil
ControlNoisePollution
ActasWindbreaks
DidYou Know???
1. Life could not exist on Earth without trees because they
produce most of the oxygen that humans and wildlife
breathe.
Trees receive an estimated 90% of their nutrition from
theatmosphereandonly10%fromthesoil.
Trees grow from the top, not from the bottom as is
commonly believed. A branch's location on a tree will
onlymoveup thetrunkafewinchesin1000 years.
No tree dies of old age. They are generally killed by
insects, disease or by people. Giant Sequoia is
regarded as the oldest tree and has been known to live
4,000to5,000years.
 There are about 20,000 tree species in the world. India
is thelargesttreetreasuryintheWorld.
 Some trees can "talk" to each other. When willows are
attacked by webworms and caterpillars, they emit a
chemical that alerts nearby willow of the danger. The
neighboring trees then respond by pumping more
tannin into their leaves making it difficult for the
insectstodigesttheleaves.
 On average, one tree produces nearly 260 pounds of
oxygen each year. Two mature trees can provide
enough oxygen for a family of four."That same acre of
trees also produces enough oxygen for 18 people to
breathe for a year." Not all trees produce the same
amountof oxygeninthesameamountoftime.
(Courtesy: Weekend Gardener,
http://www.weekendgardener.net/tree‐
information/facts‐about‐trees‐80608.htm)
T
R
E
E
S

CONER
Catholics of North- Eastern region (CONER) is a ministry of DNC Scholastics for the Catholics coming from
the North Eastern part of India residing in Pune. The group consists of students and working people. This ministry
aims at bringing them together to keep their faith alive through monthly Eucharists and house-visits. It brings various
tribes together to appreciate each others' culture. The Eucharist is
st rd
celebrated on the 1 and 3 Sunday of the month. There are Bible
classes, faith sharing and learning hymns of
different tribal communities. We visit
houses on weekends and pray with them,
listening to them and help them in whatever
way possible. Once a year we have a day of Prayer or recollection for all the members. Other activities are conducting
Fresher's day to welcome the new members, at the beginning of the academic year and Pre- Christmas celebration.
Thisministryis carriedoutincollaborationwiththeBrothersandSistersfromNorthEaststudyinginJDV.
Chotanagpur Ministry
Thousands of tribal people, hailing from Chotanagpur, have settled
in Pune to earn their livelihood. In this busy Pune life there was
tendency to lose their culture, values of unity, spirituality and even
language. Keeping this in mind the DNC Jesuit Scholastics, from
central India began the Chotanagpur ministry. The different works
are 1. Social: It involves family visits and prayer services in the
families and carol singing during
Christmas season.
2. Intellectual: We help them by taking
tuitions for the children and youth.
3. Spiritual: A Hindi Mass is organized
twice a month, a Christmas Vigil Mass
and a day recollection.
4. Community-building: Hockey matches, Karam festival and the annual gathering are organized to
bring the community together to celebrate life and build fraternal.

DNC TIMES - August - 2016

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DNC TIMES - August - 2016