Here is a summary of the peer feedback I received and my thoughts on it: - Peers said the images were simple and clear which would appeal to children, which I agree with. This was my goal. - Some felt the story could have been expanded on more. I disagree as I wanted to keep it concise for children. - Feedback noted the rhyming text would engage children, which I'm glad about as this was an intention. - It was pointed out some slides could have more detail, which I agree with as I ran short on time. - Peers felt the characters were well represented through visuals and text, which I'm pleased about. - One peer said the

1. Graphic Narrative
Evaluation

2. Use this template to help you evaluate your project.
You should give specific details about your work.
You should provide both written and visual examples to explain your project.
You should find areas to praise in your work. Be specific about why you think they are
good or why you are proud of them.
You should also find areas that could be improved. Look for areas that you could make
better if you went back to them. Be specific about what you would improve.
Add additional slides as you need to. Don’t be restricted by what is here.
Any blank slides should be deleted before submission.

3. Does your final product reflect your
original intentions?
My final product does reflect my original intentions in terms of the plot, characters
and background settings. However, in my storyboard there are some extra slides
that I had to cut out of my final production in order to save time. The story still
goes as normal except instead of the Piper being hung at the end he is sent to
prison. I changed the ending to make the book more appropriate to a child
audience, so instead of being hanged the piper is sent back to prison.
I had a picture of the mayor of Hamelin in my mood board and I used that image to
create him for my book.

4. Initially I said I wanted to have 12 pages, however I had to cut some out to save time.
I did however use a 20 by 24 cm page layout like I wrote about in my proposal.
Another thing that doesn’t reflect my original intentions is the fact that in my
planning my text was in bubbles and in my final book it isn’t. I changed this in order
to add more writing to the book and so that it wouldn’t look to scruffy with plain
parts and other parts full of text and images.
I said that I wanted to rotoscope to produce my book and that is what I have done.
However another thing that doesn’t reflect my original intentions is the boy and the
fact he doesn’t become the Fried Piper or have the name Wu-Tang. I changed this
because there was no appropriate way of doing this unless I drastically changed the
text and then there would be far too much of it for children. Also, it could have got
confusing and misleading. I also changed the way in which the Piper talks in my final
product because in the planning when I looked through it I thought he sounded a bit
silly and out of place talking like that.

5. How well have you constructed your
images?
I feel like I constructed my images very well to make them simple and appeal to
children. I am proud of how I succeeded in changing the position of the character
for the different slides. I did this by visualising how someone would look if they
were sleeping, dancing, playing the pipe etc… I used the rotate tool on Photoshop
and then redid the shapes in order to smooth everything out.
I tried to use the shape tool mostly to change an object or personal feature, clothes
etc… in order to keep the slides consistent with each other. On some slides such as
the slides where the setting is the bedroom I used the quick selection tool in parts
to try and produce more of a detailed affect, however I still stuck to the same
colourising technique of rotoscoping.

6. I feel I constructed my images well but could have off constructed
them better. This is because in most slides besides the bedroom slides
I added the main objects to the background from an image I picked up
from Google and then I worked from there to complete the rest of the
background how I assumed it would look by adding other object in. For
example, I got a picture of the rock and used the trees in the
background but then got another image which had a river and then
just filled the left over blank areas in with an appropriate color; grass
green, sky blue, the I added the sun etc.. I feel like this might have
made my overall slide image look slightly off. For example, the rock
looks more like it is on the river and not beside it.
I used my creative side to make some of my slides because some
images weren’t part of the main image that I was making the
background from and therefore I had to initiate and use my creative
abilities to think of where something should go in the main
background image.

7. How well have you used text to anchor
your images
I have used the same simple looking fonts to blend in with my images. Also, I chose to
use a darkish green colour because fits in with the Pied Pipers clothes, shoes and
hat and at the same time gives my book more of a darker feel.
I chose to make the text rhyme because children would enjoy this, especially if they
are getting the storybook red to them.
All my text talks about what is going on in the page. It is like reading what you are
seeing and therefore the text contrasts well with the images and everything is a lot
more clearer and obvious. I thought this was important considering my book is
aimed at a child audience.

8. In slide 6 it is clear the boy and the piper are talking because I wrote what the boy
says to the piper and show the two looking at each other.

9. Is your product suitable for your
audience?
In my proposal I said I was aiming my book at children aged between 8 and 14 of both
genders and I think I have done it justice. I think because my book is simple, clear
and short makes it perfect for my main target audience. This is because children do
not like to much detail or storyline because they could find it hard to follow. I
added a small stroke around my text in order for it to be simple for children to see
and read.
My book features a young boy about 10 years old which my audience will be able to
relate to because they will share the common trait of age with him.

10. My story has an easy concept to it that children could easily follow. The visual
appeal is simple and the words I use in my text are very easy to follow and the
story clearly carries on from page to page. There is not much writing on each
page because children do not want to read a lot as they do not have a great
attention span. Furthermore, I have made the text rhyme as a way to make it
appeal to children. I was inspired to do this by nursery rhymes as I figured out
that children enjoy nice, neat, simple rhymes. I have used a rhyming technique
where I try to leave out words but still make the rhyme make sense because this
makes it so there is less to read. For example, all “of” his lonely feeling were
gone, instead I have said “all his lonely feelings were gone.

11. What do you like/dislike about the
techniques you have used?
I used the shape tools to fill in a part of the image with one specific colour. I used the
rectangle, ellipse, rounded rectangle etc… depending on the shape of the part I
was trying to get.
I like that I used the drop shadow on the curtain drapes because this adds more detail
to the image by making it look shadowy.
I like that I darkened the colours in the boys room for slides 7 and 8 because this gives
it the impression of being night-time. I especially like the way I changed the
colours of the outside through the window.

12. I dislike that when I couldn’t get the detail I wanted in some parts that I just used the
paint brush tool to do it. For example, when the piper plays his pipe all by his lonesome
the eye and eyebrow looks sloppy like they don’t belong with the rest of him.
Sometimes I duplicated layers of something to make it quicker and more efficient, for
example the shelf in the boys room, I duplicated each square then scaled them to be
in sink with each other; smaller if further away and larger if closer. I liked this
technique because it made my book tidier. I used the same effect for the windows and
now they look symmetrical.

13. What do you like/dislike about how
your final product looks?
I like that my book looks appealing to children as a result of its simplicity and colour
schemes.
I like that I used the same techniques, more or less, on each slide because that has
made them suit with each other.
I dislike that I didn’t do enough changing of the characters positioning throughout
production because on slide 6 the book looks weird after he’s been in the same
position for 3 slides and the fact that he’s skipping whilst talking to someone in a
room.

14. I dislike that the first 2 slides look slightly off with their color schemes compared
with the other slides. But then again these first two slides do work with the final
slide.
I dislike that some of the slides do not have a much detail as I wanted them to as a
result of not having enough time. For example I wanted to add shadows of the
piper and the boy in slides 3, 4 and 5.
I dislike that there is no extra slide third from the last showing the boy talking to
the mayor because I feel that the story skips a chunk of the plot at that point.

15. Why did you include the content you
used?
• I used the images I used because I thought I could reinvent them for my story
book. I used the image with the rock to create the town of Hamelin how I
envisioned it after reading various different versions of the tale. For example, I
knew Hamelin had a lake because in one interpretation of the story the piper
doesn’t get his money and leads the children across the lake to never return.
• I used a simple font that is readable because I have got to keep it suitable for a
young audience. The simplicity of the font blends in with the imagery. I used a
small stroke around the writing too in order for it to stand out and be seen.

16. I put an outer glow on the sun layer to make the effect of the sun being bright.
I have used the colors I have used to match the feel of the scene. For example, at the
end when the boy betrays the piper and steals his pipe the colors go dark because it
works with the trait of betrayal, deceit and evil.

17. What signs, symbols or codes have
your used in your work?
I made the boy with an evil look on his face in slide 7 as a connotation to show that he
is about to do something evil, which is to steal the pipe.
I said on slide 4 “the piper played a magic tune”. Which is a sign that the pipe is magic
and no ordinary pipe.
I have made it obvious that the character is the piper by using green to colour him in
and that the town is Hamelin by making it have a lake.
I have used a gold chain and a
crown hat to represent that this
character is the mayor. He is raising
his hand as a sign of anger and
additionally he is wearing a red
cloak to represent this same trait.

18. I have made the prison cell with very dark colors as a representation of the scene and
situation and the fact that it is very negative. The book starts and ends this way as a
symbol that the piper was and felt happy outside in the open and really doesn’t want to
be locked up in prison. On the image below, the fact that the piper has his hands on the
bars is a sign that he doesn’t want to be there and accompanied with this his eyes are
done differently in this slide as if they are watering, which is a sign that he is hurting and
maybe learnt from what he has done.

19. What representations can be found in
your work?
• Men and children are shown in my book as being morally wrong. The boy lies and
steals, the mayor is strict and angry and the piper is a fugitive criminal.
• My work features and an African Hamelinian boy because adding a different raced
character shows that my story is in no way subjective to one particular race and
this might make a wider audience interested in my book.
• My work features different social groups that are represented by a boy, a man and
an old mayor who is very very rich. I think the fact that my book only has 3
characters creates a mixture in diversity. And the fact that the piper was betrayed
by the boy represents the importance of never trusting anyone.
• My story features a river on some of the slides because this river was featured in
most of the original stories, when the piper crosses it and leads the children away.
Therefore, the river is a representation of the original story.
• I took an image of the pied piper dancing to use in my story. Additionally, the Pied
Piper dancing is a trait that was in the original story. He dances with the pipe in his
mouth. Therefore, this is a representation from the original versions of the Piped
Piped.

21. What style have you employed in your
products?
• I have used a darker style for my book and I was influenced by the way the original
story ended with the piper leading the children away from their homes.
• My book has a simple, clear and for the most part appealing visual effect shown
through purely colours. I chose to do it this way because it was a quick way of
doing it as well as it was the effect I was going for because I wanted everything to
appeal to a young audience.
• I used the effect of rotoscoping to produce a book that looked simple for children.
Tidy was what I was going for as well as simple because I didn’t want my book to
look illustrated. I have gone for a quiet style as a pose to busy. There is not much
texture in my work and there is little shading and shadows etc…
• I have also used a clear style as everything is easy to see although done with very
little detail.

22. This Pied Piper image was taken from the original and I use
it to show that I have used a similar style. This image was
one that influenced me when I was browsing the web
looking for images to use for my book because the style
was simple and clear.

23. What were the strengths and weaknesses
of the pre-production and planning
• The planning helped me by making me realise what folks tale I wanted to do and
how to re-establish it.
• Storyboard helped plan out the slides I made and gave me a rough insight into the
main visual aspects I wanted to put on them. For example, the slide with the rats.
• A weakness in my planning was not going into greater depth discussing the mood
board or why I chose the fonts. I feel this didn’t help me realise which font I
wanted to use and that may be why I went with a simple one not from Dafont.
• A strength is that I learnt the best way to get a comic book effect is to rotoscope.
• I managed my time in class well which was a strength. However, a weakness with
my time management was not doing much work outside of class leaving me with a
lot to catch up on in the closing lessons before production.

24. These characters are from my storyboard
and another strength in my planning is
that the planning reflects my final work.
There was a mayor, the boy and the Piper
in my planning storyboard and I have
used all characters in my final product.

25. Historical and cultural context
Many versions of the pied piper have been made and the original was set in Hamelin,
Lower Saxony, Germany in 1284. I went with a dark theme for my book because
when I researched the book I discovered it was a true story and all the theories of
what really happened with the Pied Piped are actually dark and surprisingly
disturbing. This is why I chose a character of the mayor dressed in all those olden
day clothes and why there is very little necessities in the prison cell such as a sink
or window etc…
There is a house in Hamelin (now called Bungelosenstrasse) popular with tourists
called The Rat-catchers house. And the town of Bungelosenstrasse has a part in it
called the street without drums because nobody is allowed to dance there.
Because no one knows the truth about what really happened in the town of Hamelin I
thought I could carry on the story without a believable concept, which is why I
made the pipe magic in my story.

26. Peer Feedback
• Summarise peer feedback and discuss
– Responses you agree with
– Responses you disagree with